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Respecting Your Man around Extended Family


Some tips for family get-togethers:

– Smile and look at your husband when he is talking and listen to him with interest.

– Don’t interrupt him.

– Don’t correct his story-telling.

– Don’t tell him how to drive unless he specifically asks for you to be the navigator.  But even then, don’t critique his driving skills.

– Let him decide what to eat and don’t lecture him or give him THE LOOK!

– Don’t pout if he goes to talk with the men and leaves you with the women.

– If people get nosy and start asking things you don’t want to answer, “When are you having a baby?  Are you ever going to get pregnant?”  or other personal questions – smile and look at your husband and let him field those questions.  If he’s not there, then smile and say something to deflect the question, “Children are a blessing, aren’t they?”  “We’ll be sure to let everyone know if we have any news.”  And change the topic sweetly.

– Praise him genuinely in front of others.

– Do NOT criticize him, speak negatively of him or use non-verbal disrespect (eye rolling, sighing, looking impatient, scowling, daggers in your eyes).

– Do NOT join in with other wives bashing their husbands!!!!  Even if your husband never knows about it, putting your man down in front of other people is extremely disrespectful and it will taint your ability to respect your husband.

– If people want you to agree to something or commit to something, check with your husband first, or if he is there, look at him and let him answer.

– Uphold your husband’s parenting decisions (ESPECIALLY in front of others!).

– Smile and enjoy the blessing of being with your husband and family.

– Do not complain or argue – that ruins your witness for Christ and it can ruin the whole atmosphere for everyone.

– Do not be a martyr!  Ask for help if you need it!  If you can’t make a certain dish without feeling resentful – don’t make it!

– Don’t correct his manners.

– Don’t correct his pronunciation.

– Don’t insinuate he doesn’t make enough money.

– Be content with him and what you have.

– Find your strength, joy, identity and purpose in Christ!!  Then you won’t feel compelled to drown your husband with your needs that only Jesus can fulfill.

– Let your husband make his own decisions.  Don’t try to force him to do things your way.  You may politely ask for what you would prefer – but then cooperate with his decision (unless he is asking you to sin).

– Make sure there will be some of your husband’s favorite dishes if possible.

8 thoughts on “Respecting Your Man around Extended Family

  1. Gratitude is an incredible emotion. So I would add one thing: be thankful that your husband is with you on Thanksgiving! This is my first year apart from my husband on a holiday (he’s working several states away on Storm Sandy restoration). I can only get a glimpse of what our military spouses endure on a regular basis. But boy, it makes me really grateful for the times we’re together! I think it’s much easier to be respectful when our hearts are filled with gratitude for our husbands.

    1. Great comment, Kristen!!!! Thank you for sharing and I pray you can be back together soon. I know many people are thankful for your husband’s help in the north east!

      Sent from my iPhone

  2. Ugh April I fail at this. I just read this exact thing a few days ago and realize I joke around alot with my friend about how rob has to be organized nd stuff and I feel really bad. And I have had to apologize to him for being mean too like we play around but I am mean. I am working g on this. I though talking about my husband with a friend was just venting but I realize it’s not. So sad!

    1. Nina,
      It is SOOOOOOO easy to go from talking with a friend and trying to get support to slipping into gossip, slander, disrespect and bashing. 🙁

      But I am really glad you are seeing this! That is the first step! You have to see it before you can change it. Praying that God will give you strength and power and wisdom to honor Him with your words and attitudes. 🙂 MUCH LOVE!

    2. You’re not the only wife in the world guilty of such behaviors. Me too and quite often. But anyway it’s God’s mercy we understand we are WRONG. Let’s put our eyes on God’s promises. A lot of things are impossible for us to change, but with GOD everything is possible. And let’s be patient with ourselves for HE is amazingly patient with us…

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