I never get tired of hearing about and sharing what God is doing in people’s lives. That is the greatest joy I get to experience doing this work for God. I am so very blessed to have a front row seat to watch Him changing people and bringing glory to Himself in women’s hearts and in their marriages and families. Sometimes I just want to burst I am so overflowing with joy every day. A big thank you to these wives for allowing me to share!
*** Administrative note – I am going to have very little computer time for the next week. I will handle comments and emails as I am able to. 🙂 Thanks for understanding!
WIFE 1 – DEALING WITH A CRITICAL HUSBAND
My dear Sister, Good Morning,
It has been two weeks now and I am doing very good. All these years I’ve been trying to change my husband and I never submitted myself to God. Now things have changed drastically and my husband verbally says that he is seeing so much change in me. Although he brings up his cutting remarks here and there – that doesn’t affect me at all now.
When his words are hurting I ask God to show me where I should change here, maybe he is right. If God also feels the same way – (I don’t try to justify) myself. I just keep quiet.
This happened today morning, my husband was telling me about how I should handle better when our little ones fight for toys. I was quiet even though I had different opinion and can feel the Holy Spirit talking inside me to be quiet and listen since my husband had been right before. My husband said he feels like talking to a wall since I am not acknowledging his words, then I realized that I’ve been talking inside me all this time and told him
“Ok, I understand. I’m thinking about your words”.
He was very happy when I said that. He went to take a shower to get ready for work and came back and told me that while he was taking a shower God spoke to him that I am special and he should be considerate of me. I was so moved and felt the love of God flooding me and thanked God for speaking for me.
Now I know that my husband can hear God’s voice only when we are silent. Or only our voice will be ringing in his head. How true!!
I thank you for making me understand this truth. I can really enjoy the peace of God nowadays.
Your series of FAQ’s are very good and helpful.
Your ministry is a blessing to me.
There are times when we need to share our feelings, times we need to share when we are hurt, and some times that responding with silence is best when our husbands are critical. I’d love for us to listen without defending ourselves when our husbands offer criticism, to see if God might have something to tell us through them. The most important thing is for us to be sensitive to God’s Spirit’s promptings about what to say and what not to say!
WIFE 2 – HOW A WIFE’S SUBMISSION BRINGS OUT THE BEST IN BOTH SPOUSES
I cannot tell you how much I’ve enjoyed reading this blog.
Even though I considered myself a woman of wisdom (age 57) who tried hard to apply Christian principles in my life, your articles have shown me I still have many improvements to make, and this has been truly humbling. I never really understood how subjection to my husband would ultimately bring out the best in us both, but I’ve already seen that it works.
We are undergoing more than the usual stress now because we moved and are renovating a building on a very limited budget. A few days ago we discussed whether or not to keep the older carpet in the bedroom; I didn’t want to keep and my husband did. We both presented valid reasons for our opinions. My husband listened to mine, and I listened to his, and afterwards, I said I would trust him to make the decision that was in our best interests, with all the information we had discussed.
He looked at me in surprise and said, “Yes, but I don’t just want you to give in to me but then be miserable every time you look at it, and then it would be all my fault.”
I told him I would truly accept his decision, and that meant I would focus on all the positives of keeping the carpet instead of the negative ones.
This was a turning point, April.
I learned–TRULY–that submission to my husband doesn’t mean I have no voice or influence; it just means that I TRUST my husband to do what’s best for us both, and can CHOOSE to see either the positive or negative side of whatever decision he makes.
When I saw the look on his face at this point, I wanted to cry, because it was suddenly tender. He said he thought we should ask the carpet cleaner–who he had arranged to come and give us an estimate for the cleaning–his opinion, and I agreed. The next morning, he thanked me for entrusting him with the decision, but said that his decision was to ask me if I would talk with the carpet cleaner and make the decision based on his professional advice.
- If I had kept arguing to do what I firmly believed was best, both of us would have been unhappy.
- But trusting my husband resulted in both of us feeling respected.
As it is, the carpet is going because that’s what the cleaner recommended. But even if it weren’t, I would be at peace.
Thank you again, April, for bringing such wonderful, godly counsel and reminders into our daily lives.
May God richly bless you!