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Learning to Respect and Give up Control is a Process



Learning to Respect and Give up Control is a Process.


I am taking a bit of a blogging vacation while our children are on spring break this week. This post, by Nina Roesner (author of The Respect Dare) is one of the best I have come across about what to expect on this journey and the stages that wives usually go through. I hope you will check it out!

Y’all are welcome to comment and discuss!



Genesis 3 – the curse on woman, her desire will be to control her husband

God’s commands for wives – Ephesians 5:22-33, I Peter 3:1-6, Titus 2:3-5

God’s commands for us to submit to Him fully – James 4, Romans 8, Romans 10:3


8 thoughts on “Learning to Respect and Give up Control is a Process

  1. I’m somewhere between phase 8 and 9 at the moment. Getting closer to 9 and moving along.
    I still have that little nag in the back of my head saying “you’re doing all the work and he’s still treating you like that” need to keep renewing my mind 🙂

  2. excellent post. its good to know that what i am experiencing on this journey is normal and part of the growing process 🙂

  3. Thank you so much for posting this! I am new to this. I’m going into my 2 month of this new way of life. I have been very discouraged & thought ny discouragement meant that something was wrong with me. I thought if this is what God’s design for a wife is it should be easy for me to do. Sometimes it hasn’t been difficult but at other times it has been very difficult. Finding your website last week has been a great encouragement to me as well as knowing I’m not the only wife who struggles with dying ro myself. Thank you so much.

    1. Firewife416,
      I’m about two months in also and am also discouraged. I’ve been reading this site the entire time though, and it sure does help with staying focused. It is definitely not easy. We’re learning a whole new way of living and its a process of constantly dying to self. Very hard!

  4. This is a great post and something I needed today. I feel like I’ve really backtracked the last two days…this after I’d say we had one of our best days in the past two months (since I started this journey). I feel so discouraged for allowing my fear to take over again. But I’m going to keep moving forward.

  5. “Keep moving forward” is the only way to go. Thank you, Jeanne.

    Now that we know so much about how our aches are really for the Lord and that we can so easily sabatoge our lives…where else can we go? What else can we do? It reminds me of the time so many of the disciples left Jesus after He said His followers would have to eat his flesh and drink his blood. They couldn’t handle it. He turned to Peter and asked if he was leaving too and Peter responded, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” The ones remaining were the twelve. (See John 6: 53 – 68)

    Lord help me be among those who remain!!!!

    The greatest help to my many moments of discouragement has been reading the books on April’s list and working through the “Respect Dare” myself. While giving my husband a lot of space, this has distracted me long enough to see the bigger picture and how much I didn’t know about how to take care of men in general, and my man in particular, or build a godly home. There’s so much ground for me to make up for and this is with the help of this blog and all this online support and the books and meeting with other women of like mindset. My kids have been in school and my work hours drastically reduced this year. Most of my days have been studying to figure out how to save my family. I remember telling someone “nothing has changed” about 6 years ago after a year of counseling. And now? I AM CHANGING.

    Keep going, Vinn. I’m so sorry for your pain. Not all of your husband’s behavior is your fault, however. He is also seeing you through the eyes of his own pain and acting unloving. It’s what we sinful creatures do. With all the baggage that comes out of dysfunctional /difficult families, he would’ve needed much more support from you before you even detected that there might be a problem. And none of us comes with a manual! Sometimes I think of marriage as a heart hospital where I am both a patient and a nurse. And according to Nina’s timeline, I’ll be cycling through this rehab for at least a few more years.

    1. Vin, my dear sister,

      I will be praying for you. Things seem very difficult for you right now. I hope your health is not faltering too… 🙁

      God is in control.

      We will finish this race.



  6. Pingback: What Causes a Woman to Become Controlling? – VIDEO | Peacefulwife's Blog

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