From a sister in Christ:
I am a young wife. Only just turned 29. Its been 4 years since I became born again. I am still learning this. Yes, I have dug through the Bible front to back already and am very knowledgeable in His Word even for my youth in the faith.
I am the wife that – when my husband scolds me – I retaliate with anger from the hurt. My husband has anger issues and he tends to say the meanest things for the littlest reasons. But recently, I come to realize while listening to a sermon online about the sin of the tongue – that even though I am saved, I do serve God, and preach His Word to other women, etc, etc… if I don’t learn self-control and to allow the Holy Spirit to tame my tongue, my religion is meaningless.
I finally just prayed out loud…
“Jesus, take over my tongue. My anger and bitterness. I want to be like You when they was spitting, mocking and cursing You – who are blameless. You held Your peace, you did not sin! Your eyes were upon God only. From here on out, Satan will no longer win, he can no longer take over my tongue. From here on out, the blood of Jesus has washed my tongue clean and all rights now goes to the Holy Spirit of God!!!! I don’t want to be like this anymore, I don’t want to be weak and selfish anymore. I want my eyes on the cross, especially through trials and suffering. Be gone Satan!!! In the name of Jesus of Nazareth! You will no longer toy with my marriage, my heart and especially my tongue. I will fight with the Word of God. For God said if we do not tame our tongue, then our religion is meaningless. And my religion will not be meaningless!! It will stand for Christ alone.”
After that prayer out loud in my car – it was like this complete peace – this renewing of my mind. I just didn’t feel any bitterness or easily angered/hurt. Of course Satan quickly tested me out. I was napping after 12 hours of work, and my husband woke me up yelling! He was upset about something I didn’t do. He knew I just got home and been working overtime, but he was angry again…. and guess what? I felt nothing???!!! And when I say nothing…
I felt peace and no retaliation.
Before I would have yelled back and said, “What is your problem? Leave me alone, you bi-polar freak! I just got home, I need to sleep. Crazy?!” But this time I just laid there, let him yell and throw tantrums saying mean things blah, blah, blah. And after he was done and walked away, I went right back to sleep. And now I still feel nothing. Before I would be holding a grudge and wishing he would just disappear.
He gave his life to Christ recently, too, after many prayers for him. He repented and started reading Bible. But he has demons that he has yet to fully deal with and every now and then he snaps. He has changed a lot by the grace of God. I notice he snaps usually when his eyes are off Christ. He is a babe in Christ so I don’t hold it against him. I feel so free! I feel like I am no longer bound by the handcuffs of: anger, bitterness, grudge-holding, and hatred toward my husband’s unloving ways toward me anymore.
It’s like when I recognized it, repented, and prayed that out loud…it was like Jesus got the keys and took off the handcuffs!!!!!!!
I am crying as I type this! Now I’m washing clothes, spending time with kids, about to open my Bible right now and meditate on all the verses about self-control and taming our tongues for God’s glory. And I feel happy even though an hour ago I just got scolded and mocked by my husband for something I didn’t do.
I am no longer controlled by my circumstances, instead I am now controlled by the Holy Spirit of God as it SHOULD BE. I just needed to allow Him to guide me!! My husband is a good husband, works hard, and treats our daughters like princesses. His demons just take hold of him at times and I pray for his full deliverance!!! He quit smoking, drinking, and partying all for our family. He works and serves in church. But this one thing he struggles with.
I have faith that – like God showed me -He will do the same for my husband one day.
God showed me my errors, and then He delivered me from it. All wives – it’s SO freeing!!! Mentally, spiritually, everything! I ask you to please try it and allow God to take over. Fight for righteousness, fight for peace!!!! Don’t let the devil win your tongue, your heart. He has won TOO many times already in the past, starting today fight back and say, “NO!!!! The Word of God says this. I will do as God says. Be gone Satan!” Fight the real enemy here!!!!! Not your husband. Satan is the real enemy. God is so good, so all knowing. Oh Lord, forgive me for being naive, for not allowing You to take over my tongue a long time ago! Forgive me and give me grace to continue on!!!
To all the women who feel that its hopeless (from Peacefulwife – if you have severe issues in your marriage, please seek experienced, appropriate, godly help!) with the she-said-he-said “I don’t like the way he did this, he doesn’t like the way I did this,” kind of stuff – always butting heads and putting each other down for it stuff. There is hope, but first thing you gotta do is give your mind, body, and tongue over to God and don’t let Satan toy with it anymore. Once you do, He will change you. The self-control will be so powerful it will be like you don’t even understand yourself what is going on within you. But you know it’s gotta be God…!!!!! That is what happens when you let God take the wheel. Women, the retaliation will be gone. You know why? Because your self-worth will be found in the cross and NOT your husband’s words or actions towards you anymore. You become a person who feels love and peace when others bash at you instead. Like Jesus said on the cross, ”Father forgive them, for they know not what they are doing.” His heart will become yours as well. (tears)
God can give us wisdom about when to speak and when to remain silent. We need His Spirit desperately in these difficult situations!