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The Respect Dare, Day 4 – A Godly Purpose Statement


Nina Roesner has an amazing idea in Day 4’s dare!

Her assignment is for us to write a “positive, present-tensed purpose statement of who you think God has planned for you to be” in your marriage.


She suggests using the results of the test from yesterday – you can use the results from her questions or you can use Part 2 of the godly wife test on my blog yesterday as inspiration or  portions of scripture may help you decide what to write: 1 Cor 13:4-8, Phil 4:4-8,13, Galatians 5:22-23.

What I would like for you to do is write down what you believe God wants you to be as a woman and as a wife and how He desires you to act in your marriage 4 months from now.

I like Nina’s suggestions to use present tense, ie “I am” not “I want to be” or “I should be.”  And I like her suggestions to write positive statements, not negative statements like “I don’t” or “I won’t.”

She gives a fabulous example!  If you have the book, definitely read it!


I am a Spirit-filled woman of God whose faith in Christ is unwavering.  I have God’s Spirit of power, love and sound mind.  I am bursting with His spiritual fruit every day.  My husband and children often get drenched in the things that come streaming out of my soul like God’s:

  • love – I love without expectation and without strings.  I love others because God’s love fills my heart.
  • joy – I have joy every single day because my identity is solely in Christ and He is working all things for my ultimate good and His glory in my life.  I have been forgiven MUCH, so I love MUCH.  I put Jesus WAY above everything and everyone else in my life.  He IS my life.
  • peace – I rest in God’s supernatural and indescribably addictive peace every day because I trust His sovereignty and I hope only in Him, not in people or in changing circumstances.  I love God’s design for marriage and finding shelter in my husband’s covering, protection, provision and God-given leadership.  I am so free, light and unburdened now!  This is truly abundant life!
  • patience – I have patience and grace to give to my husband and children because I know that God has been infinitely patient and full of grace towards me.
  • kindness – I have a storehouse of kindness to share with my husband and children because of God’s great kindness towards me.
  • goodness – I do my husband good every moment of every day.  I know that we are on the same team and I am thankful for the chance to be his wife.  I love speaking with respect to my husband and meeting the deepest masculine needs of his heart.  I use my words to build him up, to admire him, to bless him and to affirm him.
  • gentleness – I have the power to respond with gentleness even when others are irritable or upset because I see what they can be in Christ.
  • faithfulness – I am faithful to Christ and to my marriage covenant because God empowers me to love Him with all my heart, mind, soul and strength and He gives me new eyes to see my husband with His love and compassion.
  • self-control –  I respond to my husband and children with a friendly tone of voice, with a smile, with a pleasant expression on my face and I am thrilled to have the opportunity to love and respect my husband and to share this life together.  It is a gift.

I feast on God’s Word daily.  I humble myself before God in prayer and I am a woman of fervent, effectual prayer.

I have a peaceful and gentle spirit that does what is right and has great confidence and faith in Christ.  I am beautiful and precious in God’s sight because He has renewed my heart and mind.   I look forward to this adventure He has planned for my life.  I trust Him and I joyfully submit myself fully to Him, holding nothing back.  I gladly give Him all that I am and all that I have and all that I will be and I joyfully receive all that He is, all that He has and all that He has done and will do for me.


How about you?

I’d love for you to write a purpose statement.  Nina Roesner suggests about 100-200 words.

You are welcome to share yours here if you would like to!

You are also welcome to talk about how the other dares are going and anything that is on your mind!  We are on this road together.  I’m so glad we can share and encourage one another!


20 thoughts on “The Respect Dare, Day 4 – A Godly Purpose Statement

  1. I wrote the statement 1 month 1/2 ago when I started the Respect Dare. I will just maybe complete it saying that I filled with all the fruit of the Spirit 🙂 I taped it and stick it on the wall on the side I sleep and usually, each time I do the bed, I stop 30 seconds to read it aloud as a prayer. I think it is making a difference even if maybe I can’t quantify it because our words have so much power. And it is a prophetic declaration of what God will do in my life. I think that is an awesome idea. Since I started this journey 6 months 1/2 ago, I start to see some changes in my attitude. I have to constantly remind me of it cause it is so easy to go back on the same wrongs patters but it is definitively encouraging and worth doing it. 🙂

  2. I am on Day 20 of the Respect Dare, and am really enjoying it. Here is my purpose statement:

    Because of God’s grace and mercy, I am a virtuous wife. I have a daily intimate walk with Jesus and spend regular time in prayer and in the Word. I am joyful and content in whatever comes my way, and every day I give thanks for my many blessings. I am healthy and take care of my body each day by exercising and eating right. I am a capable manager of my home. My family and everyone who enters our home are comfortable and happy because of my organization as well as my cheerful attitude. I am known as a friend to many and am a good listener and one who speaks God’s wisdom into people’s lives. My husband is confident in me as his help meet and feels respected and loved. When we have conflict, I remain calm and am able to respond to my husband respectfully. I share my wishes with him, and am then perfectly content both inwardly and outwardly with what he decides. I am a patient and loving mother, and I am confident and consistent in my instruction and training of each of my children. I am not afraid of the future; I know that God has a wonderful plan for my life. When trials come, my faith does not waver, and I easily give thanks for all things, because I know that He does all things well.

  3. So this is my Purpose Statement:

    I am a woman who seeks to honour and uplift my husband, son and others. I choose to let go of anger and I lay down grudges because they hurt God and those I love.
    I seek God’s word when I find things hard. God’s love does not lie nor does he fail us.
    I trust this in hardship and I rejoice in The Lord always because I know he is near. This is how I demonstrate gentleness and patience.
    I seek the fruit of the spirit; compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

    I like the idea of printing it and putting it somewhere I will see it regularly so I’m gonna put it on my locker at work.


  4. I have just started a blog and your blo is one that I will come bac to visit again. Thank you for creating such a lovely place to viit and fellowship.

  5. Part of my vision statement is I want my husband to be able to say “She loves me like Jesus does.” like in the country song. The first time I heard this song, I was crying so hard I couldn’t drive.

  6. My Purpose statement:
    I am patient and display a calmness in my demeanor. I am quick to listen and slow to answer . I am not easily angered nor frustrated with myself or others I give room for the faults of others.
    I am kind to God, my future husband, and anyone I encounter. I am a pleasure to be around because the love of Jesus is flowing from my heart. I have a quiet and gentle spirit that does what is right and does not give way to fear.
    There is no unrighteous jealousy in me. I am secure in myself and the way God has made me. I am happy with my portion.
    I speak freely about the love of Christ and I am so willing to share it always. I an filled with his love and it over flows into and onto those I encounter.
    I am selfless giving freely to those in need. Putting the Godly needs of others before my earthy desires. I put God first and then my husband and then family.
    I am not easily angered I think before I act. I way the cost of all my actions.
    I sympathize with the hurting . I am a praying woman I pray always.
    I trust God with my life I am his and my answer is always yes Lord no matter what.
    I have much joy because my joy is from the Lord only he is my Joy supplier. I am peaceful, relaxing in Gods love; Knowing that he works all things out for my God, according to his Goodness and his definition of Good..
    I am faithful to God and my future Husband guarding both relationships always.

  7. My relationship with Jesus takes precedence over everything. I have quality time in prayer and in His word daily. My contentment, strength, identity, power, purpose, peace and joy is 100% wrapped up in Jesus, therefore, I do not put that burden on my husband to fulfill me and make me happy. When I am treated wrongly, I respond with a gentle and kind spirit and not a quarrelsome spirit. I do not demand my own way. I show appreciation and gratitude to God daily for my marriage. I speak positive and highly of my husband. I affirm and encourage him and do not try to always correct him or make him feel he is not good enough. I love him with no strings attached and do not have unrealistic expectations of him. I trust God to help him become the spiritual leader. I trust God to make our marriage all that it is supposed to be. I do not need the praise and approval of people. My heart is totally devoted to Christ and I want to please and obey Him no matter what the cost.

      1. Thank you so much for starting this website. I have been praying for my marriage a lot lately and I found this site last week. It has literally changed my view of marriage and my role. I felt unloved, that i was not getting enough attention, neglected and low and behold, my actions of being needy, not giving my husband space and complaining all drove him further away instead of closer. I realize that God needs to meet my needs as far as my contentment, joy, value and identity….and I need to let go of unrealistic expectations which left me feeling unwanted and lonely. Thank you for letting God use you to answer my prayers!

        1. Julie,

          This is AWESOME! It is the information I desperately needed for over 14 years in our marriage. How I praise God that He is working in your heart already. I am so excited to see your walk with Him grow and see how He changes you to be more and more like Christ for His glory. 🙂

          What an honor that God allows me to be a little part of what He is doing in your life!

          Much love!

  8. Do you have any topics on how to help adult children without supporting them financially. We’ve decided not to prevent the natural consequences of their actions and let them learn to be responsible adults. But they never call or visit unless they’re asking us for something and they don’t listen to our advice or when we try to talk with them about Godly things.

  9. I’m a God fearing woman. I’m grateful for my marriage and my family. I realise that being a wife and a mother is a gift from God. I truly appreciate being entrusted with these responsibilities. I ask God to lead me daily, I understand that I cannot do this on my own. I need his grace, love and mercy daily. I’m grateful that we don’t have to buy grace, it is there for all of us. I’m strong in faith. I completely believe that God is love, and that all good and perfect gifts come from heaven. I am healthy. I am of sound mind. I do not hold grudges. I forgive myself and others. I do not anger easily. Im calm and soft spoken. My children are happy. I easily make friends. I bless those around me. I am a child of God. My husband calls himself blessed, because he has me for a wife.

Comments will be closed for Lent from 2-14-18 through 3-28-18.

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