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Strong Marriages Do Not Happen By Accident

Strong marriages seem to happen magically on movies and in romantic novels sometimes. But the truth is that strong marriages are built. There are very specific building blocks that are required to develop strong, healthy marriages. These are things that any of us can do – if we are in Christ and we are working in His power. There are specific things that create healthy marriages and relationships and there are specific things that destroy healthy marriages and relationships. We can’t control our spouse, but we do get to control our end of things – with God’s help.

MARRIAGE DESTROYERS:

 

MARRIAGE BUILDERS

 

This week, in your quiet time, invite God to show you the marriage destroyers in your life. Begin to get rid of them all. And invite God to help you begin to practice some marriage builders. Your marriage, your husband, your children, the Lord, and even you, yourself, will be greatly blessed as you become more and more the woman of God He calls you to be.

Much love!

If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus as your Savior and Lord – that is your first need. Then He can give you the power to do the marriage/relationship building things.

31 thoughts on “Strong Marriages Do Not Happen By Accident

  1. April, our marriage in Christ is indeed built brick by brick as is our life in Christ! And how easy it is to misplace just one and for the whole building to come tumbling down! Thank you and bless you for never failing to provide incredible resources for women who truly desire to serve the Lord.

    Much love from Hope, currently clearing up rubble!

  2. I love reading your blog posts. I know this wasn’t covered in today’s blog, and I know you dress very modestly and i am starting to do so as well by wearing skirts and dresses only. I have a question for you, do you feel that it is always important to wear a slip under your skirt or dress? My husband is insisting that I do so even under denim skirts which I think is ridiculous.

    1. Jamie,

      I always wear a slip for the sake of modesty under skirts/dresses. With denim skirts, a slip can be helpful to prevent the slip from sticking to your legs as you walk. So it is more to keep your skirt from clinging to your form as you walk than to prevent light from coming through the skirt.

      1. I will say that submission can be very challenging at times however it is possible if we seek the Lords Guidence. This is a great blog!!

        Jamie, personally I am like April I always wear a slip because I would rather be “overlayered” then not be enough (plus my husband loves to see me wear them hehe). I wear both full and half slips depending on the outfit that I am wearing. I don’t wear the “slip extenders”, because personally I feel that is immodest because to me it is supposed to be hidden. To each her own though!

        I personally also feel, because of my convictions on my life, that you should always wear pantyhose in public as well. Again that is my personal belief. I also always wear a slip under a denim skirt, often times out of habit but April is correct it can help the skirt from sticking to your leg.

        April I have a question for you, how do you feel about wearing Spanx and girdles? Some people think that this is unnecessary and unmodest because it is giving the illusion that you body is shaped a certain way and you are trying to become more “lustful”. Just curious as to what you think about it.

        Anyways, I hope this helps. I would love to see April do a blog post on fashion and undergarments. I think it could definatley help some of our younger sisters in the Lord.

        With Love,
        Ela

        1. Ela Maria,

          It’s great to hear from you. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your insights.

          I think that the motives with wearing Spanx or girdles are what matters most. This is a matter of personal convictions, which is a topic that is addressed in Romans 14.

          I actually used to have a number of posts about my personal convictions. They were, by far, the most popular posts on my blog and Youtube channel. Then, about 2 years ago or so, I was reading through Romans 14. And God convicted me. These issues of personal conviction are to be private matters – between the Lord and us. Or, for married women, between our husbands, the Lord, and ourselves.

          The personal conviction issues were the cause of so much contention on my blog. So much arguing.

          I decided to honor the Lord by keeping my personal convictions private and taking down all of those posts and videos, even though it meant that I got tens of thousands less hits on my site per month.

          I don’t want to create a stumbling block for a weaker sister. I don’t want to create division or contention.

          So, I talk about modest clothing and modest behavior – because those things are biblical principals. But the practical details that are not spelled out in scripture, I leave to each woman to decide for herself how to honor the Lord in her life and marriage. And, of course, if her husband has insight and wisdom to share, or strong feelings or convictions, she can choose to honor his ideas, as well, if they are in line with God’s Word.

          Much love!

          1. I see all of this random slip talk and was just wondering what your thoughts are. I have a white and Black half slip and one white full slip. I also wear them everyday as well. They are extremely hard to find, which is your favorite April, and where do you recommend finding them at? Also, do you wear pants when you are at home when no one else is there? I feel convicted to still wear a skirt unless it is just me and Hubby.

            1. Hali J,

              I had gotten some long slips about 8-9 years ago that work great with my ankle length skirts. But I haven’t seen any in the stores lately. Seems like the only kind you can find now are the ones that go to above the knee. I’m sure there must be some online, still.

              You are certainly welcome to wear whatever you feel convicted to wear. <3

              I usually wear skirts myself most of the time. Except sometimes for when I go running or at home with just my family. Then I sometimes wear long pants - cotton/stretchy running kind of pants.

              Much love!

  3. Thank you April this is the kind of information that i wish i had when i was getting married but Glory be to God its not too late he has redeemed me and made me know the stuff that i need to stop doing to build a strong marriage. I can say knowing and finding christ has given me so much peace and contentment. I thank God for choosing me first to bring healing to my marriage.

  4. After seeking God’s wisdom regarding my marriage, He has shown me some surprising things about myself. Then a few days ago I “happened” upon your blog. It is amazing! Your husband sounds like my husband and I am you when you began this journey. Please pray for me…. I have a lot of work to do.

    1. Nana,

      I’m so glad to hear from you! And I can relate to being surprised by what the Lord showed you. I sure was surprised when He showed me what He did 9 years ago!

      Lord,
      I thank You for Your love for Nana and her husband. Thank You for bringing her to this point on her journey to follow Christ. I pray that You might continue to open her eyes and show her all of the things You want to show her. Heal her heart. Transform her mind. Restore her soul. Help her have Your power to live as a godly, peaceful wife and woman for Your glory. Heal her marriage. Bless her faith and help her grow like crazy!
      Amen!

  5. My sister in the Lord,

    It has been a long time since I have been able to sit down and read many of the blogs that I enjoy reading. This particular post came two days after my father’s passing and on my Mom’s 80th birthday. This has been hard season. I am only blessed by the fact that I can lean ever more into Our Lord and Saviour, for he knows what pain and suffering is.

    I open my heart to You Lord Jesus Christ,
    You, who have borne the burdens of all our miseries,
    We cry out when some struggles befall us,
    You listen and bring us bleating
    Into the fold.
    There we, as sheep gain strength from the voice of the Good Shepherd!!!

    It is in this kind of season, when we realize that we have a strong marriage (or not). I must say that I am learning that my wife, is loving and kind, she has been full of grace. I have been doing my best to show Godly leadership, which includes tenderness and love for my Mom and wife, living by the knowledge that I know that my father is definitely in a better place.

    Please pray for my family, especially my Mom as she navigates her way through this new life, Let her lean ever more into the Peace of God that is beyond our understanding.

    JesusCentreofLife

    1. jesuscentreoflife,

      Oh goodness, I am so sorry to hear about your father’s passing. I’m sure that it has been tough on you and your mom and the whole family. I’m so glad you are looking to Jesus. He has healing for us in times of grief that we all need so desperately.

      I’m so thankful to hear that your wife has been such a support and blessing in this time of trial. Praise God!

      Much love in Christ to you and your family.

      1. Thank you sister,

        My wife is changing and I am changing towards her. I am also seeing her differently as walk deeper with the Lord! Praise the Lord indeed!

        She still is finding the Church of Christ to be a failed experiment.

        It is those failures and the realization of them that will bring us to the Glory of God. There is indeed too much of the world in the Church but we must carry on, tearing down the idols in our hearts! And that we can only do with Our Lord!

        Please continue to pray for her, me and my family,
        Many thanks,
        Jesuscentreoflife

  6. I call out to the LORD, my God in my pain,
    I am incapable to move this
    Weeping stone from off my heart.

    You are the only Being,
    Who can rescue me from this pain.
    For I see no order in this hurt,
    You alone can fathom and ease it.

    This is Your world and universe,
    You bring things into being,
    There strength grows through your nourishment,
    It is not Your desire that we grow weak and frail,
    It is the frailty within us.

    Pour into me Your Holy balm, Holy Spirit,
    That I be cleansed,
    And that my path may be illuminated.
    I ask you to strengthen me.

    You are with me always,
    You know me and come to me,
    With the balm of Good News.

    Praise God for his Holy Works,
    His Son shall reign forever,
    He is my Brother, who holds my hand,
    as He walks with me.
    Hallelujah, Hallelujah!

    Amen!

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