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Photo Credit -freeimages.com Bob Smith

God Changes a Wife’s Heart During a Financial Crisis

 

Photo Credit -freeimages.com Bob Smith
Photo Credit -freeimages.com Bob Smith

From a precious sister in Christ – the same one God is taking from major fear to strong faith:

I am writing to you again to share one more incident that took place yesterday and through which God spoke to me. I am excited when there is even a very small progress in the way I think or behave, so I am sharing it with you once more πŸ™‚

We believe God led us for me to quit my job when I had my first daughter so that I become a stay at home mom and raise her myself. Since then our finances have been very tight and in many instances we saw God provide in very unexpected ways, to find ourselves now, two years later, with a second baby and lacking nothing, though facing various challenges financially.

One of the ways God has provided for us was through state funding. This year, too, we were to apply for this aid that was to help us cover some expenses that have been gathering. It was my husband’s “job” to do this. Yesterday though when I asked him, he realized he had been busy and stressed with work and had forgotten to apply and we had missed the applications date. It is now too late.

I had been planning in my mind which bills we could finally pay off with this fund (this is “my job”). I was shocked and couldn’t believe that he missed something so important for us. He told me he was taking care of it but in the end he missed it, although it should have been a priority in his “to do” list.

So, my first reaction was: “You are kidding me, right? You didn’t apply???”

This could be considered a “usual” response from me, though I wish it not to be such.Β I felt so greatly disappointed, I felt that he failed to take care of our family in a way that was his responsibility…that I trusted him to take care of this and he failed me. This is my basic trust issue that is causing me to be controlling (as I have described you in the past). I just felt so greatly let down and didn’t know what to do about it.

However, within a few moments, the Holy Spirit started a discussion with me that changed the course of my thoughts.

I started thinking:

  1. My husband is responsible and always trying to take care of us, but he is also just human. That means that he WILL fail me at times, and I should not be so surprised. I am supposed to be gracious, because I also am human, and under the same circumstances, it is possible that I could have failed the same way.
  2. This is to show me where I really put my trust for our family’s provision. Am I focusing too much on the state aid and on us doing everything “right” to receive as much help as possible?Β Or am I really trusting God to provide for us, with or without the state aid, and despite us not doing everything right? This was the time for me to decide where I was going to put my trust.
  3. Here lies an opportunity that is far more precious than the money. It is the opportunity for me to react as God wants me to react. It is the opportunity for me to change – the opportunity to love my husband and trust God. I really felt in my heart that this is really precious, in a way that it may actually have been better that we lost this fund, if that means that I could be gaining spiritually through this. I really felt that I wanted to grasp this opportunity! This helped me pass the disappointment and hurt to feel joy and peace. It helped me let go of this fund in my heart and rejoice for what God is doing instead.
  4. I felt that this is the opportunity for me to stay committed to my husband and marriage. I married my husband for better or for worse, for when in health or sickness, for richer or poorer. I also married him for when he makes everything right or for when he doesn’t. I married him also for the times that he makes mistakes. There doesn’t need to be a divorce to break this promise. I can still break it in my heart, though still remaining married to him, by not staying connected in my heart to him, not being supportive and not sticking with him through this journey of life, even when he fails. In the end, he is far more important than money.

I think that the marriage vows should also contain a promise that goes something like, “for when my spouse does everything right or for when my spouse makes mistakes and fails”.

After this, I called my husband and told him that it just doesn’t matter that he forgot to apply, that I could have forgotten it too and that God can still provide for us in other ways. Of course, I wish my first reaction was different! I can’t take that back! But still, the whole turn out was absolutely amazing, totally a Holy Spirit work that reminds nothing of my usual attitude, which I hope I can soon refer to as “old and past.” It is exciting, it makes me feel thrilled and it brings tears to my eyes.

The way God changes me – for me, that is the greatest proof that He is alive and present!

32 thoughts on “God Changes a Wife’s Heart During a Financial Crisis

  1. Sometimes God teaches us to trust Him in the scariest of ways. Years ago my husband made some financial investments that went so wrong. We would have lost our house if we hadn’t got help from family. I had just been diagnosed with an illness and told I would deteriorate over next 5 years to the point of organ failure. I was happy in my part time job. My husband told me I needed to find a better one and work more days. I wanted to be home with my kids and work less as I thought I may not live much longer. I was so scared. However I felt God instruct me to start looking for a job as my husband had requested. I felt God leading me to step out like Abraham and that He would provide. He provided me a great job with way better pay so I didn’t have to work full time and my illness has not deteriorated as predicted. I’m still in this job and I love the work. God has shown He is faithful.

    1. Anonymous,

      WOW! Thank you SO much for sharing how God provided. What an incredible story about how He led you through your husband and your fears and about how He has sustained you. Makes me smile the biggest smile. Your story is a blessing.

      Much love!

  2. Beautiful post!! I LOVE how she yielded to what God had in mind in this situation! Yes!!

    When we train our minds to look at any difficult situation as coming directly from God to us, we are freed up to ask, “What is it You’re wanting me to learn fron this, Lord?” and trust it is sent for our good. It’s one of the secrets of learning to be content in any and every circumstance. (Philippians 4:11-12) Joy is the fruit of wanting His will more than anything!

  3. Beautiful post. I can think of many times that I failed a faith test towards God and a commitment test towards my husband when I’ve been technically right. Not that God is hovering over us to blast us wiith our faults but these experiences really do show us what’s in our own hearts. These are also the times when we really learn to be sensitive to the Spirit as our husband’s ‘helper’ – sometimes respectful influence is needed and other times open support. If he’s already failed, loading on the guilt and shame doesn’t help, it only makes us the enemy. We must be wise and willing to be both understudy and/or cheerleader as the circumstances require, not judge. Well done.

  4. Great testimony! My husband and I also face financial difficulties, but God provides for us, and I do hope that it will get better, but it’s a good opportunity to learn to trust God more and see His glory.

  5. “The way God changes me – for me, that is the greatest proof that He is alive and present!”

    SAME HERE!!!! Praise HIM <3 πŸ™‚ Bless all you lovely women.

  6. Dear April,

    I would like to have your view on this:
    My wonderful husband (now suffering a mental illness) and I are spiritually separated, at least we think we are.
    Because of his illness (hearing voices, not being able to do what he wants like pray or reading God’s word) hubby seems like having given up faith. He doesn’t even try to call on the name of Christ anymore…it makes me really sad.

    As he was diagnosed last year, his parents made pressure on him to go in psychiatric hospital. They also made pressure on me, accusing me of not loving him since I didn’t encourage him to get medical assistance. They aren’t believers and think man is sovereign. They are also too present in our life since we came back from UK to Germany. Hubby who stopped going to church has more fellowship with them and they are actually not helping him right: distract hubby with beer, vine, movies or going to a restaurant… instead of humbly encourage him to not give up faith in The living God….

    After all what happened last year between them and me, I decided to have no fellowship with them again b/c I feel really hurt and angry at them and won’t meet them again until I don’t have this feelings anymore.

    Now of course is my husband sad about that. I don’t how to handle this. I don’t want to see them and in my heart I don’t want to compromise and still I want my man to be happy. If only they could leave us alone…
    I pray for wisdom but I just have enough of his parents!

    Your little sister Estelle

    1. Estelle,

      I think it would be difficult to put a label on your marriage relationship like “spiritually separated” if your husband is mentally unwell and not in his right mind. Such a difficult, painful situation for everyone involved. πŸ™

      What does your husband say when you bring up your concerns?

      With all he has going on, I really doubt that he needs alcohol on top of any meds he is on. Yikes! The pharmacist in me cringes to think about what alcohol would do to him.

      If they aren’t believers, they have no way of pointing your husband to the truth. I pray for God’s wisdom for you. I known that Scripture does prescribe shunning for believers who are unrepentant – Matthew 18:15-17. But I am not sure that shunning unbelievers in this situation is going to be helpful. Are you willing to forgive them, even if you can’t trust them? Have you shared your concerns with them? How do you speak to them or treat them? How might God desire to use you to draw them to Christ?

      I am sure they love him and want to help.

      What happens when you humbly encourage your husband not to give up faith in the Living God?

      How is your walk with Christ going? Are you clinging to bitterness?

      Do you have any support spiritually?

      Much love and the biggest hug to you!

      1. Dear April,

        Thanks for your reply. I think you are right; I’m clinging to bitterness. It’s an instinctive mechanism; when someone bothers me I tend to avoid being around this person to protect myself and the fact I feel bitter about my in laws gives me a good reason to do that.

        Although my husband suffers schizophrenia, it’s still possible to share my feelings/concerns with him. For some reasons he stopped taking his medication. He said it doesn’t help and I believe him and support that, but on the other hand how can he be healed if he can’t even pray and doesn’t have faith? I asked him lately if he still believes in Jesus Christ and he answered like “I don’t know”…he is very confused! That is also a reason why I don’t think it’s helpful to have so much fellowship with unbelieving folks.

        I didn’t share my concerns with his parents directly but with hubby who told them how I feel: that I don’t want them to get into our business and always have their opinion on what we do. I mean it’s my right to live as I chose to; after all I married only my husband and not his entire family, right? But they are evrywhere ( his mother even still buy him underwear!!) I don’t feel respected by them as they treat my lovely husband like a child!

        I understand they love him and want to help but they must also accept that they can not! They forced him to go in a psychiatric hospital and hubby and I were separated for months only to see again that the world can not help. Only God can!

        I don’t know how to handle this. Now his aunt wants to visit us on sunday and I would like to meet her as well (she is also a believer, who had many difficult times. Her son was born mentally disabled). But the in laws want to be there as well and I need a break from them!
        So I said to hubby and of course he isn’t happy about that…in this time, when we have a conflict between us it’s always about his parents! I just want them to leave us alone.. at the moment it’s what I think would be best.

        your little sister Estelle

        1. Estelle,

          My dear sister!

          My heart breaks for all of you. As a mom, I can’t imagine the pain a mom would have of watching her son suffer from schizophrenia. I hope you will pray about this and seek to support his relationship with his parents as much as possible. Shunning them may be necessary eventually, but only if the situation is very severe, in my view. I do understand that you feel smothered by them. I definitely appreciate how frustarting that would be. But, they may have wisdom to share and love to share. They have dealt with his schizophrenia for a long time, right?

          Your husband says he doesn’t need his meds, but, it seems that maybe he was doing better when he was on them from what you are describing? Maybe you could gently, respectfully encourage him to get on them again if he was doing a lot better before?

          How is your time with God going? You are going to need to be as filled with His Spirit as possible every moment to deal with all that is going on. And you don’t have to agree with his parents, but God may have you there to minister his love and truth to them. And the bitterness definitely has to go, it will grieve God’s heart, and you won’t be able to be filled with His Spirit.

          There are no simple answers here. But I pray you will seek God with all of our heart and seek to demonstrate God’s love, grace, mercy, and acceptance to your husband and his family. I pray for God to provide the resources you need and pray for your inlaws salvation and for healing for your husband.

          Sending you the biggest hug, my precious sister!

          Do you have spiritual support?

          1. Dear April,

            I thank God again for his mercy and for your straight words. It’s a blessing ☺ although not so easy to read. But God loves and wants all to come to salvation. I definitely don’t want to grieve my God’s heart and will try to seek Him more and receive the power of His Spirit to set me free from all darkness.
            I will let you know how it is going…

            Thank you sister πŸ˜‚

            Your little sister Estelle

          2. Estelle,

            I know it is so easy to cling to bitterness. It is easy to feel totally justified in so doing. I lived that way for most of my life. But bitterness is so very toxic! Just a little tiny root of bitterness that we nurture, coddle, cherish, and feed grows into a raging monster that can consume our whole lives and prevent us from experiencing the power of God transforming our lives. If you know someone who has held on to bitterness for many decades – you know how destructive it is. You can feel the atmosphere change when that person enters the room. Her whole life revolves around her bitterness and everyone is tainted by her sour disposition, unforgiveness, hatred, and resentment. She can’t even talk without seething with resentment. Her heart is very hardened to God and to people. She is so prickly that no one can dare approach her to love her.

            That is not what I want for anyone, and it is certainly not what I want for you!

            You may search my home page for:

            – bitterness
            – forgiveness

            God has you in this place for such a time as this. May He shine brightly through your life for His glory!

        2. may i butt in to your discussion. i can easily relate to your situation Estelle. Before my husband died seven years ago, i was left alone for his care, with 3 young kids to take care also. my family was dependent on my measly income and i never get help from my in laws who live just near us. i once requested to let my sick husband (paralyzed) to stay with them while i work, providing them a caregiver. I jst wanted them to oversee the situation of my sick husband. i provided the medicines and of course the salary of the caregiver. They didnt heed to my request. My husband got into depression until no caregiver would like to take care of him anymore as he was violent. I turned to a batterwife, even he was already in that situation, he would hurt me, throwing at me anything he could reach things like bottles of medicines, etc.once i got home from work. I was like living in a hell with him for two years. i decided to bring my kids to the province so as not to let them see how i was hurt. i went to a church where i could tell all my predicaments, had counselling with them and they helped. they came to visit us once in a while,had babile study at home and finally, God restored my relationship with my husband thru these people.

          my point here is, i was the one asking help from my inlaws, but i felt , i was left alone taking care of my husband. i couldnt get help from them, even morally or emotionally and especially financially….it was really really very hard. it was one day, then i cried to the Lord, surrendering every hardship i was into. I asked for wisdom , strength and provisions…i kept on believing that only in Him i find strength Phil 4:13. God worked mysteriously… He used friends and loved ones to help me in my finances. And when he died, i realized that God had prepared me to be a strong woman before he took him. Romans 8:28 . God also took the bitterness i had with my inlaws a year or two after the death of my husband… then, my life went fine with my kids….so much blessed with the unfailing love of our loving Father..

          so keep strong estelle,,just cling unto HIm, keep on trusting and believing that God puts you to situation that you can bear for all things work together for good for those who love Him, no matter what.

          God bless you sis in Christ,

          Cellene

  7. Thank you for letting God use you through this blog. My husband and I have been on a faith walk/faith test now for about 9 months, left our jobs to pursue a business we felt the Lord wanted us to. It doesn’t make sense in a normal persons mind, but we believe it was really God directing us. Even though It’s been hard emotionally especially since I’m 7 months pregnant, He has provided every step of the way & we have witnessed some miracles along the way. I have learned some valuable lessons, most importantly to trust Him always and to Have peace, rest in his presence. I used to be very stressed out and got anxious about little things. Now I feel more at peace with what God is doing in my life & reminding myself that He is in control. I believe I am a more spiritually mature person. He’s not done with me yet.

    1. Zab,

      How beautiful! I love that you are resting in God’s peace and provision. Congratulations on your new business and baby-on-the-way! I praise God for what He is doing in you!!! πŸ™‚

      Thank you very much for sharing!

  8. What a lovely testimony! God is good indeed. I was just thinking I would really like to see these words on a tee shirt, “totally a Holy Spirit work,” because that’s precisely how I feel these days. πŸ˜‰

    1. Lori Alexander,

      This couple is from another country that has been experiencing a very severe financial crisis for several years. I don’t know how the government gives aid, how people qualify, how much they give, or what the job market is. I don’t believe I am in a position to judge whether this particular couple “should” receive state funding or whether this wife should work. Ideally, we would be able to support our own families. However, when there is a massive national economic crisis, that may make things a lot more difficult in ways I have never experienced.

      1. Oh, I didn’t mean to judge this couple; the question I asked you simply made my ponder the answer. I asked it in my chat room and there are some great answers and ideas being given since I do believe it is very important for mothers to be keepers at home.

    2. Lori,

      I know this question was not addressed to me, but I felt compelled to speak. We must remember that it is not any Christian’s job to pass judgment on another’s financial “right” to receive what they may need very badly, through no fault of their own. Many factors come into play, extended unemployment, ill health, and others among them. Our sister was not asking whether it was right or not to receive the payment, but was rejoicing that she had been able to have the mind of Christ in this situation. In this we should all rejoice, and refrain from making any comments here–such as questioning her right to receive the payment–that could cut her heart to the quick when she sees them. Certainly it is not our right to say whether or not it is acceptable to accept help they may desperately need! Thank you for listening, and know that I say this out of love for you and all our sisters.

  9. Here is some clarification about the financial aid from the wife who wrote this post:

    I saw that you shared my story in your blog, and I am, again, honored and thankful.
    I have been reading the comments and I just wanted to write you about the question that arose concerning the state funding. It did occur to me from the beginning that there might be a total cultural difference between our countries in this respect, but I now decided to clarify the matter, for the sake of this difference not stealing any of the blessing and glory of God’s intervention in this incident, through any ethical or moral concerns.

    I don’t know how things work in the US, I understand that it may not be considered right (or legal?) for someone to receive state help since they aren’t working or at least trying to work. In Greece things are very different. There are various state aids given through various state organizations that are addressed to everybody, no matter their employment status. These aids are given based on the total yearly income of each family, either every member of that family is working or not. The state is aware of my having quit my job 2.5 years ago as well as of every financial detail of our family. It is considered totally ethical and acceptable, and even recommended for everyone to receive these state funds, independently of their choice or status of employment. Also, the aid is adjusted to the number of the kids, so we can receive a bigger fund because we have two kinds, than someone who has less or none, or isn’t even married.

    There are of course, other things that I am not entitled to have since I am not working, and that will be the pension I am supposed to have after my sixties, unless I have completed a certain number of employment years, as well as social insurance (the state here withholds a certain amount from our salaries to provide us with social insurance), in which case I have to be covered by my husband’s insurance. (If both spouses are unemployed, their family doesn’t have insurance at all).

    It is true that our country has been suffering a severe financial crisis (please, pray if you may, for our country by the way, that the people will seek God in repentance and surrender, as well as for our nation’s future) and thus, the government seeks ways to help. There are people that are in a far more challenging situation than us. There are even state funds that we can’t apply for, because we are considered to have a higher income than others who could be literally unable to provide their families with food.

    Of course, it was our choice for me to quit my job, but I have never regretted it. God put in my heart that it was the best for our family, and I am thankful to Him every day that He has given me the permission to be a stay at home mom and raise my babies. (Not that the alternative choice would be so great considering that we would have to pay for a baby sitter and thus the bigger part of my salary would be given away to pay for her salary..) We were very conscious from the beginning about the fact that we were entering a challenging and scary path, that of not knowing how we were going to cover for our family’s needs. It was a tough decision that we wouldn’t have made unless we knew God was giving us the O.K. to do it, and that meaning that He would take care of us anyway.

    I am thrilled to say today that He has kept this promise and has provided for us all the time. In reality, our life quality hasn’t changed, only it has gotten better because we have been learning to trust Him. Sometimes, it is hard for our brains to grasp how it is possible for us to have been surviving, but it is for God’s glory to say that, not only did we “survive”, but we are lacking nothing and have all we need, even in abundance, though the “answer” for a permanent financial solution hasn’t yet been given to us by God, we just need to trust Him each month, again and again.

    Also, may I clarify what I mean by state aid, it is a fund that is a one-time aid, and not a monthly aid. That means we receive this amount only once per year, and it’s worth less than a minimum monthly salary. Had we applied, it would practically be enough to help cover a month’s expenses. The state is not in a position to support monthly everyone, even those who have been laid off only receive it for a limited time.

My grandmother is on hospice and won't be with us much longer (11-30-16). I will get to comments when I am able to but I need to be with family right now. Thanks for understanding.

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