This is a guest post from Kate McKenzie at www.mcmiracle.com
I’m a psychopath really. For the last seven-ish years I have been trying to tell Jason where to park and how to park. Pretty much wherever we go. This is not an exaggeration for the purpose of a more interesting post. I literally should have just made myself a official business card and handed it to Jason on our wedding day.
We’ve finally gotten to a place {miracle of miracles} that we can laugh about it. The other day, he just started making fun of me. “I’m so thankful for you. I never really knew that the objective of parking was to try and find the closest spot to the building. I’m soooo glad you’re here to teach me that!”
Let me give you some examples.
Last summer we went to Vancouver, B.C. with my parents. We were parking in a parking garage with tight spaces. Jason was driving. But you never would have guessed that since I was loudly voicing my parking expertise as he tried to navigate the space. Pick this one. No this one. No, not that one. That’s too tight. That’s too far. This one is perfect. No you cut it too tight to the left. Back up. Straighten your wheel. I can’t remember if it was indeed that bad, that controlling, that horrifying…but it was bad enough that he stopped the car halfway through parking and with my parents in the backseat looked at me and said, “Do you want to drive?” The look that accompanied the question did not indicate that he was in any way thankful for my “help.” I’d like to say that I repented right then and there. Nope. We walked to the meter. Paid for the parking. Went back to the car. Put the sticker back in it. Walked a few blocks to the movie theater. Watched a movie. Maybe there was some repentance after that. To tell you the truth I can’t even remember.
Four months ago we were driving by our doctor’s office to go park outside and pray for our embryos before our transfer. He pulled into a spot a little bit to the right {like 2 spaces} of where I wanted to be. Because I wanted to be directly in line with the sign for the building. Not two spaces to the right. Duh. So I told him what to do. Obviously. Doesn’t everyone know you need to park exactly across from the letters for the building? Good thing he has me to help him get it right.
As you can imagine, Jason got to a point where he really didn’t even enjoy being in the car with me and going places.
That breaks my heart.
Now we laugh about it and when we pull into a lot I keep my mouth shut. And surprise, surprise, the man knows how and where to park! It’s like I’ve retired from my long term career as a professional parking consultant. He even said, “Wow, you’re not telling me to park anymore. I like it.”
I don’t know if you’re a parking nazi. If you’re not, I hope you will be careful to not dismiss my story because you aren’t controlling towards your husband when it comes to parking the car. But don’t overlook other areas of your life. This was one are where I struggled. I have more {Gasp. What? Shock! Horror.} Chances are you’ve got yours. The places where you have to be in control. Where you run the show. Where you may literally be making your husband feel like an idiot and completely disrespecting him and demeaning him as a man. As his partner. If you don’t know where that may be, I’d say you probably have a blind spot. I bet your husband can tell you. Are you courageous enough to ask? To repent of your sin of control or pride or selfishness? To ask your husband and God for forgiveness? Do you believe there’s grace for that? do you believe that Jesus can put that sin to death? I do. I know because He did. And He does.
Here’s a hard question: in the midst of surrendering your need to control, do you trust God enough to work on your husband {since you can’t change him or fix him or train him}? Do you trust God enough to be in control? Are you willing to admit that you’re not the fourth member of the Trinity and you don’t really have the sovereignty you thought you did? If not, why? What are you afraid of? Have you talked to Jesus about it? About your fears? Your hesitancy to surrender control? I bet He’ll listen. Why?
Because Jesus is real. Jesus is good. Jesus is in control.
I promise you. I know because I’m proof of that. And my marriage is proof of that.