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Identifying the Lies We Have Embraced

Here are some lies I have come up with that some of us may believe – I’m sure they don’t all apply to everyone, but they may give you some ideas to prayerfully consider as you invite the Holy Spirit to examine the hidden motives of your heart in your quiet time. This is not an exhaustive list! If you recognize that some of these lies are things you struggle with, I invite you to search on a site like or for terms to find verses in Scripture that reveals God’s truth about these topics. Be willing to REALLY dig into whatever lies are issues for you and spend as much time as you need to hash through what is true and what is not true. Some of these things are not conscious beliefs, but rather unconscious fixed beliefs upon which we have built our lives. Allow God to transform your thinking though the power of His Word! Compare everything any human author said against the Bible. Be willing to trash ungodly thinking and rebuild your life on God’s Word.

Lies about God:

1. He is not good.
2. He is out to get me.
3. I have to earn His love.
4. God is holding out on me.
5. God’s commands are oppressive.
6. God is small and wimpy.
7. God is evil.
8. God is tempting me.
9. God can’t help me.
10. God won’t help me.
11. God is not sovereign. People are.
12. God is a tyrant. And people are just robots with no choices.
13. God needs me.
14. Jesus is not enough for me.
15. Circumstances are greater than God is.
16. God’s Word is not true or not totally true.
17. I can’t trust God.
18. God is not loving.
19. God is not just.
20. God should submit to me.
21. God just wants me to be happy (by my own definition of temporary fleshly happiness).



On my site:

Lies about Self:

1. I know better than God.
2. I am worthless/ugly/unloveable.
3. Even if I am in Christ, I am still a wretched sinner, I cannot receive my new identity and new self in Christ.
3. I am not a “real person” or a “real woman.”
4. God’s promises and His Word apply to other people, but not to me.
5. I know best for others. They all need my help and wisdom but I can’t ask for help or need help.
6. I can convict others of sin, that is my job. I am responsible for others’ decisions, choices, and the consequences they experience.
7. My sin isn’t as bad as other people’s sin.
8. God can’t forgive me.
9. I can’t forgive myself.
10. I can’t learn to hear God.
11. I must earn people’s love.
12. I am (or should be) the savior for myself and others. I am sovereign over my life and other people’s lives and circumstances.
13. I am exempt from God’s commands.
14. My emotions are greater and more important than God. They are the source of absolute truth, not God.
15. I don’t need spiritual nourishment from God and His Word.
16. I don’t have to pray for myself.
17. I can cherish certain sins and lies in my heart and be fine.
18. I am above having to forgive or give grace. I deserve to hold on to the “treasure” of  bitterness.
19. I haven’t been forgiven from much because I don’t have much sin in my life and don’t really need a Savior.
20. I can’t be beautiful in God’s eyes.
21. I can’t know God.
22. Other people are important but I am not important at all.
23. I can be close to God and strong spiritually without allowing God full access to the darkest places of my heart.
24. My motives are always good.



On my site:

Lies about Others:

1. I am more important than they are or they are more important than I am.
2. I am justified to sin against people if they don’t do what I want them to do.
3. If I am in a bad mood, I have a free pass to lash out at other people in hurtful ways.
4. People are here to serve me or I am to be a slave to people.
5. I have to avoid conflict at all costs.
6. Others are responsible for my happiness and emotions. If I am upset it is their fault and they better fix it.
7. Others are responsible for my spiritual growth and character.
8. Others should submit to me and do what I want them to do.
9. Others must be perfect by my personal definition.
10. Others should control me. And I should have no voice.
11. I should control others and they should have no voice.
12. Others’ feelings don’t matter or my feelings don’t matter.
13. I have to disrespect myself to respect others or I have to disrespect others to respect myself. I can’t respect God, myself, and others at the same time.

All of these issues require proper balance and biblical understanding. If we swing too far one way or the other, we are living in sinful, destructive mindsets rather than in the truth.


Lies about Perfectionism/People Pleasing:

1. I should be able to be perfect in my own strength without Christ. I’m a good person. I am not a wretched sinner.
2. Other people’s approval is the most important thing.
3. If I can do things perfectly in my eyes, I can control everything and I will be safe and can be guaranteed the outcomes I desire.
4. My approval and opinions are more important than God’s.
5. I am responsible for things that really aren’t my responsibility.
6. If I am not worried, afraid, and trying so hard that I am exhausted, I don’t really love other people.
7. I can’t relax and enjoy intimacy with God or with others.
8. My value is in what I do – not in who I am or in what Christ did for me.
9. If I don’t ever make mistakes, other people will love me and never be upset with me. This is a reasonable plan.
10. Perfection, in my definition(i.e.: how clean my house is, or how much I follow a list of manmade rules), is more important than people and relationships.
11. I am the key here, not God.


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Much love to you! I am praying for you.



14 thoughts on “Identifying the Lies We Have Embraced

  1. April,
    I love this all laid out! And I wanted to pose a question especially about the section of lies we tend to believe about other people! I hope all our family here will give any wisdom on the question if they feel led 🙂

    For me personally, it is easy to realize the lies I’ve believed in terms of my husband and marriage (ex-thinking I am responsible for his decisions, etc)—and it’s easy to apply the truth and realize that I’m actually NOT responsible for my husband’s life, choices, sin, etc. and to back away and be responsible for my own life and choices.

    And although it seems easy to see and apply in my marriage—-I struggle with realizing and applying these to my relationship with my child.

    As a mother, maybe some can relate—-I have always felt personally responsible for his behavior. I feel like it is my fault if he doesn’t listen, is rude, acts up in school, etc. etc. And there is no lack of outside observers that tend to directly/indirectly blame me for it all.

    Even so, the Lord has done much good and has worked many changes in this area—- but for me, there still is a lack of realization and applying of the truth in this relationship dynamic.

    I’d be curious to know if anyone struggles with this too, and how they deal with it. Or if they had struggled, and overcame it and is now able to apply the truth in the right way, while still being a responsible parent.

    Thanks!! 🙂


    1. Amanda,

      It does get a bit more tricky when we are talking about children or when we have a position of authority. In the post, I am primarily talking about lies we believe about other grown adults. The younger a child is, the less ability he has to make his own choices or to think properly for himself. We have a responsibility as parents to parent and lead our children in a way that honors Christ. We are to set godly examples for them in our own interactions with people and with God. We are to teach them God’s Word and live it in front of them on a daily basis. We are to be Spirit-filled ourselves and we are to pour God’s love and wisdom into our children. We do need to set consequences when they do something wrong or disobey. But as they get older and older there is a process of separating that begins at birth and ends when they leave the house as adults.

      At first, our children are literally one flesh with us and we are completely responsible for them. Then they are born and we nurse them. But then they are weaned and grow older and begin to make more and more decisions for themselves. The older they get, we transition toward teaching and empowering them to make wise choices for themselves.

      But even when our children are young – we are not responsible for their thoughts and sins. We are responsible to correct them, to love them, and to teach them. But we can’t make them think the way we want them to. We can’t make them become the people we want them to be.

      As they grow older, we will do more reasoning with them and less dictating. Does that make sense? Ultimately, they will be responsible for their own choices in life. Yes, we are accountable for how we raise and teach them. But then they will answer to God themselves for their own sin and faith or lack of faith.

      Great topic!!!

      Much love!

    2. Amanda,

      Also, please keep in mind, your son has his own sin nature. You don’t control what he does in school. Yes, you can influence him, mold him, and shape him. But even godly parents have children who sin and rebel and who do wrong things. Billy Graham is a great example. Now – Franklin Graham is an amazing man of God. But it was a long, painful road to get to where he is today.

      We are only responsible for our decisions, our thoughts, our instruction, our teaching, our examples, our prayers, our healthy love, our getting our children the help they need that is appropriate in God’s sight. Our children have their own minds, thoughts, decisions, and souls. They make their own choices.

      Sometimes, you have a child who never gets in trouble when they are young, they seem “perfect” outwardly – but they are depending on people pleasing or perfectionism, not God. All of us are wretched sinners. All of us need Jesus desperately. We need to be careful to be godly, wise stewards of our children. But we cannot take ownership of their personal decisions and choices. We take ownership of our responses and our teaching and things we control. But we don’t own their souls.

      I hope that helps! We can talk more about it if it is still fuzzy.

      Much love!

    3. April & Stephanie,
      Thank you both SO much for your wisdom and insights. I am definitely saving your replies and going to be studying about this topic more and learning. I need to get it down and put it into practice and stick to it!!! Everything you both said makes perfect sense and I am so blessed to have both of you speaking words of wisdom to me!! 🙂

      It is a HUGE help!!!!


  2. Wow. This was really convicting for me. I’ve been struggling with believing God loves me. My life has been…in mild terms absolutely awful. I’ve never thought a human being could be in so much pain emotionally and physically. I want to trust God, but I’m afraid He’ll just always take and take and take things away from me.

    I’m crying now. I just don’t think I’m ready- I don’t know how to be ready- to trust God. I feel like as soon as I hope, everything will just be taken away again. I know it’s a miserable way to live, and I don’t want to live this way… It’s just how I’ve coped. It really hit me when I was reading this. I don’t trust, God. I’m afraid of what He’ll do. I sit waiting for Him to throw my life into confusion again.

    I read part of a book called Is God to Blame before seeing this post, and it talked about how we should see God as the deliverer instead of the cause of our problems. I want to believe that God loves me and wants to help me. It just hurts so much. Aw man. I can’t cry now. I’m in a coffee shop.

    Anyway, I’m not sure why I’m telling you all this, but this was a good post for me to read. God has been faithfully reaching out to me, trying to draw me close, and I think this post was one of those times.

    1. Good luck with trusting our creator! I needed to see your post because I feel the same way. AWFUL (lol)! I don’t want to feel that way or let my husband and children see me this way but i feel like my whole life has been awful. We have to be grateful and look for the best in the spirit. Expect God to one day some how fill us with Joy!!! Praying and speaking life on us 😊

      1. Evangela Williams,

        I’m so glad you shared, too. I hope you might check out those two posts I shared with Kelsie and let me know what you think.

        Another great post, in my view, is A Spiritual Check-Up.

        If y’all really want to find God and want to overcome the lies and the fear you are experiencing, God CAN and WILL empower you to do this as you hash through your thoughts and seek Him above everything else. You can experience the healing, peace, and joy of Christ! 🙂 No one is beyond His reach and His love.

        I’m here if you want to talk some more.

        Much love! Thanks for reaching out to Kelsie. 🙂

    2. Kelsie,
      I just wanted to confirm what April said and let you know I have been where you are, not even too long ago! And as I took April’s advice and worked through the lies, a lot of freedom came as the Lord opened my blinded eyes to see that HIS WORD alone is TRUTH.

      I have also been learning that these lies about God are a main way that the enemy keeps us paralyzed and under his attack and control. When we believe lies about God, we are admitting a thought into our mind that came straight from hell. And when we agree with this, we give the enemy grounds to our soul.

      And it is ONLY by admitting the TRUTH into our minds that we can be delivered.

      The purpose for the enemy to gain ground through our minds is in order to take over our will. It is time to rise up and put on the armour of God and tear down these lies with the WORD OF TRUTH sister!


  3. You forgot one so commonly heard in the church. ….”God just wants you/me to be happy.” (Often used excuse to sin…)

    1. Cs,
      That is a very good one. I left out a lot, actually – because it was getting so long. But maybe I will need to add that one in there. It is such a common one!

      1. Cs,
        Here is a great post by John Piper – Does God Want Me to Be Happy or Holy?

        It is important that we define “happiness.” If we are talking about fleshly pleasure and temporary worldly happiness based on circumstances rather than joy in Christ – then happiness is not God’s primary goal for us. But I do love how Piper points out that we are commanded to rejoice in Him and to have joy in Christ. Of course, “joy in Christ” and earthly happiness are very different things. So helpful to define what we really mean in these important discussions.

        Much love!

  4. April,

    Thank you so much for this post. I have been struggling a lot with personal boundaries in terms of others because I have a natural tendency to want to try to “fix” everyone’s problems. Part of my walk with Christ has been learning to relinquish the control that I so tightly clung to in my life before I became a believer. I learned some troubling news about family out of state this week and my old habit of wanting to jump in and carry the burden of other’s sin came creeping back in. I have made note of each lie that “spoke to me” on this list so that I can journal about it tonight and discuss the topics with God. Thank you for providing information on such thought provoking topics.


    1. Tessa,

      This is the first step to healing in Christ – is to be able to identify what we are actually thinking and to compare our beliefs and thoughts to God’s Word. I’m so glad you are planning to really spend some serious time looking at your thoughts and examining your fixed beliefs under the light of God’s Word. That is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

      Let me know if there are any issues you get stuck on and need help with or need more resources for.

      Much love to you!

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