We have been unpacking the 4 Step Peace Plan for several posts. There is a summary at the bottom of the post. <3
When women are whole in Christ they are empowered by God to stop harming others. In Him, we have divine power to greatly bless our marriages and relationships.
Once you see Jesus rightly and you see yourself rightly, then He gives you the ability to see other people with His eyes and to love them with His heart.
When the old sinful nature controls us, we are all emotionally and verbally abusive to some degree or another. We act in dysfunctional, prideful, selfish ways. That is what our sinful nature does best.
The sinful nature hurts others, it grieves God, and it hurts us.
In Christ, you have freedom from your old sinful flesh so you no longer have to:
- Be easily offended, assume the worst about others, or have a critical spirit.
- Cling to bitterness, unforgiveness, and sinful anger.
- Use your words to harm others with insults, negativity, complaining, arguing, foolish talk, coarse joking, disrespect, biting sarcasm, gossip, etc…
- Be filled with malice, hatred, rage, or violence.
- Be a people pleaser, perfectionist, controlling person, or doormat.
- Exalt anything or anyone other than Jesus Christ as Lord—false religions, cults, lies, other things or ideas (even marriage, children, happiness, other people, self, thinness, beauty, youth, money, fame, popularity, etc.. can be idols).
- Act in lust toward others, flirt with other men, have emotional/physical affairs.
- Think, speak, or act in dishonest ways, or lie.
- Use people and mistreat them.
- Be a slave to an addiction to porn, drugs, alcohol, gambling, body disorders, food, perfection, control, or anything else.
- Be jealous, envious, or desperate for something or someone other than Jesus.
- React in fear, anxiety, insecurity, and worry.
- Let your thoughts run away destructively.
- Build your life and relationships on toxic lies from the enemy.
- Act in pride, selfishness, and self-righteousness.
PRAISE GOD!
You no longer have to live as a slave to these miserable principles and way of life!
You have freedom from all of this in Christ!
Just getting rid of these poisonous things goes a long way to helping us have much healthier relationships. But we can’t stop there!
The new nature sees and acts with the very heart of Christ
We then allow Jesus to help us add the godly ways of thinking, relating, speaking, and acting. Then we become instruments in the hand of God to pour goodness, love, truth, healing, and His supernatural Life into our relationships with others.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
1 John 4:7-8
Jesus gives us the power to look at others and see their pain, their spiritual woundedness and their suffering. He shows us how they are being held captive by the enemy of their souls.
Christ helps us to see that people are not our enemies. We have a real enemy and He helps us fight the actual enemy.
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
Eph. 6:12
Now that you are in Jesus, you have the power of the Holy Spirit to act in your new nature:
- Produce the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control by the power of the Holy Spirit working in you even when others are acting in their flesh. (Gal. 5:22-23)
- Let God meet all your deepest spiritual and emotional needs and fill your spirit to overflowing.
- Grow increasingly in spiritual maturity as you seek Christ first above all else.
- Experience the immense love of God for you and then share that same incredible unconditional love with other people because God loves them and they are created in His image. (Gen. 1:27, 1 Cor. 13:4-8, 1 John 4:11)
- Be open to God’s Spirit and His leading to share His love in tangible ways with your husband, family, and everyone around you. (Phil. 2:3-4)
- Walk in the victory of Christ.
- Repent and get back up when you stumble into sin and hurt God or someone else.
- Walk in humility and faith in God and His wisdom.
- Only do what will benefit and bless others in God’s eyes.
- Take your thoughts captive for Christ.
- See people with God’s perspective.
- Use God’s wisdom and discernment about how to best approach difficult people and situations.
- Know when not to trust people who are acting in the flesh and when to distance yourself respectfully from those who continue in unrepentant sin.
- Have compassion even for people who treat you as an enemy, realizing they need Jesus, and repay evil with good. (Matt. 5:43-48).
- Have a bit of God’s eternal perspective on situations.
This kind of divine love and power is very attractive to others. We let Jesus love and shine through us and pour His Spirit out from us all over everyone around us.
Yes, some may be offended by the fragrance of Jesus Christ in us, but our continued prayers, love, gentleness, respect, and kindness may be instruments in God’s hands over time to soften cold hearts to Jesus, salvation, and healing.
The 4-Step Peace Plan
This plan is a simple pathway to show you how you can enter into the heroic life God has for you and experience real peace with God, with others (as far as it depends on you), and with yourself.
- Look upward —Yield your life completely to the Lordship of Jesus, who is Lord of the universe.
- Look inward—Die to your old sinful nature and your old ways and put on your new nature in Christ.
- Look outward—Receive Jesus’ eyes and heart for others to love them with His divine love.
- Look forward—Watch Jesus turn your pain, trials, and difficult relationships into beauty for your ultimate good, a blessing for others, and His greatest glory. And look forward most of all to eternity in heaven with Him and everyone who loves Him forever!
You will keep him in perfect peace,
Isaiah 26:3
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.
Hi April,
Thanks for this outstanding post. It is full of wisdom and useful and practical reminders.
Just this week, I was reading some posts on the website for the Sisters of Life and I read that they spend 4 hours a day in prayer every day and in addition, they devote one day a week to constant prayer and contemplation. That gives them the spiritual grace they need to communicate to women about the great value of the children in their wombs.
It reminded me to spend more time in prayer and reflecting on God’s word so that I can really be empowered to love my husband, son and others in deeper ways so that they will ultimately be drawn to Christ. Talking to others about God without showing love is useless. We can only be filled with God’s love if we pray and read the Bible daily.
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. (1 Cor 13:1)”
Nneka Simone,
I’m so thankful it was a blessing.
Wow! That is extremely inspiring to hear about how devoted these women are to worshipping the Lord and seeking Him first. Thank you for sharing!
I appreciate your insights and thoughts so much.
Much love, dear sister! <3