Marriage Seminar "7 Basic Needs of a Wife and 7 Basic Needs of a Husband"

My husband and I began attending a class at our church tonight taught by one of my favorite Bible teachers, Harold Weaver.  I wish this class went on for about 7 hours- it is so fascinating to me!  But tonight we only got to the first need of a wife.  I am paraphrasing, but it was along the lines of “a wife needs her husband to be a spiritual leader and authority over her in the marriage.”

I love the point that Rev. Weaver brought up that when God designates authority over us, it is always for our benefit, protection and freedom.  The world wants to say that submitting to authority causes us to be repressed and oppressed.  But the opposite is true when we follow God’s Word and obey Scripture.  I LOVE the freedom of knowing I am under Greg’s spiritual authority.  I can bring up any issue I want.  I can say, “I think we should adopt a baby.”  “I think we should give money to orphans and widows.”  “I want to read Bible passages with our family after supper.”  And then my husband is responsible to God for how he handles things and the decisions he makes.  I present my desires and what I believe God wants us to do, but he is the one who must make the decisions and he will face God and be accountable to Him.  What a huge weight of responsibility.  I used to think I carried a lot of the weight of responsibility in our marriage and it was overwhelming, exhausting, scary and made me very anxious and afraid just thinking about the ramifications of making so many important decisions.

I am so thankful that God gave me a husband and placed that weight on his stronger shoulders.  I am thankful for the protection of being under my husband’s protection and authority.  He can see things that I can’t.  He can see when I am overextending myself and need to slow down.  I would have just driven myself into the ground if left to my own devices.  He can see toxic relationships and tell me that he doesn’t want me to spend time talking to a certain friend – what freedom that brings me!  And I am blessed when I listen to his counsel.

One thing I hadn’t thought of before tonight was that when the Bible says that “The husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the Church.” (Ephesians 5:23) – that is actually not transferrable.  It is not optional.  It’s not a suggestion, “the husband could be or should be the head of the wife.”  There is no wiggle room.   Many husbands try to say that the wife should be the head because “she is more mature, she knows the Bible better, she is a better leader…”  Those things may be true, but he cannot give her his authority in God’s sight.  The authority and responsibility rests on him alone.

What an important choice- deciding to get married.  Ladies, those of you who are not married- I implore you, choose a man who loves Jesus MORE than he loves you!  Choose a man who loves the Word of God.  Choose a man who desires to seek God’s kingdom first.  He will be the spiritual authority over you.  Be sure you chose wisely!  Once you are married, it is no longer a choice, it is your reality.


I pray for my husband and the husbands of the wives who will read and pray with me.  Let them use their authority over us well.  Give them Your wisdom to lead us and our children in Your paths.  Let them have ears that are eager to hear Your voice!  Let them love You with their whole hearts, souls, minds and strength!  Let our husbands seek You above all else on earth!  Let our husbands submit themselves to You as their head so that they might be godly leaders over us and our families.  Use them to do Your will in our lives even when we can’t see the way and don’t understand.  Help us to be respectful of the authority You have given our husbands over us.  Help us to make their job easier and pleasant.  Help us to have a willing spirit and to offer encouragement and praise whenever we see our husbands doing something that honors You.  Thank You that You are so powerful that we can trust You to lead us through our husbands.  Help us to properly respect the position of authority You have given our husbands over us and to bring glory to the Word of God and to Christ by our behavior towards our husbands.  Raise up a generation of godly men who know how to lead their wives and children and a generation of godly women who appreciate and respect their husbands’ leadership and who support their husbands’ wisdom and decisions and pray for their husbands daily.  Raise up our children to be faithful servants of Christ who have godly examples of faith, love, respect, marriage and who are taught Your Word daily by word and example!  Let us shine brightly for You, Lord!