Your series of FAQ’s
are very good and helpful.
Your ministry is a blessing to me.
There are times when we need to share our feelings, times we need to share when we are hurt, and some times that responding with silence is best when our husbands are critical. I’d love for us to listen without defending ourselves when our husbands offer criticism, to see if God might have something to tell us through them. The most important thing is for us to be sensitive to God’s Spirit’s promptings about what to say and what not to say!
WIFE 2 – HOW A WIFE’S SUBMISSION BRINGS OUT THE BEST IN BOTH SPOUSES
I cannot tell you how much I’ve enjoyed reading this blog.
Even though I considered myself a woman of wisdom (age 57) who tried hard to apply Christian principles in my life, your articles have shown me I still have many improvements to make, and this has been truly humbling. I never really understood how subjection to my husband would ultimately bring out the best in us both, but I’ve already seen that it works.
We are undergoing more than the usual stress now because we moved and are renovating a building on a very limited budget. A few days ago we discussed whether or not to keep the older carpet in the bedroom; I didn’t want to keep and my husband did. We both presented valid reasons for our opinions. My husband listened to mine, and I listened to his, and afterwards, I said I would trust him to make the decision that was in our best interests, with all the information we had discussed.
He looked at me in surprise and said, “Yes, but I don’t just want you to give in to me but then be miserable every time you look at it, and then it would be all my fault.”
I told him I would truly accept his decision, and that meant I would focus on all the positives of keeping the carpet instead of the negative ones.
This was a turning point, April.
I learned–TRULY–that submission to my husband doesn’t mean I have no voice or influence; it just means that I TRUST my husband to do what’s best for us both, and can CHOOSE to see either the positive or negative side of whatever decision he makes.
When I saw the look on his face at this point, I wanted to cry, because it was suddenly tender. He said he thought we should ask the carpet cleaner–who he had arranged to come and give us an estimate for the cleaning–his opinion, and I agreed. The next morning, he thanked me for entrusting him with the decision, but said that his decision was to ask me if I would talk with the carpet cleaner and make the decision based on his professional advice.
- If I had kept arguing to do what I firmly believed was best, both of us would have been unhappy.
- But trusting my husband resulted in both of us feeling respected.
As it is, the carpet is going because that’s what the cleaner recommended. But even if it weren’t, I would be at peace.
Thank you again, April, for bringing such wonderful, godly counsel and reminders into our daily lives.
May God richly bless you!