Time to Nip That Relationship ASAP


  • you get butterflies in your stomach if you know you might see him
  • you think about him often
  • you imagine what life would be like with him and daydream about him
  • you compare him to your husband (and the other guy always looks “better”)
  • you pay extra attention to your wardrobe/hair/make-up if you think you might see him that day
  • you want to  (or you actually DO) call him/text him/FB message him/email him privately
  • you really enjoy being around him
  • you find yourself wanting to hide things (or hiding things) from your husband/family/friends about your relationship and contact with this man
  • you smile constantly when he’s in the room
  • you go out of your way to try to run into him
  • you want to share big news with him before you want to tell your husband
  • you like it when he looks at you and flirts with you
  • you feel like he “really understands” you
  • you want to confide all your feelings and thoughts to him
  • you begin to depend on his emotional connection and sharing
  • you know your feelings are out of control for him
  • you “feel loved” by him
  • you feel anxiety about him


  • your husband asks you not to talk to the guy or see him anymore (If this happens, PLEASE try to cooperate with your husband and submit to him about this!)
  • he flirts with you a lot
  • he gives you frequent compliments
  • he puts your husband down or says, “If I were your husband, I’d do X!”
  • he subtly begins to try to “control” you – to tell you how he wants you to dress, wear your hair, who you talk to or what you do
  • he demands your time and attention
  • he gets really offended if you don’t call/message/email/text/visit/respond
  • when you get nervous that things may be going too far, he pulls back and insists calmly, “We’re just friends!  Everything’s cool!”
  • he seems so interested in hearing about God and the gospel but only wants to hear about it in private and doesn’t want to talk to a man about God – only YOU.
  • he makes it clear that he intends to be with you romantically
  • he doesn’t respect your marriage
  • he tries to isolate you
  • he wants to “counsel” you or “guide” you in your life and in your marriage as if he has wisdom to offer and you are his “student.”
  • he wants you to be willing to sin to be with him or for him
  • he is telling other people about his sexual plans for you
  • he talks about sexual things with you
  • he touches you/hugs you or worse
  • he tries to get you alone and tells you nothing is wrong with your relationship with him
  • he tries to convince you that adultery is not sin in this case – you and he are the exception
  • he undermines God’s Word
  • he gets aggressive, sexual or violent with you
  • other people comment on the inappropriateness of your relationship with this man
  • gossip is spreading about you and this man

I Corinthians 6:18-20 is REALLY clear about what God desires me to do in these situations:

Flee from sexual immorality.  All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.  Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your body.


  • immediately cut off all contact with this man (enlist help from your husband, a godly friend, your boss, church leaders – if necessary)
  • if you work with him, try to change schedules or stores if possible so that you are not with him at all (whenever possible – if it is up to  you – try not to work with men!)
  • if you go to church with him, you may need to consider changing churches (you would have to discuss that with your husband and repent if you had sinned against your husband in any way.)
  • block him on FB
  • stop all calls/texts/emails completely – change your number and email if necessary
  • if you have to see him, tell him you can’t talk to him/be friends/have a relationship anymore – that it is not appropriate – BUT the more you try to talk, you give him more opportunities to squeeze back into your life and heart.  Sometimes it is just better to flee!
  • talk with a godly wife who can help pray with you
  • spend lots of time in God’s Word
  • seek to be sensitive to God’s Spirit and His conviction of any sin on your part
  • REPENT!  Turn from your own way to God’s way with all your heart.  This will involve repenting to God and repenting to your husband.
  • focus on Jesus being LORD of everything in your life
  • focus your energy, love, respect and attention on your husband and family

If any other wives have additional godly, helpful suggestions, you are welcome to add them!


Is It Wise to Be Friends with Other Men?