Worthyoflove shares some insights God has been showing her:
Yes, there is hope. And I am finding that God is intervening more and more quickly when I start to put my husband up as an idol again, or anything else.
I am learning first hand now that God will NOT allow any competition in our hearts. It is practically a guarantee that if I begin to idolize my husband, our marriage, people pleasing, control, or self again, then my husband will immediately withdraw from me and I am right back to where I started – alone, upset, and feeling pretty bad. And as much as I want to change, want my husband to change, want our marriage to be “good” – I am seeing that I can do nothing. I am powerless without GOD working in me to WILL AND TO DO of His good pleasure!!!!
Most importantly, I am seeing now for the first time, with the eyes of my heart, that this journey is really not about MY MARRIAGE OR HUSBAND at ALL! It is about God changing me and my heart to worship God and to Obey Him and please Him!!!!
I admit, when I first found your site and God opened my eyes and I began to really trust God and saw Him working in me, it took a few months, but my true motives were exposed when things did not really pan out as I would have liked – and I was immediately devastated.
But it is coming down to THIS:
- I can either Trust God completely, letting go of all control, my own ways, all my desires for a good marriage, etc….I can trust God to deal with my husband and work in Him, and totally trust God for the outcome, whether my husband ever truly changes or not, whether he one day decides to leave, or whether he ever does anything I desire or not..I have to decide, Will I trust God with everything?
- I can continue to try to make things happen how I want, only losing more and more of my intimacy with my husband, and push him so far away that only a miracle could save the relationship, if at all. And not only that, I will be far from God, sinning, living in the flesh, and miserable!
Hmmmm….I think the choice is CLEAR!:)
I will TRUST IN THE LORD AND LEAN NOT ON MY OWN UNDERSTANDING! (Prov. 3:3-5)
I pray that God opens the eyes of all of our hearts, that we may see that HE ALONE IS WORTHY!!! And that we may TRUST IN HIM with all of our hearts! In the Name of Jesus! Amen
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