If anyone has some Valentine’s Day disappointment you would like to hash through together with me, let me know. We can talk about it. Also, please check out Valentine’s Day Expectations.
My book, The Peaceful Wife – Living in Submission to Christ As Lord, is on sale on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Google Play (the Kindle version) for $1.99 through next Monday! Please check it out, and do an honest review if you get a chance. That would be awesome!
Every husband has his own list. What matters most is not this particular list, but what most speaks honor and real respect to your particular husband. 🙂
25 WAYS TO RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND
- Be sure to have your time with God in His Word and in prayer daily. It is impossible to be a godly wife and to honor our husbands from the heart if we are spiritually starving.
- Care about his feelings, words, and opinions the way you would like him to care about yours.
- Treat him like a grown adult and a person of equal worth in the eyes of God.
- Approach him with humility realizing that his perspective and wisdom have worth just like yours do.
- If he has a higher drive sexually, seek to be joyfully available to him and to enjoy him whenever you can. If he has a lower drive sexually, seek to extend grace, patience, understanding, and selflessness to him rather than pressuring him or condemning him.
- Don’t interrupt him whenever possible.
- Treat him well especially in front of others. This includes social media.
- Bless him with that radiant smile of yours that lights up the room just because you love him when you see him after work (and lots of other times, too).
- When he mentions something that is important to him, try to put that high up on your to-do list.
- Communicate directly, concisely, and in a straightforward way rather than giving hints and expecting him to read your mind.
- Share your concerns, ideas, wisdom, perspective, and feelings calmly, with a pleasant tone of voice whenever appropriate, using good manners.
- Use a friendly tone of voice and facial expressions as a general habit.
- Focus on his strengths and the good things you see in him.
- Appreciate the ways he shows you love and tries to make your life better even if there are other ways you would like him to show love to you.
- Honor his parenting and seek to support his decisions as much as possible. If you disagree, share that respectfully and humbly in private. (If he is sinning against your children, you may need to confront him)
- Speak highly of his family.
- Do things that you enjoy for yourself.
- Give him time to process difficult emotions and tough decisions without pressuring him to talk if he is not ready.
- Keep vulnerable and sensitive information confidential (unless there are severe problems and you are speaking to a counselor/appropriate mentor/the police).
- Be flexible and able to roll with changes and challenges that inevitably come up in life. Your stress level greatly impacts everyone in the family, including your husband. When you are stressed, he is much more stressed. If you are able to have an adventurous, joyful, calm spirit, everyone else will weather trials more easily, too.
- Believe in him.
- Don’t compare him to other men, even in your heart.
- Accept him and let him know you appreciate the man he is and that you are not trying to change him. He is not your “project.”
- Receive compliments, love, acts of service, and gifts from him graciously.
- Relax with him and be his friend.
It is so critical that before we attempt to honor our husbands, we put God way above our husbands in our hearts so that we are filled to overflowing with Christ. Then we approach the marriage from a position of spiritual and emotional abundance. We find our security and identity in Christ. We are already fulfilled and content in Jesus. Only He can meet the deepest needs of our hearts, minds, and souls – no human can do that. When we understand that our husbands can’t be God to us, and that they are mere mortals just like we are, we can see them as fellow travelers rather than having expectations of them and of marriage that are unrealistic.
We can take responsibility for our own spiritual well-being in God and our own emotions. We can be sure we are treating God and ourselves with respect. We can be filled up with God’s Spirit, spilling over with His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Then we are ready to learn to respect our husbands.
(Wives would appreciate many of these things, as well – and wives each have their own list of things that feel loving to them, too. Everyone appreciates being treated with honor, godly love, and respect.)
(If a husband is involved in unrepentant sin, a wife does have a responsibility to respectfully confront him in many situations.)
If you would like to share the things you have learned that your husband appreciates most we’d love for you to share!
If you would like to share the things that most speak respect and honor to you as a husband, you are welcome to share.