It’s important to know what someone’s end goals are if you are considering following his/her advice or teaching. And it is important to know from what source the teacher derives authority to teach. Is it the Bible – the infallible Word of God? Or is it self, human wisdom, popular psychology, or something else?
I write for women, so I focus a lot on our piece of the puzzle. But what is my goal for marriages overall? What is the big picture in my mind as I write?
The biggest thing is I want to see us all seek to live for and honor the Lord in every thought, motive, word, and deed.
I want to see us all live for Christ and obey His instructions for us.
I long to see:
- Live in total submission to the Lordship of Christ. (John 14:21)
- Be filled with the Holy Spirit. (Gal. 5:16-26, Eph. 5:18)
- Love Christ more than a spouse, children, self, happiness, or anything/anyone else – to have no idols in the heart. (Luke 10:27)
- Understand that men and women are equally valuable, equally made in God’s image, and equally cherished in God’s sight. (Gen. 1:27, John 3:16, Gal. 3:28)
- Treat each other with honor, dignity, love, and respect. (Rom. 12:10, 1 Cor. 13:4-6, 1 Pet. 2:17)
- Respect themselves – think of themselves rightly according to God’s Word, receive their identity in Christ.
- Die to the old self and live in the new nature given by Christ.
- Avoid all rage, hatred, violence, and abuse.
- Stand firmly against anything God calls sin. Confront sin when necessary in God-honoring ways.
- Avoid adultery. (Heb. 13:4)
- Discover, explore, and enjoy the different roles God has given us.
- Have a God-honoring voice and use his/her personhood, voice, gifts, talents, and influence for good in the marriage and family.
- Be faithful and loyal to the Lord and the marriage covenant for life.
- Experience real-life romance, attraction, and wholesome sexual fulfillment in marriage. (Song of Solomon)
- Demonstrate and model Christlikeness to the family.
- Grow by leaps and bounds in spiritual maturity in faith in Christ.
- Express true compassion, humility, gentleness, patience, kindness, and thoughtfulness in the marriage, toward the children, and toward others. (Gal. 5:22-23)
- Uphold the parental authority of the other spouse. (Prov. 20:20, Ex. 20:12)
- Disciple and train the children in godliness with great love. (Eph. 6:4)
- Love, cherish, and honor their wives as Christ loves, cherishes, and honors the Church. (Eph. 5:25, Col. 3:18-19, 1 Pet. 3:7)
- Live with their wives in an understanding, gentle way. (1 Pet. 3:7)
- Embrace godly masculinity and model it for the family.
- Lead in humble, servant-hearted, loving, selfless ways that honor the Lord and seek His will above all. (Eph. 5:25-33)
- Seek to have a cooperative attitude (within proper limits) toward their husbands’ leadership according to God’s good design. (Eph. 5:22-33, Col. 3:18-19)
- Respect and honor their husbands. (Eph. 5:33)
- Embrace godly femininity and model it for the family.
- Have a complete absence of pornography use and every kind of emotional/visual/verbal/sexual infidelity. (Mal. 2:13-16, Matt. 5:28, Col. 3:5)
- Be strong, fulfilling, safe, and secure.
- Divorce become unnecessary because marriages are healed. (Mal. 2:13-16)
- Have healthy oneness and unity. Not codependency or idolizing each other or the children. Not one spouse giving up his/her personhood and being steamrolled by the other who acts like a selfish tyrant.
- Have true teamwork and God’s Spirit of unity and oneness.
- Witness godly examples in their parents and have security in their homes so they can be well-prepared for godly marriages and parenting themselves, in the future.
- Treat both parents with honor and respect. (Eph. 6:1-4)
- Obey parents (unless parents tell child to clearly sin against God’s Word). (Col. 3:20)
Everyone in the family:
- Know and receive the gospel of Jesus Christ.
- Be safe at home – emotionally, financially, spiritually, mentally, and physically.
- Avoid all kinds of mistreatment, sin against anyone else, and abuse – husbands, wives, and children.
- Seek to turn from anything God calls sin – every single kind of sin, even in the thoughts/motives – to His holy ways.
- To repent from sin to the Lord and to those we hurt.
- Extend grace and forgiveness to each other, knowing how much grace, mercy, and forgiveness we have each received from God, and to rebuild any broken trust.
- Reject the world’s ways and lies.
- Cherish masculinity and femininity and celebrate the differences.
- Be conformed to the image of Christ by the power of God. (Rom. 8:28-29)
- Shine for Christ and be the salt and light that is so desperately needed in this dark, decaying world. (Matt. 5:13-14, Phil. 2:14-16)
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. 3 John 1:4
Why Do I Only Teach Women?
I do this out of respect for God’s Word. There are two places in the New Testament that say that women are not to teach or have authority over men in the church.
However, the older women are to teach the younger women (Titus 2:3-5) about being godly wives and mothers. That is my calling from the Lord!
Greg and I will celebrate 25 years of marriage in May of this year. I long to share the treasures God has shown me with my sisters. I am not the same person I was 10 years ago when God first opened my eyes to just how ungodly I was as a woman, wife, and mom.
I am not perfect. I still have so much to learn myself, but I am changed. God has dramatically transformed me and continues to work in my heart, mind, and life. My hope is to share things the Lord has shown me so that it might be an easier road for those who come behind me than it was for me.
Much love in Christ!
What Should Be Different about a Christian Marriage? by www.gotquestions.org
The Danvers Statement – a statement of faith and belief about God’s biblical design for marriage
Spiritual Authority – God’s design for every area of life for believers
What Does the Bible Say about Domestic Violence? by www.gotquestions.org
HOW TO FIND SPIRITUAL LIFE AND SALVATION IN JESUS CHRIST