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A Husband’s Pain – His Wife’s Body Image Issues

close up woman's eyes

From a husband:


My 50+ year-old wife is truly beautiful by any spiritual or secular standard. After 20 years of marriage and (several) children the sight of her still stirs me, clothed or not. I am constantly telling her how beautiful she is and how incredibly attracted I am to her (from gentle, sincere compliments to ‘you turn me on’). However, most of the time the response is usually quite negative…

  • “I’m fat,”
  • “I’ve gained so much weight…”
  • “I look/this is disgusting “(referring to a small pooch of belly).

If she doesn’t say it with her words, she says it with her body language. I have explained to her how hearing this is like a dagger in my heart and how it affects me, and our relationship. She acknowledges that, but has not changed her perspective.

This negative self-image has cost me/us much joy our marriage.

My feelings of desire, romance or ‘fun’ are crushed by her comments and this attitude. Why can’t she understand that a positive attitude and confidence in her natural beauty are more attractive, romantic and ‘sexy’ than any physical aspect of her body. I (and likely other men) consider a smiling, fun-loving women of any body shape or size more desirable than the most visually perfect woman imaginable. I hear from her/other women that ‘it’s a girl thing’ so there is no attempt to think differently (or get some help).

I don’t know how other men deal with this, but I have become more distant and while I still compliment my wife, it is less frequent. I have grown weary of the negativity around this and my inability to get through.

Add this to the other strains, stress and challenges of marriage and (teenage) children in this culture and the result is a lot less joy than could be, and a lot more tension between us.

Even more discouraging to me is that we are both committed Christians and have spent many years in marriage ministry. People are attracted to us as a positive model of a Christian couple. We have taught (thought not recently) other couples about all of the concepts I have read here on this blog – from the biblical foundation to personality styles, communication and the current male/female brain research that explains so much of the beauty of God’s creation. Love is a decision regardless of day-to-day feelings.

I will always be committed and faithful to my wife in all ways – I just wish/pray/yearn for her to see the truth of her beauty the way I do (along with God and pretty much everyone else).


The topic of body image is a HUGE one.  I am sure many books could be written about it.  There are some husbands who are critical of their wives’ bodies, and that is a whole different topic – another very painful one.

But there are many husbands like this one who truly do see their wives as beautiful and for whom it is extremely painful to hear their wives negate their heart-felt compliments.

Maybe this might help some wives:

When you disagree/argue with your husband when he compliments your looks  – that is actually pretty disrespectful! 

He hears you saying that

  • he is wrong
  • he didn’t choose a wife wisely
  • he is lying
  • something is wrong with him

You are invalidating his attraction to you – and that is extremely self-sabotaging for you and discouraging for him.

When your husband (or anyone- but ESPECIALLY your husband) gives you a compliment, SMILE and say, “Thank you SO much!”

  • Don’t argue!
  • BELIEVE him!  Trust him more than that accusing voice of the enemy that tells you that you are not good enough.  Don’t believe that awful voice!
  • Be thankful.
  • Don’t complain about the flaws you perceive in your body.
  • ENJOY the fact that your man sees you as being so beautiful and be confident in the body God gave you.

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life.  Philippians 2:14-16a

Don’t measure or compare your body to the worldly standards you see in the media.  That is UNHEALTHY!  It may be wise to avoid certain fashion and gossip magazines and worldly magazines that portray women as only being “sexy” if they are a size 0 and have had plastic surgery in many places – not to mention it is wise to avoid those magazines for many other ungodly influences they contain as well.  Those airbrushed pictures are not real.  Even models don’t look like those pictures.  They are fantasy.

It may be wise to avoid that kind of input and focus on pleasing God and our husbands and on things that are actually healthy for us:

  • eating balanced meals with plenty of fresh fruits and veggies
  • eating baked chicken and fish
  • avoiding a lot of fried foods/red meat/cheese/junk food/eating out/desserts
  • walking 5 days a week for 30 minutes/day.

This is the stuff that makes for a healthy life in reality.  Not obsession, not making an idol of being thin or being a certain weight on the scale.  If the scale upset you a lot or you obsess about your weight or about food – it may be better not to have a scale and just focus on a healthy lifestyle.   But remember, food and exercise or being thin cannot be our ultimate goals.  It is EASY to turn food into an idol we seek out for comfort instead of Jesus, or to make idols out of being thin or food/exercise addictions – but we are disciples of Christ.  Pleasing HIM and blessing others are the only motives that really counts for anything.  Allow God to show you any ungodly motives and ask Him to give you a new heart and mind if you are struggling with food/beauty/thinness being an idol.

Remember, your daughters will imitate your body image issues.  I want them to see us confident in Christ, thankful for our bodies – projecting a beautiful image of godly femininity for them to model after! 🙂

If you have concerns… let’s talk about them!  Please leave me a comment. 🙂  We’ll work through this together.


Why Satan Rejoices When You Hate Your Body

One Couple Deals with the Issue of Body Image

Being a Cheerful Receiver

Making the One-Flesh Relationship a Huge Priority in Your Marriage

Do Everything without Arguing or Complaining

47 thoughts on “A Husband’s Pain – His Wife’s Body Image Issues

  1. I’ll start with this statement… wife is beautiful. I’ve shared with her how I feel about her. I’ve learned that unfortunately that she doesn’t always see what I see. Am I wrong? No…it is just a matter of perspective.

    It can be extremely frustrating, however I made a discovery that might help all of us men that are confused. It seems silly, but it seems to provide a little insight to their thought process. Have you ever completed a home improvement project? I tiled a kitchen back splash. People would see the kitchen and compliment me on how great it looked. But I knew it wasn’t perfect. I could point out every crooked tile…every mistake that I had made installing the tile. Nobody would see it. But I knew.

    Now…transition to your wife getting ready in the morning. You are checking out your wife. She looks great. You compliment her and she rolls her eyes. Why? Because she can see every imperfection that she believes that she has or that society tells her she has.

    Men….What do we do? We stay strong. Your wife is beautiful to you; so share that with her often and boldly. But know….we may never be able to convince her of that fact. Our role is to share our feelings in an effort to reinforce the beauty that God has created in our wives.

    1. Paulcochran09,

      I love this! Thank you SO much for sharing!

      And YES. The tile project is a perfect analogy for women and our body image. Every woman has at least one thing that she probably wishes were “better” about her body. But how thankful I am for husbands who are willing to continue to bless their wives and tell them how beautiful they are.

      I remember in my high school English class – our teacher went around the room and asked every person to name one thing he/she didn’t like about his/her body. When she got to one of the most beautiful, popular cheerleaders in the school, I expected her to have nothing to say. We were all shocked when she said, “My neck is too long.” She was very self-conscious about it! NO ONE else saw what she saw. But for her, it was a big issue.

      I pray that the wives might apply Philippians 4:8 to thinking about our bodies – and to remember that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

      I appreciate your comment!

    1. Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this. My am blessed to have a husband who has told me all these things, loved me when I’ve hated myself, and is still helping me through poor self image.

  2. Every woman is insecure with her looks and body. A woman who has had children? Even more so. A 50+ American woman who sees images of youthful perfection and standards of physical and sexual attractiveness at every magazine rack, commercial, movie, tv show, website, billboard and mall window? Constant in her face that this is not how she looks. Everyday. All day. A woman whose husband is drawn to look at those images or in the flesh younger, beautiful women? Crushed, defeated, feeling more than ugly and inadequate beyond words. Your job is to build her up. Your job is to make her shine with that inner beauty only she possess. Your job is to tell her what specifically you find beautiful about her. Your job is to make her know without doubt that you only have eyes for her. Your job is to pursue her and make her feel loved, attractive and desired. Your job is to make her see that she alone is your beauty-always has been, always will be. This is what a wife needs to feel beautiful and it matters coming from only one man.

  3. I am the ugly duckling. Constantly being made fun of for my looks when I was growing up didn’t help me to see that I had become a beautiful woman. It has taken my husband ten years of constant compliments for me to believe that I am beautiful, fat and stretch marks and all! The best part – I believe I am beautiful to him – no one else matters! It doesn’t seem fair to put the burden on the husband, but a little insistence goes a long way. My husband would tell me how pretty I was and I would roll my eyes. But he didn’t stop. There were times when, after I rolled my eyes or denied his compliment, that he would come to me, grab my shoulders, look me in the eye, and emphatically tell me that he thought I was pretty, and he didn’t care what I thought! He has also mentioned his frustration at my denials – how it was an insult to him. Like he didn’t know how to pick a woman! Sometimes it is hard for me to believe that someone could love me so much that they can look past the imperfections. How can he see the blemishes and not care? But that is what he does every day – because they are the blemishes of his wife and the mother of his children. He calls them my “battle scars!” To me, it’s like telling God that he can’t possibly love me because of how black my heart is, because my heart is all He sees. My blemishes and scars are those of a woman who wants nothing more than to please Him, and falls short every day, consumed by sin. Yet, He continues to love me and sees my beauty and all this in spite of my “ugliness.” Not to say I don’t struggle with society’s idea of “beauty” on a regular basis, but beauty is not “skin deep,” it is deep beneath the skin, and only those who truly know you can see your true beauty!

    1. Holly,

      I caught a lot of teasing growing up, too. I can remember a guy getting on the bus when my twin sister and I were in 7th grade and announcing to EVERYONE, “You guys are SO FLAT!!!!!!!” HAHAHAHAHA! And everyone joined in laughing.

      Girls in PE made fun of me for being so pale and for the red dots on my legs that I inherited from my dad.

      The lady at Victoria’s Secret measured my chest and started laughing and said LOUDLY, “We don’t have ANYTHING that will fit YOU!!!!!”

      I have to get my “lingerie” in the little girl’s department to this day – and I am 40 years old. THe great thing is, I can get a bra for $6! The sad thing is, it’s hard to find any that don’t have frogs or rainbows on them!

      So – growing up – I thought “no guy could ever be attracted to me.” “I am not woman enough.” The world says “You need plastic surgery. You are not good enough.” I remember seeing women who had had mastectomies who had much bigger chests than I did.

      Thankfully, my husband always accepted me as I was. He doesn’t give many compliments. But – there have been times I have come to him in tears about my insecurities in the past – and he assured me that I was plenty “woman enough” for him. That meant the world to me!

      Now – I am totally confident in my body. I don’t care what anyone thinks except for God and my husband.

      My husband loves my body. I’m so thankful.

      It is a huge blessing to have a husband who looks at me and sees the beauty in me.

      Thanks so much for sharing, Holly! I can relate!!!!!!

  4. Great post and comments. I am a typical woman critical of her body (especially after breast cancer surgery) who has a loving husband blind to my imperfections. I have learned that to voice negativity is to disrespect my husband’s desire for me. Many times he’s held my face and said ” I love YOU”, tapping the side of my temple. He’s letting me know that I’m NOT this body, but so much more. I think it must be similar to how God views our repentant heart, yet we still see the sins of our past, as near as yesterday. But they are as far as the east is from the west to Him. Ladies, this body is temporary. Let’s smile and give our husbands joy now.

  5. The enemy can whisper daily into our hearts, weaving lies that our husband’s ‘ideal woman’ looks completely different to the one he has. It’s such a struggle but I guess this means that with God’s help and grace we have to stand on the truth – which is, that when God brought us to our husband in marriage, He chose us specifically for that man and declared that we were the ideal woman for him. Praise the Lord for husbands that don’t give up on us and for a heavenly Father who knows best.

    Alison Joy

    1. Allison Joy,

      Thank you so much for sharing! The enemy’s voice is so strong, but he will destroy us if we listen to him. I am thankful our God accepts and loves us and that He is able to create His brand of beauty in our hearts and souls – a beauty that will never fade.

  6. Thank you!! I needed to read this today. My wonderful husband of nearly 17 years has always told me how beautiful I am, and I have always had to roll my eyes or argue with him, knowing full well that I’m far from society’s idea of perfection. But he has been persistent and has proved his love even after two children, weight gain, loss, gain again, AND after five brain surgeries left me bald and barely able to walk!!! I am beyond blessed and now I need to respect his feelings toward me. Thank you again!!!

    1. Wow, Jacque! You have been through a lot! How blessed you are to have a husband who loves you for more than your physical appearance, who loves your heart. What an inspiring story God has given you!

      1. Can I say that I think maybe I know where your wife is coming from. Again, as we have all heard, men and women’s brains are wired differently. I can not describe to you how my bran analyzes so many things in such a specific fashion in mere tenths of a second. EVERYTHING relates to the moment in a woman’s mind. This can mean things that we heard, saw, felt, or experienced decades or minutes ago can rush through my mind at once and I can literally see a grid in my mind as to how they all connect. So, three thoughts on your dilemma:

        1) Sometimes I want a compliment desperately from my husband. I mean desperately. More than I want another lung full of air. Literally. Literally. Additionally, there are certain words I want to hear. Certain words carry more weight than others. To me the ultimate word is “stunning”. But know why? Because I happen to know that he told his ex-wife that she was “stunning” before he and I even knew each other, let alone met and married. I promise you when he says I am “beautiful” it hits my mind like a baseball bat…..but why not stunning? You may think as a man that’s over analyzing. He doesn’t want to use that word “stunning” to compliment her because it reminds him of how hurt I am that he wont use it to describe me. Now to a man that may make perfect sense but to a woman that is crazy. Although I don’t believe that he finds her more attractive or “stunning” than me, he just doesn’t realize how that one word would benefit him and be so worth the effort. That’s the way a woman’s mind is wired. We analyze and we protect our territory. No I can’t help that I think that but I can help how I nurture that thought and what I do with it. Often times I loose and yea it still hurts me but I hope and pray he will someday see how letting that word roll off his lips would heal soooo much. I’m not saying you are using the wrong words at all. But you might want to ponder maybe what words carry what weight based on her past experiences, feelings, etc. Things maybe even that have nothing to do with you. Also when you compliment your wife, do you do it for a certain reaction to make you feel good about your offering of a compliment? I know as women trying to respect our husbands, we have to think about our motives for respecting. Is it truly to give a heart felt compliment and please God or is it to make the husband react like we want? God holds the key as to what words, tone, etc that she needs to hear. He says ask for wisdom and He will give it….in His time.

        2) Sometimes when I get a compliment my knee jerk is to pass it off like I don’t believe it because I immediately feel like if I don’t that I’m being vain and full of myself. Perhaps its a knee jerk reaction for your wife. You may be impacting her more than she lets you know. I’ve tried to be all cool when my husband gives me a compliment so as not to appear to needy because all of us women have heard that it will backfire on us if we act too needy. Also, maybe your wife really believes you but maybe she thinks you wear rose colored glasses. I’m not trying to be full of myself but yea, I am beautiful, but no matter how much “I” believe that sometimes I don’t believe it when my husband says it until I hear a stranger say it. She may just be trying to not be vain with you.

        3) Sometimes as a woman I want my husband to create a pattern before I believe it. Again, we are complex wired. For example, before I believe that my husband thinks I am a good cook, I will have to hear it several times over and again. Like ten times. I’ll have to hear him tell someone else. Otherwise I will think he is just being polite. If heard my husband or someone told me that he told someone I am “stunning”….that would be a positive mile post in our marriage he would never forget. When I say no I’m not as a response to a compliment, I’m really wanting him to insist BIG TIME. Yea, I know that’s a lot of work for a guy, but that’s just the way it is. I would encourage you to ask God to give you specific words or whatever, deliver them in His timing and not just when “you” want to be believed and be consistent. Sometimes that will mean delivering the compliment when you don’t want to. With women there are just a lot of things in our lives (like compliments) where more is better and specific things we need to hear can literally impact your marriage in unbelievable proportions. . When she rebuffs you, realize that she may be believing you and just keep putting it back to her consistently.

  7. I mean to say in my first paragraph, “he doesn’t want to use the word stunning to compliment ME because it reminds him of how hurt I am.” I accidentally said “her” instead of “me”. Yea….this is a perfect example of how we women think and react.

  8. Thank you for this encouraging post. My husband often tells me how beautiful he thinks that I am and how physically attractive he finds me. But I have struggled with my body image for years. My first husband of 8 years cheated on me and abandoned me and my son. I had tried to reconcile our marriage. But he did so very much to tear me down even after he got the divorce for which he fought. My husband, however had a beautiful first marriage. Even after his 1st wife was diagnosed with M.S. that took its toll on her body, she never felt unloved by him, but rather honored, cherished and deeply loved. He was happily married to her for 14 years before she passed very unexpectedly in 2009. I suppose I could use my past as an excuse for feeling so inadequate. After understanding the kind of husband he was to his 1st wife and a year and a half of marriage to a man who has been so godly, nurturing, honoring and loving one might think that I would not reject his compliments by being negative. I never thought of what I might be saying to him or how I may be hurting and dishonoring him by doing this until reading your article……THANK YOU! By God’s grace I pray I will accept his compliments with gratitude and honor him by trusting that he means what he says.

    1. Sarah,
      Thanks so much for sharing your story! I’m so thankful for your husband now and for his character and his love for you. I pray you can heal and savor this beautiful marriage! 🙂

  9. Oh gosh. I love this because I am discovering just how beautiful I really am. A few weeks ago I looked at myself naked in the mirror for a few days (I know it’s weird, but you’ll see why). I was just looking at my body and deciding how I felt about it. Finally after really taking a look I was thinking, “Huh… I’m really not that bad…” Then it dawned on me. I really am sexy. I really am beautiful. I was so overjoyed with my self-discovery that I quickly ran out to my husband, kissed him, and told him just how sexy I felt. It was one of the most wonderful feelings in the world! Because of it, sex has been better, my attitude has been better, and frankly I think my husband feels better too now that I am able to view myself as a beautiful woman.

    I also suggest to women to read the book Captivating by John and Stasi Elderedge. That is my current read. I’m only on chapter 2 and I’m discovering so much about my type of womanhood.

    Another point I want to illustrate that I learned from the book and for myself is that we each have our own womanhood. God created us with inherent desires and then transformed them into the woman that you see yourself as today. I am who I am. I am not April. I am not my mom. I am not my sisters or the Pastor’s wife. I am my own woman. With this knowledge, I have my own desires. I have my own passions and self-worth. I am my own beautiful. YOU are your own beautiful.

    I have so much more to learn, but I am excited to see what else God does with this.

    I pray for all of you. Beauty is you. You are the essence of beautiful. You are the crown of creation. The Lord made you as such. Behave as His beautiful crown of creation.

    1. Mrs. Anaya,
      I love this!!!!

      I wonder if you might allow me to anonymously post this sometime? I know many wives will be greatly blessed!!! 🙂

      I love what God is doing in you!

  10. Best wishes to anyone struggling with body image issues. They are so painful. I fought with this for most of my life, to the point where I would have characterized it as a borderline eating disorder. I’d like to recommend this book that helped me more than any other: “How Much Does Your Soul Weigh?” by Dorie McCubbrey. It was the first thing I read that made me think I could someday live as though I’d never had this problem. And guess what? I pretty much do! It was a gradual change and occasionally I still have “fat days” but the obsession that once practically ruled my life is gone. Also, the idea (recently discovered via blogs like this one) that the only other human whose opinion I have to worry about is my husband’s has been a huge relief to me. I’m healthy, he finds me attractive and I don’t have to impress anyone else. And yes, my husband is much happier, too, now that I thank him instead of contradicting him when he compliments me and he doesn’t have to fight a losing battle to convince me I look good. I think it did hurt his feelings when I would argue with him before.

  11. So, I struggle with not receiving many compliments from my husband about my body. I’m not super confident with my body but I’m also not obsessed with it and I would believe him if he were to tell me occasionally. I’ve had 2 kids and one is just a few months old, so I try not to be too hard on myself and I still exercise, etc. If I ask my husband, he tells me he loves my body. But he rarely says anything unless I ask! Of course I have tried gently telling him I would like some more reassurance but he’ll feel as if I’m criticizing him or complaining, which I don’t want to do! Sometimes for fun I’ll try to show my body off to him by walking around in something skimpy and he’ll just smile or something but still no compliments! What is up with that? How do I get more encouragement from him to keep walking around naked 😉

    1. P,

      Not all husbands are super verbal. My husband doesn’t give many compliments either. I used to be really upset about that. But then I noticed that a lot of husbands who are liberal with compliments tend to be liberal with criticism, too. Hmm… maybe Greg not being so verbal could be a blessing! 🙂

      If he smiles at you – that is him telling you he loves what he sees. So, go ahead and be confident and enjoy sharing your body with him. He obviously loves your body and you very much. 🙂

      Ask him sometimes if you want to hear what he thinks, and then enjoy his answer.

      Thank him and light up when he does smile or say anything wonderful about your body. That may encourage him to do it again. 🙂

  12. Great post, April. My wife is as beautiful to me as when I first met her in the summer of 75, but she always poo-poo’s my compliments of her beauty. I dont think she realizes how much it would make my day to hear her say thank you.

    1. Eloceac33,

      She probably has no idea what a blessing that would be for her to just joyfully and graciously receive your compliment. But, she may be open to hearing about it? 🙂

  13. I think, sometimes, although men are considered more visual (and visually stimulated) than women, women can be a little more “superficial”. Men are initially attracted to physical beauty but if they believe a women appears too “stuck up” or “high maintenance”, they will pass her over. Women, however, tend to look for physical attractiveness in a man and not consider (until later) other factors about him.

    Because it can sometimes be so high on our list, we assume it’s high on theirs. But there are so many more things that our husbands find attractive about us than just physical beauty, and those things make us physically beautiful to our men.

    I’m not saying all women make physical attractiveness a top factor, but it is definitely something we think about. And if we DON’T think about it, why do we assume our men ARE?

      1. Peacefulwife,
        Thank you so much for this blog. For years, through two previous marriages, I was made to feel that I was ugly, fat, and undesirable. I am remarried and my husband of 15 years has had a rough road with me on body image. I have been small and been large. I am currently at a weight that I’ve never been in my life except when I was pregnant with my son. And that has been a hard thing to accept. I am thankful for a godly husband who has loved me no matter what I look like, who has complimented me thousands of times over the years, who has been patient with me and worked his hardest to put to death the words of my ex-husbands.
        This article has really opened my eyes to how I tear myself down, especially with God. I will be re-reading this and praying over the issues that I have had.
        I do have to say that a year ago the Lord began a work in me, healing me of much of my past, and I have been able to be content with myself where I am now. Do I want to lose weight? Yes. But to be healthy, not to be a certain size. I have found that showing self-confidence in the bedroom does help and a man truly does love a confident partner no matter her size. Something else that helped me was that my husband insisted I buy myself some pretty things: undergarments, a nightie, so that I could feel pretty now, even at the size I am. That has done wonders for my body image. Because in all commercials, ads, and t.v. shows you see women who are size 0, never a full figured woman, modeling pretty or sexy things. So I never even knew there were pretty or sexy things for plus size women. I do now and I encourage others to seek them out too. They aren’t the answer in and of themselves, but they do help with not feeling “frumpy”.

        1. Kerri,
          I praise God that He is healing your heart, and what a wonderful husband you have! So many wives only get a compliment once a year or so. You are very blessed to have had thousands of compliments from your husband! :). I can’t wait to see what God has in store for you!!!

  14. I love all your post and I’m so glad hear that you have awesome husbands who compliment and love you so much. But what I do when I have a good husband who has admitted that he loves me but yet doesn’t like my body he never did. His ideal body type is hourglass shaped and I am and wasn’t wheb we married anywhere near that. It doesn’t help that I have gained weight since we’ve married. It’s not because I don’t eat healthy or try to take care of myself either. It’s because I am sick and the medication I take causes me to gain weight. No other medicine has worked. This is my second marriage and we’ve only been married for 1 year. I feel so alone and ashamed. Divorce is out of the question for me but how do I deal with feeling so undesired and unwanted for the rest of my life.

    1. Insecure,

      Yuck, that is a miserable situation.

      I guess I am a bit confused, though. What was your husband’s plan going into the marriage if he was not attracted to your body?

      Did y’all have godly marriage counseling and talk about this before marriage?

      So he loves you, but just doesn’t feel attracted to you? What does he say and do because of this?

      How do you respond?

      Do you have a godly wife mentor or trusted biblical counselor?

      What does your doctor say about the medicine and the weight gain? Have you talked with the doctor about other possible options or about ways to control the weight if this drug is absolutely necessary?

      Are y’all having intimacy at all?

      My heart breaks for your pain! I wish I could give you a big hug, my precious, beautiful sister!

      You may want to also check out the post on my other blog today – it is about not finding security in outer beauty, but in Christ alone.

  15. Any kind of meat, chicken and fish included, are really not healthy for you. They are super high in acidity which ages you quicker. Just pointing that out because you mentioned that chicken and fish are healthy, but they are really not, God intended us to live amongst the animals, not eat them.

    Here, a reputable scienctist refutes all the claims of meat being good for you, with scientific studies (what most doctors, or articles online won’t tell you).

  16. I know this is a much older post, but it really spoke to me. I have struggled with poor body image my whole life. My husband of 10+ years has always be so complimentary of my looks, and has done many things to try to boost my view of myself. Two weeks ago, I made yet another negative comment about myself, which led to a big argument. He feels the comment was the “straw that broke the camel’s back” and he since feels unable to continue with the positive reinforcement. Although he does say he loves me and the life we have together, all physical intimacy is gone because of this. I am so unsure what to do and worry this spells the end of our relationship. I’m curious as to what you would advise…

    1. Vanessa,

      If you would like to find healing in Christ for this issue, I would be glad to walk beside you and show you the baby steps. I have seen God heal a number of women from this same snare of the enemy that is so self-sabotaging.

      Much love to you!

      1. Vanessa,

        The first step – if you are interested – is for us to do a spiritual check up so I can get a feel for any toxic thinking you may be embracing that needs to be replaced with God’s healing truth.

        Take your time to answer these questions -from the heart, not the head:

        1. What is your relationship with Christ like?

        2. How do you believe you can be right with God?

        3. Where do you find your worth?

        4. What are your greatest fears?

        5. What are your most precious dreams?

        6. What do you most desire in your relationship with God?

        7. Are you willing to change anything God asks you to change and to lay down any fixed beliefs that are not true?

        8. Do you know why you have struggled with body image? Were there some hateful things said to you when you were young?

        The next steps will be some reading assignments:

        1. Identifying the Lies We Have Embraced – let me know which lies you think may plague you the most as you have time.
        2. Body Image posts. A number of the comments may also be helpful.
        3. Please search “insecurity” and “security” and read some of the posts on my home page.

        Much love to you!

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