Some of you are feeling extremely depressed, lost, broken, hopeless, worthless and like there is no purpose for your lives. Some of you were cruelly abused as children by your own parents, friends or family members. Some of you have been abused by your own husband who is supposed to provide for you, protect you, pray for you and love you humbly and selflessly with the love of Christ. Some of you believe the enemy’s lies that you deserved to be mistreated, abused, neglected, abandoned or hated. Some of you are feeling hopeless because of choices you made that you are paying very dearly for now.
If that is you, how I wish I could hug your neck!!!!!!! My beautiful and precious sister in Christ!!!!!!!!!!
My heart just breaks for you.
I wish so much that NO one EVER EVER EVER had to live in a family that was destructive. That is not what God intended family to be. If your mother, father, care-giver, friend, pastor, husband or anyone called you horrible names, insulted you, hated you, beat you, molested you or abused you emotionally/spiritually/sexually/mentally/physically – please hear this:
What they did to you was WRONG. That was sin – and whoever mistreated you will answer to God for it. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED!!!!!!!!
You did nothing to deserve that awful treatment! It is NOT your fault. A mother and father’s sin always causes pain for them and even more so for their children. A husband’s sin can create incredible suffering for his wife – just like a wife’s sin can deeply wound and afflict her husband. If those you love and trust choose to live in disobedience to God’s Word – you will also pay a steep price. Sin hurts people – and it deeply grieves the heart of God.
Thankfully, our God can “repay you for the years the locusts have eaten.” Joel 2:25
GOD’S WILL FOR YOU GROWING UP:
God’s will was for your parents to love Him with all their hearts, minds, souls and strength and for them to love each other and be married and united as one spiritually/emotionally/physically. God’s will was for them to set a godly example of marriage and faith in Christ for their children. God’s will was for them to love, nurture, protect, provide for and carefully discipline their children for the children’s good – that their children might grow up to be godly, mature, responsible, healthy adults with healthy marriages and families of their own one day. God’s will was for your parents to love Him and to love you and to teach you God’s Word and His wisdom and how to love and trust Him. If you were abused, neglected, mistreated, abandoned, molested or wronged – your parents failed you. God did not want them to do those things. His heart is GREATLY grieved over what you have suffered.
GOD’S WILL FOR YOUR MARRIAGE:
God’s will for your marriage is that your husband would love you tenderly, gently, completely, unconditionally and that he might sacrifice himself for your best interests. God’s will for your marriage is that your husband would be faithful to Him and to you, that your husband would live in obedience to His Word. God’s will for your marriage is that your husband would not sin against you or your children and that your husband would provide for you, protect you, lead you in godliness and be a living example of the humble, selfless love of Christ because your husband loves and submits to God.
God’s will for your marriage is that you would respect your husband and honor his God-given leadership (unless he asks you to sin) because you trust and reverence and submit to Christ. God’s will is that you would not sin against your husband or children. God does not tempt us with evil. He wants us to be holy as He is holy – and if we are filled with His Spirit – He can empower us to obey Him in everything! God’s will is for you to be a living example – by His grace alone – of the joy, trust, cooperation, reverence, faith and intimacy that the church has with Christ.
God’s will is that your marriage would bring Him great glory, praise and honor and that it would draw your children and many others to faith in Christ!
I HAVE A SECRET TO SHARE WITH YOU!
Our God is SO HUGE, MIGHTY, LOVING, POWERFUL and SOVEREIGN – that He wants to take all of this pain and suffering you have endured unfairly, and even the pain you have endured because of your own sin (things you have done wrong that wound God’s heart) – and use it to do something extremely beautiful in your life that will bless you and many other people and bring great honor and glory to Himself!
Thankfully – what people mean for evil against us – God can use for great good.
Read the story of Joseph in Genesis chapters 37, 39-45 to see how Joseph’s brothers intended to harm him out of jealousy, but God intended God towards Joseph – even though he suffered as a slave and a prisoner for 14 years. And of course, God used the evil that Satan did and that people did against Christ to provide a way of salvation for us all. Our God loves to bring beauty from ashes. He loves to turn mourning into joy. He can heal your heart and soul and fill you with His peace, love, joy, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. He can transform your mind with the power of His Word. He can bring you abundant life when you seek Him with all your heart and long to know Him more than anything else.
NONE OF US ARE WORTHY OF GOD’S LOVE
All people are evil on our own. We are all wretched sinners. Isaiah in the Old Testament says that God says our attempts at being good are like “filthy, bloody menstrual rags” in His sight. BUT – when we accept Jesus’ death to pay for our sins and all that we have done that offended God – and we turn our lives over to Him completely as LORD of our lives, loving Him with all our hearts, souls, minds and strength – then God looks at us and sees the holiness of Jesus. We can’t make ourselves right with God. But we can put all of our faith and trust in Jesus’ blood shed for us to make us right with God.
Our sins can be washed completely away – not because we were good enough, but because Jesus was good enough.
None of us deserve good things because we are all sinful people. But Jesus’ love for us was SO HUGE that He wanted us to be able to be right with Him and with God, even though we didn’t deserve it and couldn’t earn a relationship with Him. So it is by grace that we come to God, through faith in what Jesus did for us on the cross – there is nothing we can do to impress God or to pay for our own sinfulness to be able to be with God. The penalty for sin is death. I either have to pay for my sins – suffering punishment in hell, being away from God after I die – or I can accept the gift Jesus gives me, allowing Him to pay completely for all I have done wrong. It is His blood that can cover our hearts if we accept Him and then He pays our sin debt, even though we owe “billions of dollars” to God – and He gives us His own heavenly bank account that can never be depleted.
You can’t be good on your own. None of us can. According to Jesus Himself, only God is good. But when you allow Christ to live in you, to change you, to renew your heart and mind with His Word, and you seek Him and love Him more than anything else in life – God can produce much good in you.
YOUR LIFE HAS PURPOSE AND MEANING IN CHRIST
He has good plans and purposes for you when you seek Him with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13) I can’t promise you that there won’t be suffering. In fact, the Bible promises over and over that believers in Christ WILL suffer. But He promises that His Spirit will be with us and that He will use suffering for our ultimate good and for His glory. (Romans 8:28)
God’s purpose for you is that you be an image bearer of God – that you worship and love Him with all that you are and all that you have – and that you share and spread His glory in the world, bringing the hope and light of Christ to those who are in darkness.
Would you like to know something even more amazing? Most likely, God is going to take the things that caused you the most pain and create a ministry for you to help others in similar situations. That is how God works.
He is now using my sin for those first 14.5 years of my marriage – and the pain of my loneliness in my marriage during that time – to reach thousands of women around the world for His kingdom and to teach His design for marriage. Nothing is wasted in God’s economy!
So I know that God can use the sin of your parents, your husband or others against you and all the loneliness and the feelings of unworthiness, unacceptance, fear, pain and grief to birth in you a ministry to greatly bless others one day. I trust Him to show you each step of the way.
First He is going to heal you and draw you closer and closer to His heart. But then when you are strong in Christ and empowered by Him, He will send you out to share His hope, comfort, truth, peace, joy and freedom with many others who are trapped and imprisoned and they will listen to you because you have been where they are.
TODAY CAN BE A NEW CHAPTER, A NEW LIFE IN CHRIST
Please allow Jesus to lift your chin. Look into His eyes blazing with love for you – and take His hand that was pierced on the cross for you – give up your life, your dreams, your plans, your wisdom, your ideas, your pain, your isolation, the lies you have believed, your past, your hurt, the abuse you suffered, lay it at the foot of the cross. Your old self needs to be nailed to the cross with Jesus. Then you are free to pick up your cross and follow Him. You will pick up His dreams, His wisdom, His truth, His healing, His plans, His will and His greatest glory.
Your prison door is open now, my friend! Jesus has unlocked it. I’m standing right outside the dungeon holding my hand out to you. Take my hand, we will run together out of that dark prison of the enemy and we will burst into the light, freedom, peace, joy, hope, purpose and strength of Christ together!
Here is truth from God’s Word about how Christ sees you:
- You are deeply loved and fully known by God – more than you could ever fathom. There is nothing you can do to change that.
- You are totally accepted by God when you accept Jesus’ gift of salvation and make Him the LORD of your life. Then when God looks at you, He sees the holiness of His Son, your sins are erased – and you are in right standing with Him. You can have peace with God through the blood of Jesus.
- You can be 100% emotionally and spiritually healed.
Jesus loves you! He died for you. God raised Him from the dead. You can have His new life in you if you ask Him! He can forgive you for all of your sins. He can heal you from the abuse you suffered. That power that raised Jesus from the dead – you can have that same power in you! Stop looking for your worth from sinful people, my dear girl!
Look to Christ alone to find your worth, your acceptance, your strength, your hope, your purpose, your LIFE, your joy…
I sure do want to hug you and pray with you, and how I wish I could be there to see the glow on your face when you accept all that Jesus has done for you and the new life He offers you, leaving that old life in the grave.
I’m here. Leave me a comment. (I try to get back to people within a day, sometimes it may be 2 days depending on my work schedule – if you need help now, please find a Christian pastor/counselor or go to the hospital – see below ***) We will walk this road together. I can’t do the hard work for you. But I will do my best to point you to Christ and His Word and to love you and share God’s truth with you. I care deeply about you. I want to see you thrive and be close to God, full of His love and power!
If you are not reading something in God’s Word this week already, please read Romans, Especially Romans chapter 8! This is what God says about you!
Much love to you, my precious sister!
*** If you are in danger of harming yourself – please IMMEDIATELY seek help! Go to the hospital. Call 911. See your Christian pastor or counselor right away. Call your doctor.
*** If you are on many anti-depressants or anti-psychotics, stopping them quickly or the first few weeks you start on them can cause suicidal thoughts. Go to your doctor or the ER immediately if you are in danger!!!
Desiring God by John Piper – He Who Has the Son Has Life
Desiring God by John Piper – The Joyful Duty of Man
John Piper – The Danger: Perishing