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The Smiling Challenge – 5 Minute VIDEO

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I would like to issue you a little challenge this week, my friends!

Whenever you go in the room where your husband is –

please smile at him.

  • Not to change him.
  • Not to get any specific results from him.
  • Just to bless him.

Stay close to God. Be in His Word daily. Lay your life fully before Jesus and give yourself 100% to Him as The Lord of Your Life. Let His joy flood your soul as you seek to obey Him and please Him and as you are overcome with gratitude for all He has done for you.

Let that joy shine and radiate from your face. πŸ™‚

Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, REJOICE! Philippians 4:4

Focus on the Philippians 4:8 things in your life:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirableβ€”if anything is excellent or praiseworthyβ€”think about such things.

Bless your husband Β with some REAL smiles this week. You know the kind of smile that lights up your eyes and your entire face. Yep. That’s the one I am talking about!

You probably have NO IDEA the power your smile has over that man. When you are genuinely happy (or better yet, joyful in Christ)  – he feels like more of a success as a man and as a husband. Your smile draws him to you. It is PLEASANT to be around someone who is smiling and welcoming.

Bless your children with some real smiles, too! They will thrive when they see you radiating love and joy.

Let me know how you do! πŸ™‚

62 thoughts on “The Smiling Challenge – 5 Minute VIDEO

  1. I love this, April!
    I once asked my husband to share with me one thing I could do better that would please him. My husband usually takes a while to respond to questions like this one or else he dodges an answer with something like “You do everything fine.” But THIS time, he looked right at me and replied, “Smile. Your smile is all I need.”
    Now I smile every time me enters the room and greet him from work with smiles and hugs. I smile up at him frequently when we are out and about in public. He responds so positively to my happy relaxed countenance. Accept the smile dare, ladies! It’s so easy and rewarding.

    1. Hi April-Thank you for this challenge. I am going to try this- your video has confirmed some valid points for me. my husband of 27yrs-may 28th!!(same as your anniversary) has always said that the first thing that attracted him to me was my smile and what you said in your video about “that smile” we have that lights up our face- I have smiled at my husband genuinely and watched his face light up as he smiles back at me-what a look of love! I realize I have been too consumed with “stuff” that its been a while since I smiled at my dear husband and young adult children.Thank you Thank you- I will let you know how this week goes. I thank Jesus for you and what He is enabling you to do . blessings to you!

      1. fam6,

        Aw! I love this! It makes me smile to read about your husband’s response when you smile like that. SO PRECIOUS!!!! I can’t wait to hear back from you about this week. Praying for you, my sweet sister!

        1. Hi April- Another comment for the Smiling challenge!! Last night the door bell rang-it was my husband coming home from work with a beautiful yellow glad flower and fresh rhubarb in his hands ! he picked them up on his way home from a country stand. ( I really wanted some fresh rhubarb for baking)he has done this before but after I answered the door and smiled from my heart and gave him a huge hug and tons of kisses, and told him how happy he makes me( I have not been telling him this until reading your blog about how much it means to our husbands that they make us happy) so true!!!!. he said later out of the blue” I love so much to see my wife smile-it blesses my heart”. I know how hard it is to smile when I dont get the affirmation or have nothing to smile about-but I am learning to use the beautiful smile that God has put in my heart to bring His love to those I love. I am doing it in baby steps to make sure it is real from my heart. Thanks April for letting me share this.

  2. I totally agree that a smile is a very important thing! I am the kind of person who is very focused and sometimes when I am really concentrating on something in my head, for some reason, I look like I am mad or upset. When my children were young, they would ask me why was wrong! My husband was constantly saying to me, “smile, Babe!” I really didn’t understand what everyne was talking about, so I decided to look in the mirror one day when I was deep in thought…..yuck! I looked horrid! I really did look mad…and very unhappy! :(. I realized I needed to change that! My husband started helping me with this by saying, “smile!” when he would see me with that icky frown on my face. I started to intentionally smile. I had to really work at it! But now I smile a lot. As a matter of fact, I rarely ever hear him say, “smile, Babe!” When I smile at my husband and he smiles back, something beautiful happens! You lock eyes and you feel this soul connection….it really draws you close in an incredible way. It really is a powerful thing!

    1. Eliza,

      This makes me smile! πŸ™‚ I love that you looked in the mirror and finally saw what your family was seeing. Such a beautiful description of the power of smiling at our husbands. Thank you for sharing, my sweet sister!

  3. When I mentor women, this is the first assignment I give to them! It’s funny what women have come back to me a week later and told me. One woman said her husband finally said to her, “Have you lost weight?” He knew something looked better about her!

    Way too many women live their lives angry and upset with their husband. When they begin smiling at them instead, their husbands begin to feel like their wives finally appreciate and love them! Besides, smiling is a great natural face lift!

  4. A comment from FB that a wife has graciously allowed me to share:

    I have been married 16 years and I found April’s website about 2 1/2 years ago. Smiling at my dh was one of the first things I focused on during my journey of trying to become a peaceful wife.
    My dh found it very confusing in the beginning because I had not been happy for a long time. I made a conscious effort every day to just smile no matter how I felt not expecting anything in return. Some days it was hard because it was not always reciprocated but I continued.

    Over time it got much easier and it is almost second nature now! It also felt very awkward in the beginning because I wasn’t really happy on the inside! But I think the forcing myself to smile more didn’t only bless my husband it also helped me to feel better and have a more positive attitude about things.

    My dh has now begun to say things like how he just wants me to be happy! I now smile so much sometimes that my cheeks hurt! Our kitchen and living room are divided by a wall and sometimes in the evenings while I am cooking supper and he is watching his car shows I simply peek around the corner and say pssst to get his attention followed by blowing him a kiss and smiling at him as I walk back to the kitchen. Its kind of silly but he loves it! Sometimes he’ll even come join me to help in the kitchen.

    I really think smiling is contagious! If you do it enough everyone around you will join in! Even my teenage daughter can’t help but give in to my smiling craze!

  5. April, I never fail to be amazed at the wonders a simple smile works. It’s even better when it’s “just because.” Thank you for this counsel. πŸ™‚

  6. I have been smiling when I am driving or doing chores for the health benefits. If you smile big enough to make your eyes squinted a little, your body thinks that you are happy and it just makes everything go in the right direction. This is a good challenge, very simple and a smile shows our husband we approve of him and that he makes us happy. That will probably make him want to do more things in that direction.

  7. Thank you for posting this. I have tried it and quit when I didn’t get the response that I was hoping for. Now I know that when I smile around my husband, it has to be for God.

    I read that the first 30 seconds when the husband/wife gets home are crucial. If there is a hug or if there a scowel, that can set the tone for the evening. This is very true for me.

    I am going to train myself to be thankful and smile as often as I can. My marriage is in a very critical spot, so this may be a challenge. I am tired of holding on to anger and hurt. I am regretful that I took my husband for granted.

    Satan wants me to be angry, miserable, fearful, inpatient, critical, joyless, manipulating, toxic, etc. God wants me to be loving, kind, respectful, joyful, etc…regardless of what the state of my marriage is and regardless of what my husband chooses to do.

    1. Betsy,

      I know things have been very hard – it sounds like for both you and your husband. It brings such joy to my heart to see the way God is already beginning to transform your heart and mind and to show you the enemy’s evil plans vs. His good plans.

      Thank you so much for sharing! I pray for healing for you both in Christ!

  8. In theatre we teach that “feeling follows form.” This is really true, that if you smile first–the happy form–you will begin to feel the same. πŸ™‚ Great advice!

  9. Your posts always come at just the right time for me, April. My father is visiting from out of town. Just five minutes before reading this, I was talking with him and he said, “don’t frown”, and put his thumb on my wrinkled forehead. He’s done this my whole life so I’ve always thought it was funny. But I had kind of a bad day today, and my response was, “hmmmm, how do you go through life without frowning anyway?” Then I opened this and watched your video. I think God is trying to tell me something!

  10. Hey April,

    I don’t know if you remember me but I wrote in a few times on my journey of being separated from my wife after thirty years being married. Initially I went head on to get to the bottom of my troubles which had resulted in so much pain for my wife. I have not held her responsible for any part of this separation.

    The reason for writing today is to actually say that my wife came and saw me today and actually smiled and chatted with me today for the FIRST time in ELEVEN MONTHS. so if you want me to tell you the effect that had on me!!

    I could write a book here on what I have learned but I guess the most significant thing for me as a man is not to be a Christian but to be a follower of Christ. I went from being unrighteously compromising to uncompromisingly righteous, from being a passive shame based pew sitter to being so excited in God its ridiculous! I’m probably talking to somebody about Christ everyday, I’m at our prayer room at church at 4.30 for an hour or two before work and again around 9 or 10 at night and i do this most days of the week because I am so keen to know more, hear more and let everyone else know the transforming power of God. He wants 100 percent but when you do He starts looking after you right back….I have had so many miracles its getting funny…..I badly sprained my ankle a couple of weeks ago and needed crutches and then it healed literally in minutes!! I didn’t really believe in miracles – Believe in them! whether its marriage, sickness, family, work, God is right there. We were badly, badly in debt and now we are well on our way out….shame has gone.
    Its a hard road initially, very hard. it is hard facing your own cowardice as a husband. But as your eyes come off your circumstances and turn to God I began to really understand how much the Lord is for me and how much value He puts on bringing us as close to Him as we allow Him.

    There’s been such significant changes in me I can’t even begin to tell you but these changes are so profound, so exciting and He never leaves you…..there is still more to go but repentance of sin was so long ago and now its a life of sanctification and a brand new way of living…..Bless you April…your blog has been a lifesaver through this journey and by the grace of the Living God I will be able to write and say everything is now well….!!

    1. Gary,

      WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Of course I remember you. πŸ™‚ How I praise God for what He has done and is doing in your life!!!!!

      I would love to hear anything you’d like to share. This is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!

      Thank you so much for letting me know. πŸ™‚ I never get tired of hearing about the miracles God does in people’s lives. πŸ™‚

  11. Love you, April. I’ve been doing this since I read about the power of a smile on your blog. It works and it is powerful πŸ™‚

  12. You’re right, a smile is pleasant. It’s so much nicer to be around happy people.

    A behavior I find myself in, is that if she’s in a foul mood, I am more drawn to hanging out in the garage or the office upstairs. It usually compounds the problem, but it’s a natural reaction. A scowl or frown will repel. A smile is like a bug light, we’re helplessly drawn in. Just don’t zap us. lol

    Smile!

    1. AnonyMan,

      I love that! “A smile is like a bug light, we’re helplessly drawn in.” πŸ™‚

      I do hope you are going to let me quote you on that one!!! It made me smile a huge smile, myself.

      Thank you so much for sharing your masculine perspective with us. You are a blessing to our discussions and help us understand our husbands and brothers in Christ better.

  13. I knew how powerful this smile is from dating a man years ago who practiced this.
    I thought it would be an easy challenge. Not so much.
    I have to keep it in mind and be very intentional, but will still keep trying because it is magic to my husband and a silent witness to God.

    1. Tena,

      It gets easier with practice and as we focus on our blessings, things for which to be thankful, praising God, and trusting Him. πŸ™‚

      But it does not come naturally to our sinful nature, that is for sure.

      I know your beautiful smile will bless God and your husband! πŸ™‚

  14. I need to do that. I didn’t realize that sometimes I feel so much burdened by the way my husband treat me, his harshness ( it seems it becomes worst April, I don’t know if it’s because start to deal with him but he is more and more terrible with me)….that my face is sad or without a smile. It is hard to smile to someone you don’t even want to be closed. This morning, we fought. I only work in the morning and come back home to clean, iron….until night, I don’t even time to rest right now and he said that it’s normal, it’s my duty, then he insulted me and my nationality…… was horrible. I went to cry in our room door closed and he came and pressed my foot and told me to stop crying cause he didn’t beat me (his dad was beating his mum). We did a marriage seminar last WE and I believe the Lord started to deal with him about cutting ombilical cord with his mum and have appreciation of his Heavenly Father. But this month, he gave me 4 small slaps. It doesn’t hurt me physically but a lot emotionally. Once was in the car and I did nothing that screaming cause he passed a bump so fast cause he was stressed. He slap me in the chest and I cried all way to church (20mn), I couldn’t repress myself and there were his aunt and mum in the car. I read again “Surrended wife” and read the blog of Love and respect. I need to respect him even if he is so terrible with me. I ask the Lord to give me love for him and help me smile. Please April, pray for us

    1. sonadewonderful,

      Oh how my heart grieves over your situation. πŸ™ I want you to promise me to do something, my precious sister. I have been praying with you and walking with you on this journey for a long time now. It does not sound like things are getting better on either side of this marriage. I am concerned for your safety.

      It is not okay for anyone to hit anyone or physically assault anyone. I don’t know how many times this has happened – but that is not acceptable. And I think there have been worse incidents in the past, correct? I really don’t want anyone screaming at anyone either. That is just not necessary and not honoring to Christ. But when things begin to get physical, that is just not okay!

      Please contact this website, Focus on the Family, and email to chat online with one of their counselors ASAP.

      Honestly, my sister, I am just not sure that it is wise for the two of you to live together right now. I don’t like the thought of separation. I don’t take that recommendation lightly. Things are just not good at all, from what you are describing. I wonder if it might be good to pray about separating for a time to get both of you healed and some alone time with God and some space to breathe for a bit?

      Please contact the counselors at Focus on the Family. Let them know what has been going on. Be sure to include what you have done and what your husband has done for you – don’t leave out details. Or, please find a godly counselor there to help you one-on-one ASAP.

      I love you! I want God’s best for you.

      If you are not safe – I am not sure that smiling and trying not to ever say something that goes against your husband’s viewpoint is going to fix anything. Yes, there are improvements you need to make. But there are also improvements he needs to make. I don’t want you screaming at him. But I do want you to feel safe enough to be able to share your opinion respectful even if you disagree and to feel like you are being heard.

      I don’t know what God’s exact will is for you about this. I am not there and am not seeing all that is going on. I don’t know if there is even more that I don’t know about. I pray for His wisdom for you as you face a very difficult situation, my friend.

      1. Thanks April. I will contact a counselor of Focus on the Family but I can’t separate April. The first thing is that it will be such a hurtful for our adoptive son of 8 years old. I will endure whatever for his sake (well; not if he really beat me as he did once and went to talk to his pastor). But he is so attached to me and my husband had threaten me many time to divorce me and stay with our son. I can’t April. I love our son so much…. And the second thing is that the mission center is about to open in 3 weeks. People will see how he treats me. Some friends from seminars that he invited 3 weeks ago already have seen how he treats me so bad but no one told nothing to him. But they told me in private “I don’t know how can you endure that! We admire you. The woman of the group said “I couldn’t” and they promised to pray for me.

        He slapped me 4 times this month. He is so stress because of opening the center and I thing God is working on him too. It doesn’t justify but what can I do April? Should I told him “Don’t do that anymore so…..” So what? I won’t talk to his pastor anymore, it created such a mess. We kind of close now with his mum and I told her. She said it was too Much. But everybody (his mum, me and our son) has to be submit to him or yells at us. He acts many times as a dictator. Today I was crying and saying to God “I can’t anymore live this way, don’t let him touch me”. But I am a foreigner here April. This is his country, his family….. If it wasn’t for my love for God and my son, and the respect of our wedding vows, I’d have live. But I can’t. Let’s continue to pray and see what God will do. Thanks for your advices. I need them. 😘

        1. sonadewonderful,

          I have heard reports that marriages in South America are in such utter shambles that when missionaries go there, they have to teach couples about godly marriage before they can be ready to be pastors or leaders in the church. It is hard for me to imagine marriages being in worse shape than what they are in the US. I know that you are aware of biblical qualifications for a pastor and his wife. With what is going on, your husband is disqualifying himself from being in a position of pastor or missionary or any kind of church leadership. If someone does address it, or he loses his job (which, honestly, he deserves to right now) – I am concerned for your safety. And I am concerned for your son’s safety.

          Until this marriage is honoring to God, I don’t believe that productive or effective ministry for God is possible. I pray that God might radically change you both for His glory!

          I am praying for God’s intervention, for His wisdom, and for His will. I am not at all pleased about what is going on. I am very concerned for you. Please let me know what the counselor says.

          Much love to you!

          1. Hi April. I know you right but I can’t do nothing but changing myself. I’m shouting to God to change me first and change him. Yesterday was horrible and since then, I feel so sad. I try to encourage myself but it is hard. Yesterday, we went to a birthday where my husband spoke about the center. Then, earlier on, he asked me to make pancakes for lunch time (it’s different than in the US, they put chicken inside…..). I told him the time will be too short cause we had a baby hoser at 3PM. I usually manage to make pancakes well but don’t know why, they were all scrambled and I felt so frustrated. I went downstairs and told him and I did raised my voice again πŸ™ cause I felt such in agony. He told me that if I speak to him again this way, he’ll beat me. I said if he does (as he did it once) I will go to a center for beaten woman and men have to go there and have a therapy or they go to jail. He told me if I go there he’ll beat me more and he gave me a slap on the arm. April, it hurts me so much deep down inside. I went to cry in our bedroom and we went with our 2 different cars at the baby shower cause we were doing ministry in 2 different churches. He talked to me at night but I was distant. Even now, I forgave him but I don’t want to be in his presence. I feel so hurt. Yesterday after church, I sat outside and cried and cried and let the Lord comfort me with Ps 31. What hurt me most is than our son, started to cry at the prayer time that I do with him each night. I asked why and he said “because you and daddy are going to separate”. And he said “if so I want to stay with you”‘even if it was my husband that raised him in Africa since the age of 1 year 1/2. I try not to feel despair but this is so hard. I am gonna try to stay away from him as much as I can and do my best to speak softy I him cause I’m scare he beats me for real. I asked prayer to one of my close friend who known in part our situation and my sister but without giving details. Right now, he is downstairs talking to his mum. I don’t know why he married me since he share all the things with her and she is her perfect match…. I just have God and my son and I will try feel content in this situation.

          2. Sonadewonderful,

            I recommend that you not stay there. Maybe you don’t have to stay. Can you go home to your parents? Are their friends you could stay with? I do not believe it is wise for either of you to be in this situation. I think it could easily escalate and be very dangerous. He is threatening to beat you severely. He has already done that once. He has slapped you 5 times in the last month. He stepped on your foot to hurt you. He is not in control of himself. I think that the two of you being together is too volatile and unstable right now. I wish that were not the case. But things are not improving and I am more concerned about your safety than I am about you staying there.

            Please pray about what God may want you to do. He may provide a way out. I do not believe you are safe. Is there somewhere you can go? If you don’t think there is, let’s pray for God’s provision. I do not like this situation at all. The shelter may be necessary. He may need to receive help and consequences. you both need MAJOR counseling, as well. I cannot recommend that y’all stay together. I am very concerned about you both and about what this innocent child is seeing. πŸ™

            What did the counselor at Focus on the Family say?

            I wish I could hug your neck, my friend!

          3. Hi April. I know you right but I can’t do nothing but changing myself. I’m begging God to change me first and change him. Yesterday was horrible and since then, I feel so sad. I try to encourage myself but it is hard. Yesterday, we went to a birthday where my husband spoke about the center. Then, earlier on, he asked me to make pancakes for lunch time (it’s different than in the US, they put chicken inside…..). I told him the time will be too short cause we had a baby shower at 3PM. But he insisted so I executed it. I usually manage to make pancakes well but don’t know why, they were all scrambled and I felt so frustrated. I went downstairs and told him and I did raised my voice again πŸ™ cause I felt such in agony. He told me that if I speak to him again this way, he’ll beat me. I said if he does (as he did it once) I will go to a center for beaten woman where men have to go there and have a therapy or they go to jail. He told me if I go there he’ll beat me more and he gave me a slap on the arm. April, it hurts me so much deep down inside. I went to cry in our bedroom and we went with our 2 different cars at the baby shower cause we were doing ministry in 2 different churches. He talked to me at night but I was distant. Even now, I forgave him but I don’t want to be in his presence. I feel so hurt. Yesterday after church, I sat outside and cried and cried and let the Lord comfort me with Ps 31. What hurt me most is than our son, started to cry at the prayer time before going to bed that I do with him each night. I asked why and he said “because you and daddy are going to separate”. And he said “if so I want to stay with you”‘even if it was my husband that raised him in Africa since the age of 1 year 1/2. I try not to feel despair but this is so hard. I am gonna try to stay away from him as much as I can and do my best to speak softy cause I’m scare he beats me for real. I asked prayer to one of my close friend who known in part our situation and my sister but without giving details. Right now, he is downstairs talking to his mum. I don’t know why he married me since he share all the things with her and take many of the decision with since he she had the money and so the power. They are such perfect match and I feel a foreigner, which I am…. I just have God and my son and I will try to feel content in this situation.

          4. You know April, who can judge who can do ministry or not but God. I didn’t call myself, I don’t live in sin. I spend time daily in God’s presence; weakening at 5:30Am and not being a morning person, I do my best to crucify the flesh and live in the Spirit, God is my Lord and first love, I am in this journey of respecting my husband since 2 years and 1/2. I made some progress but I’m not perfect, who is? So no one can judge, only God knows. And for my husband; it’s between him and God, if can continue to do what he does and feel in peace. I am responsible only for myself.

          5. The church leaders are supposed to judge whether a man is worthy to serve as a pastor, elder, or deacon.

            1 Timothy 3 contains the God-directed qualifications:

            Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.

            In the same way, deacons are to be worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain. They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.

            In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.

            A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well. Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus.

            If a pastor is violent toward his wife and cannot control his temper at home – that is a disaster in the making in the church. It may not be your position to tell him he can’t preach or be a pastor. But this behavior is unacceptable. It would be unacceptable for any husband – but especially for a pastor.

            You can’t change him or control him. But you can separate if you are not safe – that is, in my view, the responsible and godly thing to do. I pray you will speak to a counselor from Focus on the Family and see what they say. I pray that you will continue to pray and seek God’s will. And if you do decide you need to leave – be especially cautious because a wife leaving can provoke great violence sometimes in situations like this. I don’t know how and when and exactly what God desires you to do. But I want you to be safe!

            I pray that God might intervene and direct you both and the church and I pray for God’s Spirit to bring conviction of all sin and to bring healing – so that He might use you and your husband in mighty ways for His kingdom.

          6. I know April that normally leaders need to be ready and take care of their family before taking care of the church. In fact, we are not taking care of a church but are going to be directors a mission center. It’s call the Potter’s house and who knows if God wants to break the vases we are and especially my hubby during this time of ministry. God is God and he doesn’t always thinks does as we think. Right now I’m doing a vase of 20 days for our marriage and that God will do his work in me first.

          7. We move on to my mother in law house until our apartment is ready maybe in 2 to 3 months. I need a lot of wisdom and stay my mouth shut off. May God do in me all he wants to do

          8. Sonadewonderful,

            I have been praying for you, your husband, and your son so much. I pray for God’s wisdom for you and your husband. I pray for His will and His glory. I pray for His wisdom for the leaders in the ministry and your church that they might see the issues and address them. I pray for God to open your husband’s eyes, that he might repent and return to Christ and walk in full submission, that he might be filled with God’s Spirit and effective in ministry. Missionaries must walk in godliness, too – not just pastors. I pray for your spiritual growth and for you to be sensitive to God’s voice and ready to obey anything He clearly asks you to do. I do not like this situation at all! I am very concerned for your safety. I pray for you to make the choices that will truly most please God.

            Sending you the biggest hug!

          9. Sonadewonderful,

            My heart just breaks for you, my dear sister! I want to fix things and make you be safe! I want to see your family all living for Christ and full of His love, joy, peace, and honor for each other. How can we pray for you? Are you safe?

          10. He didn’t slap me anymore but I’ m suffering so much. Yesterday we argued and he told me I was an animal and dirty, he says I’m abnormal and crazy because I have some pb of attention sometimes and lost the key of our mother In law house. I feel that the spiritual warfare is so much harder since we moved here. Lord please, do you work in me and may our apartment be ready soon. We have very few physical contact and has sex 3 times this year. It’s so hard…. He said he doesn’t want to have natural son with me right now cause sometimes I forget to cut the nails of our son, and I forgot his lunch school one (well; he had still something to eat…..), well, he thinks I’m a bad mom even if I stay and care for him all day, I’m in charge of helping him his homework. And I just turn 42…. He crushed my dream but my savior lives and can do miracle. Please continue to pray for us. Big hug

          11. No but I wish so! I am reading one book about it but I need more materials. Do you know any good book about it? And I am doing also a study about our tongue and how to master it. I realized yesterday that I am paying for my mistakes of the past and this biblical. What I sow, I am reaping now. I asked my husband if I can see the apartment before we move in. He said probably no. It is because when his mother in law (not him) started to tell me about buying an apartment instead of a house, I really didn’t react well. But the reason was because I wish my husband think and share with me first instead of deciding everything with his mum. But I think this situation dysfunctional is so normal for them that they don’t understand why I reacted this way. We still argued a bit each day but I try to get my mouth closed. But please pray because he told me he still didn’t forgive me for my mistakes of the past and can’t see the change in me even if there are a lot. Big hug and thanks for you support

          12. Thanks April. Things are little bit better. I should focus on what to improve and there are many things.

            His mum get upset with him cause she was cooking at the Mission Center (and paying for everything) but she was also stressing everybody and putting weight on students to pay (some doesn’t have any money but we try to find some partner to support them). She wanted to control everything even my husband who is the director. So he asked her to leave. She is so resentful that she doesn’t talk to us since 3 weeks and 1/2 (and we live in the same house) and she is talking to everybody how bad we are.

            She decided to cut all the finances of the center but also of my husband. It’s hard cause we lost a great support but God already started to bless the center with donations. And since the beginning of our marriage I pray God to cut the financial, fiscal and emotional omblica lol cord between them so I pray that it really happen and that after reconcilable she decide to stay it this way. Thank you so much for your prayers. Big hug

          13. Sonadewonderful,

            Perhaps this will help begin to allow y’all to break away from his mom? I vote for you not to say anything about this being from God. But it may be a good thing, ultimately. I’m glad your husband stood up to his mom when he believed she was wrong.

            Praying for God to work in her life, your husband’s life, your life, your son’s life, and your marriage for His glory!

  15. I don’t want you to think that I don’t stumble. I did quite a lot this week. The hardest thing for me is to speak without raising my voice, to not question when he takes decision (it’s so hard cause he almost never include me in his decision) and he is a command man. He says so and everybody has to agree) and not criticize his ideas. I pray a lot the Lord will help me also to get rid of the spirit of control. I wish so much to do better……

  16. April, Thanks so much for all that you write and the encouragement you bring to so many wives/marriages. This blog has tremendously helped me. I am so encouraged and hopeful of what God can do in my marriage. Gonna start smiling today but I know it has to be genuine for me. My husband and I have been seriously struggling and I certainly don’t want to seem fake or like I am acting happy. God has given me a lot of peace and joy finally just this week after a 9 month long struggle of faith and trust in Him and my husband. I have a lot to be thankful for and I’m going to start down a road of positive thinking instead of the negative/depressing one I’ve been on. I pray that the son-shine will come out through my smile and that I will be a blessing and encouragement to my husband and children! Blessings everyone!

    1. Hopeful,

      WOOHOO! Love this attitude and your sincerity of heart and you love for God and faith in Him. That is AWESOME! Praying for you to be a great blessing to your husband and children, my dear sister! Let us know how you are doing!

My grandmother is on hospice and won't be with us much longer (11-30-16). I will get to comments when I am able to but I need to be with family right now. Thanks for understanding.

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