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Building Up and Affirming Our Husbands and Children

My husband and children at Legoland in historic Cypress Gardens
My husband and children at Legoland in historic Cypress Gardens

God gave us as women an incredible verbal ability and gift.  I believe He did this so that we might greatly bless our families with words of life, inspiration, nurturing, edification, godly truth and encouragement!

(Even if your husband is far from God – and you are focusing on I Peter 3:1-6 and desire to “win him without a word” – these words are FINE to say!  The focus of that passage is to not use words to witness to him about God, spiritual things or the Bible to try to verbally draw him to God.  But to witness to him by your respectful behavior instead – that is what he can hear from you about God much more loudly than words.)

Some life-giving words our husbands and children need to hear from us –  (they MUST be genuine and sincere from our hearts – do not say these things if you don’t mean them!):

  • I’m SO proud of you for _________!
  • I LOVE YOU just the way you are!
  • I love you because you are you.
  • I am the luckiest/most blessed wife/mom in the world to get to live here with you!
  • You are so precious to me!
  • I love being your wife/mom
  • Being with you is my favorite part of the day.
  • You are my HERO!  Thank you SO much for saving the day! (When someone helps you)
  • I love your sense of humor/wit/intelligence/talents/personality/creativity/musical ability.
  • You are such a blessing to me.  I’m glad God gave you to me.
  • I am the happiest girl in the world to be married to you!/to be your mama!
  • Sure, I have time to listen.  What’s on your heart?
  • I can’t wait to hear all about your day.
  • You have such wonderful ideas!
  • I am so glad/thankful to be here with all of you right now.
  • (When someone spills something, makes a mess) It’s ok.  No big deal.  Let me help you clean that up! 🙂
  • This family is a huge gift from God to me.
  • Your feelings are important to me.
  • Your ideas are important to me.
  • I admire your insights and wisdom.
  • Let’s do something FUN together!
  • Of course I have time to play with you!
  • Let’s go on a date!
  • What would YOU like to do today?
  • Let’s cuddle/snuggle for awhile.
  • What’s on your heart today?
  • (to children) You are one of my most favorite people in the world! (to husbands)  You are the most important man/one in the world to me!
  • I’m so glad you are the way you are.
  • Being with you is such a blessing!/a gift!
  • Thank you SO MUCH!
  • I appreciate all that you do for me/us.
  • My life is so much richer because you are in it.
  • How did I get to be such a lucky girl/woman to be your wife/mom?
  • I am so happy right here with you – all my dreams have come true.
  • I trust you.
  • I have faith in you.
  • I believe in you.
  • I respect you.
  • I admire you because of __________.
  • I look up to you.  The way you ___________ makes me want to be more like you.
  • I’ll never give up on you.
  • I am so sorry.  I was wrong.
  • I apologize.
  • Of course I forgive you.
  • I’m not going anywhere.  I always want to be here with you.

How about you?

What life-giving, affirming, wholesome, beautiful words do you like to use to build up your family?

What are some of the most meaningful things your parents/husband/mentor/friend said to you that built you up and made you a stronger, better person?

HUSBANDS – what kinds of affirming, life giving things mean the most to you when your wife uses words to build you up?

12 thoughts on “Building Up and Affirming Our Husbands and Children

  1. Greetings,

    Well stated! As you said the most important thing is sincerity. Saying it because you think you have to means nothing. But its not just the saying…its the doing. Means little if you say something nice and then do the exact opposite five minutes later.

    Here are a few other things I think we men would like to hear:

    1. Thank us for even doing the smallet of things….in front of the kids. This makes us feel good and teaches the kids to do the same.
    2. Have words of praise or be positive about our family (parents or siblings). If you say something good about them then you are saying something good about us because they are a part of us. Same with hubbies close friends. The reverse is true. If the wife is always putting down his family/friends, he will see it as a personal put down.
    3. Say the thing every husband wants to hear…you want sex with him..any time and any way. You don’t even have to say verbally…you can text, email, etc. We like that, especially during work. Makes us feel special and looking forward to later.

  2. I have to say April you really have a gift for reading a man’s heart! Blessed by God you are.

  3. Thank you so very much for this list of life-giving words. I saved these to reference back to. I find it much more natural to encourage and lift up my children. I guess this is because I just know in the back of my mind that they are growing up in a crazy world and need this constantly from me. I need to do a much more frequent and better job at this with my husband. Thank you for the reminder and guide. This will be a great help to me as I seek to encourage my husband and children daily.

    “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” -Proverbs 18:21 MSG

  4. THANK YOU! Again. This is all so helpful and *just* what I need at the moment – the ‘How to…’ Thank God for your blog and for getting my friend to direct me to it 🙂

  5. Great post as usual April! God lead me to your Blog in the midst of my quest to learn to be a better wife to my husband. The encouragement I get from here is awesome! Everyday I’m striving to become a better me.

    1. I pray for you to have greater intimacy with God than ever and for Him to empower you to become the wife of His dreams! Praying for His glory in your marriage! Thanks for the comment, Trish!

  6. All of these things are key to husbands. My wife rarely says any of these things. She’s happy as claim getting to do whatever she wants, now. For some 8 years I’ve been disrespected and walked all over. My wife once won some tickets to a football game, and invited another guy friend to travel some 250 miles away and stay over night. That was extremely hurtful and wounding. It’s amazing at how a mother-in law can mold her daughter.

    All I have really ever strived for was for God, wife and kids.

    1. Oh no, I am sorry your wife did not take your feelings into consideration. As an outsider that is completely disrespectful in my opinion but if she normally has friendships with guys and does thing with them without you being present then sh may have thought that it wasn’t a big deal and you didn’t care? I pray she finds her way to this blog to read & communicate with other believers.

    2. Faithful Servant,

      Thanks for sharing your heart and your story. My heart breaks for your situation. I continue to pray fervently that God might open her eyes and that He might empower you to love her with His love and to lead tenderly in a godly way by His wisdom.

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