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Blessing Your Husband

We talked recently about not smothering our husbands with demands and too much attention to the point that we are trying to force them to give us the attention we want.  So, now, lets talk about some ways to bless our husbands with our attention.  Of course, each husband will have his own personality and preferences.  Some of these things won’t minister to your particular man, and some will.  Here are some ideas. You are welcome to share your ideas, too!

But here is the key:

Do these things ONLY to bless your husband and to please Jesus.  DO NOT expect any certain reaction or response from your husband!!!!

  • Offer him his favorite drink when he gets home from work
  • Welcome him home with a big smile, hug and kiss
  • Let him talk about things he is interested in and be interested in learning more about what he is into – football, hunting, work, guys’ stuff
  • Sit with him as he watches tv or as he works in the garage or as he is fishing and just smile at him and enjoy being with him.  Let him decide when to talk and what to talk about during these times that you give to bless him.
  • Make his favorite meal sometimes
  • Graciously give him space and time to himself to recharge if he needs that
  • Wear something you know he likes to see you in – maybe something feminine and beautiful
  • Wear your hair the way he likes it sometimes
  • Listen when he is talking
  • Thank him for sharing his ideas and wisdom
  • Approach him in a feminine way when you need help (instead of telling him what to do with directives), “Honey, I have a problem…”  “I’m not sure what to do about…”  “Would you please help me with X, I just can’t seem to get it to work right.”  Remember to SMILE and use a pleasant tone of voice and facial expression!
  • Stop doing chores and go snuggle with him on the couch – if he is open to you touching him.
  • Be receptive to his advances.
  • Offer him a massage (if you know he won’t feel pressured)
  • Pick up a special treat for him at the grocery store – if you are within budget
  • Pray for him in private for God to bless him and give him wisdom to lead your family.  Pray for his career, his health, his relationship with Christ, his ministry, everything – in a humble way that is full of thanksgiving and appreciation for this man being in your life.
  • SMILE A LOT – for no reason other than to bless him, and, of course, to show the joy and peace of Christ in your heart!
  • Tell him when you are happy, thankful, joyful and appreciative
  • Thank him for the things he does for you and the family – every time he does something
  • Let him know you appreciate that he works to provide financially for the family (if he has a job)
  • Seek to respond in the power of God’s Spirit when he makes mistakes – so that you can respond with genuine grace, mercy and forgiveness.  (If there are serious issues, please seek godly counsel ASAP!)
  • Let him know you have faith in him (only do this if you can do it sincerely!)
  • Think Philippians 4:8 things about him – focus on the good, not the bad
  • Initiate sex once or twice a week if your husband would appreciate that
  • If your husband hates to be sexually pressured, back off and be gracious as you wait receptively for him. (If there are serious issues, please seek the appropriate help)
  • Say positive things about your husband to other people, including your children
  • Don’t criticize your husband or put him down to anyone.
  • Bring him a cup of coffee in bed in the morning if he likes coffee.
  • Support his parenting decisions – especially in front of the children!
  • Instead of making demands or giving directives – try giving suggestions and requests
  • Honor his God-given leadership (unless he is asking you to clearly sin – then you must respectfully refuse to do what he asks in order to obey God)
  • Do things that make you happy!  When you are well-rested and have done some things that bring you joy (exercise, spend time with God, have lunch with a friend, etc) you have more joy to share with your man!

12 thoughts on “Blessing Your Husband

  1. Thanking God again for leading me to this blog. God is using your words to change me and heal my marriage! What a blessing. I’m overwhelmed with joy.

  2. All of these are great ideas! One of my favorite things to do for my husband is to take care of his feet. I’ll get a big bowl of steaming hot water, wash cloths, foot scrub, a pumis stone, and lotion and spend a good 1-2 hours getting all the dead skin off, washing them, massaging them and moisturizing them. I know people who think it’s gross, but it’s honestly very intimate to me and I feel so humbled while I’m doing it.

  3. I first of all want to thank you for your list. These are some of the things I felt God asking me to do. I do have a question though. I understand these are things I am doing to bless my husband. I have been trying to keep that in mind and I have noticed that he is softening to me as a result. One area that I need to work on is the last one.
    “Do things that make you happy! When you are well-rested and have done some things that bring you joy (exercise, spend time with God, have lunch with a friend, etc) you have more joy to share with your man!”
    We have a large family, I work full-time, and homeschool our kids, and if I ask for my husband’s help and don’t get it, and the kids don’t get things done for/with me, I am stuck picking up the slack. This has always been the case. I have a hard time knowing what I can leave to the side so that I can do something for me, or sleep which is what I need more than ever now.
    It seems that I have done this my whole life: work really hard, do as much as is possible to do, put off taking care of me…until I get sick with mono, sinus infection or something and then when I’m better, do it again. I went in to the doctor and he shrugged and said you’re sick, get better soon.
    I have asked my husband for time set aside for me to do things for me, or take a nap but if he doesn’t help me with that then I feel guilty just taking the time and leaving the kids with him without clearing it with him. Plus, if I stay home during that time the kids still come to me with their needs. What suggestions can someone give me to help me get enough sleep and have some time for myself too?

    1. K,

      As your husband feels more respected and honored as the leader – I would imagine that eventually he will probably be more willing to help – especially if he finds that you don’t criticize his help but appreciate him for it.

      How old are your children?

      You could try asking your husband what he thinks you can take off of your plate and then remove whatever he says! 🙂

      You will need to take better care of YOU so that you have reserves and strength and time with God to be able to pour out on your family.

  4. Hi April
    Well I sure blessed my husband this week. I argued and complained and freaked out over minor stuff all week. I had to keep apologizing and catching myself. I’m doing better now but I had a few bad days. Wow. To think I was always thAt way and never stopped myself or apologized before. No wonder he would camp in front of the tv all the time he was home. He was avoiding me. This time was different. He forgave me and told me it’s gonna be ok and comforted me!!!! He felt bad ffor me that I had no peace. He didn’t take it personally. Thank goodness. I told him he’s a wonderful husband and friend and I hate talking to him that way but I panic when I’m not in control. He hugged me . That helped me to calm down and relax and give my fears to God. I have a terrible problem with disrespect but now I’m seeing just how fear based it is and so is he. Staying focused on God is hard some days. But when I don’t all this junk comes out of me. Praying he heals my heart. Thanks for your posts. They help so much.

    1. Marie,

      What a blessing to have such a supportive, patient, kind, loving husband! That is AWESOME! Yes, it is scary when you realize what you were doing. And it is frustrating when you realize you can’t stop what you were doing even when you want to. It drives us to our knees, realizing we are completely desperate for God’s Spirit to do the work in us that we cannot do on our own.

      Yes, control is totally fear based. Thankfully, God’s perfect love casts out every fear!

  5. I will admit this was hard to read. I struggle with feeling like we are more than roommates. We work opposite shifts, have 3 kids and 1 more on the way. We are both exhausted all the time. We’ve been married for 13 yrs and our whole marriage we’ve worked opposite shifts. It won’t be unusual to not see each other all week. This week for example I’ve gotten 5 text messages about what he’s done around the house and that’s the extent of our communication. I don’t feel like there is even a relationship much less the desire to do anything special. l have struggled with this our whole marriage but if I say something about it he just rolls his eyes. How do you create a desire for your spouse when you just feel like you are nothing more than roommates and never talk or are together? He isn’t a talker has no problem not talking ever. This is a real struggle for me and thus makes it hard to try and reach out.

    1. Kathleen,

      My heart aches for you! I worked nights as a pharmacist for 2 years in the beginning of our marriage. That made things SO MUCH HARDER!!!! I really pray that the one on night shift might be able to find a day shift job. I think you would all rest better and have actual time together. That is important! I know it may not be possible. But I pray God might make a way according to His will.

      What things speak most to him. What does he like? A certain meal? Your hair a certain way? Sitting together side by side and bonding quietly?

      How much time do you have together each week would you say? When are you both home at the same time?

      This is SUCH IMPORTANT stuff. I pray you might both move toward each other.

      If you haven’t – check out the posts at the top of my home page about disrespect, respect, biblical submission and signs that a husband is feeling disrespected.

      Let me know what you believe God is speaking to you. And we can work on this together if you would like. 🙂

  6. Love this list of ideas! One thing I always try to do is make sure I’m dressed for him when he comes home from work. It’s so easy for me to stay in exercise clothes or some days even a pair of pajamas! Lol! But I know he loves to see me dressed nicely with my hair fixed and makeup on. He tells me he loves me and he’d take me anyway he can get me, even if I were in a burlap bag, but I see the difference in how his eyes light up when I look and feel good. 🙂

My grandmother is on hospice and won't be with us much longer (11-30-16). I will get to comments when I am able to but I need to be with family right now. Thanks for understanding.

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