This was the most popular post on my blog, “Peaceful Single Girl” for a long time. That blog is now gone (shoot me a comment if you would like a free PDF of it) but I wanted to be sure to share the post here so ladies can still find it.
The Bible says “a prudent wife is a good gift from the Lord” Prov. 19:14.
What does “prudent” mean?
- wise, understanding, and sensible
- congenial (pleasant)
Twenty Key Qualities of a Godly, Prudent Woman:
A prudent woman…
Is Close to God
- Is humbly open to instruction from God and doesn’t pridefully believe she is always right. She monitors her heart for sin and takes her thoughts captive for Christ. (Prov. 3:3-5, 2 Cor. 10:5)
- Knows that the way she treats others is about her character and her walk with the Lord. She takes responsibility for herself, her motives, thoughts, emotions, words, and actions. (Gal. 5:22-23)
- Wants to exalt Jesus more than anything or anyone. He is firmly on the throne of her life and her heart, and she recognizes and tears out any idols. She is willing to do anything Christ desires her to do no matter what the cost. (Luke 9:23-26)
- Chooses to submit to God’s ways and His wisdom even when the world says she is foolish. She lives with Christ as LORD of all in her life. (Matt. 7:13-14, James 4:4)
- Desires God’s approval way more than people’s approval. She is not a people pleaser. (Gal. 1:10)
Is a Woman of Character
- Can speak the truth with love, respect, and kindness. She is not a doormat. She doesn’t give up her God-given influence but uses it wisely to honor the Lord. She doesn’t gloss over sin when it is necessary to address it. She humbly addresses any sin in her own life first. And she doesn’t address sin in a hurtful, self-righteous, prideful, or hateful way. (Matt. 7:1-5, Matt. 18:15-17, Eph. 4:15)
- Is not entitled and is not a victim but knows her identity is a daughter of the King and that she is here to accomplish God’s purposes not her own. (1 Cor. 10:14, James 4:1-2)
- Is virtuous. She desires to live a holy life that is in total obedience and submission to Christ as her Lord. She avoids the appearance of evil. She is modest in her dress and behavior. She avoids temptation sexually, with motives, with words, and in every other way. She guards her heart. (Prov. 4:14,23, 1 Cor. 10:13, 1 Tim. 2:9, James 4:7)
- Doesn’t freak out when things seem to go wrong but takes her fears, anxieties, and worries to God. She is not desperate for anything or anyone in this world. She becomes more and more fearless the closer she is to Jesus. She trusts peacefully in the Lord. (Prov. 3:5-6)
- Is industrious and willing to work hard at work, at home, and on behalf of those in need. (Prov. 31:13-22)
- Is very strong spiritually in Christ and filled with dignity. (Prov. 31:25, Gal. 5:22-23)
- Is not needy and clingy with her man or other people but knows how to be content in Christ alone. She doesn’t hate herself, abuse herself, or invite others to abuse her. She dies to her old sinful self and lives in her new nature in Christ. Her security and identity are firmly rooted in Jesus.(Eccl. 7:26, Matt. 6:33, Phil. 4:12-13)
Relates in Healthy Ways to Others
- Is willing to graciously receive godly wisdom, and even godly rebukes or constructive criticism, from others. (Prov. 13:1)
- Does not seek counsel, advice, or close friendship from those who are far from the Lord but chooses her close friendships and counselors wisely. (Psalm 1:1-3)
- Seeks to be gentle. She knows how to respond softly to others rather than “pouring gasoline on a fire” when someone is upset. (Prov. 15:1)
- Is patient and doesn’t try to force her way on God or others. She honors other people’s free will. She is flexible and able to roll with God’s will. (Psalm 28:7, Phil. 2:3-4, Phil. 4:4-8)
- Controls her temper. She does not become enraged or violent. She doesn’t cherish bitterness or resentment in her heart. She forgives by God’s power. She is not contentious and argumentative. She has self-control by the power of God’s Spirit. (Gal 5:22-23, James 1:20)
- Brings her man (and everyone else around her) good, not harm, all the days of her life. (Prov. 31:12)
- Does not try to control her man but entrusts him, their relationships, and her fears to the Lord. (Eccl. 7:26)
- Keeps a tight rein on her tongue and seeks to use her words to speak life, avoiding gossip, slander, vulgar language, obscenities, cussing, crassness, insults, hateful sarcasm, and hurtful words. (Eph. 4:29, James 1:26)
Old Testament Verses about Wisdom:
- The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Pros. 1:7
- Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. Prov. 3:7
- Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. Prov. 12:1
- The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. Prov. 12:15
- A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. Prov. 13:1
- Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. Prov. 13:20
- One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless. Prov. 14:16
- Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. Prov. 17:27-28
- I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare. Eccl. 7:26
Proverbs 31 – The Virtuous Wife
A Powerful New Testament Passage about Wisdom:
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. James 3:13-18
We yield ourselves humbly before You. In our own power we have no goodness in us at all. We are totally dependent on You and all that Jesus has done on our behalf on the cross and in His resurrection. Pour Your Life into us. Transform us by Your power. Fashion in us the qualities of a prudent woman that we might be the women You desire us to be.
Use our lives for Your greatest glory. Let us love You and submit ourselves to You wholeheartedly. Empower us to live holy lives that bring joy to Your heart. Not out of duty but out of love and thanksgiving for the unspeakable gift of Jesus.
If you don’t have Jesus Christ as your own Lord and Savior, I invite you to check out what He offers you today! You can belong to Him, have His forgiveness, grace, and mercy. You can have peace with God and no condemnation after this life is over. You can live with Jesus in heaven forever!
What has the Lord shown you about becoming a more prudent, godly woman?
What are some things you would still like to learn about regarding becoming wise in God’s ways?
37 years in the faith, I have not arrived. Thats for sure. This list…makes me realize how imperfect I am and in need of Jesus.
I guess it has been about 43 years for me. The more I learn and grow, the more I realize I have MUCH more to learn and much more changing needed for me to be like Jesus.
Thanks for sharing!
I’m so glad the Lord is willing to work in us and that He will complete the good work He began.
I’d love the PDF! I’ve followed you for years! Thanks for everything you do for us. I thank God for you ☺️
Aw! You are most welcome. It’s my honor to get to share God’s treasures with my sisters. <3
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