Skip to main content

Giving All of Myself to Christ – a Prayer

hands to the sky

 

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done. Matthew 16:24-27

Lord,

How I thank You for Jesus and for all that You have done for me! I praise and thank You for Your Word. I praise and thank You for Your Spirit – such an incredible gift You have given to me because I am Your child. I want to give You all of myself. I hold nothing back. As much as I know how, I want to give You everything I am and all that I have. You have given Your all for me – even though it cost You everything. Now I give my all for You – even though it costs me everything. I come before You with a broken and contrite heart. I humble myself down to the dust. I bow with my face to the ground and exalt You alone as God!

I fully yield to You all of:

  • my time
  • my energy
  • my ministry
  • my children
  • my family
  • my talents
  • my abilities
  • my body
  • my sexuality
  • my thoughts
  • my use of food
  • my beliefs
  • my weakness
  • my praise
  • my thanksgiving
  • my sin
  • my pride
  • my husband
  • my health
  • my money
  • my career
  • my hobbies
  • my possessions
  • my house
  • my car
  • my priorities
  • my wisdom
  • my dreams
  • my priorities
  • my plans
  • my will
  • my desires

I lay down all of myself, all that I have, all that I am, and all that I ever will be at Your feet. You are God. You are my Master. My life is in Your hands. My only purpose is to bring pleasure to You and to be useful to You. I long to know You more.

In Christ, I have died to myself. My old sinful self is now crucified, dead, and buried with Christ. And now I have been raised to new life in Christ Jesus! This new life I live, I live through the power of Christ. I am no longer a slave to sin, but a slave to righteousness! (Romans 6-8)

I receive all that You have, Jesus. And I receive all that You have done for me and all that You are. I gladly and joyfully receive:

  • Your desires
  • Your will
  • Your suffering
  • Your pruning
  • Your goals
  • Your plans
  • Your passions
  • Your purposes
  • Your priorities
  • Your power
  • Your righteousness and holiness
  • Your glory
  • Your will
  • Your resources
  • Your strength
  • Your wisdom
  • Your godliness
  • Your perspective
  • Your love for God and for people
  • Your mercy and grace
  • Your Spirit
  • Your Word
  • Your joy
  • Your peace
  • Your presence
  • Your blessing
  • Your abundant spiritual life
  • Your life-giving rebukes
  • Your discipline
  • Your refining process
  • Your fruit
  • Your hatred of sin

The old has gone and the new has come. Thank You for making me a new creation by Your power. Cleanse me of my sin. Transform me by Your power to be more and more like You, Jesus. I fully submit myself to You. I no longer live for myself, but for Your will and Your glory.

In the Name and power and will of Christ,

Amen!

verses about dying to self

 

Merry Christmas to each of you! How blessed we are to serve the Lord Jesus Christ!!!

RELATED:

Dying to Self

Dying to Self – by The Good Wife

Prayer Day – Consecration

Defending Myself No More

48 thoughts on “Giving All of Myself to Christ – a Prayer

  1. This is great! I love it! I bookmark all my favorite posts of yours. But the problem is – they are all favorites! So the list is quite large!

    Sending you big hugs! And praying that you and your family have a blessed Christmas and 2015! 🙂

  2. Merry Christmas, Sweet Dear April! How I thank God for bringing me here this past year and for the spiritual encouragement He brings through your ministry. Sending you a heartfelt hug and wishes for a wonderful celebration with your family!…Our Savior came and He chose us for His own!! How blessed we are!!!

  3. MERRY CHRISTMAS APRIL,GREG AND FAMILY! Cant thank you enough for the positive effect you have had on my life! Praise God for his Grace and gift of Jesus! We are staying for a week away with my husbands family who are all non believers, so it was nice to come to bed and read this post! We have found a great church here in Ireland, we went this morning and are going again on Sunday and Sunday night! Cant wait! Happy Christmas to all the lovely wives on your blog, lets pray for a great start to the New Year! Building up, not tearing down etc! Xxx

    1. JuR,
      I am THRILLED about what God is doing in your life! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!

      I praise God for the new church you found. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family!

      Much love!
      April

  4. Hi April and Ladies,
    I hesitate to post this here, to leave a negative comment on such a positive post. But would you please say a prayer for me? Pray that I will pray this prayer as many times as I need, and that I will mean it when I pray. I am so weary, so tired of the back and forth, so tired of my emotions, so ready to just give up and go live off by myself somewhere. I am so tired of me. When I feel that way and I hear people say things like “you are beautiful to God” or “God made everyone special” then I feel so guilty for having negative feelings.
    I don’t want to post here, because I don’t want to drag others down, especially at such a happy time of the year. But when I read or comment on blogs that are not based on God’s Word (or at best, a loose interpretation of God’s Word) well, that’s not good either.
    I hate being needy. I hate needing people. I should be stronger and able to just get over myself. I hate asking for prayer, especially when there are so many needs far greater than my own. But I know prayer is powerful, and I know I need it.
    God bless you all. I pray you are having a wonderful Christmas season!

    1. Becca,

      I hope you know that you are always welcome here!

      I have a really important question for you, my precious sister.

      How much time have you spent in the last month or two dissecting your thoughts and motives before God, kicking out the ungodly/unbiblical thoughts/lies and consciously replacing them with the truth of the Word of God?

      I know that the last time we talked – we talked about the importance of you doing this. You will be stuck until you REALLY take a LOT of time and go through all of your thoughts in an extremely detailed way.

      Much love!
      April

      1. Honestly April, I haven’t spent much time doing that at all. I am humbled by your gentle reminder. My gut response was “but I don’t know how!” But that’s just a lousy excuse. You have given me (all of us readers) more than enough information in order to do so. I need to make this a priority.

        I am stuck. For some reason, I cling to the negative thoughts and “lies” (I still have trouble seeing them as lies) but I cling to them with a ferocity that scares me. It makes NO sense. The logical side of my brain is frequently at war with the emotional side.

        I am stuck because I haven’t put the work in. You know my husband was just counseling my youngest son who has been struggling, that the only one who can change him and make him improve is he himself. That he needs to pray for God to help him. Maybe I should take the same advice.

        Thank you, April. Thank you for asking me exactly what I needed to be asked. I pray I will start digging deeper tomorrow. It promises to be painful, and I don’t want to do it. But you’re right. If I don’t do this, I will remain right where I am, spinning my wheels.

        Love to you too, Becca

        1. Becca,

          I was pretty sure what your answer would be just from what you said in your comment. We all have TONS of junk to sift through in our hearts. The first time you go through all of it is the hardest. But, I had to spend some time tonight writing down all of my thoughts, evaluating my motives, asking God to show me sinful thoughts. This is a continual process any time we have negative thoughts or discontentment pop up.

          Right now, you have a mountain of junk to sort through. It is kind of like what a hoarder would need to do to get their lives straightened out. They would have to begin picking up every old newspaper and every old plastic cake container they have been stockpiling for years until they go through the entire house. It will take many dump truck loads to get rid of all of the garbage that is poisoning your soul. My estimate is that you have a good bit more garbage in your heart and soul than most women have, based on the things you have shared over the past year or so. It will take time and it will be painful. But, you will stay stuck right here until you are willing to face all of these lies, ungodly ideas, fears, and pet sins head on and get rid of each and every one of them and replace them with God’s truth. It will be hard work. But God has the power to help you do this if you are willing.

          This is your decision. No one else can make it for you. And no one else can fix this for you. It will have to be you, the Bible, and God wrestling and hashing through each fixed belief and wrong motive and sin in your heart.

          I am here for support. It is way past time to do this. You are hurting your marriage and your children with these ungodly thoughts. And you are missing out on intimacy with everyone in your life, including God, because you are clinging to these sinful ideas. What God will ask you to give up is all garbage. Then He will replace all of that with treasure from heaven. It is SO worth it!!!

          Much love,
          April

          1. April, i am so thankful that you are so humble and so willingly share your sin with us. it has helped me to be able to do the same. it’s like cleaning house, once you get started doing it, I continue to find things that i need to release and let go (sin). I just need to continue to work on it and do a full house cleaning of self. i have felt so much peace already even though i am not totally clean. i can’t imagine once i get thru all the filth (mountain and forests in my eye like you say). thank you so much!!

    2. Becca,
      You are being prayed for. I’m glad you shared and I love the wisdom of April’s encouragement to you. It was a good reminder for me, as well.

  5. My mind is my worst enemy.
    Is it me? Or is it the enemy?

    I get some of what Becca is saying. I’m tired of myself.
    I feel like I can’t get a break/breakthrough for anything. Every time I turn around, someone is reminding me of what God “might not do” or how I need to “pack up what I want and move ahead and see what is coming.” I need some faith and truth speaking in my life. I need hope. I need someone standing with me believing for the impossible. I feel like I’m hitting walls and ceilings with all my prayers.

    I LOVE this prayer post.
    But, I need a visual. I need wisdom and understanding.
    I need step by step instructions.
    I need help.

    How in the world do you do what this prayer says?
    How do you “give” everything to God?
    I feel like I surrender everything everyday, but nothing changes.

    What does this look like?
    If I am surrendering all of those things in my life…then what does my life look like? What am I thinking about? How do I act? What do I do?

    I listen only to KLOVE, I read His Word everyday and then all kinds of other stuff. I repent. I praise. I don’t watch much TV. I pray ALOT! I talk to Him throughout the day. I say scripture back to Him. I read the Word with my kids. I am annoyed by sin. I am filling my life up with HIM yet, feel silence. I don’t feel guidance. I don’t feel blessings. I don’t feel anything moving or changing. I don’t feel any help.

    Then, how do I know all of those things Jesus gives us in return are happening? What will THAT look like? Where is the guidance? How do I know what He wants?

    Do these questions make sense? I just want to understand. This is one of my big hang ups. I’ve really, really tried, but I am still lost.

    Can someone help?
    I’m sorry!! =(
    Thanks

    1. PLM,

      My precious sister!!!!

      I assume you and your husband are still separated? 🙁

      I know I have tried to explain this many times, my dear friend – maybe someone else has a different way of explaining that will click better. But – I will try it again. 🙂

      When we lay things down before God – we transfer the emotional and spiritual weight to Him and we don’t carry it. We don’t carry the feeling of being responsible for how things turn out. When we hold things loosely, we let go of control and don’t try to force our way. We realize that if we have God, we will be able to be content in Him – even if we suffer, even if we must face our deepest fears, even if things go the opposite direction of what we desire.

      Things may not change. Circumstances may stay up in the air for a long time. Or they may get worse.

      Giving myself to God does not mean that suddenly everything magically goes the way I want it to go. It could! God absolutely CAN do miracles and He can bring husbands to Himself and He can heal marriages. But I leave the work and the outcome up to Him. I share my desires with Him. Then I seek His will for today and I focus on today and what He calls me to do today. I don’t have to think about what will happen in 5 months, a year, 5 years, 50 years, etc… I don’t have to know what God will do with my husband or when He will do it. I focus on today. I focus on worshipping, thanking, praising, and trusting Christ. I ask Him to change me and cause me to grow. I ask to know Him more. I let His Spirit fill me. And then, many times, I wait.

      There is a LOT of waiting in this process. Sometimes many months or years, sometimes decades. That has to be ok.

      Are you able at this point to let go of the results? Are you able to let go of your husband and trust God even if your husband doesn’t come back? Are you able to pray for his eventual healing and return – but continue to be content in Christ even if your husband doesn’t change? Or are you holding on to the idea that you MUST have him back no matter what it takes and no matter what the cost and no matter what you have to do to make it happen? If you are clinging to a specific outcome – or you are clinging to the idea that your marriage must be healed right now or God is not working – that could be why you are feeling stuck. I don’t know your heart. I don’t know what you are thinking and what you are holding on to. That would be something to pray about and ask God to show you anything that you are clinging to other than Him – to show you what you might need to let go of.

      Much love to you!

    2. PLM,

      I wonder if it could be interesting to take a break from praying for your husband to come back for a while – not that you are not praying that or seeking it – but focus on just your walk with Christ for a bit. I will be praying for your husband. He will continue to be prayed for. And I will be praying for you.

      I personally had to stop praying for Greg for quite awhile in the beginning of my journey because my motives were so messed up. At first, all I could pray was thanksgiving or lists of things I respected about Greg. But I had to stop trying to control Greg and God with my prayers. For many years, my prayers were really attempts to manipulate and control Greg and God. Not good. Those prayers were not answered. My motives were sinful.

      What do you think?

      And, would you please remind me what your dad was like and what your relationship was like with him as you were growing up?
      Much love,
      April

  6. I’m better at surrendering.
    I just don’t understand all the things people say about resting in God or letting Him guide you daily or put desires in your heart. I don’t think I know how to be a Christian. I don’t understand how people remind me that I need to hold onto the promises and the better life is coming when Jesus comes and the troubles here are temporary…but am I not worthy of an abundant life while I’m here on earth like everyone around me?
    I just get tired of hearing what God might not do. I want someone standing with me in faith believing for the impossible….isn’t that something we are suppose to do? I have pretty much zipped my lips about my situation and I take it all to God. No one really asks.
    Seems like everyone has given up on him so who would pray for him if I’m not?

    I hear he is blinded by the enemy. Then I hear he has free will. Then I hear satan is attacking families and marriages and we need to fight and pray.

    Then scripture says we did not receive because we didn’t ask. It says to pray without ceasing.

    Nothing makes sense and I feel overwhelmed.

    I do not only pray for him to come home. Mostly that he will respond to the Holy Spirit and that God will draw him back to Himself. I pray the prayers you posted on your blog.

    He said he actually went to a service on New Year’s Eve because he wanted to get things right with God for the new year. He said he wants to get back to church. I asked if he was coming to church with us and he said no. He didn’t go anywhere yesterday and I want to believe him but that’s between him and God. He doesn’t get the big picture. Obviously I don’t either.

    I don’t know. I see him every day. We have good days.

    But he’s not changing his mind yet

    I would have anxiety attack if I didn’t cover my family in prayer. That’s all I have. 🙁

    My dad wasn’t close to us kids. I never saw him affectionate with my mom. He was a great dad. Provided for us and worked hard. They took us to church. But no hugs or I love yous to any of us.

    1. PLM,

      Who do you believe God is?

      What is He like?

      What is your greatest purpose in life?

      What are your biggest desires?

      What are your greatest fears?

      What are the things you tell yourself over and over that give you anxiety or when you are feeling overwhelmed?

      I like what you are praying for your husband. 🙂

      What do you pray for yourself?

      I’m excited to hear that he said he wants to get things right with God for the new year! That is between him and God. God can speak to him in powerful ways – much more powerful than anything you can say to him.

      I know that it seems like a long time to you since all of this started – but it is a relatively short time for a man in your husband’s position. This is going to require much waiting.

      Everyone around you doesn’t have “an abundant life on earth.” God promises us abundant spiritual life here and abundant life in every way in heaven. God also promises we will suffer here. Have you done any studies on suffering in the Christian walk?

      Did you read The Normal Christian Life, by chance? By Watchman Nee?

      What would happen if you let me pray for your husband for a week or two and you didn’t pray for him? What are your fears there?

      Much love to you!

  7. I ask for help when I pray. I just thought We get little things answered to increase our faith. How do we have faith and keep the faith when it feels like the opposite of my prayers are happening? I feel silence. I pray for the Holy Spirit. I wait. Am I missing it?

    I can’t claim songs or red birds (that have special meaning)or hearing a word that relates to something with our family all as God speaking to me. I read His Word but nothing jumps off the page.

    I’m a hopeless cause. I’m trying but I’m feeling forgotten. His family has given up on me too.

    🙁

    1. PLM,

      I believe you may be holding on to something that is blocking you from hearing God’s voice. That is my suspicion.

      Praying for you to ask God to help you see anything destructive that might be hiding in your heart.

      Much love to you!

  8. Well, I will admit I have doubt and fear and those are both sin but I pray about them all the time. I have written every sin I can think of including my feelings I have now in my heart that aren’t suppose to be there. My faith is about the size of a mustard seed but no mountains are moving. I don’t know how this is going to turn out, but it will affect the kids and I long after because of the financial burdens we are facing as well. I don’t want to sit on the sidelines and watch as my life crumbles and his prospers. I get upset and frustrated and angry sometimes because it looks like you can make the wrong choices and get everything you want with no consequences. When you live trying to do whats right and make right choices, everything comes against you and it gets worse and I feel like I’m being punished for something. Yet, I’m the one with my mind on Jesus 90% of the day asking for help. I’m playing mom and dad most times. I’m trying to keep my kids afloat and keep them in the Word. Their prayers have sooooo much faith. So much more than mine.

    So, even though I’m not keeping anything from God, He still isn’t hearing me or helping me? So, I’ve wasted all this time?

    I do ask Him to show Himself real to me. I doubt. I tell that to God. I don’t feel the blessings that everyone else is sharing. I know not “everyone” is in a good spot, but let me share that every single person I work with and every member of my family all still married or going to marry this year (and there are a lot of us). I’m happy for them all…I’m just saying it makes you feel less than normal when you can’t share in the conversations of family pictures, family trips, just hanging with the family and how blessed they feel. I know this attitude isn’t the best, but I don’t get it. And as Becca said earlier…I really have no choice in this. I have to live out whatever happens no matter how much it hurts.
    I feel like a cluttered mess and its all just too deep. Nothing what I am learning or thought about God makes sense…everyone has their own opinions and interpretations. I would just love someone to stand with me and believe the impossible and take God at His Word. I know He has his own timeline and I get impatient but that isn’t driving my life…I’m not saying He is taking too long. I just want to know what I’m suppose to hang onto. When He created marriage and it means so much, how much does He actually help? I know the free will thing, but does God actually ever go against His Word and tell you its over when He hates divorce? Those are the questions I have that are hard to articulate to get someone to understand.
    It seems easier to give up.
    I seriously would love to hide from the world.
    I am not strong enough for all of this.

    1. PLM,

      I have been tied up all day today – but I have been praying for you and your husband! I hope to get to respond in more detail tomorrow night!!!!!! I have not forgotten!

      But – I think the biggest question is this…

      Is God a means to an end? Do you seek God so that you can get what you really want – your husband and marriage restored? Or – is God the ultimate Prize Himself? Are you willing and able to be content in Christ alone? I am not saying God won’t restore your marriage. But are you willing to be content in Christ alone no matter what the outcome? Will you hold the outcome loosely? Or are you trying to control God by your praying like I did for so many years? Are you trying to get God to submit to your ultimate will? Or are you bowing and submitting to His will, His time table, His methods, His wisdom, and finding the sufficiency of Christ?

      Much love,
      April

    2. PLM,

      So – here are my thoughts – for whatever they are worth – after we have been corresponding for many months now (since March of 2014, I believe)…

      What I hear you talking about being most important to you are these kinds of things:
      – your husband returning to you
      – you being happy and having what you want
      – your husband “wins” and gets what he wants (to be by himself), and you “lose” and don’t get your way and that upsets you greatly
      – serving God is a waste of time if He doesn’t answer your prayers the way you want Him to when you want Him to
      – you have to pray for your husband or things will not be ok – so, I wonder, is it possible that you may believe that you are the most critical part of the equation in changing your husband, your prayers are so necessary that God cannot change your husband for His glory if you don’t pray for him every day?
      – suffering shouldn’t happen if you are serving and obeying God
      – spiritual warfare shouldn’t happen if you are serving and obeying God
      – other people have it better than you do, and that is not fair and you want what they have (envy, jealousy)

      I am happy to stand with you and pray for healing for your husband and your marriage – BUT… if you do not purify your motives first, you are stuck.

      Are you willing to let go of the idea of your husband coming back? That has to be step number one. I am not saying he won’t come back. I am saying, are you willing to be content in Christ even if your husband never changes or even if he chooses to sin by leaving? Can you lay that down? You will be able to pray about it later – after your motives are pure. But right now, let’s not think about your husband, but just about you and God. That is actually what this is ALL about.

      Maybe I am misunderstanding you? If so, you are welcome to clarify. 🙂

      What I don’t hear you saying is equally important. I don’t hear you saying things like (and I mean SINCERELY saying these things from a heart knowledge of God):

      – Wow, I am so thankful for all that Christ did for me. I could never repay Him. He has given me SO MUCH!
      – God is the most important thing to me. I know that as long as I have Him, I have more than I could ever need. He is my everything!
      – I am not strong enough for this trial, but I trust God and depend on His strength and will let Him work in me and through me to do whatever He wants. I give up MY will and I seek only His will whatever that may be and whatever time frame He decides upon.
      – If I have to wait right here until I am 80 years old, if my husband leaves, if we never get back together – I am going to trust in Jesus and be content in Him. He is sufficient for me.
      – I am hanging on to Jesus. If I have to let go of everything else, it will hurt, but I will be ok as long as I have Him. He is my Pearl of greatest price! I just want to know Him more and to experience His presence in my life.

      I am praying for you, my precious sister. This will be painful if you choose to go through with it – to allow God to purify your motives. BUT – staying stuck where you are is more painful in the long run.

      Much love to you!

  9. What I hear you talking about being most important to you are these kinds of things:
    – your husband returning to you. (Yes, I want my family back. I was raised that divorce wasn’t an option. You don’t just give up. I’m not suppose to give up or I’m sinning. I’m told to fight for my marriage, but I also know that we don’t fight, but God fights for us. I’ve been given various pieces of advice of not giving up on him and praying against the enemy. I miss him. It’s ok for a wife to grieve and miss a husband who dies but when it’s this situation, it’s a different story, like I shouldn’t be sad and I should just move on. I don’t understand. God has been enough all this time. He is all I’ve had. So He has been first. )

    – you being happy and having what you want ( this experience has taught me it’s not about happiness. Marriage isn’t about being happy. Gods wants to make us holy. Our marriage should reflect on Gods love and design. My husband wasn’t happy. He didn’t get this and still doesn’t. He said it’s all about him being happy. So I don’t believe that is my mindset. I get frustrated because of all the different perspectives on how to respond to marriage problems )

    – your husband “wins” and gets what he wants (to be by himself), and you “lose” and don’t get your way and that upsets you greatly. ( it does look like he is getting everything he wants. I feel like I’m getting no help or answers to prayer. I do get frustrated and wonder why I bother. I read that God answers all these prayers for others and my prayers hit the ceiling. Even little things go unanswered. It’s upsetting, frustrating and confusing. )

    – serving God is a waste of time if He doesn’t answer your prayers the way you want Him to when you want Him to. ( I’m still serving God. I serve at church. I try to do random acts of kindness at work and with my kids, I pray for others, I serve God through my family , even my husband when he comes over every day…I try to shoe unconditional love the best I can but I think it goes unnoticed. But I’m serving some!)

    – you have to pray for your husband or things will not be ok – so, I wonder, is it possible that you may believe that you are the most critical part of the equation in changing your husband, your prayers are so necessary that God cannot change your husband for His glory if you don’t pray for him every day? ( yes, I feel like I have to cover him in prayer as well as my kids every day. I don’t understand how prayer works, really, but I wonder if they really work. Aren’t we to pray against the enemy? Do those prayers even work? People pray and believe God answered. So, what if we don’t pray? What about all the prayer scriptures? I don’t get it.)

    – suffering shouldn’t happen if you are serving and obeying God ( I know suffering is part of our spiritual growth. I just hate that my family had to be torn apart and the rest of our lives are affected. I hate that everyone treats me differently. People just write you off.)

    – spiritual warfare shouldn’t happen if you are serving and obeying God ( spiritual warfare is constant. The enemy is always at work. Speaking against him is what we are suppose to do for ourselves and family, right? But most say it’s just free will. Not the enemy. I believe the enemy is active in our lives. I suspect this because of my mind. It’s constantly being attacked. Some days I just can’t fight it. I think he intensifies be closer you get to God. Some say he knows if something hood is going to happen but I’m not sure I believe that because the enemy can’t see the future. But I expect it and just suit my family and myself up and have scriptures handy , other times I just say “Jesus, help me”. )

    – other people have it better than you do, and that is not fair and you want what they have (envy, jealousy) ( yes…guilty. It’s hard to see people not following Jesus having it all. Their family is intact. It’s embarrassing and uncomfortable when everyone, and I’m not exaggerating, is talking about their husbands and sharing stories. I know very few divorced people. I hate divorce! I hate this!!! I hate seeing the changes in my kids and trying to figure out how to handle their tears and anger and they don’t want any of their friends to know. They don’t want friends to come over. I don’t know what to say when they say everyday that dad will come home when God is done working on him. It’s hard. its not I want what they have. I just want my family back, even if we gave to give up everything and start over. I would live in a shack if we had to. Short road trips are fine. I don’t need a new car. I’m not real materialistic but I am guilty of loving my family so much and wanting to care for them. I miss the hugs and kisses and evening chats and laughing. ). That’s how I’m wired.

    I’m beginning to think I really have no clue how to be a Christian. I believe in and live Jesus. I’m trying to get to know all I can. I feel dead sometimes. I want that fire back but I’m not really sure what I’m doing I guess.

    1. PLM,

      Let’s talk again about your walk with Christ.

      How do you believe you came to Him?

      You focus a lot on the advice of others – but you feel like you don’t hear from God yourself. You seem uncertain whether you have a relationship with Jesus. If you do not have a relationship with Him, that is the main problem. And we need to look at what you believe and why before you can move even a half of an inch forward.

      Upon what is your salvation based?

      What has Jesus done for you?

      Have you been willing to completely receive all that He has done for you and to acknowledge that you cannot make yourself right with God on your own? That you desperately need Him?

      Do you have a sense of how serious sin is and how offensive it is to God? Does it grieve your heart to know that you have grieved God’s heart?

      Are you willing to give Him control?

      Are you ready to begin to fully trust Him? If not, why? What are your fears? Why do you believe that you doubt?

      Much love to you!

      1. PLM,

        Another thought I had was –

        It seems to me that your focus is on you, your situation, and what you are doing. As if – if you “do the right things” then it is a formula and you will automatically get what you want, and God is just part of that formula. “I obey God, then He fixes my marriage.”

        What i believe God desires you to do is to see that this is all about your walk with Him and all about your relationship with Him. It is all about His power, not what you do – does that make sense?

          1. These are the thoughts of my husband. He is nit happy and believes it’s about his happiness.
            Yes, I want to be happy but I understand what you are saying.
            In my mind it’s partly fear and obedience I know God hates divorce. I want no’part of it. I want to so what’s right. God’s Word says I can’t give up.
            I’m. Working on the idolatry part.
            I just wAnt a second chance to get it all right with God, ny husband and my kids.

  10. I’m overwhelmed and confused now. I’m now questioning everything I’ve ever done concerning my faith all these years. How can I not have a relationship with Christ? I’ve been in several small groups, lots of bible studies, women’s conferences, shared Jesus and my faith with others, been active inn church etc. There have been times I’ve seen th things that had to be God. One thing I’ve always said was I didn’t have a story. I’ve never had to depend inn God for something big. The big things in my life, I “could” say God had a hand in it but I wasn’t following him during those times. So then I question what is happening now and if God really just lets things “play out” as the Christian counselor told me last year. She said God doesn’t as always intervene and I can find someone else and remarry. The “advice” I’ve gotten has never been to stand for my marriage. Just reminders that God might not restore and all about free will. I know that. But where are the people with immovable faith of the c.f. wonderful things God can do? Why , aren’t those comments I hear considered sin of doubt? Yet my doubt is holding me back? Nothing makes sense. That’s why I just keep to myself and take things to God. I now question how much time I’ve wasted and I shouldn’t expect anything.

    How I came to Christ. (I was raised in church and in a Christian home. I attended youth group with friends. I was baptized when I was 12 but I’m not certain if I understood. I did my own thing without God for a few years after high school. After we had our son, we started attending church. My husband was baptized in 2001. We got involved some in church. We had a miscarriage and started away from church fir awhile. I got pregnant only 3 weeks later for my healthy daughter. We got back to church. I started getting involved in small group and my husband and I both went thru a spiritual retreat. It changed us both. That was in 2009. We hung vBulletin out with our best friends and did studies with them. Then somewhere my husband got lost. I have clung to Jesus the best I knew how which now I’m wondering if I had itall wrong all this time. He’s been in and out of my life. He’s always been a part of my life).

    You focus a lot on the advice of others – but you feel like you don’t hear from God yourself. You seem uncertain whether you have a relationship with Jesus. If you do not have a relationship with Him, that is the main problem. And we need to look at what you believe and why before you can move even a half of an inch forward.

    Upon what is your salvation based?
    I believe Jesus died on the cross androse 3 days later. He is coming back again someday. I believe God is the father. I believe we have the Holy Spirit (and we fail to tap into ALL He can help us with) I believe that Jesus is our way to the Father.
    John 14:6. It was finished on the cross. I believe we are forgiven when we repent.

    What has Jesus done for you?
    He died on the cross for me. I know that is huge. There was a time I was so thankful and in awe. I still know that is enough but it all feels dry. I am lacking the spark.
    As far as specifics, do you want those?

    Have you been willing to completely receive all that He has done for you and to acknowledge that you cannot make yourself right with God on your own? That you desperately need Him?
    I know I need Him. I tell Him often. Especially when I’m seeking and knocking. I know He intercede and prays His will for US. It’s all head knowledge that won’t move to my heart and soul. 🙁
    Can you explain this more?

    Do you have a sense of how serious sin is and how offensive it is to God? Does it grieve your heart to know that you have grieved God’s heart?
    Yes. When I first found you I cried and cried and wanted to curl up and hide when I acknowledged all the sin toward God and ny husband and all through my life. I think it was Godly sorrow and repentance. I take my doubts and emotions to God. I try and surrender it all every day. Then I work on filling my mind with music and . Podcasts and reading and scripture in hopes I don’t take it back. I fail.

    Are you willing to give Him control?
    I’m trying. I don’t know what that looks like. What do I think about? Pray about?
    I surrender daily. See above answer. I need answers and guidance on things. Where does that come from? This week I came across a devotion and 2 scriptures about waiting on God. Is that Him? The devotion was Oswald Chambers. When you doubt you need to wait. What am I waiting on? How do you know what to do? The enemy can make things look good so what gives?

    Are you ready to begin to fully trust Him? If not, why? What are your fears? Why do you believe that you doubt?
    I want to
    I’ve never had to depend on Him for anything this big.
    The pain and hurt aren’t goinganywhere anytime soon. I have a front row seat to lots of pain. And I’ve been pretty obedient in my actions toward my husband. I am of losing my family and sitting and watching everyone love life and live life. I grew up where family was a big deal. There are like 37 if US now in just my immediate family. I as always wanted a family. Is it wrong that I want something that I’ve just known all my life? I don’t want to die alone. I want to do life on this earth with my husband and kids.
    I know there is trouble here on earth. But I’ve seen marriages restored for those not following God. I’ve seen Christians leave their marriages and get involved with someone else shortly after. I’ve seen a few successful marriages of couples who had affairs and left their spouses and they are thriving.
    I am not judging. I know there are situations in marriages that we don’t know. I just said these things to say they play into my doubt. I don’t see restored marriages where God gets the glory or the credit. So,does He intervene? Or was my counselor right ?

    It’s been God and me for a long time in this. I know He is enough. He had provided for us. It’s been His strength not mine. He may have covered my mouth a few times. It has to be Him allowing me to serve my husband daily when he comes over. Some days I don’t want to. I show unconditional love. Despite the horrible finances and the possibility of losing our home, He has helped the kids and I and met our needs. I don’t know if God put standing for my marriage in my heart. I don’t know what are Gods promises and what are not.

    I think the fear,too, is either I was all wrong about who I think God is. Did I waste all this time? Am I doing what He wants me to? Would He put all these things in my heart to try and save my family only to never really ever planning to?

    Finally, what exactly should I be doing ?
    What should I be thinking? Believing? Hoping? Having faith for?

    1. PLM,

      I hope to write more later… I am not saying you don’t have a relationship with Christ. I don’t know your heart. You and God are the only ones who can really see it clearly. I just want to take a look at the foundation of your faith – because if there is a problem there, it would be the most important place to start.

      Much love to you!

    2. PLM,
      I definitely support you standing for your marriage! I don’t want you to give up on your marriage, your husband, or God. But – I want you to check your motives and check for idols so that you can have the fellowship you desire to have with God and so that you can hear Him clearly. 🙂

      Time spent seeking God is never wasted, my precious girl.

      Ok – I am going to respond to this comment, but then – I may need to give you space. I don’t want to cause more confusion or doubt. That is the last thing I want to do. S

      Family is a big deal to God, too. But your fellowship with Him is even more important.

      No one knows the future except for God. No counselor can tell you what God will do. I can tell you that He is active and working in your life. I can tell you that divorce is not His will. But more than that, He wants all of you. I believe He may want to use this experience to draw you to Himself. He may use it in your husband’s life, as well, even though you can’t see what He is doing right now.

      Do you need a bit of a break from talking about these things, my friend?

      1. PLM,

        If you are not able to trust God – and you are putting things above God in your heart – I believe that may be the root of the problem. I did the same thing for many years. That doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t have a relationship with God. But, to be able to hear God and for your prayers to be heard – you do have to trust Him fully. The physical act of praying prayers, listening to Christian music, reading your Bible, and hearing sermons isn’t what makes you close to God. You can do all of those things, but if you are cherishing idols in your heart or you don’t trust God – there will be a chasm between you and God. Your fellowship is broken. If you have a relationship with Him, you are still in relationship, but until you turn from your unbelief and the things that are most important to you (that are not God), you will remain stuck where you are.

        I invite you to check out some verses and to ask God to help you in your unbelief and to ask God to give you faith. This journey is not about you DOING all the right things and DOING more stuff. It is about resting in God, trusting Him, and His power working in your life.

        We don’t trust Him so that He will give us what we want. We trust Him so that we can have Him. And then we trust Him with our desires and allow Him to work things out according to His wisdom, timing, and His will.

        Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. James 1:2-8

        Verses about Unbelief

        Verses about Trusting in God

        Verses about Having Faith in God

        Praying for you and your husband daily, my precious sister!

        Much love,
        April

        1. PLM,
          I have been praying specifically for you and your husband each day since the 9th of January. I hope you might check out the post today.

          How are you doing this week?

          Much love!
          April

My grandmother is on hospice and won't be with us much longer (11-30-16). I will get to comments when I am able to but I need to be with family right now. Thanks for understanding.

%d bloggers like this: