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15 thoughts on “Getting Back on Track

  1. Your blog has been a tool The Lord has used in the transforming work work He has been doing in my life. I began asking God to clean out the sin and brokenness, bondage, etc in my heart some time back. Wow, is He faithful to do that! It is a wild ride.

    Treating my husband with respect and letting him lead has been a wonderful thing in our marriage. it has only been a few weeks and I can see him soaring a bit already. So encouraging.

    Last night I made one of my (used to be typical) comments and saw his countenance drop and expression change. I apologized. He was really happy when I did. I celebrate that I could tell immediately now what I had done. I used to feel sad and a little sick at heart, would try to joke or tease or kiss up,..yuk.

    By the way, I am 58, been married 36 yrs. We can always keep learning, improving and participating in the transforming work of our Jesus. I read The Surendered Wife many years ago and it helped me a lot. Just read Have a New Husband by Friday, which has some good insights, I thought, into how men think. Thank you so very much for being here,.. Just what I need!

    1. Gayle,
      It is wonderful to meet you!

      Yes – this journey IS a wild ride! 🙂 I am so excited about what God is doing in your heart!

      I am REALLY glad that you were able to see the way your disrespect hurt your husband. It’s amazing to me that I couldn’t see that hurt all those years when I was so blind to my disrespect, pride and control. THANK YOU for apologizing right away!

      I am thrilled to hear that you are growing and learning. Our God is so very good. 🙂

    1. JenniferP,
      I am so sorry that last night was very painful!

      If you want to talk about it – please let me know. 🙂

      I’m SO glad God gives us new chances. We all need that!

  2. After a very rocky marriage, especially the past four (which included job loss, emotional affair on his end and leaving me pregnant for 3 months, miscarriage, loss of house, moving three times in one year, pregnant again now 40+ weeks and living at my parents’ with my three kids and one on the way, with no vehicle) I have told my husband he should leave. My reason–I could not speak up about finances whatsoever without him shutting down and I have not even been able to drive me or my kids out for OVER A YEAR because he has our van. I’ve lost it. I was tired of being angry and tired of enabling him to act this way. How much does a woman “submit” before her soul is lost and broken? How much do I endure and not complain? I’ve done all I could to help and would be working again if I had a way of getting there. So, I now have four children (one yet to be born, 3, 6, 8..) I homeschool in a 400 sq foot garage apartment and I am completely alone with no car, home or money and an immature husband who will not even reply to a text. I have repented for any wrong that I have done while he keeps an arrogant attitude of unforgiveness and admitting no fault. This has all taken a toll on my pregnant body and I feel like I never want to be with a man again.

    1. Broken,

      Goodness! What a difficult situation! I am SO sorry to hear about how hard things have been and I am so SO SO sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I wish I could hug your neck!

      Well… I am not sure that a 40+ week pregnant woman needs to be making huge decisions like kicking her husband out right now – I know that my ability to think rationally when I was 40, 41 and 42 weeks pregnant was almost nil – but maybe you are able to handle things better than I could?

      I believe it is possible he was shutting down because he feels like a failure as a man and a husband and a dad. A man tends to shut down when he feels very wounded and criticized. That actually means he probably cares a lot – but doesn’t feel like he can please you or make you happy or fix things.

      Is he dealing with any mental health disorders (depression, ADD, Bi-polar, etc…), any addictions? Does he have a job?

      I would love to see y’all working as a team during this tough time.

      How was the rest of your relationship? What has he said he wanted? Where is he staying now? How long has he been gone? Are you planning to have him at the birth?

      Much love to you!

  3. I have been reading your blog and going through the archives fir the past several weeks. I thank God for your obedience to His will and the work he is doing in many marriages. I haven’t commented because I really have wanted to cherish what God was doing. My husband has been home 7 months after we were separated for a year. While he was gone there was infidelity on his part and he was filing for divorce, but our God is FAITHFUL!!!!!! He worked a miracle in both our hearts and brought my husband home an answer to fervent prayer. While my hubby was gone God revealed to me so . Much pride manipulation anger and self righteousness that was in my heart and began to transform me. I too read love and respect and God used it to get my eyes off my husband and look at how I played a huge part in the destruction of my marriage. I was taken captive by satan and had done his will but glory be to God Jesus set me free. In the season of our seperation God taught me what it really meant to love unconditionally. As I allowed Him to love my husband through me God showed me the way He loves’ve me when I constantly reject him and choose other lovers. HE let me share in His suffering and learn His heart more. Love that is nit based on anything I do or don’t do but is based on who He is. Because my husband’s sins were so obvious. Satan easily distracted me into being deceived and justifying the nastiness in my heart because of hurt. In my learning process God than began to use my unconditional love and forgiveness as a tool in his hand to melt my husband’s cold heart and draw my husband back home and back to Christ. He also exposed my fear of being abandoned and exposed that although I treated my husband disrespectful I still had made him an idol that I was depending on for security and live that could only be found in Jesus. I was so stubborn and hard he added he loved me enough to allow my husband to leave to teach me this truth. But about three weeks ago my husband and I got into an argument that exposed the ugliness that was still lying dormant, hidden in my heart. From the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks and the words that I spoke that night were so disrespectful I was completely broken. I thought it was gone but I praise God for shining the light and using your blog to really turn on the floodlights.I was blinded again!! It has become my daily prayer to be sensitive to His spirit and be aware of my sinfulness in light of his holiness. He has reminded me that I am a work in progress and I can never get too confident and begin trusting in myself again. I just wanted let you know that the Lord has used your blog as a huge encouragement in my daily walk with Him on this respect journey. Posted with my hubby permission, your sister in Christ Jessica

    1. Jessica,

      WOW! Thank you so much for sharing what God has done in your life and marriage. His work in you is SO beautiful!

      I am also glad you see that you have to daily die to self and seek God and that we are always able to relapse and let that old self down off the cross and sin again. Have to be ready with those nails to nail the sinful nature back on the cross!!!

      I am thrilled to hear from you and honored to meet you. Thank you for your story. I can’t wait to see all that God has in store!

      Much love!

    2. Jessica,
      Since your comment isn’t recent, I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I was so encouraged by your post. I love how you pointed out that God showed you about unconditional love. How God loves us even when we constantly reject him and choose other lovers. This is something I had thought on a few weeks ago and needed this fresh reminder when its so hard to love my husband during this difficult time.

  4. Praise God for those women who are dying to control even through the disappointments and mistakes and who don’t give up – God is able to make all things new. [Perhaps an important distinction is that Genesis 3:16 says: “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” The man shall rule over the woman].
    May God continue to strengthen and encourage all those who are on this journey. x

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