We are sometimes so busy, it can be easy to get caught up in lots of other things and to forget to really enjoy the moment with our husbands, our children, the Lord, and other people we love. *
If we are not conscientious about enjoying our men, we can completely miss the best parts of our marriages. That can stop right now!
Here are some suggestions for ways we can slow down and savor our men:
- Smile brightly when you see him and when you come into the room or he comes in. Your smile is likely one of your husband’s favorite things in this world. When he sees you are happy to see him, he is energized.
- Welcome him home warmly. This is a surprisingly powerful habit to develop. Your attitude and demeanor when you see your husband after work speak volumes to him and set the stage for a lovely time together.
- If you are too busy to be able to spend time with your husband and to relax with him, pray about what you might need to take off of your plate. Maybe even talk with him about that, respectfully, too. There is no way to build a relationship without time.
- Accept and appreciate him, his masculinity, and his personality rather than trying to change him. It is a good thing that he thinks, acts, and processes things differently than you do. Different doesn’t necessarily mean he is wrong. If you learn to appreciate your differences, you may find it is the ways in which you are different from each other that attract you to him the most.
- Remember that men tend to connect and bond by just being together or doing things together, not usually with face-to-face conversations or words. Some ideas to suggest (but no pressure!):
- Sit together on the porch or deck.
- Take a bath together.
- Take a walk together.
- Sit with him in a friendly way while he watches TV without expectation of conversation sometimes.
- Go with him on an errand and have fun if he invites you to come.
- Sit near him while he works on a project, just being open if he wants to talk, and enjoying his company.
- Appreciate and respond positively to the good things in his sense of humor.
- Mentally think about all of the things about your man that you genuinely respect and admire. Maybe even start a list and add to it throughout each day. Challenge yourself – how many things can you think of? What you focus on will grow.
- Remember that life is short – sometimes much shorter than we expect. The everyday moments we have together are priceless. Let little annoyances go and be willing to give grace.
- Avoid negativity, a critical spirit, complaining, resentment, and arguing. These things destroy intimacy and relationships. They make it impossible for you and your husband to enjoy each other. Not worth it!
- Participate with him in his hobbies sometimes if he would like that.
- Tell him and show him (with your voice, expressions, and attitude) that you genuinely enjoy being with him.
- Focus on the moment and savoring your relationship rather than allowing your mind to drift to distracting thoughts.
- Enjoy his sexual desire for you, if he still has it. His libido and desire for you is something very precious to cherish.
- Receive anything good he does for you as a gift – whether it is a compliment, an act of service, his presence with you, his time, his help with chores (even if it is not exactly the way you would do it), his parenting, his style of leadership, his affection, his attention, his leadership, his wisdom, his way of showing love, etc…
- Be receptive to things he might like to do together or as a family and seek to be flexible, cooperative, content, and adventurous.
- Laugh a lot together and have fun! Remember how you used to do that? You still can! Laughing together and sharing humor is very bonding and great for your marriage.
- Be sure to have some time when you are with him where you are not on your phone or tablet but you are able to give him all of your attention.
- If possible, go to bed at the same time he does. Maybe deep discussions could be off-limits at that point. This should be a time just to enjoy each other and have harmony and peaceful connection. If you are on different shifts, at least try to spend 10-30 minutes in bed together – preferably touching each other in some way – each day. Cuddle and relax. Be open to intimacy.
- Eat together once a day, if possible, and seek to create a warm, pleasant, peaceful, inviting atmosphere. As a wife, you have an incredible amount of influence on the emotional temperature of the home.
- See him and treat him as a friend and teammate, not as an enemy. Be his greatest fan.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Phil. 4:8
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Col 3:17
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thess. 5:18
We thank You for our husbands and marriages. Your design for marriage is very good. Help us to focus on the praise worthy things about our husbands. Help us to cultivate spirits of thanksgiving and eyes to see the best in our men. Help us love them with your love and treat them with honor because we love and reverence You.
Empower us, by Your Spirit, to enjoy our husbands, to be trusted friends to them, and to bless them richly. Help us to enjoy our marriage covenants and the sexual aspect of our marriages. Help us to remember how blessed we are to be married to our men.
Transform our hearts and minds to be more like Jesus. Let the fruit of Your Spirit pour through our lives – Your supernatural love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. Let us be the women You call us to be. Let us enjoy and rest in You – Your unfailing love, goodness, and sovereignty – above all.
What are some ways you have learned to enjoy your husband?
What obstacles exist in your life that make it hard to enjoy your husband?
Which of the tips today do you want to try this week and why?
The Smile Challenge – 5 minute video
The Tone of Voice Challenge – 5 minute video
My Welcome Home Plan – 2.5 minute video
For Wives Who Wish Their Husbands Desired More Sex
- When You Feel Deprived in Your Marriage
- The Devastation of Sexual Rejection in Marriage
- When Your Husband Rejects You
- Dealing with a VERY Delicate and Sensitive Issue with Respect – a Husband’s Impotence
- Are Particular Sexual Activities Wrong in Marriage?
For Wives Who Feel Their Husbands Want Too Much Sex
- Book Review – Unlock Your Libido
- I Feel Like I’m Just a Piece of Meat to My Husband Sometimes
- Initiating Sex More Often
NOTE – this post is not written for specifically for wives in abusive situations, or where there are extreme unrepentant sin issues, active addictions to drugs/alcohol, or uncontrolled severe mental health issues. If you have very serious issues in your marriage, please seek private, experienced, godly, trusted counsel one-on-one.