Strong marriages seem to happen magically on movies and in romantic novels sometimes. But the truth is that strong marriages are built.
There are very specific building blocks that are required to develop strong, healthy marriages. These are things that any of us can do – if we are in Christ and we are working in His power.
There are specific things that create healthy marriages and relationships and there are specific things that destroy healthy marriages and relationships.
We can’t control our spouse, but we do get to control our end of things – with God’s help.
STRONG MARRIAGES: DESTROYERS
- Negativity, focusing only on the bad
- Acting like a prosecuting attorney
- Biting sarcasm
- Looking outside of the marriage for fulfillment – porn, emotional affairs, physical affairs
- Codependency/being enmeshed
- Idolatry of the other person, self, happiness, or marriage, neediness, clinginess
- Shutting down/passivity
- Believing lies about God, others, or ourselves
- Fear, worry
- Neglect, not having enough time together
- Sinful jealousy
- Secret keeping
- Developing friends of the opposite sex to confide in
- Comparing our marriage/spouse to others
- Unbiblical/unrealistic expectations
- Selfishness/selfish ambition
- Assuming the worst
- Quick temper
- Abuse – rage, violence
STRONG MARRIAGES: BUILDERS
- Gratitude for the good in our spouse, thanksgiving
- Using our words to speak Life
- Focusing on the Philippians 4:8 things about our spouse, our marriage, and life
- Genuine humility
- Vulnerability and honesty
- Serving in love with selflessness
- Spending time together, enjoying each other
- Contentment and joy in Christ
- Submission to the Lordship of Jesus
- Handling conflict biblically without fear and without domination
- Faith and trust in each other whenever possible
- Prayer for the other to be blessed
- Laying down expectations
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 kind of love
- Seeking to rebuild damaged/lost trust
- Assuming the best
- Respect/honor for God, our spouse, and ourselves (Thinking and acting rightly about these things – in line with God’s Word)
- Guarding our hearts
- Laughing together
- Dreaming together
- Being a safe place for each other emotionally, physically, and in every way.
- Creating time and space for intimacy on every level.
This week, in your quiet time, invite God to show you the marriage destroyers in your life. Begin to get rid of them all. And invite God to help you begin to practice some marriage builders.
Your marriage, your husband, your children, the Lord, and even you, yourself, will be greatly blessed as you become more and more the woman of God He calls you to be.
If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus as your Savior and Lord – that is your first need. Then He can give you the power to do the marriage/relationship building things.