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My Worry Insults God

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Hang on, girls!  This one is a painful one.  It’s going to step on all our toes.  Please approach this post with a prayerful attitude of contrition – asking God to expose any ungodly areas in your soul and uprooting them – making room for His Spirit to have full reign in your heart!

WHAT IS WORRY?

Here is are the definitions at dictionary.com

wor·ry

verb (used without object)

1.  to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret.

a synonym would be to have “anxiety”

Worry = fear.  It is the opposite of faith.

WHAT DOES JESUS SAY ABOUT WORRY?
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  And why do you worry about clothes?  See how the lilies of the field grow.  They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, “What shall we eat?”  or “What shall we wear?”  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore o not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.  Matthew 6:25-34
According to your faith will it be done to you.  Matthew 9:29
And (Jesus) did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.  Matthew 13:58
WHAT WAS JESUS’ EXAMPLE?
I think about Jesus’ life and the example He gave for us of living by faith in God.  He knew for years that He had come to die on the cross.  He knew exactly when it would happen.  He knew exactly what would happen.  He knew how bad it would be physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  He knew that His Holy soul would take on all the sin of the entire world for all time.
I think it is amazing that He only began to really experience the weight of what was coming  in an emotional/spiritual/mental/physical way the night before His crucifixion.  He didn’t worry.  He talked about how it would happen – not that the disciples understood Him.  And that night, those several hours before He was arrested, He began to pray so intensely that He actually was sweating blood (which has happened to other people, by the way, under extreme stress).
It’s easy to think that, “Oh, well, Jesus was perfect, He is God – so it wasn’t a big deal for Him to go through all of that suffering.”
But He was human!  And He was holy and sinless.  I think the most horrifying thing for Him was bearing our sin on Himself and losing that precious connection with His Father.  I don’t think we can truly appreciate the scale of the weight of the sin He had to carry for us.  To go from complete holy perfection to ” bearing the awesome weight of sin.  Every bitter thought, every evil deed crowning His blood stained brow” to “take the blame, bear the cost” so that “we stand forgiven at the cross.” (The Power of the Cross – by the Gettys).
He did that for us.  He bore up under the weight and strain and swallowed the grave and death in victory on our behalf.
And to think, He didn’t worry about all that was to come.  And He KNEW what was coming.
We don’t know. 
We sometimes think we know – but we don’t know what is ahead.  Only God knows that.
IN MARRIAGE – I MUST CHOOSE BETWEEN CONTROL AND INTIMACY
Laura Doyle describes in “The Surrendered Wife” that a woman can either try to have control in her marriage or she can have intimacy – they are opposites.  If you choose one, you can’t have the other.
If I place myself as being in charge of the marriage and try to control my husband – he will be repelled from me.  God designed him to be the head, the authority, the leader and for a man to follow his wife – he would have to be a very spiritually/emotionally unhealthy man.  A healthy man would balk at his wife trying to boss him around and control him.  And he should! (A wife would not enjoy being ordered about by her husband, either – he is to lead selflessly, with humility and love, honoring his wife and treating her tenderly according to scripture.)  That’s not God’s design.  So he will either unplug and go passive or he will become angry.  A wife does not gain intimacy with her man by attempting to be an authority over him.  Acting like his angry mother will make him shut you completely out of his heart and soul, and make him want to rebel against you.
If I desire intimacy with my husband – then I must choose NOT to try to take control of the marriage and of him.  The parallels with our relationship with Christ are so amazing.  For me to experience real intimacy and relationship in my marriage, my husband MUST see my faith in him as a man, my trust in him, my respect for him, and he must hear my praises for him.  THAT is how a woman draws a man to herself.  The wife represents the church and the husband represents Christ in marriage. (Ephesians 5:22-33)
WITH CHRIST, I MUST CHOOSE FAITH OR WORRY
It’s a similar scenario in our relationship with Christ.  I either choose to try to have control over God and my relationship with God (placing myself in the place of God – saying I am god.  I’m in charge.  This is all my responsibility.  So I need to worry about it and make it all work out because it all depends on ME) or I can have faith in Him.
Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.  Hebrews 11:6
If I choose worry – notice above when Jesus couldn’t do many miracles in Nazareth because of the people’s lack of faith.  And when He did do miracles, it was always in proportion to the person’s faith.  My faith in Christ opens the door for His power to be unleashed in my life. 
If my faith is super small, Jesus can’t do much in my life.  When my faith is small, it means my picture of Him is small, and my picture of myself is HUGE.  I think I am in charge, not Him.  I don’t understand Who He really is!
Worry doesn’t accomplish anything good.  In fact, the medical community now has countless ailments that are directly attributed to the changes in our bodies’ chemistry when we concentrate and meditate on worry and negative things.  Our immune system weakens measurably, our blood pressure goes up, we make more coritsol which further weakens the immune system and causes us to gain fat around the middle (contributing to diabetes), we get irritable, we get migraine headaches, we have so much adrenaline that we make more stomach acid and end up with ulcers, our brain chemistry changes and serotonin production is lowered as we think about negative things and we are depressed, our heart rate speeds up…  and the list goes on!
God wants us to live by faith.  We are literally cursed when we live in fear, doubt and worry.  And the opposite is true when we live by faith!  When we live by faith, and meditate on good things, and are thankful and forgiving, our blood pressure is better, we dont’ make too much cortisol or adrenaline, our heart rate is normal, our immune system actually is boosted, our serotonin levels go up (making us feel happier), we don’t have so many migraines, ulcers, infections, etc…  The choices we make in our thoughts DIRECTLY affect the brain chemistry and physiology of our bodies!  Our bodies, hearts and souls are connected.
How a man thinks in his heart, so is he!” Prov 23:7
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34 thoughts on “My Worry Insults God

  1. That is exactly what I have been doing over the past 8 years. Worrying about finances and taking care of everything including my husbands health, business finances and mothering and nursing him! I know without a shadow of a doubt this is why he has shutdown. But the enlightening I have received from the Lord and with all that He continues to reveal to me on a daily basis, I know He is about to break through my stubbornness. ..I surrender it all to Him!

    1. LearningtoLean,

      That is how I lived my whole life until a few years ago. It is AWESOME the way that God can take all of our burdens and the weight we cannot bear and we can trust Him and let Him hold all of that. Understanding His sovereignty is SO key! And, understanding how little I actually can control and how tiny, small and wimpy I am. 🙂

      I am THRILLED about what God is showing you, my precious sister! Sending you the biggest hug today!

  2. Wonderful article! It’s all about our trust in Jesus Christ…is He Lord or not? Giving up control is also very refreshing to know the Lord is talking care of you. Worry=stressful

    “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

    1. Melodie,

      SO TRUE! I personally had to decide “Is God big enough and ‘sovereign enough’ to handle this fear, that fear, this worry, that situation…?” And then lay the weight on Him. It brought SO MUCH freedom, peace and lightness of heart! He does give rest to those who trust Him. 🙂

      Beautiful!

  3. This topic is great u was that person that didn’t allow him to do his work I was always in the way thinking I know everything stubbornness afraid impatient but know Taft have allow god to be in control if my life and surrounder myself to him I’m see the woman that am suppose to be. The Lord is working wonders in my life and relationship he’s the only way.. April thanks for doing what you do for us out here its a blessing to have someone like you your directions and words has help me in s lots of ways on how I handle people around md and things.. God bless

    1. Nyillah,

      My sweet girl! Thank you for sharing what God is doing in your life. I am so excited! I can’t wait to see all He has in store for you. 🙂 You’re very welcome – God amazes me. I have to give Him all the glory for anything good that happens in my life and here on the blog. It is all about Him. 🙂

      Much love to you!

  4. I can completely understand why He wants us not to worry, and that *technically* we don’t need to, because one way or another, He can make Good come out of the bad things which happen as a result of the fallenness of the world or from people’s sinful free will.

    BUT.

    Worry can make us prudent.

    Worry can spur us to do better to avoid an unwanted situation.

    Anxiety can inspire harder work.

    And so even this can be used ‘for the good of those who love Him’.

    Because I baulk at the idea that my loving, Heavenly Father would be ‘insulted’ if I worry. My earthly father may roll his eyes and sigh a little when I worry about something he has under control, but understands that it’s not about HIM, it’s about ME. And he’d like to help improve the situation but knows that getting huffy and offended is unlikely to make much difference.

    So much more so would I hope that Abba would bear with me patiently, rolling His eyes, knowing He has it covered, but understanding that I’ll take a little time to understand that.

    1. Lizzi,

      Thank you for your comment!

      You make some interesting arguments.

      I used to live in constant and incessant worry. Every waking moment. Probably because I lived as if everything depended on me – as if I were somehow “sovereign” and God was not. I had being in control as an idol. And I was so full of pride – it is just insane.

      There are times that fear is healthy. Fear of God. That is the beginning of wisdom. Fear of heights keeps us from falling over the edge because we don’t want to get too close.

      There is such a thing as prudence and godly wisdom, obviously. I believe that those things protect us. I don’t think worry is part of that at all.

      Yes, fear and anxiety can be extremely powerful motivators. That is why so many moms use those things to try to motivate their children – and their husbands. Fear, anxiety and guilt are what humans try to use to motivate others when they can’t motivate them by love and faith.

      But is it possible for something that is born out of a lack of trust in God pleasing to God?

      And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6
      – everything that does not come from faith is sin. Romans 14:23b

      There is a process of learning to trust – it is a lifelong journey of growing in faith and deepening our faith as God empowers us to.

      But – look at what happened with Israel when they did not trust God to provide victory for them when He commanded them to go into the promised land and He promised He would be with them. They were too worried and afraid about the giants in the land and they did not believe God and did not trust Him. His anger burned against them and He didn’t let any of them who had no faith enter His paradise. He still provided for them and led them – but He allowed them to die in the desert. They missed God’s greatest blessings and promises because they would not believe and trust Him.

      Worry is a signal we are not trusting God. Unbelief is the most serious of all sins.

      The world’s sin is unbelief in Me. John 16:9

      For me, worry developed out of my small, wimpy picture of God, a lack of understanding and trust in His sovereignty. And it developed out of a prideful sense of power in myself. As if I was wise and strong enough to handle things on my own.

      Worry, for me, always meant trying to figure things out for the future by myself – as if God wouldn’t be there with me. That is definitely insulting to God and shows a great lack of faith on my part – not to mention, by worrying, I was directly disobeying Jesus’ command NOT to worry but to trust God.

      I’m sure He does understand it will take time for us – the dust that we are – to understand more and more fully.

      But – worry can be a symptom of many very serious sins – so I want to be careful not to gloss over any of that.

      Maybe your worry is different from mine? I obviously don’t know your situation.

      But I do know that many things that I didn’t ever used to even blink at were actually very sinful on my part and extremely disrespectful towards God on my part.

      I am thankful that God does have such a rich supply of mercy and grace – we all need it desperately!

      There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. I John 4:18

      Much love to you!

      1. PS

        Now, I know that worry – if it springs up – is a sign for me that I am not allowing God’s Spirit to be in control of my life. When He is in control – I have peace – unbelievable peace. Super, duper addictive peace.

        It is my prayer that God might help you to trust more and more and to experience that peace, too, my precious sister! 🙂

      2. April,

        I totally agree with you on this. I didn’t realize how much pride I had in my heart until someone pointed it out to me. As God has been working hard on ridding my heart of so much pride and rebellion, I’ve started to worry less. I have begun to see that most of my issues stem from my lack of trust in God and my need for control. We can’t ignore our responsibilities or be foolish and just God to fix it, but when we strive to live in ways pleasing to him, we can trust Him to do what is best for us.

        1. Trixie,

          It’s pretty shocking how blind we can be to pride. I sure was! There is so much freedom and so many blessings doing things God’s way. I’m very happy about what He is doing in you! SO BEAUTIFUL! 🙂

          Yes, we do have responsibilities – the really important thing for me was to see where my responsibilities end (with my own sin, my attitudes, my words, my behavior, myself). And, thankfully, God is sovereign, even over me – it is such a wonderful thing to know that no one can take me out of God’s sovereignty, not even myself! 🙂

          Living in trust in God is the most amazing place to be in the world. 🙂

          Thanks for sharing your heart!

      3. Lizzi,
        I really should not be trying to type and get supper ready!

        So… when I discovered what things are disrespectful to husbands – I was amazed that so many of the same exact things are things we do to God that are disrespectful to Him, too. I had NO CLUE that dozens of things I did and said were disrespectful and hurtful to my husband. And I had NO CLUE that things I was doing ALL DAY EVERY WAKING MOMENT were sinful in God’s sight.

        I have a video about ways we disrespect our husbands and God on youtube.

        It can be pretty overwhelming at first to realize all the things that are sin in God’s holy eyes. So very many things I have done and said and thought deeply grieve His heart and offend Him. I seriously owe Him BILLIONS of “sin dollars.” not just a couple thousand like I used to think.

        What God helped me to do was to begin to actually dissect my motives. He is concerned with my every motive. I must do the right thing for the right reason. Anything else is sin.

        God was so gracious to me – He put me through 5 months of constant testing. As soon as I committed to learning to submit to Greg and to Jesus and devoting myself to obeying Him fully, holding nothing back – He began a series of intense tests about my greatest fear about submission.

        I didn’t want to work more as a pharmacist. I wanted to be home with my young 3 year old baby girl. I hated my job at Walgreens – it was SO STRESSFUL. Our tech hours were cut severely, and I felt like I was always drowning in quicksand at work, so much was expected, and there was never enough time. I got cussed out constantly by patients but I was often totally alone, trying to fill 30 prescriptions an hour and run two drive through windows and two registers, call insurance companies, give vaccines, call doctors, etc… I had a panic attacks for days before i would go in to work.

        I didn’t want to work at all. I wanted to be home and be a mom – I just knew that was God’s will for me. My husband had always pushed for me to work more hours. My hours had been cut from 24 per week to 8 per week, and I was so afraid he would want me to look for a new job with more hours.

        Every month – out of the blue – a different company would contact me and offer me a pharmacist job with more hours. UGH! I would tell Greg I trusted him to decide what he thought was best – if he really thought I needed to work more, or not. At first, I would totally panic and worry incessantly, trying to figure out what I would do and what might happen and how I would make it if I had to be away from my children more and fighting off resentment about having to work more…. But, in time, I learned to rest in God’s peace and not freak out. Eventually, every month, Greg would allow me to make the decision myself. He would see me in tears for days about working more – and he eventually would say – after a week or two – “It’s up to you. You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to.” By the last two months of this, I actually was able to just rest and not worry. I was able to realize that God could change my husband’s heart and God had the power to communicate His will to my husband. And if God wanted me to work, that is what I would do. And if God wanted me home, He was big enough to have me there.

        It does take practice and actually stepping out in faith and flinging yourself off of what seems like a huge cliff to trust God to lead us through our husbands and to trust that He can take us through our biggest fears.

        I had to write down all of my fears and mentally and spiritually wrestle with each one and decide that I could trust God if He allowed that fear to happen.

        Much love to you, my sweet friend!

        1. OH!

          And – when I would worry – I had these “tapes” that would play over and over and over in my head. I couldn’t stop them.

          But a few weeks after I began to determine to obey God no matter what – I realized, “I don’t have a tape playing in my head trying to figure everything out. I am not obsessing about anything. Wow. This must be what peace feels like!” It was amazing.

          Then I filled up that space with praises to God. Now I use all that empty space to think of posts and to think of responses to emails.

          It is the most freedom I have ever experienced to come out from that prison of worry and fear and run into God’s glorious freedom, peace and joy.

          It’s ok! Let’s open that dungeon door, Lizzi, and we will run out together. 🙂

  5. Hie, April! I really thank God for making it possible for me to have come across your blog. It has really taught me alot about God and marriage.
    As someone who is about to get married soon, i find your article helpful cos i really think that i need to be aware of these marriage issues before i get married.
    Your are really helping alot of women around the world.
    May the Lord bless u!

  6. WOW! I really love this post! Before I came to know who Jesus Christ was two years ago I had learned the hard way that worrying gets you nowhere in a real quick kind of way. If anything it left you feeling more stressed out beyond max, sick and it never accomplish anything so why even bother! Which in return turn me into a very nonchalant kind of person the world could blow up and I be like eh whatever. But ever since I have come to know who Jesus Christ is I have learned about balance. That I don’t need to be so extreme or so non extreme that I can lay my worries down at my Father’s feet He and will take care of everything for me! That doesn’t mean that sometimes I don’t panic but God is quick to remind me I got it my Child give it all to me now and I am more than happy to oblige because I know without doubt in my mind He can do way better of job with whatever is at hand than I can. God Bless To All….

  7. Thank you, thank you! This is definitely something I need to work on.

    In fact, I recently put these scriptures up where I can see them all day:

    “Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6)

    “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)

    “In all things God works for the good of those who love Him…” (Romans 8:28)

    I worry about many different things, big and small. Some of my biggest and most consistent worries are the future, money, getting old, being alone, etc.

    This is something I really, really need to break. I want to show Jesus that I trust Him and I do believe He can handle anything that comes my way. Thanks for this post! 🙂

  8. Thank sooooo much, i really needed this! Sometimes I feel God has sent the link to your website to pull me out from my broken emotional life.
    1

  9. I tend to be very full of faith in God when situations go awry, financial concerns abound, or conflict is present, and I need Him to intervene somehow. I trust that He will be there and in control of everything.

    However…when it comes to other SILLY things like being claustrophobic, I can’t shake it. I have a terrible time in elevators and will avoid them at ALL costs. Flying has not been an option for me over the years but in less than a month, I’m going to have to fly and I’m not at all sure how I’m going to get through it, the idea that I’m in this little small plane that I can’t get out of. In an effort to be transparent, I do have a bottle of Xanax just in case, but I’d really like to speak truth into the situation, truth that fear is from Satan and God’s peace will fill every part of me. I’ve prayed over this for years and I’m still hopeful that one day my “faith as small as a mustard seed” will grow into an overwhelming faith that has no fear at all.

    1. Melissa,

      I am really thankful that you are trusting God in so many important ways! That is awesome!!!!!

      I do understand anxiety about being on an airplane. And my poor little brother wouldn’t get on an elevator for years after we got stuck on one in a dr’s office and the fire alarm kept going off. He was only about 3 at the time. So we all walked 5 flights of stairs to our dr’s office every week for our allergy shots for years after that.

      For me, what helps even with these kinds of anxieties – is to write out every single fear and thought you are telling yourself.

      If you would like to tell me the thoughts – I will be glad to help you replace those thoughts and counter them with the truth of God.

      Example – this is literally the kind of conversation I would have with myself in a situation like this:

      “This plane could totally crash and we could all die.”
      – Yes, that is possible. Of course, it is not probable. But God is sovereign over the number of days of my life. I am going to trust Him to either protect me and get me to the place we are going safely, or if He does decide to take me home to be in heaven with Him today, that is ok. Either way, I will be ok.
      “If I were to get really hurt or paralyzed or lose one of my family members – that would be the worst case scenario!”
      – I don’t want anyone in my family to die or be injured. And I don’t want to be injured or to die. God is sovereign over this pilot and this plane and my life. This plane cannot take me out of the sovereign, loving hands of God. If God does allow one of my family members to die or to be severely injured – I know that He can and will use it for my ultimate good, our ultimate good and His ultimate glory. I trust Him to take me through this even if it results in suffering.

      And then I purposely imagine myself with a big hook and I hang all of my faith on a big hook that God is holding for me.

      Then I think about promises of God in scripture or sing praise songs or begin listing all the things I am thankful for.

      I hope this might be helpful!!! 🙂

  10. I used to worry a lot too! Darrell said he found it slightly offensive. I thought that was interesting. He said it was like I didn’t trust him to do the job that God called him to do of caring for and loving us by his leadership.

    It makes sense. God as placed all authorities in place, so ultimately when I worry about my life or decisions that my husband could/would make, I’m ultimately not really trusting God. I guess it boils down to actions. You can say you trust God all you want but if it doesn’t transfer out of your heart into your actions, then it’s kind of a moot issue.

    April, when you started to trust more and worry less, did you notice a difference in your man? I sure noticed one in mine.

    1. Robyn,

      Tomorrow’s post is, “Worry Insults My Husband.” You are reading my mind! 🙂

      YES! As I learned to trust God and my husband – I learned both at the same time – my husband began to stand taller and began to be much more confident as he made decisions. He began to come back to life and eventually, the competent, plugged in, loving, caring, amazing man I fell in love with – returned! Even better, actually!

      I would like to quote you, please! 🙂

      1. “He began to come back to life and eventually, the competent, plugged in, loving, caring, amazing man I fell in love with – returned! Even better, actually!”

        “… EVEN BETTER …) Isn’t it totally a WIN/WIN !!! (some days the blessings are so intense it’s too much to bear)

        And yes of course on the quote 😉

        1. Robyn,
          It SO IS a win/win.

          So many women think that respecting their husband and honoring his leadership would lead to oppression and losing “power” in the marriage. It has been totally the opposite for me. I have found freedom, my real identity, my true purpose in life, my greatest power as a woman (godly power), and I am now a blessing to my man. And God has changed him, too – in time.

          Yes, the blessings are intense. I am in constant awe of God and my husband. 🙂

  11. Christian Husbands often allow other women to flirt with them and as well, often “reciprocate!” What does a wife do then?

    1. Miryam,

      When a husband is living in disobedience to God’s Word, a godly wife’s greatest power is in I Peter 3:1-6. There are times a wife must say what she wants and needs. There are times to respectfully, gently confront sin. There are times to pray and ask God to intervene. This takes great sensitivity to God’s Spirit.

      I have a post about this topic, you can search my home page for “husband flirts”. Let me know if you want to talk more about this!

      Praying for God’s wisdom for you!

My grandmother is on hospice and won't be with us much longer (11-30-16). I will get to comments when I am able to but I need to be with family right now. Thanks for understanding.

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