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Can I Be a Sexually Immoral Christian?

Photo by mark chaves on Unsplash

Here’s the short answer:

Nope.

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.  I Corinthians 6:9-11

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Eph. 5:3

No sin is compatible with Christ.

Sin is an archery term that means “to miss the mark.”  Sin is anything that misses the mark of God’s standard of holy perfection. If we miss the target by 1/2 an inch. That is a “sin.”  If we miss it by 100 feet, that is also a “sin.”

If we cherish and cling to sin  – ANY sin – we forfeit the power of the Holy Spirit working in us if we are believers.  Sin deeply grieves the Spirit of God. God cannot tolerate the presence of even microscopic amounts of sin. He is HOLY. And He calls us to live holy lives – free from all sin. God’s Spirit dwells in us if we are believers. We are His temple. But we can grieve God’s Spirit and lose fellowship with Him (Ephesians 4).

If Christ is our Lord, we don’t lose our salvation if we sin – but we stop abiding in Christ and we lose the power of His Spirit that we need to live in obedience to Him. We lose the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-33) and begin to be controlled again by the sinful nature (Galatians 5:19-21).

And if Christ is our Lord – we will not be ok with losing His fellowship. God’s Spirit will work on us to convict us and bring us to repentance quickly unless we harden our hearts.

Of course, if we have never received Christ as our Savior and LORD, we don’t have the Holy Spirit to start with – so God is not in us. Maybe we walked down the aisle at church, said a prayer, and filled out a card, but there was no heart and life change. Maybe we think we are Christians, because we go to church sometimes, but we really don’t know God and don’t have any desire to live for Him or to seek His will. We may, in that situation, be able to live in sin and not have any prick of conscience. In this state, it is possible to call oneself a “Christian” and to continue in major sin. But that is only because we don’t realize what it means to be a Christian.

I cannot embrace sin AND Jesus.  I must choose one or the other.

That sounds really radical, right?

In our own power – it IS COMPLETELY impossible for us to live sinless lives.  We HAVE to have God’s Spirit living in us or we can’t begin to do this. God says that our own attempts at right living and holiness look like “dirty, bloody, filthy menstrual rags” in His sight. Isaiah 64:6. There is nothing good in us on our own. We are all wretched sinners.

  • For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23
  • The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23
  • Jesus answered, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father but through Me.” John 14:6

Jesus talks about the cost of following Him – and it is Lordship:

  • Anyone who loves Me will obey Me… if anyone does not obey Me, he does not love Me. John 14:22,24
  • Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:37-39

Someone who belongs to Christ cares about what Jesus cares about. 

If I claim Christ as my Savior and LORD, then HE is my greatest priority and love. By a long shot. Knowing Him is my most passionate goal. Pleasing Him is what I long to do more than anything out of thankfulness and amazement for all that He has done to die in my place and take the wrath of God I deserved upon Himself. I don’t obey Him to “earn” heaven. I can’t earn heaven. Only Jesus can earn heaven. Only He lived a perfect life that was totally pleasing to God. I obey Him because I am overflowing with love and gratitude to Him because of what He did for me.

If Jesus is my LORD and my God – He can ask me to do anything and I can only say with joy, “YES, LORD!”

  • If you do not have Jesus as the Lord of your life – or you have questions, please ask me!! I’m glad to talk with you about how you can know Jesus and have the eternal life He offers to you! Leave me a comment, please!

When Jesus is my Lord, He changes my heart, my desires, my priorities, my thoughts and my character. I DIE to my old sinful nature, it is crucified with Christ on the cross and I put on my new nature in Christ and live in the power of His Spirit. I am a new creation! Old things have passed away. Now I live for God.

If I enjoy something God clearly labels as sin or have no qualms with allowing that thing a place in my life – something is seriously wrong.  

If I can sit and wallow in wrongdoing of any type – and feel no shame and feel no urgency to repent and no grief at what I am doing to Jesus – I am spiritually dead and I do not know Him, or at the very best, I am in a spiritual coma. I need to immediately investigate whether I am saved. The solution is the same either way. I must admit my wrongdoing and turn from it to Jesus and yield my life to His Lordship.

Someone who belongs to Christ and is alive to Him will:

  • hunger for Him
  • thirst for God’s Word
  • desire to know God more
  • have spiritual appetites for God’s presence, prayer and God’s Word
  • long to live a righteous, holy life

Having a physical appetite is a sign of physical health and life. Dead people don’t get hungry for food. Having a spiritual appetite is a sign of spiritual health and life. Spiritually dead people have no desire for the things of God.

There is NO sin that can be welcome in my life if Christ is truly my Lord. (**Please see the list at the bottom of the post)

If I want to know Christ and abide in Him and experience His power in my life and be with Him in heaven – I must be willing to give up my sin! ALL of it!

This is called, Dying to Self .

Jesus is worthy of all of our devotion, love, obedience, worship, and submission.

We don’t come to Him just be be able to check our list “Oh, now I can go to heaven, I said a prayer and ‘asked Jesus into my heart’ and I can live however I want to.”

  • That is not Christianity – not by Jesus’ definition.

We come to Him because we know that we need Him and we love Him and nothing else matters but having Him as our Savior and Lord in this life. And when we come to Him, we come in awe, in humility, and in reckless abandonment – willing to give all that we are and all that we have to Him that we might be daily living sacrifices for His glory.  His glory and His will are all that we care about now.

WHAT DO I DO NOW?

If you realize you have been cherishing sin – you can turn away from it today and turn to Christ!  That is called repentance. We turn completely away from sin in disgust, agreeing with God that it is wrong, and turn fully to Jesus. We decide not to give sin any place in our lives anymore.

He can forgive your sin!

He died to pay for our sins so that He could provide a way for us to be right with God. Get on your face before God and weep over your sin!  Tell Him you agree that what you have done is wrong. Beg Him to forgive You. Claim the power of His death on the cross on your behalf – and surrender your life to Him. Let Him be in charge now. Give Him control of every part of your life. Hold nothing back.  Seek to know Him, to love Him and to live for Him alone from this point on!

Get rid of everything that is a stumbling block for you:

  • Delete all the phone numbers of any guys you may have been in contact with that were inappropriate.
  • Copy your husband on correspondence with other men as appropriate. (You may not be able to copy him on work emails, but you can on other things.)
  • Stop reading romantic novels and/or watching romantic movies if they create resentment and jealousy in your heart, even if they are rated G.
  • Get rid of social media if you feel depressed when you read people’s posts or you feel deprived when you see how other people portray their relationships.
  • Put Covenant Eyes or other software on your devices to keep yourself from having access to porn and inappropriate material if that is a temptation.
  • Stop responding to your old boyfriend or that guy from church when they instant message you on FB.
  • Completely stop flirting with any other man (or woman – if you struggle with same sex attraction) but your own husband.
  • Avoid private conversations or meetings with people who may be tempting.
  • Avoid being alone with other men and avoid even the appearance of evil.
  • Refuse to respond to or have contact with any man who acts inappropriately toward you.
  • Avoid threatening or seeking a separation without biblical grounds.
  • Avoid threatening divorce without biblical grounds.
  • If you realize you are daydreaming about another man or lusting after another man, stop. Recognize this is sin. Repent to the Lord. (If you have sinned against your husband, there are times you may need to repent to him, too, depending on the situation.) Turn your heart to the Lord and to your husband and invite God to empower you to take your thoughts captive for Christ.

The world says that freedom is the power to do whatever we want, even if it destroys us or other people.

God’s definition of freedom is that we have the power to live holy lives that please Him and we are free from the prison of sin!

WILL WE BE COMPLETELY PERFECT AFTER WE REPENT?

We won’t be totally sinless until we reach heaven’s gates. We still have access to our old sinful nature and can choose to sin as believers in Christ and we can stumble at times. Thankfully, we don’t ever have to sin, though, because God promises He will provide a way out from all temptation if we look to Him! If we stay filled up with the Spirit, we can walk in Jesus’ power over sin.

If Christ is our LORD – we will hate sin and do everything possible to avoid it and to guard our hearts from temptation. If we do stumble, we will immediately repent and turn back to Him and seek Him with all our hearts.

 

HEBREWS 10  – a very sober warning to us all to live in fear, awe and trembling before the God of heaven.

26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. 28 Anyone who rejected the law of Moses died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 29 How much more severely do you think someone deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified them, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace? 30 For we know him who said, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” and again, “The Lord will judge his people.”  31 It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

 

ROMANS 6 – We are no longer slaves to sin if we are in Christ Jesus!

 

RELATED:

What Is the Gospel? by www.gotquestions.org

How to Have a Relationship with Christ

How to Avoid Adultery/Immorality – 7 minute YouTube video

My Husband Doesn’t Speak My Love Language

Signs Your Husband Feels Disrespected and Unloved

What Is Respect in Marriage?

Healthy VS. Unhealthy Relationships

25 Ways to Be a Safe Place for Your Husband Emotionally

Influencing a Husband for Christ

How to Stay Filled with the Holy Spirit

Dying to Self

A Big Lightbulb Moment about True Contentment

8 Powerful Keys to Peace

 

A SHORT LIST OF POSSIBLE SIN (not an exhaustive list)

  • pride
  • idolatry (putting my love for other things/people/desires before God in my life – like my desire for a man, marriage, romance, beauty, children, popularity, fame, money, etc…)
  • any addictions (drugs, alcohol, food, anorexia, bulimia, gambling, social media, etc…)
  • lust/pornography
  • sexual immorality/homosexuality/fornication/adultery/bi-sexuality
  • stealing
  • lies
  • self-righteousness (thinking we are better than other people)
  • forgetting God
  • prayerlessness
  • cheating
  • bribery
  • a short temper
  • contempt, hatred
  • trying to control others
  • people pleasing
  • resentment, bitterness
  • unforgiveness
  • selfishness
  • greed
  • materialism
  • heresy/ungodly teachings
  • worldliness
  • gossip
  • complaining
  • contentiousness
  • apathy towards the Word of God, apathy towards the things of God
  • lack of love for God
  • lack of love for people
  • lack of concern for the poor, the abused, the mistreated, the sick, the imprisoned, the lost
  • and many other things I don’t have room to list here…
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