Faithfulness is more than just not having an affair with another man. It’s one of the fruits of the Spirit of God. And it is a critical component of a healthy marriage.
What is faithfulness?
Faithfulness means: steadfastness, loyalty, and devotion. It means keeping our vows and promises. It means we treat the object of our faithfulness with respect, honor, dignity, and love. We continue keeping our promise even when it is hard, painful, or involves sacrifice.
Here is a definition from one of my favorite Christian resources:
To be faithful is to be reliable, steadfast and unwavering, and the Bible speaks of this type of faithfulness in four ways: as an attribute of God; as a positive characteristic of some men; as a characteristic that many men lack; and as a gift of the Holy Spirit.www.gotquestions.org
Our faithfulness to each other in marriage
When we think about being faithful to our spouse, we tend to think about not cheating physically on them. That is certainly a critical part of our faithfulness to our marriage covenant. But there’s much more to it than that!
To be faithful is to be wholeheartedly devoted to my vows to my husband and the Lord. It is to guard my heart, mind, body, and soul against anything that could poison me against God’s design for our marriage. It is to nurture and tenderly care for my marriage and husband. It is to embrace all that God calls me to be as a woman and wife.
By the power of the Holy Spirit, I seek to be faithful in every area of my marriage and life.
- I cut out any temptation from my life that could lead me to sexual immorality or adultery. If a particular guy is an issue because of his behavior or my feelings, I try to remove him from my life, if at all possible. Or minimize any contact and keep things distant and cool.
- I set up strong boundaries to keep myself from getting into a potentially compromising situation with another man (or woman or whoever else). For example: I seek to not be alone with other men (in a room, at a restaurant, or in a vehicle) or have private video or phone conversations with them.
- I seek to be available to and generous with my husband in this area (unless he is breaking our marriage covenant, one of us is seriously ill or injured, or we agree to abstain for a set time to pray).
- I seek to treat my husband with respect and honor in my thoughts.
- I refuse to entertain tempting thoughts about any other man (real or fictional).
- I don’t allow myself to compare my husband with another man.
- I don’t allow myself to be jealous of another woman’s relationship or life.
- I cut off any source of mental temptation like pornography or even romantic books/movies/shows that feed resentment in me toward my husband or dissatisfaction with my marriage or fantasies about what it would be like to be with someone else physically, mentally, or emotionally.
- I don’t allow myself to have private conversations with other men particularly about my marriage, my struggles, my emotions, or my spirituality realizing this could allow me to bond with another guy emotionally.
- I copy my husband on emails to other men to be accountable (Unless they are completely work-related, and in those emails, I do not include any personal discussions.)
- I don’t have unrealistic or unbiblical expectations about my husband’s emotional connection with me.
- I don’t seek to mentor another man on my own or to give relationship advice to another man by myself.
- I am completely transparent about any temptation I face with my husband, God, and my accountability partner(s) to get any potential issue out in the light and out of secrecy and darkness.
- I seek to go to a woman for wise counsel and discipling if I need it for my marriage rather than to a man by myself.
- I seek to honor God and my husband by sticking to our budget and spending responsibly.
- I don’t hide financial information from my husband or go behind his back (unless he is extremely unwell mentally/physically and I am reaching out for wise counsel or help).
- I have a cooperative spirit with my husband’s leading about financial matters.
- I don’t badmouth my husband, tear him down, bash or gossip about him to others. He can count on me to be loyal to him.
- I don’t flirt with other men.
- I speak respectfully to my husband and about my husband.
- I don’t use my words to share unwholesome jokes or inappropriate/crude stories with anyone.
- I speak well of my husband to others.
- I don’t air any dirty laundry on social media and only go to a trusted counselor or two for help privately if we have a real problem.
- I am honest with my husband and don’t use my words to deceive him.
- I share my concerns, ideas, requests, and suggestions respectfully.
- I desire good and blessing for my husband never harm.
- I thank God for my husband and his strengths.
- I pray for God’s wisdom and protection for my husband as the head of our home.
- I address sin respectfully in biblical ways that honor God and my husband.
- I honor my husband’s God-given leadership (if he is not asking me to sin) and seek to be an encouragement and inspiration to him in this role.
- I invite God to work powerfully in my husband’s life for His glory.
- I seek God’s will in my husband’s life rather than my will.
- I don’t idolize my husband or myself, instead, I put God first in my heart.
- I seek to embrace God’s design for marriage and His role for me as a helpmeet that brings freedom, peace, and joy for me instead of the world’s wisdom. I use my God-given influence to set a godly example and to do good to my husband.
- If there are areas where you see you need to repent and invite God to help you improve, I’d like to encourage you to do that today.
- Pray about whether you need to verbally repent to your husband, as well, about certain things (without justifying yourself).
- Choose three bullet points to focus on for the next 4 days and write them down.
- Ask God to help you see what He wants you to change and to give you the power you need to become more the woman and wife He calls you to be in these areas for His glory.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.Heb. 13:4
God is always faithful. He always keeps His promises to us. He never cheats on us. He never drifts away and becomes apathetic toward us. His faithfulness never fails.
If we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself.2 Tim. 2:13
- Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations, Deut. 7:9
- But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one. 2 Thess. 3:3
- No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Cor. 10:13
Our faithfulness to God
God calls each of us to be faithful to Him. To trust Him. To obey Him. To put all our faith in Him. He calls us to treat Him with the utmost reverence, devotion, and love. And He calls us to absolute submission to His Lordship because He alone is worthy of it.
Can you think of other aspects of faithfulness in marriage we should mention here? How do you define faithfulness in a godly marriage?
What Does the Bible Say About Faithfulness? by www.gotquestions.org