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The Respect Dare, Day 2 – Childhood Scars

Our daughter,Haley, at the beach when she was 3.
Our daughter at the beach when she was 3.

We are continuing on with Day 2 of The Respect Dare by Nina Roesner.  You are welcome to purchase the book and join us.  But if that is not possible, not to worry!!!  You may follow my blog and join us this way, also.  I believe you will still be greatly blessed. 🙂

CHILDHOOD

We all have wounds and scars from our childhood.  None of us had perfect parents – even those whose parents were strong Christians.  All of us, as children, were able to misinterpret situations or words from our parents and end up with a skewed view of God, God’s Word, ourselves or others.  And for those who suffered physical, emotional, mental or sexual abuse as children – the scars and wounds are incalculable.

We are all greatly impacted by the examples we had in our parents.  What they did, how they responded to each other and to us, how they spoke to each other and to us, their temperments, their priorities, their faith, their beliefs, their personalities were powerful forces in molding us to become the adults we are today.  In fact, you could say that in many ways, they “programmed us.”  So now, whatever they did, how they thought, how they behaved – is what seems “normal” to us.  And it will come very naturally and feel comfortable to us.

The problem is – not all of it was healthy.  Not all of it was accurate or true.  Our parents didn’t completely represent God and marriage perfectly to us.  If we don’t examine ourselves and our experiences as children, we will not understand where things got off track and what needs to be corrected now that we are adults who can decide what we believe, how we want to live and how to understand God and His Word for ourselves.   We can ask God to “reprogram” us.  That is when the Holy Spirit regenerates our hearts and gives us new minds, new hearts, new desires and a “new man.”  We die to our old self, and take off the “old man” and put on the “new man in Christ.”

Jesus can heal our wounds, scars, pain and fears that we acquired during our childhood!  He is COMPLETELY ABLE!

MY STORY

I have Christian parents who deeply love each other – and still do!  And my parents deeply loved all 3 of their children.  I always knew I was loved.  I was never abused or mistreated.  My parents took my twin sister and younger brother and me to church twice every Sunday and on Wednesdays.  My parents were teachers in the church and my father was almost always involved in being a deacon.

I was and am EXTREMELY blessed to have the parents I had.

And yet, even in the midst of all that was very right, I misinterpreted a few events in my childhood that led me to have a warped understanding of my identity and God’s identity.

When I was 5 years old –  One Sunday morning, my twin sister and I were getting ready for church.  She asked me to buckle her sandals.  I told her, “Buckle your own sandals!  You’re 5 years old!”  And she kept saying “my tights are too tight, I can’t lean over!  Please buckle my sandals for me!!!” and asking me to buckle her sandals for her.

I eventually got frustrated with her and pushed her away.  We were at the top of the stairs.  She fell backwards down the stairs.  I can see the look of shock on her little 5 year old face still to this day.  I ran to my closet and hid.

My Daddy gave me the hardest spanking ever.  I didn’t often get spankings.  But I got one that day.  And I deserved it.  He said, “You should have checked on your sister and gone to get us to help.  She could have died or broken her neck!”

My Daddy was exactly right.  She definitely could have been severely injured or killed by what I did to her.

Unfortunately, and unbeknownst to my parents, the message I took from that day was this:

“I can never say no to someone when they ask me to do something for them that they could do for themselves.  If I say no, they might get really hurt or die.”

And so began my people pleasing efforts.  I also began to think I was VERY powerful – powerful enough to kill someone.  I also interpreted that I was VERY RESPONSIBLE FOR other people.  Me.  Not God.  Not my parents.  Me.

I don’t think there was any way my parents could have known that this was the message I absorbed from that experience.

When I was 8 years old –  My twin sister and a foreign exchange student, Patricia, and I were on top of the monkey bars.  Our classmates, John and Ryan, were climbing up each side like they were going to try to “get us.”  I said, “We need to jump!!!”  We all jumped.

I was fine.

My sister sprained her ankle.

Patricia broke her leg.

For months, I wanted my leg to be broken.

I felt SO responsible for my sister’s injury and Patricia’s injuries.

I thought:

“It is my fault that they got hurt.  I said to jump – and they did.  I am responsible for other people.  I have so much power over other people and I was wrong to say to jump.”

Many nights I would cry and cry because people were starving in the world and I was not fixing it.  I truly believed I was in charge of MUCH, MUCH more than I really was.  I thought I was “sovereign” not God.  My little girl’s mind created a small, weak, tiny, impotent picture of God, and a HUGE, POWERFUL picture of myself.

I did not understand where my responsibilities ended and God’s began.

I thought I was responsible FOR other people.  I thought I needed to be a parent to my siblings.  I thought I needed to fix the problems of the world.

That was a LOT of weight for a child to carry.  How I wish I had understood God’s sovereignty!

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Take a few moments and write down or type out your answers to some of these questions.  You may do this privately, or you may share with everyone if you would like to:

– What were the biggest events in your childhood that greatly impacted your view of yourself, of marriage or of God?

– How did your parents interact with each other?

– Was there unconditional love for everyone in the home?

– Was there unconditional respect for everyone in the home?

– Were there healthy boundaries in your home or were people controlling?

– What are the deepest scars and wounds of your childhood?

– In what ways were you “programmed” by your experiences to incorrectly view God, yourself and/or marriage?

Lord,

I pray that You might open our eyes to see the events and thoughts that have warped or skewed our understanding of You, ourselves and marriage.  Expose any lies that we have believed.  Let us embrace Your truth alone.  Heal our hearts.  Help us to learn the truth about You, about ourselves and about Your beautiful design for marriage.

In the Name and power of Christ,

Amen!

RELATED POSTS:

Boundaries and Control

Playing the Martyr

Controlling with Guilt

The Snare of People Pleasing

Insecurity 

Bitterness

What God Says about You

39 thoughts on “The Respect Dare, Day 2 – Childhood Scars

  1. April I’m so thankful that your childhood was so blessed. Praise God.
    My own childhood was peppered with trauma and abuse. After my Dad died My mum over parented and over protected me to try and prevent any further damage.
    When I got married I thought I had found the only Sir Galahad left on the planet and felt so lucky. A man I could trust implicitly with my heart, dreams and body. I realise now that i expected him to take the place of my Mum in doing and thinking for me. After experiencing his own trauma it became my turn to look after him and that’s when I started to get better. His resentment caused him to do and say cruel things and my Galahad became a fiendish villain and here’s where my unforgiveness enters the picture. Finally I was the grown up he wanted me to be but he was no longer willing to be my protector!
    God is showing me that we have created mutual idolatry; each expecting the other to take the place of God in our hearts. He is not a believer so the challenge of breaking this pattern falls to me. I’m not sure how to deal with his need to be idolised by me. When I focus away from idolising him in any way the verbal manipulation escalates. I no longer want to be a child in a woman’s body. I want to be the woman and wife God called me to be.
    This Respect Dare journey is already opening my eyes. Thank you April and Nina I’m praying that this project will help women across the world have better marriages and also relationship with Jesus too.
    ThxTam

    1. Tam,

      Thank you for sharing!

      I am SO SO sorry that you experienced abuse and trauma as a child. That leaves many deep scars. 🙁

      I pray God might heal your wounds and give you His peace and power to overcome them!

      God’s RX for you in this situation is I Peter 3:1-6. As you become the woman and wife God desires you to be, it is not your words about God and spiritual things, but your respect and cooperative attitude that will most powerfully impact your husband and draw him to yourself and to God. Of course, God’s Spirit must draw him, and it is your husband’s choice to make. There are no guarantees. But obeying God in that passage of scripture is the only path God gives wives in your situation to draw their husbands to Himself. That is how powerful your respect and honoring your husband’s leadership is. 🙂

      I have a post called “When My Spouse is Wrong.” You may want to search for it on my home page. It is REALLY good. My brother wrote it for my blog – I think it may be helpful.

      Thank you for your prayers!!!

      I love what God is doing in you already!

      1. Hi every one,my childhood memory I was abuse verbally,emotionally and physically by people that my mom and trust dearly my father sisters. The sad thing is my father was never their for me never hear my dad said i love you or proud of me.pass a way a month I was right by his side on his finally days I love him so much but never fill the same from him.. This is the reason why I struggle on how to deal my boyfriend I don’t understand man.
        My boyfriend came from a broken home too father was on drugs was never around as much mother has 5kids his is oldest he had grow up fast to help her pay bills and take care of his siblings he started working age7. His mother never show him love so he is looking for love through me. My question how can I be strong for both of us. We have been through so much ups and down. Sometime if we have a disagreement he tells me to shout up I will take that as very disrespectful and he will say I cut him off while he was talking and he’s the man,so later if he say I love I don’t respond back because in my head I think if you love me you don’t day anything to hurt me.so please April and guys tell me my faults and how I should handle things and take things.

        1. Nyillah,

          I believe the only way to overcome all of the pain and scars you have had is through the power of Christ working in you. Then He will give you His strength and power – you won’t have to try in your own strength to be a godly woman – which is totally impossible!

          As you learn to find your needs met in Jesus instead of your man, you will put Jesus first in your heart. He will matter more than anything, pleasing Him will be your primary goal in life and doing His will and bringing Him glory will be your purpose. Then you will find that He can more than meet your needs to feel loved, accepted, healed and safe. When you make Him your primary focus and want to know Him more than anything and want to bask in His presence and feast on His Word – you will find that He gives you peace, joy, strength, patience and wisdom that you cannot have on your own. He is so addictive! In the best way. Then He changes your desires, your motives, your heart and mind. He takes away the old sinful self and gives you a new heart and new self in Christ. He makes the things of this world seem unimportant and the things that are important to Him will become the most important things to you, too. It is not about trying to earn His love or earn heaven. He gives that to you as a gift when you put your trust in Him and are willing to give Him your life and all that you have and all that you are.

          I can’t wait to see what He has in store for you.

          Then you can respond without yelling even if your boyfriend yells at you. And God will give you wisdom about if you need to live on your own or get married. It is God’s will for women who trust CHrist to marry believers in CHrist who live for Him and make Him Lord, too.

          You may want to look at the post at the top of my home page about what is disrespectful to men and what is respectful to them.

          Much love to you!

      2. April your Brother quoted II Peter in his post “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith, goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.”
        Wow how to choose love step by step. Just follow the bouncing ball. I know I have faith, goodness and knowledge well still working on those. Self control not so much but I’m persevering. I’ve always been good at accepting kindness but never giving it out. No wonder he isn’t responding to my “love”. I’ve been missing the point all these years. Lord please open our eyes to our errors and nail it to the cross. Thank you April and please thank your brother too.

        1. Tam,

          I will!

          Yes, these things build and compound on each other. Pretty amazing, isn’t it?

          I think you get it, my friend! It’s pretty exciting when God shows us these treasures. 🙂 Praying for God to help you to live this out by His power! 🙂

  2. I was not raised in a Christian home and did not in turn raise my children in a Christian home. I found my savior Jesus at the age of 50.

    My Mom & Dad both had children when they married – her two boys and him 3; then my sister and I came 14 months apart.

    My folks had come from church backgrounds but not those of personal relationships with God. My Dad was raised baptist talking of itchy wool pants he wore to church and my Mom’s mom was a traveling Pentecostal Evangelist – so her stories included being locked in a closet to read the bible for hours. Once they married we all converted to Judaism – yup you heard that correct. We attended regularly until about 6th grade (we had a Christmas tree but called it a Hanukkah bush). After 6th grade there was nothing.

    I don’t’ recall learning anything about God at all – our house was filled with screaming and fighting. My Mom and Dad fought physically and verbally quite often. I thought sex was only for making up after horrible fights.

    There was abuse – as the youngest of 7 I feel I felt the least of the physical abuse.

    I got married at 18 and neither my husband nor I really knew anything about God. Occasionally we’d try a church but they’d always pounce on us and scare us off.

    I am so blessed now to be on this journey with my savior, Jesus Christ!

    I learned that marriage isn’t fun and you don’t like one another – It was a really negative environment.

    I think I decided NOT to live like my parents. I knew there was more – something I was missing, but I really didn’t know what it was.

    When I moved to Marshfield, WI in 2008 – I met a wonderful friend who taught me about God and introduced me to Jesus and the word.

    I have always loved my husband (married 34 years now) but until now I didn’t know how to fully respect him. I didn’t value him like I do today.

    With God all things are possible!

    Pam

    1. Pam,

      Thank you for sharing your story! I am sure that you have a good bit from your childhood that needs reprogramming. I am so thankful for all that God has done and is doing in your life! How beautiful!!!!

  3. April, I think I could be your spiritual twin. I, too, struggle with what’s my place and where’s Gods..lol. Controlling every aspect of my life was like a drug, but God is so healing me from that. I will continue to walk together with you and the other laddies.

    1. Corronda,

      It seems silly to say out loud! But I was SUPER CONFUSED about that and it messed me up big time. Yes, controlling – or, the illusion of thinking you are controlling – makes you feel “safe.” But we actually control very little – and the more we try to control, the more we repel others and God. I am so glad that God is working in your heart and life. What He is doing is beautiful! Thank you for being on this journey with us. 🙂

    1. Marjorie,

      I know that for me – it was SO IMPORTANT to write things down or type them. Since I wasn’t really talking to anyone about it, but it was mostly God and me, the Bible, some books and a big notebook – the writing/typing helped me work through things in a powerful way. I think that is an important step. If we skip this part, we may not see all the root issues.

  4. April, I’m so sorry you went through that and felt responsible for everyone. I can understand the people pleasing and feeling responsible. It is a heavy load. I’m thankful that God is sovereign even when we doubt he is. I know He is meeting me in a place of weakness. It’s hard for me to believe that God can use my weakness. I’ve often felt like I needed to defend God. People used to kick my rolling book bag and call me “Bible Girl” in school. I got this feeling that I had to be God’s mascot and defend him. I’m seeing that God can carry His own pretty good. Even if I fall, He’s still good. Thanks for always encouraging me and I’m glad to start this journey with everyone. ((hugs))

    1. Amberdover,

      I am sorry you had to go through what you did, goodness! Although, God says you will be blessed for being persecuted for Jesus! I agree, God is able to hold his own. But I understand wanting to defend Him. I can take someone attacking me and criticizing me, but start tearing down Jesus and I am going to be upset! 🙂

      Thank you for sharing!!!!

  5. My wrong thinking as a child came from “too” submissive wives that were a part of our circle of friends. (My mom was divorced and happy.) You spoke on being too submissive in some of your blogs and it really helped me to see the problem. These women were very unhappy women. They never confronted their husband’s bad behavior. They never disagreed or gave their opinion. I think they carried a lot of resentment. But, I never saw that. All I saw were slaves that were treated as such. I never saw them receive a hug or a kiss or even a smile. They were given a lecture or the silent treatment if the meal wasn’t right or the house not perfect. They always spoke well of their husbands. But what was always missing was a smile of joy on their faces. I doubt these women were giving a “warm” welcome in the marriage bed and enjoying their husbands which probably added to their husband’s behavior. In our church, they were deemed as the perfect wives. I am so thankful that I love my husband dearly and he loves me. And that I am learning that I can be respectful but I don’t have to accept bad behavior. I can say respectfully that I am hurt. I can leave the room if I am upset. Because I don’t have to pretend all is right if it isn’t, I get over things more quickly and I have true joy when all is better.

    1. DaisyMae,

      We sinful humans tend to take things to one extreme or the other – that is what we have to do when God’s Spirit is not filling us and empowering us to soar high above our circumstances. Yes, apart from God’s power, wives tend to go toward being doormats, giving up their personhood, giving up their influence, having no opinions and expressing no feelings to the opposite spectrum of being controlling and disrespectful, expecting our husbands to submit to us.

      God’s ways are so beautiful and good.

      You absolutely can be respectful AND also not accept bad behavior. This is not about faking anything, but becoming our most authentic selves in Christ. 🙂

      Love it!

  6. One of my first memories that my mind warped was when I was in the hospital for surgery for hip disease I had. Its gone now though, im experiencing early arthritis symptoms & will need a hip transplant by the time im 50 but anyway. My mom literally lived in my hospital room with me until I went home, one day i woke up & she wasnt there & I got hysterical i think from a bad dream. She just went out for air but I felt abandoned by it. About a yr or 2 later my parents divorced & my mom spent much of her time involved in church activities to get away from my dad & i remember sitting in the front room window every night crying for her to come back, again i felt abandoned. In my adult life I have an extreme fear of my husband leaving me. That fear had begun to rule my life. I am letting that go & resting in God but i still have occasional time i get consumed but the Lord is fighting this fight & it will be won.

    1. Nicole,
      I am glad you see where your fear comes from. That is very helpful!

      Have you read my posts on fear? Have you had help facing your fears? Do you believe God is more powerful than your fears?

      Much love!!!

  7. So far I have read half your posts so im not sure if ive read something you specifically had in mind. Yes I do believe God is more powerful than my fears, and yes God is helping me face my fears. I have spoken with my husband about this and he loves me and does not want to be with anyone else so really my fear is not necessary, if I continue to let my fear have control I may end up bringing that fear to life. I have let that fear die because I know that no matter what happens God will always be here for me and I can rest in His peace and enjoy my husband now without worrying.

    1. Nicole,
      You can search “fear” if you want to – those posts may be helpful if you haven’t read them. 🙂

      I am glad that you see that your fear is not necessary and that it can be so destructive. I pray that God will empower you to rest in His love and peace and to lay down the fear at Jesus’ feet. 🙂

  8. Hi April- i started the dare and got the book. I am on day 2 today and this one is really hard for me. I cannot pin point 1 big event that happened but more like just little events happening over time or just my parents interaction with each other over the years. I prayed and asked God to reveal something that happened that maybe I forgot that impacts me today. The only thing that keeps coming to my mind is when I was about 7ish I was on the front porch of our house with my brother and I believe his friend although the memory is vague on who all was there. His friend or whoever was there picked me straight up off my feet by having his hands around my neck and picked me up that way ( i was very skinny and small when I was young), straight up and then back down. I remember being scared out of my mind, my eyes getting huge and them just kinda laughing it off. It was I guess to be a funny thing, not anything real serious or harmful. to them anyway. i do not recall my brother saying a word and I faintly remember my parents or my mom seeing and not doing anything. but I could be wrong on that part. I have had this short memory of this since it happened. I have never mentioned it to anyone, I’m sure my family would deny it. I am just struggling with answering the questions with how this could be impacting me now or what interpretation exists now b/c of this 1 event.
    I tend to be disrespectful to my hubby, have to have it my way, yell/curse at him when really angry, not a gentle/quiet spirit, strong willed, a little controlling, etc. I am saved, so is my hubby, I have written on here before quite a bit. I have had a lot of events with people particularly men i would be involved with that would always send the message they could care less about me and what i wanted or wanted to say was of no importance. my controlling behavior from that just got worse with each person to now my poor husband who was never like that. also with my parents growing up, yes they were believers and went to church, but i always, always, from 4 years old i can remember feeling like I couldn’t tell them anything and I would shove it all down or clam up. Not sure why. Always felt like that with them growing up. I had an incident as a 4 year old I think my brothers friend tried molesting me when I was sleeping. well someone did and since my brother and dad never did anything to me all my life I assumed it was my brother’s friend who slept over that 1 time, they were 9/10..the kid had a single dad he lived with who had women in and out a lot. I started to wake up and they went away. BUT the next morning i was going to tell my parents, i remember being near them and getting ready to tell and then I think my brother came in or him and his friend and I clammed up and never said a word, even to this day. I just don’t know how to incooperate this into the dare. like what I could get from this now, how it affects me now.

    1. Shana,

      Goodness, those are some painful memories.

      I think what you are describing about feeling like you couldn’t speak up is a very important thing, like you didn’t have control, like you weren’t being protected… those feelings lead a young girl to feel like she has to try to be in control herself.

      If you did not feel like you could trust your parents or share with them honestly, your view of God may be very similar.

      You may have a lot of fear to deal with. And you may not see who God is accurately.

      The molesting thing breaks my heart. I’m so sad you didn’t say anything to your parents. Have you shared about that with your husband?

      This would be a great time to evaluate – who do you believe God is? What is His character and nature? What are your fears about God? What does the Bible say about His character and nature and His love for you?

      Are you willing to label your fears and to lay them down at His feet?

      IS there anything you are holding back from Him?

      Are you ready to trust God?

      Much love!
      April

  9. Hi April I hope I’m not to late to start. As i sit here and share some of my most painful memories I always thought that once you come to Christ you forget about the past..
    Well I could remember the physical abuse between my mom and dad. My mom took us and left him. Never really having a childhood friend because we moved a lot. A situation happened where I thought I hurt my brother because his leg broke and I was just trying to help. Name calling from my mom and abuse(physically) by her boyfriend. I always wanted friends so I fell into a people pleasing spirit also thinking if I do things for people they would like or love me. I really don’t remember a time I heard my mother say I love you. But I do recall being called fat, stupid, and her threatening my life saying she would drown me in the bathtub..always putting people before us(her children) fast forward to teenage years playing the harlot with men believing that someone would not see me as she has. That they would not see me as fat or ugly. Being rejected for a relationships because I wasn’t skinny enough. I was only good enough for sex never for a relationship. I wasn’t a Christian then though. Fast forward to adult years same thing, people pleasing, not being loved and playing the harlot. Eating to surpress the pain. People that were so called sister’s poured out so much negative stuff on me regarding the Lord that I thought God hated me. I still battle with these thoughts. I see in my life where I am broken by hurt, trust and rejection that I think God will do the same thing to me. My husband didn’t protect me from those people so I battle with forgiving him too. Rejection is a part of my life and I feel I don’t deserve happiness because the way my life has been. My mother was suppose to be there for me and yet she was not..she left an open door for us to get abused:( please pray for me April…

    1. Submissive,
      Coming to Christ doesn’t make you forget about the past, but Jesus can give you the power to heal from the past and focus on the future. You can choose to “forget what is behind and strain toward what is ahead…” As Paul describes.

      My heart completely breaks for you. No child should EVER experience a use from anyone, especially not their own parent. That is not God’s design and heart happened to you was very, very wrong.

      You are created in the image of God, a woman of infinite worth, a precious daughter of The King of kings and Lord of lords!! When you are in Christ, all He has is yours. His death, His resurrection, His righteousness, His holiness, His value… These old toxic lies have to go.

      Do you have any godly wife mentor or biblical Christian counselor helping you walk through all of these old wounds and scars?

      What you believe about yourself is not true! What happened with your husband was not right either, my precious girl!!! I want to hug your neck!

      1. Hi april I’m seeking God daily and trusting that in his timing he will bring a mentor for me. I have been reading your sight though and I see a lot here on this blog I need to work on. Last night though i repented of my sins and old thoughts because I need to be set free in Christ. Thank you for the encouraging words as I will continue to seek God in his word. Thank you for the hug and prayers:) I know that you have and will pray for me. I believe God will take the pain away as I continue on with the respect dare. Thank you again:)

  10. Hi April I hope I’m not to late to start. As i sit here and share some of my most painful memories I always thought that once youLamentations 3:18-25 KJV

    And I said, My strength and my hope is perished from the Lord : Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall. My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me. This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.come to Christ you forget about the past..
    Well I could remember the physical abuse between my mom and dad. My mom took us and left him. Never really having a childhood friend because we moved a lot. A situation happened where I thought I hurt my brother because his leg broke and I was just trying to help. Name calling from my mom and abuse(physically) by her boyfriend. I always wanted friends so I fell into a people pleasing spirit also thinking if I do things for people they would like or love me. I really don’t remember a time I heard my mother say I love you. But I do recall being called fat, stupid, and her threatening my life saying she would drown me in the bathtub..always putting people before us(her children) fast forward to teenage years playing the harlot with men believing that someone would not see me as she has. That they would not see me as fat or ugly. Being rejected for a relationships because I wasn’t skinny enough. I was only good enough for sex never for a relationship. I wasn’t a Christian then though. Fast forward to adult years same thing, people pleasing, not being loved and playing the harlot. Eating to surpress the pain. People that were so called sister’s poured out so much negative stuff on me regarding the Lord that I thought God hated me. I still battle with these thoughts. I see in my life where I am broken by hurt, trust and rejection that I think God will do the same thing to me. My husband didn’t protect me from those people so I battle with forgiving him too. Rejection is a part of my life and I feel I don’t deserve happiness because the way my life has been. My mother was suppose to be there for me and yet she was not..she left an open door for us to get abused:( please pray for me April…

  11. Hi April thank you for your concern. I’m safe. But maybe I was not clear. My husband was not involved in infidelity ever. He didn’t protect me from the negative people. But I can’t blame him for that. But we don’t have problems in that area though. I’m sorry I didn’t make myself clear.

      1. Submissive,
        Yep – there was another person commenting with a similar name around the same time you did on a different post whose husband had multiple affairs. I’m sorry!

        And I am really glad you are safe and your husband was not involved in infidelity. Whew!

  12. God is so good!I am no longer a slave to childhood traumas.Having gone thru many things as a child.I can now look back and see some of the good things too.I thank God I had parents who taught me about Jesus.They were not perfect and neither am I.But my Jesus is perfect enough for the both of us.I am a child of God saved by grace thru faith in Jesus.And I am so glad He never gave up on me.His loving kindness has won me over!His love is unfailing despite what we go thru in life we can overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony in Christ Jesus!He makes all things in us new when we come to Him.No more condemnation or guilt or shame from the past.He has become my life!Thank You Jesus for all You have done in me and thru me!

My grandmother is on hospice and won't be with us much longer (11-30-16). I will get to comments when I am able to but I need to be with family right now. Thanks for understanding.

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