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Let’s Talk about Sex!

Photo by Rhema Kallianpur on Unsplash

Ladies,

If you have general questions about sexual intimacy and marriage that you would like to see me write about in a post, I’d love to hear from you. Especially if it is a topic I have not covered in the past. You may leave a comment here in the comment section, or you may leave your question on my Contact page if you would prefer to be more anonymous.

I’d like to keep discussions G-rated, wholesome, holy, and honoring to the Lord. And this will be a ladies-only conversation. Thanks for understanding!

Lord,

I thank You for creating men, women, marriage, and sex. Thank You for Your good design. I pray for Your healing for the sex lives of my readers – so that their marriages might be vibrant, healthy, and most of all, that Your Name might be greatly glorified in their lives. Thank You for the marriage gift of sexual intimacy. Thank You for the picture the one flesh relationship is of the one Spirit relationship Jesus has with the church. Help us to honor our marriage beds and to please give us the tools we need to promote strong healthy sex lives in our marriages.

Amen!

I have a number of resources about sex in marriage and related issues that you are welcome to check out:

ATTRACTION

BODY IMAGE

BOUNDARIES ABOUT SEX IN MARRIAGE

A HUSBAND WANTS MORE SEX THAN HIS WIFE DOES

A WIFE WANTS MORE SEX THAN HER HUSBAND DOES

A WIFE WANTS MORE CONNECTION

DEALING WITH DESTRUCTIVE JEALOUSY

 

Also – if you are interested in seeing more material from me, check out my:

One thought on “Let’s Talk about Sex!

  1. To All, hurting or otherwise,

    I feel led to share some things from all ends of the spectrum on this issue. I’ve been the one who felt constantly rejected. I’ve been the one to feel like I’d rather do anything other than have sex with my husband at particular moments. I’ve also been to a point where the marriage is totally great, God is first in our lives, and we both tend to not really pay that much attention to sex, and neither of us is lacking, or wanting, or being rejected even though we are not really pursuing it from each other.

    In the beginning of the journey here, I was super rejected because of all the disrespect. My husband flat out told me he was not attracted to me because of it. It made him NOT want to have sex with me or even be around me. But that only made me MORE upset and more disrespectful. When I felt this way, and had what seems to me now like out of control sexual desire for my husband, it was all because my heart and mind was focused on MYSELF and getting what I wanted from my husband that he was not giving me. I was absolutely relying on how much he had sex with me to feel loved.

    The Lord, in His love and wisdom, would never allow me to find in that what I desired because He had something much better for me than that!

    And like so many women, I had to learn to let go of what I wanted, and see things from God’s perspective, and realize my own sin, and let go of it, and go a different way, the way of respect and denying myself in this way. And the Lord in His love let me experience HIS LOVE in place of the false love I so desired in this other thing, and I was set free from seeking in sex or my husband what could only be found in the Lord!

    On the other end, there have been times/seasons when I was so close to the Lord and my husband was far from Him, and not treating me the greatest, but that is when my husband MOST pursued me, when I was NOT interested in it! But I did not reject him and would always get warmed up to him in that time, but nevertheless, I was not desiring it at all. It is because I had something in the Lord that made me not want anything else to fill me up. I was being satisfied by the Lord’s love, and needed nothing else to satisfy me!

    And then a more current situation where my husband and I have both found the Lord to be the most important to us, and it seems as though our sexual desires are no longer out of control or imbalanced. We can live together and be happy without feeling like we need to constantly have sex. Plus, after a while, it gets old and its almost better to wait longer so that it is actually more enjoyable it seems.

    All in all, I truly believe that when we have our heart set on sex, or anything else for that matter, other than the Lord, we will find that we can not acquire it if we belong to Jesus Christ. He will thwart us, even though sex. marriage, godly families, etc. are all GOOD things, if they are our ULTIMATE thing, and Jesus Christ is NOT, He will have to thwart us from attaining it so that we will be content with Christ alone!

    Of course, it isn’t wrong to desire our husband sexually, and if they are never interested, that would be a major issue, I would say. And if we have truly let it go, and set our heart on Christ, and have come to a place where we can be content WITH or WITHOUT sex even — then the Lord may have other plans and perhaps it is just one of those things in life that we don’t fully understand.

    I feel like if we can come to a place where sexual desires are under control completely, that is actually a mark of maturity. When we are carnal, that is when our sexual desires are out of control and imbalanced it seems. But when we are living by the Spirit, we have self-control, even in this area. Life is more than sex with our husbands. Anyone who has tasted and seen that the Lord is good knows that.

    Sex becomes a gift or blessing rather than the end all of life when the Lord is in His rightful place in our hearts!

    I pray for any hurting wife that she may find that balance and wait upon the Lord to work in her husband’s heart and life, and seek the grace to accept whatever the Lord is pleased to give in this hard situation!

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