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Stages of This Journey – Summary


There was a large update done on this site Friday afternoon and since then there have been a number of technical issues since then. I’m hopeful those issues will be completely resolved today.


If you don’t have a close relationship with Jesus Christ as Your Savior and Lord, that is the first place to start on this journey. There is no way to be godly or peaceful in our own power. We all desperately need the work of Jesus on the cross on our behalf and we need the power of God’s Spirit to transform our lives. Here is a post about how you can know Christ and how you can give your life to Him.


These are general stages I have noticed as I have walked beside thousands of women on this journey. They aren’t always linear and don’t always go in the same order – and this post doesn’t cover everything on this life-long road as we seek to become godly women. But I think this may help you get a general idea. 🙂

In Part 1 of this series:

1. Conviction – Seeing my sin as God sees it, having my eyes opened to the fact that I am a big time sinner (I may see for the first time that I have been controlling, idolizing self or my  husband, disrespectful, bitter, resentful, contentious, filled with fear and unbelief in God, and trusting myself or other things instead of God.)
2. Repentance – Turning totally away from my sin in disgust and turning completely to Jesus and His ways.
3. The Frustrating Quiet Phase – Things often get worse before they get better
4. Seeking God First – The Lordship of Christ


In Part 2 of this series:

5. Giving My Husband Space
6. Feeling Totally Overwhelmed – I see who I am supposed to be and what I need to change but feel like I just can’t get there yet. I may be trying to do this in my own strength instead of yielding to Christ and allowing His Spirit to radically change me.
7. Learning to Use My Words and Emotions to Bless
8. Dying to Self
9. Developing a Grateful Heart
10. Taking Every Thought Captive – (Recognizing the voice of the enemy)
12. Feeling Discouraged because My Husband Isn’t Changing –  (I Want My Husband to Change, Too!)

Part 3 of this series:

13. Extending Grace on a Greater Level
14. Greater Sensitivity to God’s Voice
15. Finding a New Balance of Intimacy/Space/Closeness in Marriage
16. I See My Husband in a New Light


In Part 4 of this series:

17. There may be a Plateau – Will I keep pursuing Christ above all things or allow myself to drift away?

18. I Realize How Carefully I Must Guard My Heart Around other Men – Now that I have all of this knowledge.

19. There are many spiritual tests along the way – Will I respond in the power of the old sinful flesh or in the Spirit?

20. Teaching/mentoring our daughters and other women

Some other things we learn along the way:


  • My book, The Peaceful Wife – Living in Submission to Christ As Lord, ties everything together and may be a very helpful place to start this journey. I go through my story, a spiritual inventory, God’s design for marriage, what disrespect is, what respect is to our  husbands, how to handle conflict, what biblical submission is and is not, the Lordship of Christ, acknowledging our sin, my husband’s perspective as God began to change me, how to speak respectfully, how to address issues respectfully, tons of ideas on how to respect our husbands, and quite a few stories from other wives on this journey.
  • Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
  • For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn (to help us better understand how men think)
  • The Respect Dare – by Nina Roesner
  • Absolute Surrender – by Andrew Murray (to help us learn to fully yield all to Christ as Lord)


5 thoughts on “Stages of This Journey – Summary

  1. thanks for this April, I need to spend some time reading through all of this. Your posts are such a blessing as always.

    How is everyone on here doing? I haven’t seen much activity lately and haven’t had much time to check in. I have been thinking of you all.

    1. TrulyBlessed,

      My site was redone last Friday to allow for some updates – and there were a lot of issues with comments and links for a few days. Then I just realized today that I lost almost all of my email and WordPress followers. That is supposed to be fixed today.

      So hopefully, things will be back to normal VERY soon and we will be having our wonderful discussions again! 🙂

      I’m so glad this was a blessing.

      Much love!

  2. Thank you for wonderful blogs Peaceful Wife and Husband April and Greg. You truly are a blessing and I want to lift you up in prayer: Lord Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father please bless April, Greg, their children and family with peace, prosperity and health. Bless them with your wisdom, strength, discernment and courage. Please bless their blogs and the participants with direct guidance from your Spirit that your will be done and your purposes be achieved through it. Guard their ministry from any attacks from evil and let it be fruitful and transform people’s lives for purposes of your Kingdom. In Jesus name. Amen.

    Thanks to all the ladies (and gentlemen) for all the encouragement and advice shared. It is great to see and experience the sharing of faith, obedience, determination and Godly principles through all of you.

    At this stage of my journey I am at the point where I am pleading with God to keep on changing my heart towards complete unconditional love. Proverbs 4:23 says: Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.

    Praise God for His work in me, although some days are harder than others. I can notice it in the way that I feel more peaceful and at ease with regards to any expectations I might have had previously. I believe expectations can be related to conditional love. Perhaps faithfulness is the only real expectation one should have. Marriage is a ministry to serve one person for the rest of your life with joy – quite a commitment – not always realized in this day and culture.

    Please pray for me on this journey of unconditional love and that I may have the courage and strength to see it through to the end with joy. Please also share your views and advice.

  3. April, Thank you so much for this summary of this most difficult but important journey. As you know, the Lord led me to your blog about a year ago; I investigated and signed up for The Respect Dare after reading about it on your site. I have completed Dare 1 and started posting with other women. Thank you, thank you for this ministry and sharing your journey. I am being shown my sin and boy, it’s not pretty. Praise the Lord, though, because that’s the first step toward honoring, respecting and submitting to Jesus and my hubby. Just want you to know that all the effort and time and prayer you engage in for other wives is oh so worth it. Happy New Year,

    1. Pattie,

      It can be pretty overwhelming to see our sin. I know it was for me! I was MORTIFIED and wanted to go live in a cave and never speak to another person again when I saw how sinful my motives and thoughts were and how almost every word that came out of my mouth originated in some sinful idea. I’m so thankful for God’s mercy in revealing our sin to us so that we can turn from it – even though this part is SO YUCKY! I can’t wait to see all that God has in store for your life and marriage. 🙂

      It is my honor to get to share here. I am so grateful to God that He allows me to be a little pipe through which He pours His love, mercy, truth, and healing to so many.

      Much love to you!

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