Someone brought up a really important point on yesterday’s post about winning a husband without a word, that unbelieving husbands do need to hear the gospel – particularly if they haven’t heard it. All people need this! I don’t intend to say otherwise. And yet, 1 Peter 3:1-2 instructs wives of unbelieving husbands to “win them without a word.”
How do we reconcile the passages that say to share the gospel with this passage which says to win our husbands without words?
1 Peter 3:1-6 NIV
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Romans 10:17
Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.
This is what John Piper has to say about the meaning of this passage, which may be helpful:
What does it mean for a wife to win her husband “without a word” (1 Peter 3:2)?
– It does not mean the husband does not need to hear the gospel.
– 1 Peter 1:23–25 says that every new birth happens “through the living and abiding word of God… And this word is the good news that was preached to you.”
– Therefore, the husband needs to hear the good news before wife’s Christian behavior can win him.
– “Without a word” means without an excessive word or a nagging word or a manipulative or pressuring word. (1 Peter 3:2)
– Once this husband has heard the gospel in which his wife believes, her conduct might make all the difference in his salvation.
The Saving Power of a Fearless Wife – by John Piper
I believe we need to deal with any unrepentant sin in our own lives first. We will greatly hinder our witness for Christ – in word and deed – if we are not living in submission to His Lordship and if we continue on and on in sin ourselves. So let’s be sure we are living in the power of the Holy Spirit. Let’s be absolutely sure WE understand the Gospel of Jesus and have received it for ourselves. Our husbands should know that we profess Christ as our Savior and Lord.
Then, let’s seek the Lord in fervent prayer, maybe with fasting, if we are in a position where we want to influence an unbelieving husband for Christ. And let’s ask for prayer support from a godly mentoring wife. Then let’s be sensitive to how the Lord leads.
We may need to share the gospel with our husband – especially if he has never heard it. There are many ways to do this – sharing a post, sharing a video, sharing a passage of scripture, or several verses, or verbally sharing the Gospel.
The majority of the time in our daily lives, our example, as we talked about yesterday, will be our most powerful approach. It is very easy to accidentally talk too much about spiritual things to our husbands if we are not careful, and to push them away. We let the Holy Spirit do the convicting and drawing our husband to Jesus. We realize we are not the Holy Spirit.
May the Lord and His Spirit give each wife the wisdom and discernment she needs for her situation. And may the Spirit draw many, many lost souls to Himself and to the Kingdom of Christ!
Bible Verses about Witnessing for Jesus
What Is the Gospel? by www.gotquestions.org
Ladies- fervently Praying for our unbelieving spouse is highly important. One of the final prayers I prayed for my “atheist “ husband was asking God to bring him godly men in his life. Little did I know that the witness God would use- would be the passing of my granny. The peace he saw in me and the family was what he longed for and began going to church the following Sunday. It still took 2 years for him to accept Christ and be baptized but it all was by prayer and loving him the best I could.
I’d like to say it all ended well but it didn’t. He went to his old behaviors and then some after a job took him to another state. I’d pray out loud with our children and read them Bible stories as I also taught in children’s church – where my seeking husband did media and other electronic type things and listened to the word on a child’s level. God is faithful – never give up hope. I almost did.
Oh and what I didn’t say is this … a month before my husband (now ex-husband) accepted Christ, I learned it was about relationship not religion (so I was changed and grew through the 13 years of praying for his salvation). My daughter accepted Christ at VBS weeks before he accepted.. then 3 days following his accepting my son accepted Christ and all were baptized together.
Galatians 6:9 is a verse to hold onto – no matter how hard it may get before.
Tracy Roberts,
Thank you so much for sharing. I appreciate your testimony so much. And I pray with you for the Lord to reach your husband with the power of His Spirit and for His strength for you to continue to live out the gospel before your children and as a godly witness to your ex-husband. I pray for God’s greatest glory in your life and family. So thankful that your children also accepted Christ.
Much love and the biggest hug to you!