There was a large update done on this site Friday afternoon and since then there have been a number of technical issues since then. I’m hopeful those issues will be completely resolved today.
If you don’t have a close relationship with Jesus Christ as Your Savior and Lord, that is the first place to start on this journey. There is no way to be godly or peaceful in our own power. We all desperately need the work of Jesus on the cross on our behalf and we need the power of God’s Spirit to transform our lives. Here is a post about how you can know Christ and how you can give your life to Him.
A SUMMARY OF THE STAGES OF THIS JOURNEY
These are general stages I have noticed as I have walked beside thousands of women on this journey. They aren’t always linear and don’t always go in the same order – and this post doesn’t cover everything on this life-long road as we seek to become godly women. But I think this may help you get a general idea. 🙂
In Part 1 of this series:
1. Conviction – Seeing my sin as God sees it, having my eyes opened to the fact that I am a big time sinner (I may see for the first time that I have been controlling, idolizing self or my husband, disrespectful, bitter, resentful, contentious, filled with fear and unbelief in God, and trusting myself or other things instead of God.)
2. Repentance – Turning totally away from my sin in disgust and turning completely to Jesus and His ways.
3. The Frustrating Quiet Phase – Things often get worse before they get better
4. Seeking God First – The Lordship of Christ
In Part 2 of this series:
5. Giving My Husband Space
6. Feeling Totally Overwhelmed – I see who I am supposed to be and what I need to change but feel like I just can’t get there yet. I may be trying to do this in my own strength instead of yielding to Christ and allowing His Spirit to radically change me.
7. Learning to Use My Words and Emotions to Bless
8. Dying to Self
9. Developing a Grateful Heart
10. Taking Every Thought Captive – (Recognizing the voice of the enemy)
12. Feeling Discouraged because My Husband Isn’t Changing – (I Want My Husband to Change, Too!)
Part 3 of this series:
13. Extending Grace on a Greater Level
14. Greater Sensitivity to God’s Voice
15. Finding a New Balance of Intimacy/Space/Closeness in Marriage
16. I See My Husband in a New Light
In Part 4 of this series:
17. There may be a Plateau – Will I keep pursuing Christ above all things or allow myself to drift away?
18. I Realize How Carefully I Must Guard My Heart Around other Men – Now that I have all of this knowledge.
19. There are many spiritual tests along the way – Will I respond in the power of the old sinful flesh or in the Spirit?
20. Teaching/mentoring our daughters and other women
Some other things we learn along the way:
- Learn to please God first, not our husbands first.
- Recognizing the Lies We Have Embraced -About God, ourselves, and others
- Finding contentment in Christ alone.
- Overcoming fear from the enemy with the word of God.
- Forgiving ourselves and receiving the gift of forgiveness from God. We can also ask for forgiveness from others, but don’t need it to move forward…we have God’s forgiveness if we have repented to Him and that is what matters most.
- Perfectionism and people pleasing – lies we were told were good, but really are sin and why.
- Learning to resist sinning when being sinned against.
- My book, The Peaceful Wife – Living in Submission to Christ As Lord, ties everything together and may be a very helpful place to start this journey. I go through my story, a spiritual inventory, God’s design for marriage, what disrespect is, what respect is to our husbands, how to handle conflict, what biblical submission is and is not, the Lordship of Christ, acknowledging our sin, my husband’s perspective as God began to change me, how to speak respectfully, how to address issues respectfully, tons of ideas on how to respect our husbands, and quite a few stories from other wives on this journey.
- Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
- For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn (to help us better understand how men think)
- The Respect Dare – by Nina Roesner
- Absolute Surrender – by Andrew Murray (to help us learn to fully yield all to Christ as Lord)