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Eight Powerful Keys to Peace

Photo by Matt Artz on Unsplash

There is no doubt about it, being a woman, wife, and/or mom is tough today. With so many crazy things happening in our own families, relationships, jobs, and schedules – not to mention the complete insanity going on in the world – a peaceful heart may seem like an impossibility.

Yet, each of us has a built-in longing to live in perfect peace for ourselves. And we desperately desire peace in our families and for our precious children, too.

Eight Keys

Here are some critical keys that I have found on my own journey of discovery to become a peaceful wife and mom:

  1. Choose to allow Jesus alone, the Prince of Peace, to sit firmly on the throne of your heart. If anything/anyone else competes for His place there, you will not experience His peace. Peace is part of Jesus and His character. It is something we have because we have Him and we are close to Him. It can’t be separated from Him.
    • You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Isa. 26:3 ESV
    • “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 ESV
  2. Carve out the time you need with God to praise Him, to thank Him, and to fellowship with Him. As you spend time soaking in His love, His Word, and in prayer -He radically transforms your mind and heart. He restores your soul. Receive the tender love of your Good Shepherd. This leads to great peace because you allow yourself to sit at His feet, to be with Him, to know Him, to be still before Him. You allow Him to care for you, protect you, love you, and provide for you in spiritual abundance. He is so very generous to those who come to Him in faith and trust.
    • He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young. Isa. 40:11 ESV
    • Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4:8 ESV
  3. Invite God to help you examine your fixed beliefs and thinking about Him, relationships, and yourself. As you allow Him to help you eliminate lies (big and small) and embrace His truth, He heals you spiritually in amazing ways. His truth truly sets you free. This leads to the ability to have peace with God, with your children, with others, and yourself.
    • “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32 ESV
    • Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6 ESV
  4. Develop the discipline of taking your thoughts captive for Christ so that you can walk in the victory of Christ over negative emotions, tempting thoughts, and even crazy hormones. Then you can often avoid even starting down the mental and spiritual pathways that lead away from peace.
    • We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, 2 Cor. 10:5 ESV
    • No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Cor. 10:13 ESV
  5. Get rid of anything God labels as sin. Whether it is sexual impurity, porn use, sex outside of marriage, homosexuality, lust, bitterness, hatred, unforgiveness, gossip, pride, self-righteousness, dishonesty, stealing, false teaching, idolatry (putting anything above Christ in your heart – even marriage, a relationships, a boyfriend, beauty, money, children,  happiness, or a career), a cult, or an addiction – it all has to go. You can’t have peace and sin at the same time. It is impossible!
    • Now He commands all people everywhere to repent, Acts 17:30ESV
    • Bear fruit in keeping with repentance.Matt. 3:8 ESV
  6. Seek to treat others with respect and honor on your end, responding with the power of the Spirit rather than in destructive ways. When you set a godly example, you open the gates of heaven to pour the Lord’s Life, healing, and peace into your family and relationships
    • Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor. 1 Pet. 2:17 ESV
    • Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Rom. 12:10 ESV
  7. Give up attempts to be responsible for/trying to control other people’s decisions. The ability to accept other people and their own God-given free will is such a gift! When I try to control things over which I don’t actually have control, it creates anxiety. A lot of anxiety. But if I focus on what God has given me control over – myself – and trust God with other people, this is a huge key to peace.
    • But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. 2 Tim. 3:1-5  ESV
    • Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 ESV
  8. Forgive other people – wholeheartedly. Forgiveness may seem impossible in some situations, and it certainly is difficult. It requires the power of the Holy Spirit to help us. But unforgiveness, resentment, and bitterness are toxic. They lead to anxiety, hatred, contempt, and, eventually, even to violence, suicide, or murder if left unchecked long enough. Forgiveness releases you from poison. It allows you to have full fellowship with Jesus and sets you free to live in peace with others as far as it depends on you. (Forgiveness is not the same thing as trust. Trust has to be rebuilt when it was broken. Trust is conditional.)
    • Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Eph. 4:32 ESV
    • But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matt. 6:15 ESV

CORRECTION ON A COMMENT LAST WEEK:

I had a comment on my post briefly last week where I inadvertently said, “Jesus gave up His deity.” YIKES! That is NOT what I intended to say! I meant to say, “Jesus gave up His rights to claim equality with God – even though He was God – and put on the heart of a servant.” (Phil. 2) Jesus was fully God and fully man.

My deepest apologies to anyone who saw that, and to the Lord. I long to handle His Word rightly with every word I speak or type.

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What are some keys to peace you have found on this journey?

REMINDERS

My Mission and Vision 

My Commenting Policy

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

7 Keys to Finding Real Peace  – different keys from the ones in this post. 🙂

How to Stay Filled with the Holy Spirit

How to Have a Saving Relationship with Christ

What Is Respect in Marriage?

Respecting My Children?

Fear Fuels My Need to Control

The Peaceful Mom – Building a Healthy Foundation with Christ As Lord is a book for moms of any age. It’s an easy-to-read, step-by-step guide to help you discover the abundant spiritual life and divine peace that is available to you in Jesus. It gets into the meat behind these 8 keys, and much more. Honestly, it would be a blessing to any woman, even those who are not married and who don’t have children. But it is especially designed with moms in mind. The best part is, as you become a Peaceful Mom, you also learn to give the same tools to your children so that they can learn to live in God’s supernatural peace, too. There is no greater gift than that for our children!

 

8 thoughts on “Eight Powerful Keys to Peace

  1. Hi April,
    I love this post. I have been reading your “Peaceful Mom” book and I find it very useful for all women (mothers or not).

    I love that you said here that “Forgiveness is not the same as trust. Trust has to be rebuilt when it is broken”. As a teenager and throughout my 20s, I erroneously believed that forgiveness = trust & reconciliation. I was actually very angry at God for asking me to forgive those who were cruel and hurtful towards me and to turn the other cheek when they hurt me because I thought that forgiveness meant that I had to stay in the relationship/friendship and continue to put up with cruelty and abuse. It took me a long time to realize that I can forgive a hurtful person and still choose to distance myself from them if I had reason not to trust them or want to be close to them.

    For example, I actually spent 20 years of my life with a friendship with a woman who hurt me thousands of times in thousands of ways. She was for example:
    • A mean racist (and would get angry at me for having friends of other races). She was a terrible influence on me.
    • A big gossip (I would confide in her about family problems and she would repeat what I said to others).
    • Cruel and insensitive to me (for example, make fun of me for being too thin and having acne).
    • Domineering and controlling towards me.
    • Negative, sarcastic and bitter, among other flaws.

    I also got close to my sister-in-law who would constantly attack me for my Christian faith, make fun of me for being Christian, try to dictate my every thought, opinion and idea and also drag me into her new-age beliefs. It actually worked. I turned my back on Christ and went new-age for about 8 years because of her. When I came back to Christ, she started her angry, hateful attacks towards me so I distanced myself from her. I realized that I can’t trust her and I should not be close to her.

    Only when I started reading the Bible regularly, I realized that God does not want me to be close to anyone who is mean, bitter, angry, cruel or domineering (Proverbs 22:24) and he definitely doesn’t want me to be close to anyone who is openly hostile towards Him. I distanced myself from this “friend”, my sister-in-law and a couple of other people with poor characters and I felt like a huge burden was lifted off my back. It was impossible to be peaceful or happy while having close relationships with people who bring darkness and pain into my life.

    I also enjoyed tip #7 about not taking responsibility for other people’s decisions. I’ve had several friends who were sexually promiscuous and I tried my best to lead them out of their promiscuous lifestyle. Again, through reading the Bible (2 Tim 3: 1-5), I realized that it’s not my responsibility to help those people and that I should actually avoid them. I have also distanced myself from promiscuous friends and I feel much happier as a result.

    Thanks again for sharing these posts. Would you consider doing a post on choosing friends and associates? So many of us get dragged into sin simply by the company that we keep (1 Cor 15:33). I would really appreciate a full post on choosing friends.

    1. Hi again, I want to add the Psalm 1:1 also helped me learn how to choose friends:

      “Blessed is the one
      who does not walk in step with the wicked
      or stand in the way that sinners take
      or sit in the company of mockers”.

      This tells me that God wants me to choose associates wisely and deliberately avoid being close to the “wicked”, “sinners” and “mockers”.

      1. Nikki,

        Yes, that passage is very helpful when it comes to choosing friends. Also, there are specific passages in the New Testament about people that we are to avoid.

        Avoid people like this
        3 Understand that the last days will be dangerous times. 2 People will be selfish and love money. They will be the kind of people who brag and who are proud. They will slander others, and they will be disobedient to their parents. They will be ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, contrary, and critical. They will be without self-control and brutal, and they won’t love what is good. 4 They will be people who are disloyal, reckless, and conceited. They will love pleasure instead of loving God. 5 They will look like they are religious but deny God’s power. Avoid people like this. 6 Some will slither into households and control immature women who are burdened with sins and driven by all kinds of desires. 7 These women are always learning, but they can never arrive at an understanding of the truth. 8 These people oppose the truth in the same way that Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses. Their minds are corrupt and their faith is counterfeit. 9 But they won’t get very far. Their foolishness will become obvious to everyone like those others. 2 Tim. 3:CEB

        In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching you received from us. 2 Thess. 3:6 NIV

        Take special note of anyone who does not obey our instruction in this letter. Do not associate with them, in order that they may feel ashamed. 2 Thess. 3:14

        Now I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and obstacles that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Turn away from them. Rom. 16:17

        If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, regard him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. Matt. 18:17 (After you confront a brother privately and then bring several other believers and confront him…)

        If anyone comes to you but does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your home or even greet him. 2 John 1:10

        But now I am writing you not to associate with anyone who claims to be a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a verbal abuser, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. 1 Cor. 5:11

        1. I’m actually reading the book of Nehemiah now. He definitely had firm boundaries. He turned away from anyone who tried to turn him away from God. It’s a good book to study when learning how to set boundaries.

    2. Nikki,

      It is CRITICAL that we understand that forgiveness and trust are two entirely different and separate things. It breaks my heart that you didn’t know this essential truth! There is a high price to pay for trusting someone who is untrustworthy. God doesn’t command us to trust sinful men. Jesus didn’t entrust Himself to men because “He knew what was in the heart of a man.” We are only commanded to trust God. He alone is always trustworthy.

      I’m so thankful God has shown you how to guard your heart and protect yourself from those who are hostile toward Him and toward you.

      When someone who professes Christ is living in unrepentant sin and we attempt to graciously, respectfully, lovingly address the issue, and they don’t repent. Matt 18:15-17 says how we are to handle the matter. And we are then not to associate with these people because they will hurt our witness for Christ and they could pull us away from the Lord.

      I will consider doing a post like that, sure!

  2. Thanks so much for sharing these scriptures with me. I feel so much better to know that God truly wants me to distance myself from people who are hostile to me and to Christ himself.

    So much emphasis is placed on being kind, generous, forgiving and compassionate that there is very little teaching out there about setting boundaries and exiting harmful friendships and relationships. I pray that all Christians would receive the balanced message you are presenting.

    As my son gets older, I will definitely work hard to teach him a balanced message and encourage him to be kind and forgiving while being firm enough to end harmful friendships. I don’t want him to have the painful experiences I had.

    1. Nikki,
      You are most welcome. Yes, God distances Himself from those who are living in rebellion against Him. He loves them. He wants them to return. But He does not maintain fellowship with those who live in unrepentant sin.

      I love the book of Nehemiah and it is definitely a great book about how to handle boundaries appropriately!

      Much love!

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