I would not have described myself as “un-peaceful” years ago as a wife. But, as I reflect on my heart and approach over nine years ago, I only had fleeting moments and flickers of peace. Peace seemed to last only a few minutes – or sometimes – only a few seconds. I really hadn’t ever experienced a continual stream of peace before. I didn’t even realize that was possible.
I was a Christian. I received Christ at the age of five. I thought I was a strong Christian woman, wife, and mom. I went to church multiple times per week and read my Bible every day. I prayed constantly. I only listened to Christian music. I could quote tons of Bible verses. I wanted so much to impact the world for the Lord and to be a light to those around me. I wanted to be the best possible wife and woman.
Sadly, the fruit of my life did not reflect my intentions or the fruit of the Spirit. I really didn’t understand what was wrong or how to fix it.
Let’s do a bit of a self-evaluation together and see how you are doing with being a Peaceful Wife:
- Do you ever feel like you have to take charge in your marriage because your husband can’t or won’t lead?
- Do you ever find yourself feeling or acting impatient with your husband?
- Do you feel like you have to be the “adult” in the marriage?
- Do you notice your mind racing with worry and all of the possible “what-if” scenarios that could happen in the near and distant future for your marriage?
- Do you find yourself upset because your husband is not making you happy and is not the man you want him to be?
- Do you tend to feel like you are really the only one who knows what is truly best for your marriage and that if things don’t go the way you believe they should, everything will be a disaster?
- Do you sometimes grapple with holding onto grudges, unforgiveness, or bitterness against your husband?
- Do you feel like if only you had a better husband, or better circumstances in your marriage, you would finally be able to feel real peace and happiness?
- Does your husband feel disrespected, controlled, mothered, or smothered by you sometimes?
- Does your husband not seem to appreciate all of your helpful suggestions and shut down or get angry when you give him advice?
How did you do?
If you answered, “yes,” to any of the above questions, you are not alone. In my experience, a lot of wives struggle with a lot of these same issues. I know when I began my journey, I was filled with anxiety, worry, doubt, fear, bitterness, resentment, loneliness, and discontentment.
Being a Peaceful Wife doesn’t come naturally. But if you are looking for peace as a wife – and as a woman – you have come to the right place! Be encouraged. Help is on the way! I have such great news to share:
All of us have an invitation to live a life of constant peace.
Real peace begins when we allow the Prince of Peace to sit firmly on the throne of our hearts and lives.
I have personally been on this journey for over nine years now. And no, I am not the perfect woman, wife, or mom. But I am not who I was. I am not where I was emotionally and spiritually years ago. God is changing me. Growing me. Transforming me to be more and more like Jesus. Not by my heroic efforts or human wisdom, but by the power of His Spirit and His Word.
That is what I long for every wife, and woman, to find.
I’d like to invite you to check out the resources I have for you here:
Weekly blog posts to encourage wives on their journey. You are welcome to subscribe via email to receive a new post in your inbox to nourish your soul each week.
A Peaceful Wife Blog Facebook page with extra encouragement.
Videos and skits for wives on my Youtube channel, April Cassidy.
Note – My book is most relatable to wives who tend to be “Type A,” driven, perfectionists, and “fixer” type personalities. If you are in a marriage where you tend to be shut down and your husband tends to be more controlling, angry and/or emotionally/verbally abusive, or you just need some extra help growing spiritually in your marriage, please check out this resource – Nina Roesner’s eCourse “Becoming a Woman of Strength and Dignity.”