Cultivate a Spirit of Gratitude in Your Marriage

I invite you to think back to some of the sweetest things your husband has ever done for you. Big things and small things. Write them down somewhere special. Then think about your husband’s strengths and anything you can imagine to be thankful for about concerning him.

It’s easy to get hung up on the little annoying things. The enemy would love for us to take that wide path to discontentment. But we will have much more joy, peace, and contentment as we focus on the blessings we have. As the saying goes, “Whatever you focus on grows.”

Maybe you’d even like to start a list in your prayer journal or in your phone. And every time you think of another good thing, you may want to add it.

Everyone will have different things. That’s okay! We don’t need to compare husbands with each other. But let’s commit to focusing on the good things we see in our own men as we seek to develop grateful hearts.

  • Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Phil. 4:8
  • Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thess. 5:18

We are at our best spiritually when we focus primarily on positive, good things about our husbands, our children, God, our homes, our bodies, ourselves, life, etc…

Much love, dear sisters!

Note – This doesn’t mean we ignore sin or don’t address it properly. We do need to address sin in godly, humble, respectful ways. We need others to lovingly, respectfully address sin in our lives, too. If there are very serious issues in your marriage, please reach out for experienced, godly, trustworthy help in your area, if at all possible.

Verses about Thankfulness


How do you like to cultivate a spirit of thanksgiving in your life and marriage? <3


  1. Hi April! Thank you for reminding us to have a spirit of gratitude. We were at a Family Life Weekend to Remember marriage conference and one of the topics in the women’s session was on gratitude. I’m so grateful for my husband. I’m learning to praise him and thank my husband for the big things and the little things he does.

    1. Regina S,

      Love this! Yes our gratitude makes such a wonderful difference in every area, especially in marriage.

      Thanks so much for sharing!


  2. Hi April,

    If there is a particular habit or a few of them, that really deeply bother me about my husband yet there are tons and tons of amazing loving qualities to be thankful for and to show gratitude for, would it be better to “accept” these qualities… and let them go, and not bring them up to him or pray about it- which helps me minimize them. Or is it important I pray for the things I don’t like or agree with… which sounds good, yet usually makes me feel discouraged and think of them more… discouraged bc it doesn’t change even as I pray, and think of them more bc I’m constantly praying about them.

    I’ve realized I can’t change him with my words, or asking. I want to pray but I also just feel like I have to accept him completely as he is and trust God to work and change without me. But I don’t want to do that if it’s the right thing for me to continue in fervent prayer for these things…

    1. Niki,

      There are times when it is best to wait and pray and let things go. There are times when we do need to speak up. This requires the wisdom of the Spirit and a right handling of the Word.

      If you have already addressed the issues and they are not severe things that put you in danger, it may be wise to wait and pray. And if he is not a believer, his first need is Jesus. He won’t have the power to live a godly life without Christ.

      So it depends on the situation and on how the Lord leads you. And it is wise to invite God to help you check your motives and to help you see and repent of any sin in your life, as well.

      You are welcome to search my blog for things like:
      – to speak or not to speak
      – confronting our husbands about their sin
      – the cure for my compulsion to control

      Praying for God’s clear wisdom for you, dear sister!

  3. My friend recently got into a HUGE fight with her husband and he decided to sleep on the couch. She was laying in bed so hurt and angry and admited that she was even considering life as a single mom. Then he sends her a text…there was a snake in the other room which was her office. She has a massive fear of snakes and began to panic. When her husband had removed it, she asked him to sleep in their bedroom because she was still so worked up. As she laid next to him, she began to realize all the things she loved about her husband, all the ways he protected her, provided for her and cared for her. It softened her heart and made her realize that his imperfections were not ALL that he was.

    What a difference it makes when we focus on the POSITIVE in our spouse, rather than the negative. Their marriage is far from perfect, but her perspective has changed which has helped her love her husband better. Sometimes God asks us to endure. Sometimes He asks US to change first. Sometimes He decides to send a snake to help us refocus. No matter what He chooses to do, I love seeing Him at work! <3

    1. Hi,
      This is such a lovely story. God does the funniest things to get our attention and make us focus on the right things. We need to strive to always give thanks and praise for all the good things in our husbands and our marriages in order to glorify God.

    2. Laughhopethrive,

      Amazing how a snake in the house could offer a wife a whole new perspective! I think it was a blessing. God is amazing.

      Thank you very much for sharing!


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