Think about the people you know who are fun to give to. I have to give kudos to my 5 year old daughter’s teacher at school- she is one of the best gift-receivers I have ever seen! When someone gets excited about a gift she receives, it is FUN to give to that person. This teacher demonstrated such gracious receiving at Christmas time when she was opening the little gifts the 4 and 5 year olds had given her. She would ooh and ahh and squeal with excitement before she even opened the gifts. Then she would gush about each gift and how she would enjoy it and when and where she would use it. She modelled all the jewelry the children gave her. She acted SO appreciative of each small gift and like it was the greatest thing in the world that each child gave her something so special. I have to give her a big A+ in receiving abilities!
What do our husbands see in us when they give their time or effort to delighting us?
A husband’s biggest thrill is when he can delight his wife and really make her face light up. When he does projects around the house, or takes out the trash, or makes dinner, or helps with the children, or handles the finances, or goes to work, or buys you something – these are all gifts he is presenting to you with the hope that his efforts will bring a gorgeous smile to your face that goes all the way up into your bright, beautiful eyes! It is FUN to give to someone who receives with joy. In fact, when a man sees that he can delight and please a woman, it often becomes his mission to do even more things for her because he loves feeling like a success and loves feeling like he knows how to make her happy.
Instead of saying things like, “You loaded the dishwasher wrong again!” or “The clothes will wrinkle if you let them sit in the dryer that long and I will have to do it all over again!” or “Why couldn’t you wash the dishes instead of just rinsing them and leaving them in the sink for me?” or “I don’t like that color on me, I’m going to take that dress back.” or “That’s not the brand of orange juice the kid’s like” – we can express delight, joy, appreciation and gratitude. If gifts of time and effort and money are unappreciated by a wife, a husband may eventually lose the motivation to even try to do anything special for her because “What’s the point? She won’t like what I do anyway? Nothing I do is good enough for her.”
A cheerful and simple, “Thank you!” with a huge smile is the least a husband deserves after doing anything for his wife or the family! When my man makes any effort to lighten my load or help me with chores or give me a gift (even if it is not wrapped in a bow)- I want to be sure he is glad he spent the time doing something sweet for me. I thank him right then and hug him and smile brightly at him. I am sure to tell the children how thoughtful and generous and kind their Daddy is. I might even brag on him on Facebook or to his parents or my parents or our friends.
A wise woman appreciates whatever her husband offers her and receives it cheerfully and joyfully.
Are you noticing the little gifts and effort that your husband is offering to you on a daily basis?
- Does he take care of your car or get you a cup of coffee in the morning?
- Does he live where he knows you prefer to live even if he has to spend more money to live there or drive farther to work himself?
- Does he let you have the better car and he drives the old clunker?
- Does he go to the church you like best or crawl under the house to work on the sewer pipes?
- Does he run by the store if you are sick or need something?
- Does he pitch in and try to help out with chores and with the children when you politely ask for help?
- Does he go to work daily to provide for the family without complaining and without fail?
- Does he take you on dates and plan family vacations he knows you would enjoy?
- Does he let you watch girly movies sometimes?
Our men are generally extremely generous towards us. They love us and often try to show their love by serving us, doing things for us and buying things they hope we will love. Sometimes we don’t recognize how generous our husbands are because they are giving us things we didn’t ask for or things that aren’t wrapped in pretty paper with a bow. Or they don’t pay as much attention to all the details of a chore that we would. Sometimes we squash our husband’s generosity with our negative reactions and criticisms of the gifts they do offer to us.
Help us be wonderful, joyful receivers of all the gifts our men give to us. Help us inspire the generosity of our husbands by our gracious reception of the time, effort and money that our men spend on us. Help us to be easy to please and to be generous with showing our delight with our husbands. Help us make it easy for our husbands to feel successful and like they are doing a great job in our marriages and families. Help us to be generous with praise and gratitude and smiles.