An 8 minute Peacefulwife video. (The volume issue should be resolved now! 🙂
You, my precious sister in Christ, are not going to be perfect. Not until heaven!
Your husband is not going to be perfect on this earth, either. And neither are your children!
The sooner you can accept that, the sooner you can begin to relax, enjoy and savor your relationships!
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Reblogged this on Peaceful Single Girl.
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Peacefulwife.com
Yes, this one is louder, April!
I got an a-ha moment after this one. Maybe perfectionist personalities are more prone to try to control husbands!I know its simple, but sometimes you have to get that revelation on even simple things. I have been that type of personality and actually now that I think about it, the women I know that are guilty of controlling behaviors seem to also be perfectionists. Its the whole “control”thing, which goes back to pride.
I have to admit, when I first saw the opening moments of your video I was like-“Why is her house looking like that?” it’s usually so clean! I love your hardwood floors and just the look of your house, so that draws my attention when I look at your videos. It’s honestly appealing to me because I have hardwood floors and love the look of a clean house. It gives me peace to start off my day with a clean house. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that-I think what the point of your video is to not neglect how you treat people in favor of making things and situations PERFECT.
I know I could work on that, but honestly that’s a word for me 5 years ago and prior, when I had young kids and a house and life I was struggling to get a hold of. I hope your message reaches especially young moms with kids not in school or moms who work with small children like yourself.
Anonymous, YES!!!!!!
I do believe that perfectionists are controlling. I think these tendencies DEFINITELY go hand in hand.
I made things look messier than normal on that video – to prove that I don’t have to impress people with how perfect things are. 🙂 Right – people are more important. I do usually try to keep the house fairly clean. But I don’t freak out about it or obsess like I used to. And I don’t strive for perfection – just relative order. 🙂
Thank you for the comment! I love AHA moments!!!!!!!!!
The scripture says to be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect, and be holy for He is holy.
Sharon,
But we can only do that in God’s strength, not our own. And if we make “being perfect” the most important thing, and we are not doing it through God’s Spirit – that is when it becomes an idol.
Great question! 🙂
Oh my, so I started to watch this and as April started talking, I’m noticing the pillow, the ball on the table and TV tray. I’m thinking “April, what’s going on, your house always looks so nice, does she know the mess going on behind her?” Then she points out that she does…and it’s okay! Con-vic-tion! Alright, yep, I see the point. Well done! My favorite aha moment was “perfectionism focuses us on the fraction of wrong in our eyes and we lose the gratitude for all that is right”. Even though our motives may be right, the real outcome is NOT pleasing to God. Didn’t the tower of Babel fail because the people wanted to be perfect and be as high up as God? Well, He took care of that, didn’t he? My marriage began to fail, now that I can see in hindsight, when I promised to be the best mom to our kids. I would stop at nothing to accomplish that goal. In the process, my husband felt like he was not good enough to be a parent or husband, constantly criticized and blamed. I lost my own soul to this idol of perfectionism and my own self esteem went down the drain as I continually failed at achieving perfectionism. I was consumed by PTA parent groups in an effort to “control” every advantage for my kids and be perfect. I even contributed to my daughter feeling under pressure to be perfect and cracking under the pressure. She, too, is now consumed with perfectionism at 13 years old. I see the tremendous pressure and I watch her joyful childhood slipping away. I ferl so responsible. My husband is a perfectionist too, but probably a mixture of learning from me and his own level he brought in. Now I fight against his perfectionism because I know I can’t deliver what I thought I could promise back then. What a mess. Now, I only have his crumbs of time, affection, love and attention I can be thankful for. I used to have 90% of my husband. But because I wasn’t grateful for that 90% and I harper on the 10% that was not perfect (in my opinion), I have much less. I have 5% of my husband now. My method was severely flawed. Only God’s way works. Even in life, 85% of my life is wonderful… healthy kids, my own health, a job I love, family friends who care about me, a nice house, no big money problems. If I just focus on my 15% of my life that is not perfect (my marriage) then I may lose all that other 85% that I just listed. Life is not and will never be perfect. I will be grateful and joyous for what God allows me to have instead of envious for what I dont. Thank you, April for letting me see your messy house…I still giggled when you admitted you will be cleaning it up later! Hehe.