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10.2009 010

Responding to Our Children When They Disobey – SKIT

Some acted out examples of how to respond to our children in ways that model self-control, gentleness, love, patience, and respect while we teach, correct, and discipline them…

In Christ, it is possible to be a peaceful mom!

Merry Christmas! <3

A 4 minute video:

9 thoughts on “Responding to Our Children When They Disobey – SKIT

  1. Hi April,
    I love this skit. You demonstrated gentleness and firmness at the same time, which is such a precious and delicate combination. Only the Holy Spirit can teach us to act in this way. My son is just about to turn 2 and likes to do the opposite of what I ask him to do so I believe that this post will inspire me to direct him in a loving way.

  2. Hi April,
    I have to work and I have a two year old son. He actually just turned 2 this weekend. Not working is not an option for me at all. I really need to work to take care of my family.

    When I go to work, my son attends a daycare which I’m sure is very good. They are very calm, loving and committed to the children. When I drop my son off in the mornings, he hangs onto my legs, cries and tries to stop me from leaving. It’s really bad on Mondays and gets better every day during the week. By Fridays, he’s very calm about staying at the daycare.

    The owner of the daycare says that he has been getting into fights with the other kids – pushing them, hitting them, pulling their hair and taking toys away from them. Sometimes he even holds them by their necks and pulls them to the ground. It’s starting to worry me a lot and I need some guidance. They and I aren’t sure how to deal with this.

    My husband and I don’t hit him or abuse him in any way. We play happily with him for hours and take him out on fun outings on the weekends. I live close to my parents so he gets to spend lots of time with his grandparents as well. My husband is strict and my son obeys and respects him. I tend to be a soft doormat and he hits me sometimes.

    Please give me some guidance on how to deal with this kind of behaviour. I don’t want my son to be a bully.

    1. Nikki,

      Welcome to the reason why some people call it, “The Terrible Two’s.” It is kind of like adolescence in the sense that our children are breaking away and learning to be more independent and pushing boundaries and limits – but without the hormones and the adult sized bodies.

      Would it work better if your husband could drop him off for awhile? Do you think it is maybe harder for him to leave when you drop him off? How do you respond when he does that?

      Surely, if these daycare workers have been in daycare for very long, they have dealt with this issue many times? What do they do when he does this? Does he respond well to the discipline they use?

      Is he getting enough sleep?
      Is he on any medications?
      How is his diet?
      Has something else traumatic happened recently?
      Is he able to talk very well and to communicate verbally yet?

      What does your husband believe needs to be done?

      Let’s pray together for the Lord’s wisdom to come to light. After I know the answers to the other questions I have asked, I will share anything I can that may be helpful. What you are talking about is a pretty normal thing for two year olds, but I definitely understand your concern and desire for this to be handled well.

      Much love!

      1. Oh, and Nikki,

        Is there a specific trigger for these episodes?

        Is someone taking his toys?
        Is it when he is very hungry or exhausted?
        Has he been sick?
        Is it with multiple children or a particular child or two?

        1. Hi April, thanks for your concern and all of your responses. I will take a look at those resources.

          He’s very much a rough and tumble boy and is very active and adventurous. He sleeps well, eats well and is very strong and healthy. The daycare workers are professed Christians but I don’t know anything about their prayer lives.

          Everyone laughs off his behaviour and says that it’s normal for a 2 year old to hit others and fight for toys but he’s my only son and I want the best for him. I want him to raise him well and teach him the right things. It’s hard at this stage because he can’t talk to explain what triggers this type of aggressive behaviour. We are very fun and kind so he’s not learning aggression at home at all.

          I went to the daycare today to observe his behaviour for about 30 minutes before taking him home. The ladies are very sweet, kind and gentle when they reprimand him so he doesn’t take them seriously. Sometimes he will obey and behave well for 2 minutes and then start harrassing teh other kids again. I told them to raise their voices and use a sharper tone when they reprimand him. I need to do that as well when he misbehaves. I also tend to be too sweet and kind in my approach.

          My husband said that he will go to the daycare tomorrow for an hour to observe his behaviour and reprimand him firmly when he does something wrong. I also asked my husband to spend more time with him on weekends. We assured the workers at the daycare that we will work with them to resolve the problem and thanked them for bringing it to their attention.

          I said a long prayer for him tonight and will keep praying for him. I really want him to turn out well. I’m going to ask God for guidance in how to raise him.

          Sometimes with the pressures to run my household and maintain my job, I don’t give enough time to prayer. That’s clearly something that needs to change.

          Thanks again for your kind help and advice.

          Lots of love,

          1. Nikki,

            It is a normal thing at the age of 2. And you, your husband, and these workers will pray and seek the Lord and do what is necessary to intervene and your son will be okay. You are seeing the sinful nature coming out. We don’t have to teach our children to sin. They do that all on their own. I’ glad that your husband is so supportive and that he will help with daycare today and observe things. That is awesome. I pray for God’s wisdom for you and your husband and the workers. The key is just going to be to be consistent and firm and to let him know this is not acceptable behavior.

            Yes, God will absolutely give you the wisdom and guidance you need to raise him well. Continue to seek Him and look to Him. He has the wisdom we all need in every single situation.

            Much love!

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