6 Ways NOT to Ask Your Man to Put Clothes Away

Let’s imagine that you have just folded a lot of laundry and you would like your husband to put his laundry away while you try to put the rest away.

It’s totally fine to ask your husband for things, in most cases. But there are some self-sabotaging ways for a Christian wife to ask and there are some healthy ways to ask.

6 Ways NOT to Ask Your Husband to Put Away Laundry:

1. Sarcastic:

“You know, it wouldn’t kill you to put your clothes away yourself.”

2. Insulting:

“What are you, an idiot? Why hasn’t it occurred to you that you need to put your own laundry away? What am I? Your maid?”

3. Playing the Martyr:

“No, don’t worry about me. I have nothing else to do. It’s not like I’ve had a headache all day or anything. I’ll put your clothes away myself while you sit and relax.”

4. Pressuring:

“You’d better put your stack of clothes away… NOW.”

5. Threatening:

“If you don’t put your clothes away in 5 minutes, you’ll regret it.”

6. Giving a Choice Instead of Making a Request, Then Getting Upset If He Makes the Wrong Choice:

“Wouldn’t you like to put your clothes away?”
(He says, “No, thanks,” because he thought you offered him a choice.)
“I asked you to put your clothes up. You never help me!”


6 Ways TO Ask Your Husband to Put Away His Clothes

(With a smile and a friendly tone of voice, and possibly with a dash of friendly humor, sweetness, affection, or even *gasp* flirting.)

1. Honey, would you please take your stack of clothes to the closet? Thanks!

2. Babe, when you get a chance, it would be the sweetest thing if you would please put your clothes away. Thank you!

3. Hey, Honey, I have your clothes folded and ready for you to put them in the closet when you get a second sometime today. Thanks so much!

4. If only a handsome laundry fairy would take these clothes to your closet, it would really make my day!

5. If you get a chance to take these clothes to the closet, you would be my hero! (Sweet kiss and hug.)

6. If only there were a strong, tall, handsome man around here who would be willing to carry this heavy stack of laundry to the closet for me. I would be forever grateful!

Outdo one another in showing honor.

Rom. 12:10

Remember, if he can’t help or he won’t help, it’s important not to freak out. Respond graciously and continue to seek to honor the Lord in the way you speak to your husband.


What suggestions do you have for healthy ways to ask your man for something?

How does the way you approach your husband change the way he relates to you?

How do you feel when people use these different approaches with you?


  1. Thank you for this perspective. It sure does make a difference to our husbands when we speak lovingly, gently and calmly to them.
    God bless you sister.

    1. Shad,

      Yes! I know it is hard to stop and notice our body language and tone of voice sometimes. But it is worth the effort to be kind, gentle, polite, and respectful. We sure appreciate it when people treat us well! So do our men.

      And it pleases the Lord. Which is a blessing in itself.

      Much love!

  2. Thank you for putting this in WORDS! crazy to think after 28 years of marriage I still can’t come up with the right words! Thank you- this is soooo helpful.

    1. Carla,

      Ha! This is exactly the kind of help I needed in the first few years of my journey. I couldn’t figure out what to say!

      Glad this is a blessing. <3

      1. Hmmm… just tried it in the nicest fun way. He replied “You can do it too”. Got anything for that response?? Yes he’s old school. Woman is the keeper of the house.

        1. Carla,

          If the two of you have agreed to split the division of labor so that you do the inside chores and he handles the outside chores, handyman stuff, and car maintenance, that’s totally fine, too.

          At our house, I usually do the housekeeping chores and cooking. The kids help with that, too. Greg does the yardwork, car maintenance, handyman stuff, renovations, power tools, anything involving going under the house/sewage, etc…

          I usually don’t ask him for a lot of help with my chores. But sometimes, I will ask him for a little help, since we are both working full-time now (at his request). He often grabs the laundry basket and folds the white things, matches socks, and folds underwear while he watches TV these days. That never used to happen before recent years.

          You may decide to reserve asking for help with your chores for times when you are really exhausted, sick, or feeling overwhelmed.

          But if you wanted to respond in that moment with something like, “That’s true. I just find find it to be such a turn on when you help me out sometimes.” Or, “Very true. I just thought I’d ask.”

          Or, “That’s true. And it is an honor to get to take care of the home for our family. Thank you for all the things you do to take great care of me, too.”

          The main point of my post, I hope, was not specifically about the laundry, but about the way we approach our husbands when we ask for help with something. <3

            1. Carla

              Yes! It is key not to get resentful if he does say, “No.” And it is wise to have a gracious response ready.

              As you focus on what he has done for you, it helps you feel thankful and reminds him of your respect for him. May even soften his heart a bit.


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