“My Husband Doesn’t Have a Calling from God, How Can I Follow Him?”




Greg leading our family on a mountain hike – June 2014

Maybe you are on board with God’s design for you to be your husband’s helper and to honor and respect your husband and his God-given leadership. But what do you do if your husband doesn’t seem to have any dreams for his life, big goals for the family, a spiritual vision, or a clear calling from God? How do you help support a man’s vision and purpose in life when he can’t seem to see it himself? How do you follow a man who is not willing to sit down and explain his long-term vision and plan or who doesn’t even have a long-term vision and plan?

  • Won’t you end up just doing nothing and going nowhere and wasting your whole life?
  • Wouldn’t that be the worst thing EVER?!?!?!

That was my fear 6 years ago. I thought God couldn’t lead me through Greg before God started me on this journey. Boy, was I wrong! The problem, it turns out, wasn’t that God couldn’t lead me through Greg, it was that I hadn’t been willing to follow God before and I had been too impatient to wait on God and Greg. I kept wanting to run way ahead and do things my way.

I am going to share the most amazing thing with you, my precious sisters:

God DOES have a calling, a purpose, and a vision for your husband even if your husband doesn’t know it or can’t see it right now. He has one for you, too – and His vision, purpose, and calling for both of you are intertwined.

It is ok if your husband doesn’t know where God is leading him. God knows how to lead your husband and God knows how to lead you. God has the plan all figured out. It’s fine if your husband can’t articulate a spiritual blueprint for the rest of his life. He doesn’t have to write out a five year spiritual goal sheet. He doesn’t have to be the most godly leader, husband, and father on the planet right now (in your estimation) in order to for God to use him to lead you and your family. Not a big deal. God knows how to use even pagan kings and entire nations to do His bidding, whether they know they are cooperating with Him or not. This is the awesome thing about having our sovereign, omnipotent, omniscient God as our Lord and Master.

God is the key here, not our husbands!

Sometimes, it is easy to feel like we need to be able to see the whole plan way ahead of time in order for us to get on board. But – God doesn’t usually work that way. Sure, sometimes He does. Sometimes He impresses His calling and a specific ministry or vocation on a person when that person is young and they focus on that mission for the rest of their lives. Other times, things are not neatly mapped out years in advance. Actually – most of the time – He leads in more of a day by day kind of way, giving enough light for just the next step. That can be hard to swallow for those of us who like to control and plan things! But maybe that is the whole point. 🙂 We must learn to walk by faith instead of by a firm plan that we think is set in stone months and years ahead of time.

God calls us to follow Him one day at a time. He asks us to be willing to submit to His will – whatever it is – before we know what His will might be.

Thursday, I’m going to share a bit of my story as it relates to this post.


NOTE: If your husband is involved in serious, unrepentant sin, is not in his right frame of mind (due to uncontrolled mental illness, drugs, or alcohol), or is actually abusing you and you are not safe – please seek godly, experienced, biblical counsel and appropriate medical, police, or legal help if necessary. It may not be wise to submit to a husband in such situations. If this is your scenario right now, please don’t read my blog but seek appropriate help. (i.e.: the Salvation Army, Celebrate Recovery, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-Anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, a trusted pastor, a trusted godly wife mentor, a trusted Christian counselor, etc…)


My Husband Is Not Being a Good Enough Spiritual Leader

Why Should I Have to Submit to My Husband in the Little Things?

Biblical Submission Doesn’t = the Husband Is “Always Right”

Biblical Submission – A Huge Key to Peace

Our Submission Is Primarily to Christ

I’ve REALLY Messed Up – How Do I Make Things Right with God?

Ways Husbands Lead that Wives Don’t Always Notice