Here is a way that one wife decided to approach her husband with the list on my site about what feels disrespectful to husbands. I love the way she handled this. Maybe it might give you some inspiration, too? I am so glad to be learning and walking beside you on this road. 🙂
My husband and I were able to go through the list the other night. It was totally a God thing. I asked when he’d like to and I mentioned that I felt the sooner the better…he agreed so we were able to. The way I approached was all God, I could not have come up with this on my own. I asked him to read them and let me know by checking or circling the items he feels I do. I then sat there while he went through the list and I prayed.
I mentioned that I was not going to overwhelm him with all of the things he circled but at least go over some at the moment and then continue…but as he was reading the list the Lord put on my heart to ask my husband “if there was one item on the list that could be fixed in a snap what would it be?” I also mentioned that I knew that was a difficult question but just pick one for now.
Wow amazing what happens when you put trust in the Lord! We discussed the one item he wanted more than any of them…I figured that it would be a great place to start. As it turns out, as soon as we fix that one item, we feel the rest will just fall into place. For the first time in six months we had a great discussion and we both feel we are moving forward. The best thing is that neither one of us wanted to give up on the other...not that we didn’t think of it but it wasn’t want we wanted. We don’t want a victory for satan but we do want a victory for our Lord and Savior Jesus.
I am so proud of this wife for her willingness to consider her husband’s feelings and her desire to learn what speaks disrespect to him. What a great place to start!
Many times, we wives don’t intend to come across disrespectfully at all. We usually just think we are expressing our own pain or our opinions. It can be quite a shock how many things that seem small to us can be very big issues to our husbands. If you find out your husband has been feeling disrespected or controlled. I have a Youtube video about how to apologize to your husband if you are interested.