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7 Keys to Finding Real Peace

CHECK OUT MY FIRST VIDEO SKIT on YOUTUBE called “Dishes with a Martyr”!

(It’s under 3 minutes. Let me know what you think!)


 

It is really easy to let our circumstances, problems, and disappointments in other people to rob us of the peace we can have in Jesus.

Some of the main ways I find peace are in things like:

1. Thinking about God’s character.

(For verse references about God’s character, please check the post at this link from www.gotquestions.com)

  • He is eternal.
  • He is completely good.
  • He is incapable of evil.
  • He is love.
  • He is truth.
  • He is holy.
  • He is just.
  • He is kind.
  • He hates sin.
  • He is righteous.
  • He exercises wrath against sin, He cannot ignore it.
  • He is omnipotent.
  • He is omniscient.
  • He is omnipresent.
  • He is Spirit.
  • He never changes.
  • He is One.
  • He is sovereign.
  • He is kind.
  • He is merciful,
  • He is gracious.
  • He alone is God, there is no other.

2. Praising God.

I want to praise Him out loud whenever possible – every day. Including singing praises at the top of my lungs to Him. There is so much power in our praises to God. Satan and demons hate to be around the praises of God’s people. They tend to flee at the sound. Our praises make our lives welcoming and cozy to the Lord and hostile toward the enemy. There are thousands of beautiful worship and praise songs we can access so easily today. I encourage you to make singing to God and making music in your heart to Him a big priority all throughout each day.

  • Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, Ps. 103:2
  • Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness! Ps. 115:1
  • Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness! Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals! Ps. 150:1-6
  • Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. James 5:13
  • Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. Heb. 13:15
  • Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, Eph. 5:19

3. Thinking specifically about His sovereignty.

When I meditate on the fact that my God is ultimately in control of the universe – even at the same time as we all have free will – I can have much peace because I know who He is and I know His heart and goals. I can know and acknowledge that God is in charge, not me, not my husband, not the president of our country, not the leader of any hostile nation, not nature, not random chance, and not Satan. What a joy to live in this blessed knowledge!

4. Resting in His love.

The Christian life is not really about trying harder and doing things in my power. It is all about resting in the love, provision, peace, and strength of Jesus and His work on my behalf. It is about allowing His Spirit’s power to work in and through me to accomplish His will and to give me the ability to walk in holiness. It is about allowing Him to restore my soul and about abiding in Him and leaning on Him in total dependence.

  • “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” Ps. 46:10
  • For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” But you were unwilling, Isa. 30:15
  • Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isa. 40:28-31
  • “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matt. 11:28-30
  • So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God,  for whoever has entered God’s rest has also rested from his works as God did from his. Heb. 4:9-10

5. Depending on the promises in His Word.

They are rock solid for those who belong to Jesus and who receive Him as both Savior and LORD of every area of their lives. He promises, for example, to use all things (good and bad) for our ultimate good and His ultimate glory (Rom. 8:28).

  • Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither… Ps. 1:1-3
  • But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matt. 6:33
  • “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16
  • but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. John 4:14
  • And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28
  • And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6
  • And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:19
  • By which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. 2 Pet. 1:4

6. Counting trials as joy.

I can remember that God purposes to use hardships to refine, prune, and strengthen those who belong to Jesus. I can look for the beautiful spiritual treasures and gems God wants to show me in those dark caves of trials. Those are the times I grow the most. I want to be able to get every single treasure out of every trial I experience.

  • Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are … 2 Cor. 1:3-4
  • do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:6-7
  • Count it all joy, my brothers,[b] when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

7. Trusting God to provide for me what ultimately is best.

It can seem really scary at first to trust God. But the more I get to know God and His goodness, the more I realize that the best place to be is in the center of His will. The scariest place to be is trusting anyone or anything but Him.

  • Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Ps. 34:8
  • And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. Ps. 9-10
  • Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Prov. 3:5-6

Real peace in my marriage and in my home is not about my circumstances. Real peace comes from having the Prince of Peace on the throne of my heart every moment.

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied with Him.

~John Piper

Sin is what you do when your heart is not satisfied with God.

~John Piper

One of the greatest keys to me living in true peace is for me to find all of my satisfaction and contentment in the Lord.

 

22 thoughts on “7 Keys to Finding Real Peace

  1. This really encourages me! Dwelling on the sovereignty of God, and resting in his love are what I feel like speak the loudest to me right now! And that last quote by Piper… “sin is what we do when we are not satisfied in God.” WOW. Profound.

    1. ByGrace,

      So glad this was a blessing. Yes, as we focus on God and set our eyes and hearts on Him, His character, His goodness, His love and sovereignty, it really puts everything else into proper perspective. <3

  2. Wonderful, comforting truth. Thank you, April. And I love your “Dishes with a martyr” skit! Yikes – I was there for some sad, depressing years…glad to be free now!

  3. Hi April,

    I need to go back and reread this post again and again. This is a very hard time of year for me. My birthday is in a couple days, and then Christmas. Ever since I was a child I was told how I ruined Christmas by being born. This year my sister decided to add Thanksgiving to my list of offenses. My husband’s family is negative and chaotic at Christmas.

    Selfishly, because my birthday is almost never celebrated, I selfishly feel unworthy around now. And I enjoy trying to make Christmas special for others, but it is seldom reciprocated in any way. I feel this is because I don’t matter much.

    My logical part reminds me I need to stop focusing on myself, stop looking for happiness in my family, and focus on Jesus. My selfish heart feels sad quite often. This is a timely post for me. Thank you.

    1. Becca,

      My precious sister!!

      Both of my kids were born near Christmas. I can never fathom telling them they “ruined” Christmas. For any family member to tell you that is extremely hateful and abusive.

      Even if your family members believe these awful lies, you are free not to receive them any more. Not to build your identity on these insults that are completely ridiculous. A baby can’t ruin Christmas by being born. That was a very wrong attitude on the part of your sister, if she is the one who was saying that. Every word from her mouth that you have shared with me has been hateful, petty, toxic, bitter, destructive, and emotionally abusive.

      You are a precious baby. Of infinite worth in the sight of God. You were created in His very image. You are a gift. To your family, if they will see that. To the world. To God. To your husband. You are a blessing.

      You belong to Jesus now. And you are a grown adult. So you get to decide not to receive or believe those terrible things your sister or family say to you now. They need Jesus and His healing. The hateful attitudes they have are not about you. That is what they would have done to any baby born into that family. It is not your fault. You did nothing wrong by being born. And you did nothing wrong by being beautiful. Which you are. And it seemed your sister was jealous and controlling and resentful and tried to destroy you verbally. She allowed Satan and her flesh to take over her mouth and let him use her mouth to attack you.

      1. Becca,

        But you don’t need to listen to Satan’s lies anymore. You can reject them and see them for what they are. Attempts to rob you of so many blessings God has given to you. Attempts to destroy you and your joy and faith.

        Your sister and family are not the real enemy. Your real enemy is spiritual. They are simply held captive in his snare. Once Jesus sets them free, they will repent of the horrible things they have said and done. I pray God will reach them and they will turn to Him and be healed.

        In the meantime, you get to choose what you think now. You get to choose who determines your worth. Whether it is a jealous sister who is acting entirely in the flesh and sinful nature, or whether it is God’s Word about you and your value.

        I vote to reject your sister’s immature, abusive, hateful, completely inappropriate and untrue words. I vote to receive God’s Words and to focus on Jesus and your identity in Him.

        Who cares what any other sinful human says or thinks? You will not be judged by any of them. Jesus is the Judge. his Word is the only one that matters.

        I pray God will give you new eyes to see your family from his perspective and to stop giving Satan your ear and power in your life to attack you through your family. And to receive His healing.

    2. Becca,

      I vote to do several new things this year.

      1. Enjoy your birthday. You have as much value and worth as everyone else on the planet. You are a real person. Who is special to God. Someone for whom Jesus died. Someone dearly loved by the Lord and by your husband and children. Surround yourself with people who will enjoy celebrating your birthday with you this year. Give yourself permission to celebrate the life God has given you as a very good gift. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

      2. Enjoy Christmas. Find some people who will enjoy celebrating Christmas with you. Give yourself permission to relax and savor this time of year.

      If you need some resources, please search my blog for:

      – security
      – identity
      – contentment
      – what does God say about me?
      – identifying the lies we have embraced

      And, if you need help facing toxic family members, check out http://www.leslievernick.com and her free resources.

      You can absolutely receive and experience the power and healing of Christ and His peace and joy. Even on your birthday. Even on Christmas. There is now no condemnation for you because you are in Christ. You are more than a conqueror through Him who loves you. He is rejoicing over you with singing. He has erected His banner of love and victory over your life. Rejoice in Him and in all that He has done for you and the new life and new creation you have in Him.

      Much love and a huge hug!

      1. April, thank you! My husband and I had an unhappy discussion about all of this today. I think he’s really trying to help me but he just doesn’t know what to say. Plus he gets upset and starts yelling. Even if he is mad at my family, he yells at me! I try to understand he’s frustrated but I still hate being yelled at. He’s really trying not to do it as much, which I appreciate.

        I think you said a lot of what he was trying to say. For instance, “So you get to decide not to receive or believe those terrible things your sister or family say to you now.” We’ve been working on this (my husband trying to help me) but I struggle with it a lot. He says it’s because I’m stubborn.

        I really appreciate your reply. I will be reading this post over several times. I have a lot of growing to do, and I appreciate your friendship and your guidance. And your patience! I think my husband really wants tohelp me, but he gets so frustrated and our communication breaks down. Having your input really helps, and helps me understand some of what I think my husband wants to say.

        Ironically, friends invited us over in a couple days, which happens to be my birthday. They don’t know that. I think I might accept, and ask my family not to mention it to them (cause I’d really rather just go and have fun without the birthday baggage. 😊) But we’d be with friends and I’d be having fun. And they’re Christians and it would be a nice time without the judgement! And our kids are friends too, so we’d all be there having a good time!

        Thanks for the hug! Love Becca

        1. Becca,

          The frustration your husband has is that he wants you to be free from this old snare and trap of your family’s destructive thinking. He knows you can be free. He knows you can enjoy your life, your birthday, and Christmas. It is really painful to watch someone we love believe toxic lies and refuse to receive the truth. Sometimes, people think if they increase the volume, they can make someone else understand. Of course, that doesn’t work.

          This old way of thinking is all you have ever known. So it can seem like you don’t have a choice, like you have to listen to what your family said. BUT – I’m so glad that is not true! You can listen to God’s Word and reject sinful human wisdom. You can reject Satan’s attacks on you that he has been blasting you with since you were little.

          Yes, it will feel weird to let go of the toxic old poison. But it will be awesome!

          You have every right and responsibility as a child of God to rejoice and be thankful for your life and to celebrate the life God has given you. Being thankful for all things is a command for believers. Sulking, being depressed, being upset, hating yourself, hating your birthday, feeling like you are not a real person – those are not commands. In fact, they are spiritual poison to you and to those around you.

          I am so glad that you are now a grown adult and a believer in Christ and that no one has the right to hold you back, to force you to think in destructive ways, and hold you in chains.

          I’m so glad the freedom, peace, and joy that is available for all believers in Christ is completely and totally available to you, too.

          It is okay to receive all the good things He has for you. That is godly stewardship. It would be insane not to receive all of the good gifts He has for you. That wouldn’t accomplish anything productive, at all.

          Have fun with your friends!

          Much love!
          April

    3. Dear Becca,
      Your post is like a lightning bolt to me. My daughter and my son are born either side of Christmas, and even though I’ve never, ever said they ruined Christmas, I am guilty of complaining about how busy this time of year is for our family, and that it would have been nicer/easier/better to have their birthdays another time. Had I not read your comment I would never have realised the pain my words can cause/have caused. I love my children very much, and will never say anything negative about their birthday dates. Any pain I may I have caused them is completely unintentional. I’m sure that it is the same for your family.
      Jessi

      1. Jessi,

        Thanks for reaching out to Becca – and for thinking about your words about your children’s birthdays. Both our son and daughter have birthdays within 12 days of Christmas, too. I always worried they would hate having birthdays so close to Christmas, but they both love it. I’m thankful for that!

        I wish that everyone had families where hurtful words were unintentional. Many times that is true. Sadly, in some families, things are quite emotionally abusive. 🙁

        Much love!

        And happy birthday to your son and daughter!

      2. Jessi,

        I’m glad if my comment helped you. One of my good friends recently had a baby two days after Christmas. Knowing my situation, she asked me about it, and I advised her to just try to make her child’s birthday just as special as the other children (for example, my sister had a lot of parties, but for me it was “oh sorry – it’s too close to Christmas”).

        I also told my friend to make sure she wraps her child’s gifts in birthday paper! It sounds like such a little thing, but always getting all of your birthday gifts in Christmas paper can make you feel like an afterthought. (Although nowadays, as a joke, I will sometimes wrap a friends birthday gift – if the friend is close and knows my story – in Christmas paper, even if their birthday is in July. We usually have a good laugh over the silliness, and they are happy to share in the goofiness that makes me feel a little better.)

        Also, my aunts would give my sister an outfit – like jeans and a sweater – for Christmas. Often I’d get the jeans for my birthday and the sweater for Christmas. That makes me sound like I’m ungrateful, and I guess partly I was, but it was also a little hurtful.

        Thanks for your reply, and I hope my birthday “tips” help! Happy Birthday to your kiddos!

          1. Our daughter’s birthday is December 28th. There were so many years when we tried to have friends over for a party on that day, but no one could come. She was heartbroken! And so was I. So for a few years, I told her we should have her party in November or January. So we did the second Saturday of November a few times. We have also done the first week in January a few times.

            This year, she wanted to have her party ON her birthday – and she has about 6 friends who think they can come! HOORAY!!!! We are so excited!

            1. That’s great! I hope it all works out and she has a wonderful day!!

              By the way, we did go to our friends house on my birthday. They had found out, but out of respect for my feelings no big deal was made (baby steps!) and we had a great time! We had dinner, fellowship, played a game, and it was amazing! My husband and I grew up in non-Christian homes, and we crave fellowship, especially at this time of year. So although my bday wasn’t being celebrated, it was so much fun and the best bday I ever had.

              My husband and sons gave me small gifts – wrapped in birthday paper! 😊 – and it was a very good day for me, praise God.

        1. Dear Becca,

          Your birthday “tips” have forever changed the way I will discuss the timing of my children’s birthdays. I know I’ll think of you often over the years. Thank you.

          It’s a real shame your relatives were so stingy over celebrating and acknowledging your birthday. I hope your husband and children are able to help you forge new positive memories. If not yet, then force them to till they get the hang of it. 😊

          Love Jessi. xx.

          1. Hi Jessi!

            I’m glad my tips were helpful. You’re a good mama. 😊

            For years, I wouldn’t let my husband or kids do anything for my birthday. I just felt I wasn’t worth it. I’m learning to change that way of thinking. To be completely honest, my husband is not the greatest gift giver, or birthday planner, etc. I used to just assume this was because I wasn’t worth it. But now I try to be thankful for whatever he does attempt to do. I’m learning to appreciate the effort, even if it’s not anything close to what I would have done. 😊😊

    4. Hi Becca,
      My heart breaks for your situation. I pray that you will follow April’s advice. Please consider spending at least an hour a day reading the Bible and making notes of verses that strike you. You need to build your identity and self-worth on Christ and his Word.

      Also, please consider praying foundational deliverance prayers every day. Praying in this way will release God’s power to heal you in ways you can’t even begin to imagine now.

      http://www.prayersfire.com/2010/06/12/hour-of-power-9-prayer-points-foundational-deliverance/

      Lots of love,
      Nikki

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