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FreeinChrist Fights with Heavenly Weapons

Last night, I got to do something that I will remember for the rest of my life as one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had. May it bless you, as well!

FreeinChrist is a friend of mine and has given me permission to share. For more of her story, check out this post.

FreeinChrist is so strong in her walk with the Lord now, that she knows God has good things in store for her life no matter if her husband returns or not. She faces the future with great joy – seeking only to live in the center of God’s will. At this point, it would be infinitely easier for her to continue on without her husband. But she is seeking to be available to work to restore the marriage if that opportunity arises so that she can honor her marriage covenant before the Lord – simply to please Him and keep her vow, if the Lord provides the way. It is her heart’s desire to see her marriage restored if it will honor God.

She is not desperate or despairing. She has emotions to deal with, of course, and pain to hash through at times, but she is completely filled up with God and such a powerhouse of faith. The Lord has provided abundantly every step of the way for every need – housing, jobs, medical care, spiritual needs, everything. She says, “My story for His glory.” Whatever will bring the Lord the most glory, that is what she desires with all her heart, whatever that may be. Most of all, she wants to see her husband find peace with God.  She wants him to experience the healing and abundant life that can be his in Jesus.

Today in just a few minutes is their court date to finalize the divorce that her husband has filed against her.

When the judge asks her if there is any hope for this marriage to be reconciled, she plans to answer, “Yes.”

Last night, she assembled a group of 6 other strong, godly women to pray with her who have been praying and, at times also fasting, with her for quite some time.

  1. First we sang a song of praise together in the parking lot – Resurrecting.  Her reasoning was that when King Jehosephat went out to battle, he sent the worshippers out to sing praises to the Lord before the army went into battle in 2 Chronicles 20. (I LOVE that story! It is a great one to read in your quiet time this week.)
  2. We walked around the county courthouse 7 times – just like Joshua did with Israel around Jericho – another amazing encounter with God’s power and victory for His people. Before each lap around the courthouse, we all read a passage of scripture together out loud in unison. Then we walked around the courthouse and prayed – some silently, some out loud. We received God’s work, His power, His truth, His promises, His Word, and His Spirit to work in this couple’s situation.
    1. Lap 1 – Divorce. We prayed for FreeinChrist and her husband and for all people coming to that county courthouse to get a divorce for healing for their marriages and glory for God.  “For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” Mal. 2:16 NLT
    2. Lap 2 – Marriage. We prayed for FreeinChrist and her husband and for all those coming to the courthouse to get a marriage license and for those in our county getting married – that they might honor and understand the significance of a marriage covenant in God’s eyes. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matt. 19:6 NIV
    3. Lap 3 – New things. We prayed and thanked God for the new things He is doing in FreeinChrist and in her husband and prayed for new things for those coming to the court house and in our county – for a great awakening. “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isa. 43:19 NIV
    4. Lap 4 – A new heart. “And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart, and give you a tender, responsive heart.” Eze. 36:26 NLT
    5. Lap 5 – New life. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold the new has come.” 2 Cor. 5:17 ESV
    6. Lap 6 – God’s sovereignty. We thanked and praised God for His sovereignty in FreeinChrist’s life, in her husband’s life, and in their marriage. We thanked and praised Him for His sovereignty in this courthouse and in this county. “Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.'” Isa. 46:9-10 NIV
    7. Lap 7 – God’s sovereignty. “I know that You can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” Job 42:2 NIV
  3. After the 7 laps –  we stopped and sang Holy, Holy, Holy together in the parking lot and thanked and praised God.
  4. We walked an 8th lap – a victory lap for new beginnings. And we prayed and received these scriptures:
    1. “‘The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,’ says the LORD Almighty. ‘And in this place I will grant peace,’ declares the Lord Almighty.” Hag. 2:9 NIV
    2. Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to Him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen. Eph. 3:20-21
    3. I will restore to you the years that the locusts have eaten. Joel 2:25
  5. We sang Victory in Jesus together at the top of our lungs.

It was amazing to walk behind this precious sister in Christ and to pray with her and to see her faith. She had the biggest smile on her face all evening and was simply totally yielded to the Lord. Praising Him, thanking Him, worshipping Him, trusting Him. She doesn’t know what will happen today. None of us do. But she was radiant with His glory and beauty last night. And we are all confident that the Lord is going to move in this situation. We are excited to see how.

You know something? It hit me that if all of us approached trials in our lives in a manner like this – we would have a VERY different world!

Imagine if every marriage had this kind of prayer. If every lost person had believers praying for him/her like this. If every school, courthouse, city, state, and country had believers bathing them in prayer and faith like this.

FreeinChrist has no need to use earthly weapons or human wisdom and effort. She doesn’t have to try to force her way. She doesn’t have to cry, scream, yell, cuss, or make demands. She doesn’t have to argue or try to convince her husband of anything. She doesn’t even have to communicate with him. Her eyes are on the Lord. His will is going to be done. His glory will be made known through her story. He will do the fighting and all she has to do is to be still and receive the things He will do on her behalf.

Commit your way to the Lord;

trust in Him, and He will do this:

He will make your righteousness shine

like the dawn,

the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Be still before the Lord and

wait patiently for Him;

do not fret when men succeed in their ways,

when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Psalm 37:5-7

Please join with me in praying for the Lord’s victory, His greatest glory, and His Name to be exalted in FreeinChrist’s life even now as she is about to enter the courthouse within ten minutes of when I publish this post. And let’s also lift up our other brothers and sisters who have lost spouses and who are facing a spouse going ahead with a divorce. I can’t wait to see all that the Lord will do!


FreeinChrist Stands for Something Way Bigger Than Just Her Marriage


61 thoughts on “FreeinChrist Fights with Heavenly Weapons

  1. Praying for FreeinChrist! This is amazing how you and your friends showed support and humility in approaching this trial. my best friend had her divorce finalized about a year ago and is still healing from that, especially since the wounds have reopened with her children’s father is now dating someone. God, shower your healing balm upon freeinchrist, my dear friend, and all other sisters grappling with the pain and other consequences that accompany separation and divorce. Change these men’s hearts and inspire the next generation of men to reject the lies of pornography and other selfish practices and learn to overcome lust through your grace.

    1. Hope,
      Thank you so much for sharing and for your prayers for FreeinChrist, your friend, and others who are on this painful journey with a spouse divorcing them. I pray for God’s healing for your friend, as well. I think this kind of pain would be much more difficult than the pain of losing a spouse to death in many ways.

      I am so thankful that God does not forsake His children and that He is able to make something beautiful even from ashes like this.

      Much love to you!

  2. Praying for you FreeinChrist !! God love you and bless you !! God is doing some amazing work in the hearts of believers. He is turning back the tide of divorce and separation. So many standers praying for their spouses to know the One True God. Lord thank you!! You are worthy!! God is so pleased with you sister!! Love you! Big hugs!

  3. Wow I stand in agreement with you sister for our sister in Christ! May God bless her… I am also standing for my marriage although divorce has gone through I believe in God almighty for the turn around… He makes all things NEW in Jesus name!!!!

    1. JenJen,

      The divorce did go through yesterday for FreeinChrist. BUT – she was very much at peace. And I believe that she was able to plant seeds in her husband’s heart that the Lord may use to begin to work on him. But whether he turns to the Lord or to the marriage or not, she was faithful. Faithful to her marriage covenant and faithful to the Lord. I know she will be greatly rewarded in heaven for her approach. And I believe there will be more things to unfold here as the story continues.

      I pray for the Lord’s healing for you and your husband individually in Christ and for His healing for your marriage, my precious sister. Most of all, for His greatest glory!

      1. God be the glory even thru the storm God has a way of turning it all around. May she continue to stand firm in the gap for her husbands salvation and their marriage! God is NOT finished… This is just the beginning!!! May God continue to use her tremendously to give hope to those who are also standing for their marriage despite divorce!
        Remembering that the world and the heavenly realm are two separate so in the eyes of the LORD they are still one and what God has joined together NO man can separate!!!!!!!
        I pray for her strength and that the seeds she left will penetrate his heart greatly! I pray that he will open his spiritual eyes and see the truth!!!
        Please tell her she has a group of standing women who knows the pain but also feels JOY and PEACE in trusting God for his promises to be fulfilled in each of our lives!
        Thank you once again for sharing!
        God be the glory forever!
        And to those who are reading this I am standing because thats what God has called me to do… I have heard move on, hes moved on… I’ve heard it ALL I’ve been thru a lot and I know pain and hoe it feels to be rejected. BUT greater is HE that is with US then he that’s in the world!!!! Stand firm in your walk with Jesus… Let you spouse go and grow in the Lord. Ecc3 says that there is a time for everything. We go thru seasons in our life where there is suffering and heartache… Times where we want to question God and ask WHY?! But through this process we will come out stronger ! Please read James 1 and Romans 8!!!! So many people suffered in the bible yet when God said it was time they received the glory of God in their lives and the promises. Don’t be like Sara when she became desperate for a child she took matters into her own hands and told Haggar to sleep with Abraham NO! Be patient like Joseph that although he went thru trials and tribulations he recieved the glory… Also stop saying God can’t force so and so everyone has a will…. Saul had a will and persecuted christians until God blinded him and he was then used flr Gods glory…. Did he suffer? Of course he did but in his suffering God was able to use him to bring so many to Christ!!!!!! Best example when he was in Jail and while he sang hymns with sillas the prison doors opened and when the guard was going to commit suicide God allowed Saul to intervene and HE and HIS house was saved! All for the glory of GOD! That’s to show that just for ONE person God will allow YOU to encounter someone thru your storm!!!! Trust God!!!!!!!!! Trust God please do not allow the words of man to tell you that your situation is impossible or that you should move on. Stand in the gap and allow God to use you for others that are watching and for your husband/wife that is the prodigal! Love covers a multitude of sins… Don’t hold anything against anyone choose to forgive daily… Wake up and put your armor!!!!! God is greater I am telling you because I am living it but I TRUST GOD!!!!!

        1. JenJen,

          Thank you for the encouragement for FreeinChrist and for sharing a big of your story. 🙂

          I’m so glad that no-one is beyond the reach of Christ Jesus and His healing is available to us all.

          Much love!

  4. This is a marvelously encouraging post – a real testimony of faithfulness in FreeinChrist’s life. Praise God for her witness and for the friends who have come around to support her. God is faithful and time will bear witness to His mercy and goodness in times like Freeing Christ is experiencing. <

    1. ronfurg,

      I agree! What an incredibly beautiful, powerful example to us all of how to handle trials and spiritual warfare. Thank you for sharing your insights and encouragement.

  5. Friends,

    As much as I believe the Lord can do all things according to His will, especially in restoring a marriage relationship for His own purposes and glory —– there is often another side of the story that no one looks at that I believe might be helpful in this situation!

    A lot of times, when we were NOT in God’s will, we acquired things that fall apart once we are in Christ and His will. For example, some of us had children outside of God’s will. Or others got married outside of God’s will for them. And then when they do come wholeheartedly to Christ, a lot of times the marriage totally breaks down, and despite the believers desire to see the spouse saved or changed and the marriage perfected, the Lord allows the unbelieving spouse to leave.

    Let us see the wisdom of God in Him allowing this sometimes. This unbeliever was not part of God’s will for the believer’s life, and therefore He is pleased to allow them to leave if they are getting in the way of the believer devoting their whole life and heart to the Lord Himself!

    I pray this might bring life and peace to those who have struggled with accepting it to be God’s will that an unbelieving spouse has left the marriage.

    And please feel free to listen to this story, as this man has been through this very thing, and He indeed shows how it is often God’s will to run off an unbelieving spouse who is getting in God’s way of fulfilling His will in the believers life!

    Lots of love to all!

    1. Satisfied Wife,
      Thank you for sharing. 🙂

      There are certainly times when it is better for the unbelieving or wayward spouse to leave than to stay when things are really toxic. I Corinthians 7:15 directs a believing spouse to let the unbelieving spouse leave if he/she wants to leave. I am thankful that FreeinChrist respected her husband’s decision and the judge’s ruling and didn’t argue or try to force him to stay. No matter what her husband chooses to do, her future is very bright in Jesus!

      But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.

      I do believe that the Lord desires salvation for all people and that a believing spouse can and should continue to pray for the unbelieving spouse for salvation and regeneration and healing in Christ. And I believe a Christian spouse could pray for reconciliation and healing for the future for the marriage if he/she believes God is leading in that direction.

      Ultimately, what matters most is that the believer is fully yielded to the Lord and walking in holiness and submission to His Lordship, seeking His will and His glory. 🙂

      Much love to you!

        1. Nicole,

          That is an excellent question. There is debate among theologians, pastors, scholars, and believers about this. Some believe that when 1 Cor. 7:15 says, “a believer is not bound in such circumstances” that it means the believer is free to remarry. Others believe that only means the believer is free not to live with the unbelieving spouse who wants to leave.

          The safest thing to do biblically – in my understanding – would be not to remarry.

          Some believers think there are a few exceptions to the remarriage prohibition that Jesus gave – including if a spouse commits adultery or if a spouse abandons the believing spouse. Some say that when Jesus gave the exception of “sexual immorality” that a more accurate translation of that would be “fornication” and that it means that divorce is only acceptable in God’s eyes if a believer finds out the spouse committed fornication with someone else before marriage. Others believe that word can be translated any kind of sexual immorality, including after marriage.

          I am not completely sure if remarriage is ever acceptable in God’s eyes or not. Maybe in certain situations. But I am not completely confident about that – so I would encourage believers to study and pray themselves before making such a big decision.

          1. Thank you April for sharing some passages. I’m not divorced at the moment but have been abandoned for some time. I thought for awhile there was real hope but doesn’t seem so now. However I haven’t been released from my stand by God and do believe I shouldn’t initiate a divorce. This blog has helped me a lot to just keep focusing on my relationship with God. Some days are great and others really painful. But I continue to be amazed at all I’m learning and how I’m changing. And def experiencing some amazing times with Jesus.
            Love ya sister

            1. Nicole,

              I’m so sorry to hear about the situation in your marriage. 🙁 Are y’all having any contact at all now?
              But I am thrilled to hear that you are seeking the Lord and learning and growing in Christ. That is awesome!

              How may we pray for you and support you?

              Sending you a huge hug!

      1. Satisfied Wife,

        I listened to the video you shared. Thank you for that. 🙂

        I think Criswell made some important points. I do think that sometimes we put not getting divorced or not separating as the greatest priority – and I don’t believe that is always what is most important. Obviously, scripture teaches that if an unbelieving spouse leaves, we are to let him/her go. We aren’t supposed to try to force that person to stay or save the marriage at all costs. Our walk with the Lord is the most important thing, and our yielding to Him and obeying Him. There are times when separation can be a necessary step in healing when things are extremely toxic. Of course, separation is not the same thing as divorce. I believe that it is ideal for believers not to be the ones initiating divorce, generally. That is my understanding. But I do think a believer may have to initiate separation at times. I am not an expert on this topic and I am not the Lord. No one answers to me.

        When Criswell said, “God didn’t put my marriage together, I did.” I understand what he is trying to say say, I think. He wasn’t maybe seeking God wholeheartedly at the time. Maybe he didn’t pray or genuinely look for God’s approval before choosing the wife he chose. I don’t know his story yet, so I am guessing. However, I don’t believe that was the point Jesus was making when He said, “What God has joined together, let no man separate.”

        Some posts about what it means “What God has joined together, let no man separate.”

        A Christian spouse can’t stop a spouse (who is rebellious against the Lord) from ripping the covenant apart. What we are called to do is uphold our end of things and to be faithful to the Lord ourselves. If a spouse leaves, that is on the unfaithful spouse’s head. He/she is accountable to the Lord for that. The believing spouse is definitely free to live alone at that point without that spouse.

        1. April,

          I’m glad you listened to it and see where I was coming from in that comment! And I also want to add that, in Michael’s case, when he heard from the Lord in his heart concerning that scripture “let no man separate what God has joined together”—– he was experiencing what the Bible says elsewhere about how the Word of God is alive and active. The Spirit spoke to His heart concerning that scripture in a personal, living way in that moment.

          That is another thing that needs mentioning —- in terms of all these questions that are largely debated about divorce and remarriage, etc. —- it is important that each believer has their own personal relationship with God, and that they don’t turn aside to man for answers. The Lord may use one of his children to speak truth to His child, but we should never turn aside to another human being for an answer concerning our life or spiritual life. We are to each have our own personal walk and relationship with the Lord, so that His Spirit can guide us in all matters of life. In Romans it says that those that are led by the Spirit of God are the sons of God. It doesn’t say that those who are led by other believers, or even the Bible are the sons of God—- it says that those who are led by the Spirit are the true sons of God!

          So it is important that in any situation, we all seek the Lord alone for answers, and allow His Spirit to guide us into all truth, which He may indeed lead us to another child of God to receive light about certain things!

          I don’t see why it is so hard to believe that the Lord would allow an unbelieving spouse to leave and divorce His child if they are getting in God’s way in the believer’s life. The Lord will have no competitors! And even in terms of remarriage —- why would that be so hard to believe that it is ok to remarry in certain instances? The proof is always in the fruit of the heart. If someone is remarried after having been divorced by an unbeliever, and they sought God and waited on God for the right believing spouse — and they are experiencing peace and joy and fruit in their heart and life and they are remarried —- how can any man on earth say they are in the wrong?

          God doesn’t bless anyone with peace and rest in the heart when they are disobeying Him! That is an experienced fact!

          So either way, I just pray that any who come across all this might be turned to the Lord and seeking Him for all things, and to put Him first and foremost in their heart and life!


          1. Amanda,

            Yes, ultimately, our only solid ground for making any decision is the Word of God and the Spirit of God – which always work together. And you are right, we must depend on God’s leading, not just the wisdom of men or what men say.

            I have no issue with the Lord allowing an unbeliever to leave a Christian and the unbeliever divorcing the Christian. I have seen a number of people experience major spiritual healing when a toxic spouse who is living in unrepentant sin separates or divorces them.

            I don’t judge if a spouse was abandoned by an unbelieving spouse or if a spouse was cheated on and believes the Lord calls them to remarry. No one answers to me at all. Only to God. I don’t think it is my place, though, to issue a blanket statement to everyone that remarriage is always acceptable in God’s eyes in specific situations unless I have extremely solid scripture to back me up. There is scripture that prohibits remarriage without qualification. There are some passages that seem to prohibit remarriage except for possibly sexual immorality or fornication. The passage in 1 Corinthians 7:15 may allow for believers to remarry a believer if an unbelieving spouse leaves. But I can see both sides of the arguments for the debate around those passages.

            I will let God’s Word speak for Hims as people seek to follow and obey Him. I don’t want them to follow me or my wisdom. And I certainly don’t ever want to mislead anyone. So if I am not completely clear on God’s will about a certain thing, I don’t want to give a verdict myself. I have known those who have remarried whom God has used in amazing ways.

            Yes, that is my desire, as well. That we might put Him first in everything. 🙂

            Thanks for this important discussion!

            1. A few more thoughts:

              To me, it is clear that when Jesus is speaking to the Pharisees in Matthew 19 that He is speaking about all marriages. Not just for believers. Not just for those who were seeking Him when they got married. Once people chose to get married, God joined them together as one flesh. The restrictions He gave on divorce were shocking to the Pharisees and to His own disciples.

              In 1 Corinthians 7:10-11
              To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

              In this passage, there are no exceptions given. The passages where there may be exceptions for divorce, there isn’t mention of remarriage (except to say that generally remarriage is adultery. But it could be implied that remarriage may be okay for those in the exceptions.) There really aren’t verses about handling remarriage or step-families in scripture. Of course, there also aren’t passages about people who have remarried being kicked out of the church or disciplined.

              This is an area where I don’t want to inadvertently mislead anyone or be the reason a brother or sister stumbles. I want to take all of the passages, especially in the New Testament, about the topic of divorce into account. I know that divorce is thought of lightly in our culture. I also know we can make idols out of marriage or that people can stay in horrible situations trying to save a marriage when they really should separate. My hope is to point people to the Word and to the Spirit and never to advise people to go against God’s Word but that they might study for themselves and seek God’s Spirit’s wisdom.

            2. April,

              I didn’t mean that towards you but what you shared is obviously helpful! 🙂

              I meant in general, most people who debate these topics have never been through a divorce or remarriage so for them to tell someone in a totally unique situation that they are going to commit an unpardonable sin if they are divorced or remarried is just wrong. Every believer is to walk in the light and like you said the Spirit will lead according to the Word.

              The fact is that there are so many believers who have been led by the teachings of men and have been taught that marriage is the end all and if you do wrong in this realm you are sentenced to hell.

              God is in the heart restoration business more than anything and the number one thing is not anything except Jesus Christ being Lord and worked into those who He has saved.

              So many people end up losing their spiritual life as a result of legalistically trying to live out what men teach instead of seeking God for themselves and living in true spirit union with Him.

              I pray all will seek God and rely on His Spirit as well for light and guidance.

              Lots of love,

              1. Amanda,

                It is difficult to get the balance right for us as humans.

                – There is grace in Christ! PRAISE GOD FOR THAT! There is hope for all of us in Him no matter what our circumstances.
                – There are also parameters of God’s Word and His commands – and those give Life as we live in obedience in the power of the Spirit.
                – There is discernment and the leading of the Spirit for each of us as individuals in gray areas which always goes along with the Word.

                May the Lord help us to rightly handle His Word and His Spirit for His glory.

                Much love!

              2. Amanda,

                I think we do need to want to obey the Lord. Obedience is not legalism when we are seeking to obey the Lord and the Bible. Of course divorce is not an unpardonable sin, thankfully! And if a believer has a spouse who divorces them, they have not sinned at all, necessarily. It could be totally the unbelieving spouse who has sinned.

                However, if God is commanding us that we are not to remarry – then it is not legalism for us to honor His Word, it is beautiful obedience.

                If it is merely men who say that, then we don’t have to be concerned.

                But we need to be really sure that we understand what God is saying before we choose a course of action. He does say that remarriage is adultery – at least in many cases. If what He is saying is that remarriage is always adultery – then we can’t love Him and willfully go against Him. That is something to be sober-minded about. When we love Jesus, we will want to obey Him because He has our best interests at heart.

                If He gives exceptions and allows remarriage for those exceptions, awesome. Whatever the Lord calls sin and whatever He doesn’t call sin – I am good with His Word.

                But, I agree with HH, that things can seem a bit gray in this area. So I want to personally tread with much caution.

          2. April,

            when I said, “So many people end up losing their spiritual life as a result of legalistically trying to live out what men teach instead of seeking God for themselves and living in true spirit union with Him” — I was saying that people end up losing their spiritual life as a result of legalistically trying to follow what MEN teach. I am 110% for obedience to God alone!!!!!!

            That is why it is so important that we all have our own personal relationship with the Lord, that He is able to guide us in all things in life as we seek Him above ALL! That is the way of life and peace!

            But for any who may not have experienced this personal relationship with the Lord, and they are always seeking answers to their issues from another human being —- that is where trouble comes.

            We are obligated, as having been reborn in Christ spiritually, to obey Jesus Christ! Yes!

            I also agree that things are extremely gray in the area of remarriage, etc. And that is why it calls for each of us to have a personal, living, relationship with the Lord in spirit, that we are able to hear from Him by the Spirit, and follow His leading in the way He wills for us in all areas of life!

            But from experience, I know first hand that the Lord may indeed lead someone to remarry. I am married to a divorced man! You know all this, but for those who don’t — he married outside of God’s will at a time when he did NOT know or care about God at all. She committed adultery numerous times, and he still stayed with her and tried to make it work out. And then after a series of catastrophic events in his life —- he turned to the Lord. And as he began turning to the Lord, and seeking to get his wife to join him in the quest for the Lord — that is when the adultery kicked up to full notch, and before long, SHE left! He literally experienced the Lord removing his wife from his life. He tried to make it work, he prayed for her to find the Lord. He held on for as long as he could — and then SHE walked out.

            He sought the Lord and felt that he was indeed freed from this marriage and he proceeded accordingly.

            Now, years later, he was totally on fire for God. And out of no where one day, he felt the Lord impress upon his heart strongly that he was going to be getting married again! He didn’t even desire another wife. He didn’t even WANT to be remarried. He wanted to do God’s will, and he was in close fellowship with the Lord. That was about 3 months before we met.

            Now, if there was absolutely NO room for anyone to ever get remarried —– then that means that he is currently committing adultery, as am I. And if that is the truth and I am just completely deceived and blinded — then how is it that I can experience the true heart peace and rest and joy that is only found in settled union in Christ? How is it that the Lord can be leading me in my life, and clearly guiding me in His will?! How could I ever hear Him speak if I was blindly sinning against Him?

            Now— in the case of perhaps someone who divorced their wife for no reason at all, and just divorced her because he didn’t “love” her anymore, or didn’t “Want” her anymore —- and then he decides to go remarry — then yes, I believe that is clearly wrong!

            But when it is not the case, and the person is clearly seeking the Lord, and waiting on Him to lead them —- and He indeed leads them to remarry —- who is anyone to say that is wrong?

            That is where I am coming from — and it is my desire to share this to show that each person has to seek God for themselves. Each person has to follow their own convictions — the Bible says that if anyone does anything without faith — it is sin to them. Meaning that, if we feel in our own conscience something is not right, and we do it anyway — then it becomes sin to us.

            If someone was left by an unbelieving spouse, and they feel convicted that to remarry is wrong — and then they remarry anyway, then it would be sin for them. But if a believer was left, and does not feel that conviction, and they remarry according to God’s leading and will — then it is done in faith and is not considered sin!

            I am done sharing about this topic. It is a distraction more than anything! 🙂 My desire is to see everyone have heart and life and eyes set on the Lord and doing His will, no matter the cost! That is where life is found to be!

            In the end, there is no marriage in heaven. The only thing that matters in marriage is whether or not we were conformed to Christ. In the end, all that matters is Jesus Christ! That is where my heart is at and my desire is at seeing women be set free from all these weights that hold them down, and having their hearts turned to Him, and finding that sure peace and rest that is only found in Him!

            Lots of love,

            1. Amanda,

              Thank you so much for sharing your husband’s story and your story. It is extremely important that we each have our own walk with the Lord and that we listen to and follow Him alone. The church can be an encouragement to us. But you are so right that we have to be careful not to follow the teaching of men or listen to people instead of seeking God ourselves.

              It is my greatest desire to see believers filled up with Jesus, ready to do whatever He calls them to do (which will always be in agreement with Scripture).

              It is unbelievably heartbreaking how very messed up things can get and how much pain can happen in a marriage when one spouse is involved in unrepentant sin. I can’t begin to fathom what your husband endured. No spouse should ever have to experience such pain!

              I know I don’t have everything figured out for every situation – which is why I don’t judge other believers’ decisions in such situations. SO thankful God knows and that He can lead each of us as we seek Him and yield to Him wholeheartedly. He has infinitely more wisdom than I do.

              What the Lord has done in your heart is AMAZING, inspiring, and beautiful.

              You are precious to me!

              Much love!
              April ❤️💜❤️

      2. 1 Corinthians 7:15-16 NIV
        But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. [16] How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

        Simply. Faith.
        He has called us to peace but the next verse says WIFE how do you know you will save YOUR HUSBAND…
        He’s called you to peace, he hasnt called for divorce… We all make choices out of Gods will sometimes but the bible still stands. I love that she is standing strong!!!!!
        God has given her peace but in the midst is still standing strong on Gods promise to her!!!!!

  6. Hey all,

    Hope you are all doing well! I am doing very well, settled nicely into my new house and location and focusing on the children, church and a few other things.

    I was chatting to a friend last night about the issue of divorce and remarriage and thought I might weigh in with a few thoughts. He was actually my counsellor a few years ago and we have developed a solid friendship. Whilst I do not see him for counselling anymore he visits for dinner occasionally and spends a few hours playing with the kids and catching up with me.

    I know that for me my spiritual healing did not come until after our separation, I needed to be out of that toxic environment and able to clearly hear the Lords leading and words of healing. I could not hear that when dealing with the constant toxicity I was in. My friend made the comment last night about the restfulness and peace that characterises my home now and the benefits that is having for the children. They are very settled in this environment. He encouraged me to be like the Bereans on the issue of remarriage, the Bereans searched the scriptures regularly to determine for themselves what is truth

    He also made some very interesting points that I had not considered before, for example in the story of the Samaritan woman at the well Jesus pointed out that she had in fact had 5 husbands, meaning that Jesus himself recognised each of those men as a “husband”, he did not say that she had committed adultery with those 5 men. We often assume that because the man she was currently with was not recognised as a husband that Jesus must be making the point that the other men she married were not husbands either, but that is not what he is saying. She may well have been just living in a sexual relationship with her current partner. For all we know her other husbands had died in battle, or perhaps she had been divorced due to their adultery. This information is not given, but we must be careful not to assume that her previous marriages were not legitimate. Interestingly, my friend has counselled a woman who is on her 4th marriage and all 3 of her previous husbands had died (cancer, car accident and heart attack), and she is often judged when people find out she is married for the 4th time.

    Personally, I have found the scripture to be quite grey on the issue of remarriage. I find it quite clear on the issue of divorce (that God hates divorce and that we should avoid it at all costs, that adultery and an unbelieving spouse leaving are grounds for divorce) but not clear on remarriage. Whilst Jesus stated in absolute correctness that we should not “sunder” a marriage, in stating that he was also recognising that living in a broken world will mean that there will be marriages that are sundered.

    The thought has been suggested to me recently that once a person is divorced then they are in fact “unmarried” and therefore all the scripture that talks about the “unmarried” (such as marrying a believer in the Lord, having appropriate physical boundaries in place before the marriage etc) is actually God’s provision and leading for a person considering remarriage. 1 Corinthians 7 seems to only have 4 categories of people mentioned, the “married”, the “unmarried”, the “widow/widower” and the “virgin”. Into what category does a divorced person fit? It would seem to me that they are “unmarried”. In fact the wife in 1 Corinthians 7:11 who has separated from her husband is actually called “unmarried” and the greek used for this is exactly the same as the greek earlier on in the chapter in verses 8-9 which says “Now to the “unmarried” and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay “unmarried”, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

    Also in verse 28 it says “But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned.” which puts a clear distinction between a virgin and someone in a different situation. The different situation is obviously not a person already married so from that chapter it would leave two categories of people, the widow/widower and the “unmarried”. It is clear from other scripture in Romans that a widow/widower is very free to remarry in the Lord, so the question is does the “unmarried” include the divorced? It is possible that based on the verses I mentioned earlier that it does.

    From a practical perspective, remarriage I think can sometimes have benefits that would not be there otherwise for children. It is God’s ideal that a child has a godly biological mother and father who care for their physical, emotional and spiritual needs, but the reality of living in a fallen world means that there are many children to whom living with their biological parents would literally mean that their lives were in danger. God does not call those children to live in that unsafe situation just because it is what “should” happen in His intended design, there are many wonderful people who have taken on board these at risk children as their own and raised them in safety and love. I have considered this with my own children, that I have a young daughter who will need to communicate with someone about practical matters such as female hygiene and the things associated with teenage changes. I think it would be extremely difficult for her to share these things with me as a father and the reality is that I can not understand them in the way a woman can, so I can see a benefit for her to have a godly woman in my life who she can build a relationship with and be comfortable to ask these things.

    All that being said, remarriage is no light matter!!!! The sundering of a marriage is something God hates and marriage is an institution that is to be regarded as sacred and holy. Some of my recent thoughts on it.

    Love to all, HH

    Maybe I should change my username to Humbled Unmarried now instead of Humbled Husband?!!!

    1. HH,

      I definitely believe there are times when separation is very necessary – as it was for you. I have seen a number of believers really be able to heal after not having to live with a very ungodly, unrepentant spouse.

      I really wish Jesus told the woman at the well what she needed to do from this point on. But He didn’t address how to correct her sin. All we know is that she met Jesus and was changed. 🙂 Maybe that is all we need to know.

      I do know that the Lord gives us the information we need in the Bible. If I feel things have been left out – that is probably my problem, not a problem with the Bible.

      I agree that scripture is more clear, to me, on the issues of separation and divorce, not as clear on any exceptions to the command not to remarry.

      It is my understanding that Paul was speaking to the men when he said “if you do marry, you have not sinned” and then I believe it was assumed that an unmarried woman was a virgin (of course, an unmarried man should have been, also).

      Surely there were divorces and remarriages in the New Testament times. And yet, that issue is never discussed in terms of how to deal with it in the Body.

      I have seen children thrive in a remarriage – although there can be many more challenges there than in a first marriage. Sometimes the challenges can be quite overwhelming for everyone involved.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts, HH.

      May the Lord give you His wisdom and direction!

      1. Hi April,

        Thank you for your thoughts and prayer ☺ Yes, there would also be many extra challenges for both the children and the adults within a second marriage. In similar ways that there have been extra challenges for foster children, I know that the foster children my parents looked after did create extra strain on their marriage, but the fruit in the lives of those children and ultimately in the way their own marriage was strengthened by these extra challenges has been beautiful ☺

        I can see what you are saying about verse 28 being about men as compared to an unmarried woman and assuming an unmarried woman was a virgin. That thought also fits the context of that verse, especially when read together with verse 27. However, I do still see a distinction between the “unmarried” and a “virgin” in these verses and I think this thought is perhaps even clearer in verses 32 and 34 where it actually uses the phrases “an unmarried man” and then “an unmarried woman OR virgin”. To me that is an even clearer differentiation between the “unmarried” and “virgin”.

        Love in Christ, HH

          1. April, you are welcome!

            I found that different translations present that scripture a slightly different way, for example the KJV translates verse 34 as “The unmarried woman” whereas the NIV records it as “an unmarried woman or virgin”. Looking at an interlinear version of the bible with direct greek-english words I think the NIV has the more accurate translation as the greek says “ho agamos gynē ho kai ho parthenos” which directly translates as “An unmarried woman or a virgin”.

            Anyway, as always, it is not my word that matters but God’s word and we must all search out these things in good conscience before Him!

            In Christ, HH

    2. Dear HH,

      This was beautiful and much food for thought. While I also believe marriage is a sacred union and divorce should be absolute last resort I have also questioned the strict no remarriage held by some and I read scriptures and pray about it a lot.

      If someone marries in faith and honesty and the other person hides their true colours until after the wedding for example how many years should the honest spouse live in misery or abuse. How many marriages start with deception.

      From what I read in my Bible I don’t believe God would expect that honest spouse to stay in that trap or divorce and live alone unmarried or the rest of their lives. Then Satan wins it would seem to me. As if he was able to kill steal and destroy their destiny and even them.

      Now I know there are many who will say all manner of things against a spouse they no longer want to be married to just to get out. And that is wrong too. But some people, many more than we realise, have been lured into marriages with deceitful people broken people perhaps but who have no interest in repentance and change.

      I like what you said about Jesus and the 5 husbands. I was just reading that today and that pov didn’t occur to me but makes sense.

      Glad to hear you are well and thanks again for so much food for thought.


  7. I just wanted to add one piece about Amanda’s post at 1:55pm. I agree that Separation or Divorce or Remarriage is not an “unpardonable sin”, and I agree that doing wrong in this realm does not mean you are sentenced to hell. Jesus died to cover our sins!!! So I think we should all get those lies out of our heads if they’re in there.

    HOWEVER, as Paul wrote, just because sin is forgiven and covered doesn’t mean we should go on doing it. We should still desire holiness and not make a decision that is sinful because we’re rationalizing that God will forgive it.

    I want to believe that it’s ok to get remarried, and many people who I respect have remarried. I just don’t know. But I’ll likely have to work through that between God and me at some point, because my husband and I are right in the very middle of legally separating. Gosh it’s a mess. Even just financially separating is so complicated.

    I’ve grown so much through this journey, thanks to God and the way He has so beautifully taught His Word and truths through April’s teachings/encouragements. It’s so hard to see my spouse making decisions that I believe aren’t the best ones…but the only person I can control is myself! Realizing that divorce is not an unforgivable sin was hugely helpful to me. Nothing my husband does can take away my salvation! For I am convinced that NOTHING can separate me from God’s love. I’ve sought to honor God and will continue to, trusting that HIS plans for me are GOOD.

    Also, even if our separation turns into divorce, my identity will not be as a Divorcee with a capital D. My identity is a Christ-follower, Daughter of the King, Beloved and Sought-after and Chosen, Bought with a Price and Belonging to my Creator and Redeemer!!!

    I would really appreciate prayers that God will clearly lead me and that I will be sensitive to hearing from Him and be guided by Him.

    1. BrokenButGrowing,

      I really wish there was more written about remarriage in the New Testament, myself. I have a lot of questions on the issue.

      I agree, these sins are not unpardonable. The question becomes – if we realize we are sinning, we need to stop sinning and repent. Repenting means we give up the sin we are committing. There are no instructions given in the New Testament, to my knowledge, about how to repent from a remarriage that was sinful. Do you have to divorce that partner? Do you have to break up a new family? Do you stay in the remarriage? But if you stay, doesn’t it continue to be adultery? Of course, if I remarried wrongly before accepting Christ, I would assume the later part of I Corinthians 7 would apply – to remain in the place where you were when Jesus called you. But If I divorced wrongly and remarried wrongly while being a believer – what does repentance look like? I am not really sure.

      I personally feel like I have a lot more questions than answers sometimes on the topic of remarriage.

      Many people I respect have remarried and a number of them have godly marriages. I don’t believe I am remotely qualified to judge others in this area. But yes, if it were me, I would have to do a TON of praying, fasting, and seeking the Lord on this issue.

      I’m so sorry that things are such a mess in your marriage.

      No, even if your husband divorces you, that doesn’t affect your salvation! You are SO right! NOTHING can separate you from the love of Christ. And no one can take away your identity in Christ. I love that!

      Praying that the Lord will lead you and that you will hear and obey Him in everything – that your life might bring great glory to Jesus!

      Much love to you!

  8. I am incredulous at this testimony, it is both inspirational and transformative! Thank you for sharing and please let us know what transpires! In the meantime, I wish you all deep peace and healing for your hearts and homes, and dedicate this song to just that. Bless you!

  9. I loved how Free in Christ and ͏y͏o͏u sisters chose to battle spiritually! A great example for everyone – with total trust in God and surrender to Him for the outcome. Thank you for sharing this inspiring experience.

  10. Note about FreeinChrist – She believed the Lord called her to pray for the reconciliation of her marriage. She has felt extremely specifically called to do this in her particular case.

    Much love!

  11. Hallelujah sisters! What an amazing story! It warms me to my very core!
    I pray for you sister, FreeinChrist
    Yes let us always glorify God and give Him our struggles that He may unravel the knots in our lives, only He can!
    Glory to God in the highest!

    1. jesuscentreoflife,
      I’m so thankful our sister’s faith and story blessed you. Yes, may God be greatly glorified in the midst of our deepest struggles and most challenging storms!

  12. Hi April,

    This story touched me greatly. I have been battling for quite some time now. My husband filed back in May. He continues to ask for 1/2 our insurance money from the home fire. He promised me so many things. He said he would build our home back and not divorce, but not live with me or my girls. Then he changed his mind.

    I filed for custody/visitation of my youngest daughter and he is furious with me. I was not seeing my daughter and he was turning her against me.

    In June we found out my husband had a kidney tumor that was quite large and three tumors on a lung. He started to get close to me for a few days but then went back to being angry again. August 2nd, he had his kidney removed and didn’t tell me or my oldest daughter. He would not share much with me. Then he decided to travel out West for some alternative treatments. His mother, step dad, and brother traveled with him and I was given my youngest daughter to care for.

    Thankfully, the court date for our divorce was put off until January. I have continued to tell my husband I didn’t want a divorce that it went against my beliefs and the other day he admitted it went against his beliefs, too. This is so confusing to me. If it goes against his beliefs, why is he doing it?

    Then I get the notification about this story. I actually copied Mal 2:16 and sent it to my husband. I have tried to be kind to him while he has been away. Wishing him good health and safe travels. I offered to cook for him when he returned and that’s when he snapped.

    He said he couldn’t be near me because of the court case I filed. He started bashing me as a wife. He can’t hear scripture right now. The other day he said this, “Early on I liked strong Tina, I could hide behind her and coast thru stuff, but later on I realized you’re not one to follow orders (if you disagree). Forget it. My life was a struggle to get you to do as I say. You need to follow your own game plan. It’s best for both of us.” He also said, “We are fundamentally different people than we were.”

    So am I fighting to stay in a marriage because its the right thing to do? Or do I just let him go like he has asked. To be free of his wife and family? This is all very complicated.

    Blessings to all,


    1. Tina,

      You have been through an extremely difficult 2 years or so, I believe it has been. Whew. 🙁

      But, I actually don’t think this is as complicated as it may seem. Here are my suggestions based on my understanding of scripture:

      – Respect his decision to not want to be married and let him go. If he wants to go through with a divorce, let him do so. (1 Cor. 7:15)
      – You don’t have to fight him verbally to get him to stay.
      – Let him initiate contact unless there is truly an emergency and you need to let him know something about your children.
      – Don’t try to share about spiritual things right now. (I Peter. 3:1-2)
      – Be available to bless him if he is open to it.
      – Pray and entrust him, his health, his attitude, and his soul to the Lord and invite Him to transform him and heal Him.
      – Invite other, trusted prayer partners to pray with you for him, your children, and yourself.
      – Acknowledge that you can’t change your husband and determine to wait on the Lord.
      – Don’t expect anything good from your husband at this point. He seems to have been ensnared by the enemy and taken captive to do his will.

      I’m so glad you shared that you don’t want a divorce. That is interesting that he said it goes against his beliefs, too. Let’s let God’s Spirit work on him and see what He might do.

      If what he wants is you to blindly follow him and do anything he selfishly demands, that is not going to work. 🙁

      But you can certainly demonstrate to him that you are not going to control him or dictate anything to him or try to change him. And that you would like to honor his leadership appropriately if he were willing to return to the marriage and wanted to try to reconcile.

      1 Corinthians 7 has some helpful instructions for a wife in such a situation. You can remain living as a single person if he doesn’t want to reconcile. But you can seek to be ready to help reconcile if he has a heart change and repents and is willing to build a healthy marriage. But you are not required to try to make him stay. You can let him go if he doesn’t want to be there and you can respect his decision.

      Most of all, I want to see you healed more and more and strong in Christ. I know He will direct your steps, my sweet sister.

      Sending you the biggest hug!

      1. Tina,

        And, of course, considering his health situation, time may be rather short. (Although, none of us are guaranteed another day on this earth in any situation.) What you are describing sounds like stage 4 cancer if the tumors are cancerous. My greatest prayer for him is that he might be right with the Lord and at peace with Him. His illness may also be impacting his actions, as well. There are some people who purposely alienate their closest family members when they are facing a severe illness because they think it will be less painful for their family members to let them go. And there are some who are feeling so awful physically and so scared spiritually, that they lash out at those around them. I don’t know for sure how much his tumors may be impacting his personality and the way he is relating and the changeableness of what he says. But that is certainly within the realm of possibility that his illness could be impacting him this way.

        1. April,
          Thank you so much. I’m going to read the scriptures you have shown me. I believe he is angry because he is sick. I do believe I am his punching bag. I am cooperating with his request to divorce but not paving the way. I too was shocked when he said it went against his beliefs to divorce.

          He hasn’t started any chemo yet. They removed the kidney and said the tumor was very large. He went for some alternative treatment in Nevada. Something herbal? I don’t know. He has lost a lot of weight. Today I saw him from afar briefly and he looked very thin. He coughed a little. He has had that cough since March. He told me the doctor wanted him to take a chemo pill. He hasn’t shared a lot with me

          He is very focused on splitting everything we own. It has been a very difficult two years.
          I told him yesterday to just pray. I hope he does. He was once a very spiritual person. Way more than I was.

          Thanks for your response!

  13. Hi April,
    I received a message. Yes. You have my story correct. The fire and separation.

    Today we are meeting my daughters Guardian ad litem . She is going to try and work out a custody agreement.

    I’m curious your thoughts on this. Some others suggested I relinquish control and allow my husband to handle the custody arrangements. I just want to spend time with my daughter. And know when it will be. I’d like quality time with her. It’s almost like he just wants to hurt me.

    I found out he is taking [edited out by Peaceful Wife] chemo pill. He said he will have to take it the rest of his life. It looks like it has a lot of side effects

    I’ll appreciate prayers this morning for this meeting with my Husband and the Guardian


    1. Tina,

      Thank you. 🙂 I am trying to keep my two Tinas straight!

      Would you be able to remind me how old your daughter is, please?

      And do you have any sense of what you believe the Lord may be prompting you to do about custody? I believe His voice and prompting is the one you will need most.

      Thanks for sharing the medicine he is taking. I’m going to edit it out of your comment. I don’t see personality/mental changes in the prescribing information. Although he sure is going through a lot. If he doesn’t have the strength of the Lord, I don’t know what he may be looking to for security and stability.

      Praying for God to lead and for His glory. I KNOW He will make something beautiful from this mess.

      Much love and a huge hug!

      1. Hi April

        My daughter is now 17. She was 15 when this started. I feel like the Lord wants me to continue to be as involved in my daughters life. I’m still very active with the music booster and I’m always at her school helping with the band. She knows that mom is still there for her. My husband said my daughter only wanted to see me some when she decides. The guardian corrected him and said that my daughter said she wanted 50/50. I think my daughter is afraid to tell her dad what she wants.

        At first I wanted 50/50. But now that he has cancer I feel like I need to be more involved in her life. Of course I’d rather have her 100% as I’d like my whole family together but I don’t feel that’s going to happen. My husband was very rude to me at the meeting. He thinks it’s ok to leave my daughter in the evenings so he can spend time with the OW. Apparently because he decided to leave our marriage it’s not considered adultery. Even though we are still married he is free to do as he pleases. He can even involve my daughter in this relationship with the OW. It makes me cringe. If he is at the OW house every single day and my daughter is floating around at other friends houses or even the ow or home alone I feel like she is better off with me.

        Thanks for listening

        1. Tina,

          I’m glad that there is someone to help mediate and speak up for your daughter. That is a really tough position for a teenage girl to be in. Wow, it breaks my heart to hear the choices your husband is making. How I pray he will turn to the Lord while he has time.

          And I pray for God to guide you, to uphold you by His right hand and to bring much beauty from all of the storms and ashes in your life and your daughter’s life.

          Once your daughter is 18, what happens with the custody issues?

          Much love!

          1. Hi April,

            When she turns 18 she can live where she wants to. She is a senior in school and won’t be 18 until next june. She has now started talking about going to college. This is a huge change from last year. Las year my Husband and my daughter were going to move to Fla after she graduated. I am super excited my daughter has decided to stay in Va and she wants to attend the same college as my oldest daughter. I think for me being the stay at home mom for the last 21 years I want to be a part of every single thing my daughter is involved in. When she stays with me I know everything because she tells me. When she is at her dads I feel left out. I think if we could get back into every other week at the very least our relationship can build stronger. I also feel like she might feel “disloyal” to her dad if she does stay with me by choice.


            1. Tina,

              It is kind of good news that this is really only going to be an issue – the custody thing – for about 9 months. I’m glad to hear she is talking about college. And I love that you want to be involved in her life – that is a good thing! It is so tough for a teenager to be in a position like that. She probably wants to love you both. She needs the freedom to be able to do that without feeling guilty or like she is betraying one or the other parent.

              Praying for the Lord’s leading and for God’s healing for you all.

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