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25 thoughts on ““I Felt My Husband Was Neglecting Me” – a Guest Post

  1. “I realized that for years it had been all about me.” A revelation that most of us need to receive and repent. Thanks for this wonderful example of what can happen when God is given priority in life and marriage. <

  2. Very beautiful and encouraging post ! I love your determination : I have committed to Him.. no matter what.
    I praise the Lord for his faithfulness to us.

  3. Good stuff April! I think I’m getting it. Maybe in the counseling session today, I should confess that I’ve been doing these things and have stirred up unnecessary conflict in our marriage, ask forgiveness & continue on….?
    It would allow me to share my feelings of what I wanted (or thought it should be), but at the same time letting go….?

    1. Rose,

      🙂 Sometimes these kinds of questions can help us examine our hidden motives – motives we don’t always see in ourselves. I am sure God will direct you about what He wants you to focus on in prayer and in your marriage, as well as in your walk with Him and the counseling session today.

      Makes me smile to hear that some things may be clicking for you, my beautiful sister. That is awesome!

      Some other posts that may be a blessing:

      Expectations – The Respect Dare Day 1
      Ways Husbands Lead That Wives Don’t Always Recognize
      Want My Husband to Be a Better Leader

      Let me know how things go! I am so thankful you want to hear God’s voice and that you are open to anything He wants to share with you. As you work on your own walk with Christ, God absolutely can and will work on your husband. And you will be out of God’s way so that your husband can most hear God’s voice himself. 🙂

      1. Hi April! Thank you for asking.
        The counseling session went great, thank you Jesus. We chose the pastor/counselor who had helped us prepare to marry, therefore feeling at ease & able to reminisce before we shared that we have too much conflict. I took responsibility for my part in it and that I wanted to let go of trying to control his spiritual journey. (what a relief, thank you), as well as trying to control many other things too. We were able to communicate more openly about other issues, having the counselor there, and came up with a plan to meet regularly for a few weeks as we go through an Enrichment program. I’m very thankful that my husband is more than willing to participate as he wants a great marriage too. Look forward to seeing what God does through all of this. Thank you for all that you do, April. Look forward to reading the other posts you suggested.

  4. Thank you for sharing! My husband also enjoys having time (every Tuesday evening!) to kick back and watch a show or a movie just the two of us with a snack. We did this last week for the first time in a while and we both really enjoyed it. It was nice to connect that way and I realized that is one way he enjoys spending time together. He’s not a “cuddler touchy feely guy” it’s just not really in his personality but I’m starting to realize that just enjoying each other’s company is how he “connects” with me emotionally. He even expressed that he is excited to spend that time together again this coming week. It’s nice because we were very “emotionally disconnected” for a few months as a result of my disrespect.

    1. Ashley KB,

      Wow! How awesome that your husband is excited to spend time with you like that and that he even communicated that to you! 🙂 Such a blessing. I love hearing about what God is doing in your heart and in your marriage. Thanks for sharing, sweet sister!

      1. Hehe yes, it’s so funny because I used to be “blinded” and think he never communicated anything to me, but now I realize I believed that because he didn’t communicate things the way *I* thought was sufficient. How self-centered to think *my* way was the only way! Amen, this blog is being used to greatly in my walk with God too, it’s amazing to read the different testimonies and situations all of us women are facing, though on the same journey to living for Christ & learning respect & submission. It’s really edifying! God bless you!

        1. Ashley KB,

          Aw! So precious. God is very good. I’m so grateful we can all share together and encourage each other and seek Christ together like this. 🙂

  5. “Maybe some husbands won’t respond the way mine did but I have to say God has shown me how important it is to accept my husband for who he is and let him be that person without pressure from me.”

    AMEN!!!! That is confirmation for me!!!! TY JESUS! He has been showing me the *exact* same thing this past week!!!!!! 🙂

    Love to all,
    Amanda

    1. Amanda, having followed you on your journey some, I almost had tears when I read your post that God has been teaching you this same thing! Praise God for what He is doing in your life! For me, it has become so freeing just being able to accept my husband for who he is and stop trying to turn him into the person I “thought” he should be. God showed me that my husband didn’t need to be anyone else, He has brought us together in marriage to love each other just the way we are.

      So many times I have wondered why my husband is like he is, and fret about how he needs to change, and God reminds me he is like he is because he is a sinner who needs to be loved, just like ME. God has loved me through all my faults, my mistakes, forgives me and is much more patient with me than I ever deserve. He has shown me how He has done this for me, and I need to extend this same kind of love to my husband. God will look after the changes if He sees fit to make them, and all I need to do is trust and obey Him. Quite often the Lord has revealed to me that the change that needs to be made is in ME. Very humbling.

      1. Melanie,
        WOW!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!!! I have full body chills as I read your comment and I just feel the joy of the Lord in my heart bubbling up!!!! What confirmation he has given me in what you have just said!! THANK YOU SISTER!

        He has shown me just the same things as He has shown you—— and I am so blessed to share that with you! The Lord’s love is not like our human love—- human love says to withdraw if someone fails you—– but God does not get offended at our failures—- His mercy and Grace are abundant! And the Lord delights in those who put their hope in His mercy!!!!!!!

        The Lord has been truly opening my eyes to this—– And it is SO freeing! I was so focused on what I wanted! All because I was offended by his failures—— it is a vicious cycle if we do not allow the Lord to work in our own hearts to see that our husbands are loved–especially if they are in Christ—–just as we are loved and in the Lord we are in unity–and on that ground we need to stand together! I can’t believe I forgot this simple truth—-accept him as he is! There is no other way! Thank you Jesus!!!!

        God Bless You Melanie!

        Love,
        Amanda

        1. Amen, Sister! I don’t know about you but I feel like dancing!!! I feel so blessed that my words give you confirmation from the Lord.

          I have to share a song that has been in my head all day… I heard it for the first time yesterday it’s called Song that the Angels Can’t Sing by Casting Crowns… when I heard it all I could think of is THIS is the song that describes how free I feel in the Lord in His revealing of the Truth to me! Anyways if you haven’t heard it have a listen, for me it puts into words a feeling that I can’t even describe. And I just want to dance with joy! God bless you too, I am so filled with joy to hear what God is doing!

          1. Melanie, I love this song so much!! The entire album is wonderful! I am going to visit a friend in Georgia in a few weeks and we are going to see Casting Crowns when I’m there. I will be thinking of you as I praise The Lord while dancing!!
            Much Love, Carolyn

            1. Carolyn that is awesome what a wonderful experience to be able to worship with them live! Enjoy!

        2. Amanda and Melanie,

          What a beautiful thing to get to share these triumphs and spiritual treasures with each other and so many sisters (and brothers) here. Such a blessing to grow together and to share each other’s joy in Christ!

        3. Amanda, I’m so happy to see that you are in such a place of growth and revelation from The Lord! It is so beautiful to read! I, to, am enjoying The Song the Angels Can’t Sing recently and it is such a joyful song!!
          I was hoping to get some encouragement from you since in the past we had discussed the a few similarities in our marriage situations. My husband is back to telling me we shouldn’t be together and there’s no point in me having faith that all will be fine … All because I booked tickets for myself for a long weekend with a girlfriend. I’m so sad. I knew this would happen, it’s part of the pattern and disorder, but I’m still so sad. I feel that these behaviors are about me because theyre directed at me but I know they’re not. Tonight after reading this message I feel like such a failure. I think that booking the tickets was a rebellious act because he neglects me so often and I just felt I needed to do something for myself. I’m so sad right now. I just dont know what to do with myself or my choices.
          Any thoughts word be much appreciated.
          Carolyn

  6. I too am married to a hunter. In our early years I would occasionally go out and be in a stand whIle he hunted. This is good to do occasionally because it gives you a glimpse of why this is your man’s passion, to see a deer silently materialize in the woods before you is amazing. I have also helped my husband go back and track a deer he has harvested, and gained an incredible amount of respect for seeing him in his “element.” It is amazing to see a man take down a huge animal and then drag it to harvest the meat, using tools such as a gun and a knife. Other men highly admire a man with the masculine skills of hunting and other woodsman abilities.

    Nowadays, much of his hunting ground has been sold, but we will go to the gun range together. It is so meaningful for my husband to have a companion for these activities he so enjoys. He does hunt with other friends (and it is bitterly cold at 4:00 am so my participation has its limits), but if he didn’t have me willing and available to do these things with him, he would miss out on a lot. It’s not as much fun to go by yourself. The point is to look for ways you can be a buddy to your husband as well as a wife. Companionship may be even more important than sex.

    1. Marked wife, loved your comment! You summed it up so well! I have a lot of respect for my husbands skills and wisdom, although in the last few months I needed God’s reminder of exactly how important this is. I have braved many a cold morning at 3 am, 4 am, and the bonding time that this gives us is so valuable. My husband appreciates that I would get out of my comfort zone (and comfy warm bed!) to be a part of his world with him. Many wives may laugh that I got a rifle for Valentine’s Day (true story!) … I appreciated it so much that my husband valued me being in this part of his life so much that he bought it as a gift for me knowing I wanted to learn to shoot and he wanted to show me I was included in this part of his world. That’s a real gift of love, kind of “different”, but REAL. The last couple years I had become so consumed and busy in other areas of our lives i forgot to look at it this way, and I let too many things take priority over this bonding, and we greatly suffered the consequences. I agree companionship definitely may even be more important than sex in a marriage. It was the loss of companionship that almost destroyed us. I thank God every day for revealing this to me before it was too late for us. I don’t worry any more about what my husband needs to change for our marriage, I have given that to God and His freedom and peace in that decision is more than enough for me! P.S. We have a double header planned for Saturday, duck and goose in the morning, bow hunting for deer in the evening… he applied for time off this weekend (I didn’t ask him to) and he is spending it hunting with ME… all I can say is God, You are awesome!

  7. Ooh! Also these two!

    My Demon

    How Satan Wants to Destroy Your Marriage through Your Thought Life

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