I want to be real with all of you about what has been going on in my life. If I am not transparent, what good is me sharing anything, at all?
Thank you for your patience, love, prayers, and support! I have missed y’all greatly.
My Family Ministry
I had the potential opportunity to write another book earlier this fall. Very exciting! But I just didn’t have peace about it.
As I prayed, I realized that one of our children needed more of my attention than I had already been giving.
If I worked 25-30 hours per week (at home now), kept up my online ministry sites by working on them 14 hours per week, and spent 10-15 hours writing a book every week for months, my child would fall through the cracks.
That wasn’t going to work.
So I turned down the book opportunity. Then I had peace.
I slowed down on my online ministry time and began spending more time with the Lord and with my child in the morning— reading the Bible together, and making breakfast. God even gave me the chance to pour into a friend of this child, as well, in the mornings. What a precious blessing!
The medicine I was taking for various peri-menopause issues caused my blood pressure to bottom out dangerously in November multiple times and made me severely dizzy.
I think I scared Greg and our son to death a few times. So that option is definitely off the table!
Thankfully, two tests I had showed NO cancer. I may have to undergo surgery later this year. We will see and pray for the Lord’s wisdom and healing. I’d love to avoid surgery if possible.
Also, ever since I was sick last February/March (with what I think, but can’t prove, may have been COVID-19) my digestive issues that had gotten better previously have been much worse.
Trying to figure out what I can eat that won’t make me sick and miserable for hours every day has been challenging. It seems I can’t tolerate even tiny amounts of quite a few types of sugar, even if it is naturally occurring in fruits/vegetables. Most breads also have added sugar. Tons of things have added or natural sugar.
Greg found some digestive enzymes for me that seem to be helping a bit—as a genetic enzyme deficiency I have had all my life seems to have worsened in the past year.
Then there is also the continuing shoulder injury that hasn’t healed since June and arthritis things flaring up, at times. Life has some difficulties—big and small, at times.
I pray that the Lord might heal– but most of all, I pray that I might learn all He desires me to learn through this. May the Lord be glorified in these trials. May I be more like Jesus in my attitude and motives.
These medical issues are small. (I realize many people are facing much worse issues.) But even these medical things are super humbling. Being humbled isn’t fun, but it is a good thing spiritually. It reminds me not to depend on myself.
God is so gracious, reminding me that in my weakness, He is strong. I am learning to depend on Him more than ever. I want to learn and receive all the treasures He has for me in each trial.
Refining of My Faith
The Lord gently whispered to me at the beginning of November that I needed MAJOR refining to help me be ready for 2021. I spent as much time as I could sitting with Him and His Word in recent weeks praying for America, for the church, for my family, and for myself.
Being still. Listening. Praying fervently. Inviting Him to purify and strengthen me. To expose any wrong thinking, fear, or doubt. There is always more refining do to as long as I am here on this earth.
I wanted to write posts during that time and often asked the Lord when I could do so again, and He would nudge my soul, “Wait. Don’t share yet. I want to work on you for a while first. The ladies will be okay. I’ll let you know when it is time to share something and what to share.”
The Lord revealed that there were weak points in my faith that I hadn’t seen before. Fears I have never had to face. Areas where I haven’t yet been stretched. And that I would need a much deeper faith soon.
I wrote everything down that I could see was a problem and dug into His Word, determined to trust Him more no matter what may come.
What a blessing! He has been faithful. He has helped deepened my faith in Him so much more. His Word and promises are even more precious to me than ever as He has enabled me to absorb them on an even deeper level than before.
I want to continue to seek Him above all else and invite Him to do absolutely everything He wants to do in and through me right now. Even if it is painful, at first. I know He knows what is coming and He knows what I need. I want to embrace absolutely anything He wants to do in me that I may be fully prepared.
My greatest desire is to yield everything in my life fully to the Lord for Him to use as He knows is best for His kingdom and His glory. In my family, at work, in my neighborhood, at my church, and here online. He definitely knows best. I do not.
How I pray He might empower me to be faithful no matter what 2021 may bring. And may He do all He wants to do in and through me and may I not hamper His purposes in my life.
Is there anything you’d like to share that you’ve been learning?
Or do you need some encouragement or prayer? You are welcome to share that in the comments, as well.