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Is It Possible to “Disrespect Myself”?


God’s design for us as godly women is that we are first to have utmost reverence for Him as LORD of our lives and as the sovereign King of the universe. We are also to respect ourselves, our husbands, and all other people. Another way of describing “respecting ourselves” that may be even more accurate is “to think rightly about ourselves” or to “live in holiness in regard to how we think about and treat ourselves.” Disrespect is really another word for “sin” in a lot of ways. If I disrespect myself or someone else, my motives, thinking, attitudes, words and/or actions toward that person are hurtful and destructive.

Of course, ultimately, any sin is against God. God calls all believers to be willing to put off our old sinful selves which includes all of our sinful motives, mindsets, and fixed beliefs about God, ourselves, others, and anything else in life. We put on Christ by deciding to completely trust and follow Him. We then cooperate with God to allow Him to transform our hearts, minds, and souls by the power and truth of His Word through His Spirit working in us.

When we receive more and more of God’s truth and goodness and all that Christ has done for us and has provided for us, we then have the ability to think of ourselves the way God desires us to. We also, then, have the ability – when we have received the mercy, grace, love, truth, and healing of Jesus – to begin to extend those things to other people. The second greatest commandment is this, “love your neighbor as yourself.” God assumes that we will properly love ourselves. He does not condone sinning against ourselves. For a refresher on God’s kind of love that we are to have for ourselves and others, please check out 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

A hallmark of God’s love is that believers are to treat all other people with dignity and worth – not because we deem that person to be worthy of being treated well – but because Jesus is worthy of all of our respect and reverence and because God made all people in His image.

Nina Roesner, author of “The Respect Dare,” has a wonderful new post that I think will be such a blessing to you. She describes some of the obstacles women face on their journey to become godly women and then she lists some of the biggest ways she has seen women sin against or “disrespect” themselves. I invite you to check out her post and then I want to share a few more thoughts. 🙂

used with permission by Nina Rosner from

used with permission by Nina Roesner from

Nina Roesner’s post “Top 10 Ways to Disrespect Yourself”

We have talked about so many of these issues here:

Some other ways we can disrespect (or sin against) ourselves and prevent ourselves from experiencing all of the abundant life Jesus has in store for us would include things like:


If you don’t know Jesus as your Savior and LORD and you would like to know Him and to receive the gift of Life He died to provide for you, please click on this link and leave a comment for me. He can give us victory over the ways we poison ourselves. He can give us power to live godly lives that please Him and to think of God, ourselves, and others rightly as we reject toxic lies and purposely build our lives on His Word that is the source of all truth.

Much love to each of you!


Can you think of other ways we may disrespect ourselves? Or is there something here that doesn’t sound right? Let’s talk about it together!


Women, Trade Self-Worth for Awe and Wonder


14 thoughts on “Is It Possible to “Disrespect Myself”?

  1. Excellent comprehensive list . I’m still working on improving a few of those areas. We are so lucky to have the Holy Spirit to guide us and to have wonderful and mature sisters in Christ like yourself. 🙂

    1. Lisa T,

      Yes, so thankful for the Holy Spirit, the Bible, and for the body of Christ that we might edify and build each other up. So glad this was a blessing. I pray it will spur you on toward even more healing and wholeness in Christ!

      Much love!

  2. this is so great to understand. well i wont say i fully understand but it’s good to know and hope and pray to understand. My family and especially the women in my family have always talked so terribly about themselves. it was almost like the correct thing to do. If you didnt talk negatively about yourself “im so fat, im ugly etc” then there was something wrong with you. Of course taking that from a young girl to young woman into adult hood has been a struggle, my husband can barely bear it to hear me say these things. He’s even resorted to saying to me “Don’t talk about my wife that way” It has made me unable to take a compliment without first saying stop, no, yeah right, ew. It has really effected me and my life and i believe caused me to have a terrible self image rather than see myself as a child of God.
    MOTHERS GRANDMOTHERS & AUNTS of little girls, PLEASE I beg you, do not talk about yourself or other women that way in front of your children!
    This is one thing i hope I can get a good grasp on and NEVER say around my daughter if I have one!

    Thanks for this post! <3

    1. learning wife,

      You know what? Sadly, I don’t think your family was unusual. It seems like in many families the women bash themselves and that is expected. 🙁 I’m so glad that your husband defends you against your own words and asks you to treat his wife with respect. I do that with my children. If they say something terrible about themselves, I will say, “You may NOT speak about my child that way.” And I also work with them to identify lies and learn to take their thoughts captive.

      It is critical that we recognize each lie we have believed – shoot it down – and then replace it with the truth of God’s Word. That is how we allow Him to transform our hearts and minds in Christ. 🙂

      I actually have a post about this very thing (well, several – women can search “body image” on my home page) but here is a great place to start.

      I have a daughter who will be 10 tomorrow. I want to be so careful not to model a negative example of body image for her. I don’t brag about my body or idolize it. But I don’t complain about my body. I want to demonstrate a grateful attitude and be a good steward of this precious gift of a body and a life.

      Much love!

      1. yes! So true, and i hope to be able to do the same one day. Thank you for the example of a Godly woman and wife you are April!

        1. Learning Wife,

          Oh goodness, I have to give all the credit for anything good in me to God alone.

          So thankful we can walk this road together and for the blessing of the body of Christ!

    2. Hi Learning Wife,
      I have feedback that may actually help you to view the things that you cited from a new angle. When I got saved years ago the Lord led me to a teaching that was extremely valuable to me and changed the way view SO MANY things. It’s actually an online video series by Andrew Wommack called “#1/5 – Self Centeredness, The Root Of All Grief – Andrew Wommack – 2008/09”. I don’t agree with Andrews views on certain Theology but this particular teaching series was absolutely amazing. He teaches how some things that actually appear to be low self esteem, humility or a devaluing of self are actually deeply rooted issues of self centeredness and pride in disguise. And once you view this series you will absolutely feel embarrassed to talk badly about yourself in front of others. It’s life changing and it’s very empowering. I really hope that you will at least consider watching because it’s truly such a gift. He points out that anytime we are overly focused on ourselves…be it our positive attributes or our negative ones, that it’s always a reflection of self centeredness. I think that ever single Christian would benefit from watching this series . I hope it blesses you Sister. Just enter the title into Google if the link doesn’t work. 🙂

      1. Lisa T,

        Hmm.. that sounds interesting. Thank you for sharing! I will have to try to check it out, too.

        Note – I am not familiar with this pastor or his teaching. So everyone please, as always, compare anything any teacher says to the Bible!

        1. Thanks for your open mindedness to consider it PeacefulWife. It’s one of those great teachings where he illustrates so many examples that we might never consider on our own. We, as women, are particularly vulnerable to certain attitudes and behaviors because of generations of conditioning. I love how the Lord gently reveals these lessons to us. I’m currently reading “Purity of Heart is to Will One Thing” and I dread each page because the author has a way of effecting the reader’s conscience in ways which require large degrees of personal responsibility . I told my husband that I fear the illumination of that type of reading because there’s an implied mandate that comes along with those gifts. Gosh… there are just so many things we have to learn and internalize on the road to maturity? Christianity seems like walking the distance of the Great wall of China sometimes . But we are so privileged because we have the Holy Spirit to guide us and make the pilgrims journey wonder filled 🙂 Cheers!

          1. Lisa T,

            Purity of Heart Is to Will One Thing sounds pretty intense! It is good that you realize the implications of knowing more like this. That is a very good indication that God is working powerfully in your heart to have an attitude like that. It is a very long “hike,” isn’t it? For thousands and thousands of miles, it seems like. There is always more to learn and absorb. We never “arrive” while we are here. But what a gift to get to learn and receive these treasures and to be able to walk in greater power of the Spirit and greater obedience as God opens our hearts and minds to Him.

            Much love!

  3. Who knew that this is what it would be like when we started this Christian journey . LOL

    “The Great Wall of China – UAV Aerial Footage” Youtube

  4. Hello April! I just want to say “Thank you” for all the things you shared through your posts and your videos. I had been through several trying moments this year but God used His Word and people like you to keep me going. Praying that more women will be blessed by your ministry. Thank you so much!

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