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Humility is Beautiful

A HUGE key to a successful and intimate relationship with God or with my husband is my own humility.  My sinful and arrogant pride (thinking I know best, I know better than God, I know better than my husband, I have greater wisdom than anyone else) repels my husband, God and everyone else around me!


Humility is NOT beating myself up, berating myself, putting myself down, feeling sorry for myself, thinking I am worthless or not valuable.  That is FALSE humility and it can actually be pride in disguise, or it could be believing Satan’s lies about your identity instead of believing God’s Word about who you are in Christ.


Humility is a proper understanding of myself – who I am in relationship to the holy God of the universe, how spiritually poverty-stricken and poor I am on my own, and how I am not above other people. 


God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.   James 4:6

When I think of myself as sovereign, in control of my life, in control of my marriage, in control of God, in control of my husband – God Himself opposes me!  No wonder there is no peace, no joy, no contentment, none of the fruit of the Spirit when I have myself on the throne of my heart in God’s place and make an idol of myself!


Without humility, I will not forgive.  Without humility, I will insist on my own way and be selfish. 

Where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.  James 3:16

This verse is IMPORTANT! Let’s apply it to my marriage. If I am being selfish in my marriage, and seeking my own desires, my own wants, my own goals, my own satisfaction, my own feelings of being loved and secure (and not focusing on my husband’s needs and desires or God’s Word and His commands and His will for me) – what does God’s Word say I will find in my marriage?

Whew!  and YIKES!!!!!  “disorder and every evil practice” is NOT what I dream of for my marriage!

Think about the following verses about humility in reference to your marriage today. 

  • When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2
  • The fear of the Lord teaches a man (or woman!) wisdom, and humility comes before honor.  Proverbs 15:33
  • “This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.”  Isaiah 66:2
  • Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up.  James 4:10
  • Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:  Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.  And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to death – even death on a cross!  Therefore God exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the Name that is above every name, that at the Name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.  Philippians 2:3-11


When I apply humility to my relationship with God – I am blessed, honored, lifted up, exalted AND God is greatly glorified!  My godly humility draws God to me!  This life is about GOD – it is NOT about me!

When I apply humility to my relationship with my husband, God is free to work through me and in my marriage in ways that He can’t work when I am infested and eaten up with the sin of pride.  My godly humility draws my husband to me like a magnet!


Help us to each become women of genuine, godly humility.  Help us to clearly see our pride by the power of Your Spirit contending with us.  Convict us.  Help us to repent with godly sorrow and show us the light we need for each new step into the abundant life You have created for us!


19 thoughts on “Humility is Beautiful

  1. Thank you, April, for a beautiful post. So much good stuff in there. I have to constantly remind myself that this life is not about me and what I can gain, but about giving glory to Almighty GOd. Thank you again for the gift you give us wives seeking solid biblical encouragment. I have been blessed. Much love to you.

    1. Gleniece,
      You are very welcome. It is my desire to exalt Christ alone here. 🙂

      Thank you for the love and encouragement!

      Sending the love of Christ to you, my sister! 🙂

  2. Without humility Darrell and I kept going around the same ‘mountain’. It was in recognizing that every few months it seemed like we were back to where we started: same accusations, same finger pointing, same phrases and words. It was like there were well worn grooves around each one and the only way to climb out of them were with humility.

    After years of it, you finally get a clue that something’s wrong: you’re not progressing … anywhere! I found the more vehemently I blamed Darrell for our constant “circular travelling” — the less I actually lacked humility. UGH.

    1. Robyn,
      I know that when I was focused on my husband’s sins – I grew more and more prideful, self righteous, bitter and unforgiving.

      Like Gary Thomas says, “We are most likely to sin when we are sinned against.”

      But the scary thing is – I justified my sin- because “look at what HE did!?”

      It took me weeks and weeks and weeks of repenting of pride every day and confessing it to get that ungodly mountain out of my soul. Pride is so insidious. We don’t even recognize it – but it is a root cause of most other sins.

      Thanks for sharing, Robyn!

  3. Yup totally :)! I think humility is one of the most important and valuable fruits of the spirit and one of the hardest to have! I certainly struggle with it. I pray for humility each morning – after nearly 3 months of this I’m finally starting to see some results but I know I have a loooong way to go yet, still it’s totally worth the effort.

    One of the things I like best about beginning to see this fruit in my life is I don’t say half as many things I later regret, and it seems to be easier to listen.

    Personally I’ve found two books really helpful in terms of humility – one is “Living on the Edge” by Chip Ingram, and the other is “The Power of Humility: Living like Jesus” by R. T. Kendall.

    1. Thank you so much, Songberry – those books sound VERY GOOD!

      Humility seems so difficult at first. But then, it becomes the most delicious place to live. 🙂

      And I LOVE that as God changes me and fills me – I don’t have to apologize nearly as much and don’t have the regrets I used to have. He is making me into the woman I have always longed to be! But I had to bring myself down thousands of notches in my mind – and exalt Christ about a million notches. Then, I began to understand clearly! 🙂

      Thanks for the comment and sharing your heart and insights!

  4. Pingback: Humility | mubiana
  5. God revealed your blog to me at the perfect time. Our four year wedding anniversary was new year’s day. We have been together since freshmen year of college and married right after graduation, so we are young bucks and practically have been growing into our adult selves together, all while balancing school, jobs, the birth of our first child, and life’s daily rigors.

    I have never felt such conviction. We are you and your husband. I am the dominant wife and he is the passive husband. I am finally pointing the finger at myself, and although part of me is angry that it has to be me to make the first move… I understand why. And I’m beginning to see the value in the position of being the influential leader.

    Thank you for writing down your experiences so that other married couples can learn from them. One day at a time.


    1. calmamiller,

      Congratulations on your anniversary! I praise God for what He is doing in your heart and that He led you here. I think you will find a lot of the answers you need here. I am always glad to hear from you!

      Much love to you!

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