Woman sitting on a lower step with man embracing her from behind outside.

Marriage Challenge: Take Your Husband’s Advice Seriously

Our marriage challenge this weekend could stretch a lot of us! But it may be an unexpected blessing for you and for your marriage.

Think about the fact that God often leads wives and families through husbands. That is His design, after all. (1 Cor. 11:3, Eph. 5:22-33, 1 Pet. 3:1-7, Col. 3:18-19, Titus 2:3-5). If you are not paying any attention to your husband’s advice, counsel, or suggestions, you may actually be missing out on blessings and guidance from the Lord.

I have found that often, God will put some wise advice on Greg’s mind to benefit me. He may not realize that is where it comes from. Sometimes he just has a “gut feeling.”

My particular husband has often given me suggestions when I had problems, and I spent years ignoring it thinking I knew so much better than he did.

Can I tell you how much angst and drama I had in my life because I did not listen to his wise counsel countless times!?!

Now I know he has a very different perspective from mine and that he often has incredible wisdom to share if I am open to it.

In fact, there have been times I have come to him with problem situations or problem people in my life and he gave me advice years ago but I kept doing things my way, thinking it was better, only to realize 5 years later that if I had listened to Greg and followed his counsel, I would have spared myself (and sometimes other people) a lot of angst and misery.

  • Husbands are not deity. They are not God.
  • They are not always right.
  • They don’t always know best.
  • But they can absolutely be instruments in God’s hands. Even unbelieving husbands.

If we are open to trusting God to lead us, it’s amazing what he can do through our husbands. I didn’t think Greg would or could lead in our marriage, but as I got out of the way and became willing to follow, turns out he leads very well.

10 things that happen when you are willing to take this leap of faith and listen to your husband’s counsel.

  1. If he is at all emotionally/mentally healthy your husband will begin to realize that you trust him and you will listen to his suggestions and advice. That will make him want to be a much better leader because he loves when you trust him. He doesn’t want to disappoint the woman who admires him and is willing to follow his lead.
  2. You will begin to see that God is good and He is able to lead you even through an imperfect husband. Your faith in God will increase.
  3. Your husband may learn to become a better leader as he feels more weight on his shoulders.
  4. Your husband will likely feel more attracted to you as he senses your faith in him.
  5. You will begin to see how your husband’s different perspective on life is a blessing and your understanding and perspective will widen and deepen.
  6. Sometimes, his advice may not result in the best outcomes. This is an incredible opportunity to show him grace and to let him learn from his mistakes and grow as a leader.
  7. You will find that your husband will probably try to lift burdens from your shoulders and lessen your stress load and you will probably feel a lot more peaceful.
  8. You may discover that your husband has a lot more wisdom than you realized and your genuine respect for him will increase.
  9. As your husband sees that you don’t argue with him or ignore his counsel, he will feel more protective of you and thankful for you.
  10. Your husband will also probably feel more relaxed around you and more invested in your marriage and family.

THE TAKE YOUR HUSBAND’S ADVICE SERIOUSLY CHALLENGE

If you are up for it, here’s the challenge:

When your husband gives you advice over the next 3-4 days…

  1. Listen and show him you care about what he is saying.
  2. Smile and thank him for his advice and thank God for your husband’s leadership.
  3. Try to take his advice (unless it would lead you into sin) and invite God to use it for good.
  4. Write down the advice and what happens in your prayer journal.

If he doesn’t give you advice over the next few days, think back to a time when he did and you didn’t follow it. Pray about that advice and see if it may still be relevant. Then seek to follow it and thank him for his advice.

If you really disagree with the advice, take it to God first before you make a decision. Pray. Invite God to show you what to do. Ask God for wisdom and direction. Ask Him to help you see His will and do His will in the situation. Ask Him to help you see how He may be leading you through your husband.

You don’t necessarily have to do absolutely everything your husband suggests. Some suggestions are just that—suggestions for you to take or not.

But realize that he is probably looking out for you and he may see things you can’t see. He may have a lot of great advice. At least give him a chance and sincerely seek the Lord about it. This is often how your husband tries to lead you, protect you, and care for you.

He may see things you can’t see. He may have a lot of great advice.

At least give him a chance and sincerely seek the Lord about it.

There may be times to have a discussion about the advice before you take it. Or to share your perspective with your husband, as well.

But this weekend, especially if you don’t usually take your husband’s advice or suggestions, do what you can to begin to change that. Show him you value his wisdom and leadership.

Please let us know you’re joining in the comments!

NOTE:

Of course, as always, if you are dealing with a husband who is not in his right mind, is trying to harm you or your children, or you are just in a very messy situation, please use godly discernment and seek the Lord in your situation. If you don’t know what to do or you (or your children) are not safe, please reach out for experienced, wise, appropriate help (a trusted counselor, pastor, doctor, or the police, depending on your situation).

Some examples of the kinds of advice my husband has given me over the years:

  • How about slow down a bit.
  • We’re going to try to make the best of the situation and look for the good.
  • Take some things off your plate and rest more.
  • I want you to try to get more sleep.
  • Don’t worry. It’s going to be okay.
  • Don’t invest a lot of energy, time, and effort into this person/that person, it’s not going to end well.
  • Ministry can take up all your time if you let it. The key is balance.
  • Focus on the women who really want to grow in Christ.
  • Don’t even respond to that person who was being so nasty. They just want to take up your time and get you riled up.
  • I don’t think this person can hear what you are trying to share right now. I think you’ll have to stop talking about spiritual things and just pray.
  • Let’s not react out of fear. Let’s trust God.
  • Let’s wait a few days and see what happens.
  • The kids have had a lot of changes recently, they may not need another big change right now.
  • Don’t beat yourself up over this. Everyone makes mistakes.
  • Let’s just relax and enjoy each other tonight.
  • Don’t get too crazy with cleaning and organizing everything perfectly, it stresses everyone else out too much.
  • I think you’ll feel better if you let me give you a hug.

I missed out on a lot of good things when I ignored my husband’s wisdom and advice. Now, I seek to be open to his words.

A Spiritual Challenge

If our husbands have wisdom to share to bless us, how much more blessing will we experience if we listen to God’s Word and obey Him?

Let’s consciously seek to take God’s counsel to heart and to walk in obedience and trust with Christ. As we seek Him first and invite His Spirit to work, He can give us the power we need to do this.

Your word is a lamp for my feet,
    a light on my path.

Psalm 119:105

Share

What is some advice your husband gave you that was a huge blessing?

Does this challenge seem easy for you, or difficult? Do you have any questions or concerns?

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2 thoughts to “Marriage Challenge: Take Your Husband’s Advice Seriously”

  1. Hi April,
    This challenge was difficult for me because I’m used to being independent and taking care of myself. I got married at 39 years old. It’s a big adjustment to make myself depend on my husband… or anyone else for that matter.

    This weekend, a huge, ugly and painful boil emerged on my skin. When such things happen, my usual reaction is to hide any ailment I have from my husband, go to the doctor and take the prescribed medication without even telling my husband anything about it.

    To fulfill this challenge, I stopped myself from doing that and instead showed my husband the boil and asked his opinion. He said that he knows the best way to treat it and went out this morning to buy me an antibiotic for it. I saw how proud he was that I asked his opinion and am accepting his help.

    I’ll ask his opinion and advice more often to make him happy and reinforce our partnership.

    1. Nikki,

      I’m proud of you for sharing your problem with your husband. That was very vulnerable of you and being vulnerable increases intimacy emotionally and spiritually.

      He needs to know that you are willing to come to him for things, at least sometimes! And it means so much to him when you seek his wisdom and advice.

      Much love!

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