Choosing Our Counselors Wisely

933783_thinking1 Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
2 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.

4 Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.
5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

6 For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

– Psalm 1

Watch the progression here.

  • First, we walk with someone who is ungodly.
  • Then we stand around for a longer time and talk.
  • Then we sit with them  – showing that we are in agreement with them.

We become like those we hang around.  We embrace the philosophies and ideas of those from whom we seek counsel.  Ideas, attitudes, sin, philosophies, priorities – these are ALL contagious!  Let’s choose VERY CAREFULLY what influences God desires us to surround ourselves with.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,

but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

     -Proverbs 1:7


Do you talk about your emotional, spiritual, marriage and family problems with:

  • your coworkers?
  • your extended family?
  • your neighbors?
  • your friends at church?
  • a professional?

Where do you seek wisdom for your life?

  • self help books?
  • romance novels?
  • movies?
  • academia?

We need to carefully ask ourselves some serious questions before accepting the ideas of other (even those who say they are Christians):

  • What agendas do these people hold dear?
  • What do they believe about Christ?
  • What do they believe about marriage and femininity and masculinity?
  • What do they live out in their own lives and marriages?
  • Do they live in total submission to Him and do they desire more than anything to obey His Word?

Jesus said, “Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.” Matthew 12:30

Are  you going for advice to someone who is WITH Jesus?  Will they:

  • uphold the covenant of your marriage?
  • respect your husband?
  • honor Christ with their words?
  • seek God’s glory in your life?
  • speak the truth in love to you?
  • point you to the Bible?
  • pray with you and for you?
  • be willing to gently, lovingly, firmly show you any sin in your life that is destroying you?
  • uphold God’s Word as absolute truth?

Or will they:

  • drag you away from Jesus?
  • plant doubt and fear in your heart about God or your husband?
  • promote divorce even when God’s Word does not?
  • encourage you to trust SELF instead of Christ?
  • promote idolatry – encourage you to put things above Jesus in your heart?
  • insist on you demanding your “rights”?
  • tell you that you need to be “happy” no matter what the cost to your husband, your marriage, your children and your relationship with Christ?

COMMENTS FROM A WIFE WHO WAS SEEING AN UNBELIEVING PSYCHOLOGIST (She is commenting to me and to a Christian man on the thread, as well):

My counselor was harsh when it came to men, so I stopped discussing anything with her about my husband. She’s also (an unbeliever) and although her beliefs do seem peaceful she acts amused about my faith in God. I’ve been seeing her almost 2 years but it’s time to move on. I will seek a Christian counselor. Someone who is more of a match. We have Christian counseling centers throughout this area. That psychologist did help me with anxiety issues but I have found more help on April’s blog for everything else.

April’s blog helps me lean on God and seek him, that counselor says lean on myself and meditate.

I don’t find peace in that.

I will let her know that I need a Christian counselor. She has suggested I find a different counselor too, a few times. Maybe she’s uncomfortable with my faith. I told her I don’t believe in divorce when she suggested it and I told her why. How clueless Ive been!!!

I thought I could keep our different beliefs separate from the counseling but it affects every aspect of it.

My stronger faith and beliefs since being on Peacefulwife’s blog have interfered in her counseling approach with me. Thank you GOD.

My counselor made me feel confused a few times, so I stopped telling her my personal relationship stuff. It was obvious she leaned heavily towards being single and self supportive. Nothing wrong with either of those things but that meant divorce for me. Ughh. I will pray for the women she counsels. Thanks for taking the time to help me sort out my thoughts on this. Actually you were supportive about what I already felt and kinda knew so thanks for your insight and kindness.

  • I didn’t realize that this very educated psychologist would cause such conflict in me or that her “education” would be in conflict to my faith.

I just was looking for some psychology to help with an anxiety issue and she did help me with that , to understand it as well. She was a bit too full of herself though. Very prideful. Looking back I can see that now in her responses and reactions to things I told her.  Good thing I felt uneasy inside and backed off with sharing. Now I see that uneasiness I was feeling was our conflict of beliefs.

I didn’t go to an appt. last week with her. Missing last week’s appointment feels freeing. I feel good about my decision. Like a cloud has been lifted. Wow.

I was feeling pulled between being a biblical wife and being a feminist.

I had no idea what that conflict was inside my head. April…please never stop what your doing here. So many are deceived. I have tears in my eyes. I think that being the wife I want to be – and that I know God is calling me to be – is going to become easier now. Not easy… just easier.

Love and Hugs.


I totally agree with this article. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. I own my own private practice and do Christian Counseling. I would like to preface though that even some Christians, as well as Christian counselors, may not always be Biblically-based, so make sure that what they, or anyone else, is sharing or advising is always in line with God’s Word. Just as there are “good” and “bad” doctors, there are “good” and “bad” police officers, there are “good” and “bad” pastors, there are “good” and “bad” counselors…always “be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Pet 5:8).