This is a very interesting topic that throws light on the realities of marriage. Unfortunately, many of us christian women fantasize about a man who will daily hold our hands in prayer. It is a beautiful scene to behold and we women who are romantic at heart always yearn for such connection. But I believe if we are truthful to ourselves, most of us will realize we sometimes expect too much.
When I recently God married, I got a great advice from an elderly woman – which I would like to share. She cautioned me not to neglect prayer simply because my husband refused to pray with me. I have totally come to agree with her.
Before I got married, I had a wonderful personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I went to prayer vigils, prayed at home, and sometimes at the park alone. Those were moments I will cherish forever as I fellowshipped with “my first Love.” I believe it was through such prayers that God blessed me with a good husband.
Do I stop this communication with God simply because I have all of a sudden realized I cannot pray alone? Do our prayer partners sometimes not disappoint us when we plan to pray together? Do we sometimes not beat ourselves for going the whole day without a word of prayer? This goes to show that we are all works-in-progress. Our getting angry at our husbands for not praying with us is sometimes a defense mechanism when we realize we have failed to keep up with God.
In marriage, the woman is sometimes more prayerful than the man and may have to intercede for the family until he catches up. This can really be frustrating because we hear that the family that prays together stays together. However, I believe that the wife who intercedes for her family also keeps them together. (From Peacefulwife – YES! God is the key here, not the husband or the wife!) Why force your husband to pray with you if he doesn’t want to? God never forced anyone to pray to him even though He expects us to. We are called to be helpmates to our husbands and this may also be in the area of prayer.
I would rather my husband pray with me willingly than to pray just to satisfy me. After all, the prayer is not to us as wives but to God.
In my case, i am the long-hours-all-through-the-night prayer warrior who quickly dig her hands into food before remembering to pray. My husband, on the other hand, prays at every meal and speaks to God shortly and silently every night. I must confess I sometimes doze off without praying hoping to make up for it at a long prayer session. Thus, in his own way, he covers the loopholes I leave.
Praying together is the best and I advocate for it – but I will not frustrate both of us by always insisting. I will leave the Holy Spirit to work it out and remain content where we are now.