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Does Your Husband Pray with You? – A Poll



I would love for you to answer these questions so that I can get a better gauge of what is going on in the marriages of my readers so that I can better decide how to approach this topic in a future post. You are also welcome to leave comments and concerns about this topic here. I may share your comments in a future post or in a book anonymously. So if you don’t want me to share what you say, please make a note of that!


If you have any insights into why Christian husbands sometimes don’t pray with their wives or don’t want to pray with their wives, or what wives could do that would make husbands feel more comfortable to pray with them, we’d love to hear your ideas. I may share your comments in a future post or a book anonymously. If you don’t want me to share what you write, please let me know!

Husbands are welcome to answer these questions, as well (as if they are answering for their wives). 🙂


Much love to each of you!


44 thoughts on “Does Your Husband Pray with You? – A Poll

  1. What a great topic! I have struggled with this many times in my past, now I’ve learned to let go of my husband’s spiritual walk and to go to God for my needs.

  2. No he doesn’t. He said last night that prayer is for God and not for us. When I suggested to him that it was strengthening to our marriage he was silent. I have also learned to let go of his spiritual walk. I continue to pray for him and his relationship with Christ.

  3. I also love that you are covering this topic. My husband and I are on totally different pages. He says he believes in God, and that he prays in private. He has went to church with me and our girls a couple of times, but says that he doesn’t understand what the pastor is saying, so he doesn’t enjoy going. I struggled with this for awhile, but have now come to the realization that the Holy Spirit has yet to work in his heart. So now instead of getting upset I pray about it.

  4. If I ask him he will pray. We’ve only prayed on specific occasions. Ex: before my tonsillectomy or other health issues. And I’ll lead the prayer. I wish we could have regular prayer time together without my prompting (I feel I’d be nagging if I continually remind him) We’ve taken marriage classes which talked about praying together. But I admit it feels awkward. I continue to pray for his spiritual walk.

  5. We don’t pray together regularly. Have done it a handful of times in 37 years. I’ve asked and he said his prayers are intimate with God only. Doesn’t think we need to pray. I keep praying for him to take spiritual leadership in this area. He is a strong Christian and I’m thankful for that.

  6. I used to long for my husband to initiate prayer with me. Looking back, I think I saw it as an indicator of his walk with the Lord and also how much he loved me.

    Now, I love my alone time with the Lord and don’t feel any need to pray aloud with others. For my personality, I actually don’t really enjoy praying aloud. I love to pray for others just not with them. It’s less distracting.

    1. I think that men who are not as articulate as women are intimidated by praying out loud. I am touched more by unexpectedly seeing my husband on his knees praying privately than I am by our experiences of praying together. Somehow it feels more intercessory to me.

      1. i agree with you! it’s even more wonderful when I have found out that my husband has spent time alone praying to God. Because then I know it was because he really wanted to do it. Not just because I was doing it.

      2. Marked Wife,
        What a sweet image you created in my mind. Thank you for sharing that thought.

  7. This is such a wonderful topic, thank you for covering it.

    I believe many woman are realizing we are in seriius need to be in intersesory prayer for our husbands and their walks with the Lord. I also like many others am learning not to depend on my husband for me to deal with my problems. I have permissions from my husband to have a mentor or two to counsel with about such things so my husband can focus on life with me and our kids. This has been so healthy for both of us. I am able to spill my guts to a good friend and at then with my husband be there for him and build I our life together with everything we have going on.

    I used to take it as a offense that he didnt have time for me to dump on him but he explained to me that as the head of the head of the house with all that he has to think about mentally it was best for me to go to a friend and him and i deal with family life. Since reading For Woman Only this makes such complete sense and I love my husband for sharing that insight and giving me permission to talk to a mentor about anything i need to. Now don’t get me wrong if my husband and i have something to talk through we do but after i talk yo my friend and get my emotions straight. I highly recommend any woman reading the book I mentioned. It’s such an eye opener and it will help you understand a lot about the way our wonderful men are and how we can actually be a blessing to them as wives.

  8. Reading some of these comments I must say I have been in all these phases in my 24yrs of marriage. I have nagged for prayer together, given up when it didn’t happen, learnt to be content in Christ alone….and then God answered my prayers with my husband surrendering his life fully to the Lord about 4 years ago and taking up the reigns in out home…that I always wanted I was not prepared for. I had been the spiritual “head” for so long and now I had to step aside and let him lead myself and 4 teens….hard stuff, but wouldn’t turn back the time for anything.

    1. Wendy-hearing that other people have been where I am now helps so much! Thanks for sharing!!

  9. Reading the responses to these questions really made me feel like I’m not alone. It’s so easy to think that everyone else has a mega-spiritual husband and mine’s not measuring up.
    I’m looking forward to your blogs based on these responses. Prayer is definitely a topic of interest for me. 🙂

  10. Our first date was him driving me to a lookout over our city and praying for the city. We did that quite a bit. We actually met the night of a prayer meeting. Prayer used to be so important to us. He only says amen to my prayers now. If I ask him to pray for me regarding a health problem it’s like getting blood out of a stone. I just see myself as the spiritual prayer warrior for our family now. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing, but i sometimes sense that my husband is grateful and I can see that God hasn’t abandoned us or my husband.

  11. Unfortunately, the answer for me is no.

    Although my husband professes to be a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, he has been swept up in a Christian cult, which peaches a different gospel.

    Since we do not agree on doctrines or practices, we do not pray together

    1. Hi there I pray the Lord will lead him back to the true Gospel. Jesus is the only way. Blessings to you ♥

  12. I’m a husband. Haven’t prayed with my wife in years. Why? I can’t speak for other men, but there’s most likely some things that men (who do want to pray with their wives but don’t) experience.

    These could include:
    1) Stress and lack of time from his job or her job or even family or even ministry. But truthfully I don’t count this as a valid excuse. With enough discipline and focus from both parties surely 10-30 minutes of prayer daily or even several times a week together can be accomplished. It may be early in the morning or late at night or during lunch but it can surely be done. If one of them do travel for work they can pray on the phone for a few minutes and text/email prayer requests.

    2) Given that the man has the desire to pray and grow together spiritually, but the woman does not want to, spiritual laziness on her part could be an issue; and that laziness probably carries over into other areas like their intimate life, how bad of a mother she is, and how she (or the husband) love the world and flesh and sin more than God.

    3) She holds something against him in the past and has not yet forgiven him for that, which is really a form of

    4) Revenge. She is doing that (refusing to grow spiritually and pray with him) out of vengeance or spite. Woe unto the wife or husband who treats their spouse like an enemy because God considers them as one and when you think you are righteously punishing your husband or wife for something you are really hurting yourself. When you get married “you” are not “you” anymore. “You” are “You and her/him”. “You” have become the single unit of “us”; you are only hurting yourself. The nose really is cutting itself off to spite the face. God might even agree that the husband or wife deserved punishment of some sort for something; but the spouse is not the one to be making that decision or anything else or meting out that punishment in God’s place. “Am I in the place of God?” (Genesis 50: 19) That’s why it’s good to forgive and make up in this world instead of having a serious conversation with God about it some 3-seconds after you die. I really do not want to hear, “Why didn’t you forgive your husband/wife for XYZ when I forgave you all that debt of your sins and waywardness? You should have forgiven your spouse and tried to build a happier marriage in your 37-year marriage before you died but instead it was all emptiness and drudgery.” Let us all strive so that does not happen.

  13. I am really glad I signed up to your website/blog – I believe I felt led to do so. It is great because I want to grow and be the wife God desires me to be and I desire that too! I love the fact I can have online fellowship in a sense and hear testimonies from other christian women. This vote has also made me consider my prayer life and has given me the desire to pray more about the marriage God desires for my husband and myself. I can so easily point the finger at my husband about what he does and does not do – but this is not the way in Christ as he has forgiven me so must I! God has been encouraging me to look to myself and pray about all things. His will and plan is always best and ways are always above our own. I can see how I need his teaching continually in life and especially in my marriage. My husband needs my respect and I pray the the Lord will guide me and help me to do so! Glad to be on here – Katie 😀

    1. Katie,

      I am thrilled to hear from you! What a beautiful heart for Christ and for the body of Christ and for marriage you have. I am honored to get to be on this journey together. I believe we all need encouragement, exhortation, prayer, and mentoring on this journey to become godly wives. What a wonderful answer to prayer that you are finding all of these blessings here.

      Much love to you!!

      1. Hi! Thank you. Nice to hear back so soon 🙂 I’m really interested in doing the respect dare and wondering how that works 🙂

        Love to you also. God bless you

  14. This is a very interesting topic that throws light on the realities of marriage. Unfortunately, many of us christian women fantasize about a man who will daily hold our hands in prayer. It is a beautiful scene to behold and we women who are romantic at heart always yearn for such connection. But i believe if we are truthful to ourselves, most of us will realize we sometimes expect too much.

    When i recently God married, i got a great advice from an elderly woman which i will like to share. She cautioned me not to neglect prayer simply because my husband refused to pray with me. I have totally come to agree with her.

    Before i got married, i had a wonderful personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I went to prayer vigils, prayed at home and sometimes at the park alone. Those were moments i will cherish forever as i fellowshipped with “my first love”. I believe it was through such prayers that God blessed me with a good husband.

    Do i stop this communication with God simply because i have all of a sudden realized i cannot pray alone? Do our prayer partners sometimes not disappoint us when we plan to pray together? Do we sometimes not beat ourselves for going the whole day without a word of prayer? This goes to show that we are all work in progress and have left the holy Spirit waiting for us to commune with him several times without showing up. Getting angry at our husbands for not praying with us is sometimes a defense mechanism when we realize we ourselves have failed to keep up with God.

    In marriage, the woman is sometimes more prayerful than the man and may have to intercede for the family until he catches up. This can really be frustrating because we hear that the family that prays together stays together. However, i believe that the wife who intercedes for her family also keeps them together. Why force your husband to pray with you if he doesn’t want to? God never forced anyone to pray to him even though he expects us to. We are called to be helpmates to our husbands and this may also be in the area of prayer. I would rather my husband pray with me willingly than to pray just to satisfy me. After all, the prayer is not to us as wives but to God.

    In my case, i am the long hours all through the night prayer warrior who quickly dig her hands into food before remembering to pray. My husband on the other hand prays at every meal and speaks to God shortly and silently every night. I must confess i sometimes doze off without praying hoping to make up for it at a long prayer session. Thus, in his own small way, he covers the loopholes i leave.

    Praying together is the best and i advocate for it but i will not frustrate both of us by always insisting. I will leave the holy spirit to work it out and remain content where we are now.

    1. Matilda,

      This is AWESOME!!! Thank you very much for sharing with our sisters! I wonder if you might allow me to share this anonymously as a post on the blog or on Facebook? I believe it will bless so many. 🙂

      God has shown you many of the things He has shown me. This is powerful! I can’t wait to talk more about this topic!!

      1. Write away April, i feel honored. I chanced upon your blog soon after i got married and that has been just a year and two months. As a recovering feminist, i knew i needed it. God bless you so much, i am proud of you.

        1. Thank you so much, Matilda! I praise God for what He is doing in you! Living in this culture, I think we are all recovering feminists whether we realize it or not. I have to give God all the credit and glory for anything good in me, it certainly does not come from me! I am so thankful God used the blog to bless you. I can’t wait to hear more about what He is doing in your life! :). Much love, my dear sister!

  15. I greatly appreciate each of you taking time to answer my questions, and I also really appreciate all of the comments. They are very helpful to me as I try to wrap my mind around what is going on collectively in all of our marriages spiritually. I am excited to address this issue soon and to have more discussion to encourage, bless, and strengthen us all in our faith and walk with Christ and in our marriages. 🙂

  16. I pray with my husband in the morning, it’s our habit now. Concerning extra prayers, my husband is always up for a prayer when I initiate it, but I wish he could initiate it more himself! He prays throughout the day, but rarely asks me to pray with him, which I can be a bit upset about. Also, he rarely tells me when he is down spiritually and rarely asks for my prayer support, which makes me also a bit sad, and when I ask him: “Why don’t you ask me to pray for this or that situation?” He would reply that he didn’t wish to burden me with his problems; but to me it sounds as though he thinks I won’t help him anyway, so he should better keep it to himself.

    1. Anna,

      I am really glad you commented! I had to smile that you have a husband who prays with you daily – but you would still like a lot more! I think it is important for the ladies whose husbands don’t pray with them to realize this. We can be rather insatiable at times – or – I know I sure can be!

      Ultimately, our husbands can never really meet our deepest spiritual and emotional needs – that is what Jesus is for!

      I also was thinking about that your husband doesn’t share prayer requests with you – it sounds to me like he doesn’t want to stress you out or make you worry. Sounds like my husband. 🙂 It may be that he is trying to protect you spiritually from things that he feels may be too heavy for you. I know you may not feel the same way about these things. But I think it may be one way he tries to show you love.

      Very interesting.

      Thank you for sharing!

  17. I found this so helpful and makes me feel better that I am not the only one. For a long time I longed for my husband to pray with me. He professes to be a believer, reads a devotional and his bible (most days)but has verbalized that he is not really comfortable praying with me or out loud. He initiates praying over our meals but very often looks to me to do it. He has also said I take too long : ).
    I guess I just thought that it was our one time praying together I better get everything addressed then and there. Since he has been able to let me know how he feels about it I have tried to keep it short. I know God knows my heart and all that is on it. I have learned to be content with that and my husband is respectful of my morning prayer time and that I take time every Sunday evening to fast and pray.
    My only real issue for me regarding my husband praying is that when he finishes a prayer he does not say at the end ” In Jesus name I pray”. I believe this is very important but he does not.
    I would appreciate any thoughts on this April.

    : ) Jennifer

    1. Jen1975,

      I’m so glad that this was helpful for you. A lot of husbands, obviously, don’t like to pray out loud with their wives – or anywhere, possibly. I’m glad that you are willing to respect his request about praying briefly at meals.

      Jesus talks about praying “in His Name” but – my understanding is that He intended that to mean, “in His will, in His power, and in His authority” – not a phrase we must add on to every prayer. He didn’t include that phrase in His Model Prayer in Matthew 6, Himself. So – I vote to let your husband pray however he would like to and be content with that. 🙂

      Much love!

  18. Hi April,
    Just had one of those random thoughts re this issue, may have come from breathing chicken feathers while cleaning the hen house, lol!

    I was thinking about why it bothers me so much when I hear of other women who have men who seem to fit the ideal image; you know, seriously godly man who takes his walk with Jesus seriously, would rather be found dead than put anything ahead of his Lord, takes discpling and leading his family very seriously, wants to lead his wife and seeks God daily for His direction is in the word, when he’s wrong or has sinned, promptly confesses and does what he can to make it right, etc. You know, the kind of man who is upheld as the male version of the Prov. 31 gal.

    I think it triggers twin fears:
    1. Another sister has been more loved and favored than I. Why her and not me?
    2. And of course, the fear that I have somehow wound up with a “dud” and seriously messed up my life.

    Of course both those things are still all focused on me. Don’t know if this amounts to spiritual sibling rivalry or not, hee hee:) But I think that’s it; no one wants to feel that somehow they’ve missed out and they have something that is of far lesser quality than what others have. It’s said that comparison is the basis of feelings of inferiority and there is some truth to that one. It’s not just when I hear of a sister whose husband takes praying with his wife seriously, but when I hear of other sisters who have husbands who bring them flowers or plan romantic surprises or who put an equal amount of effort into have a real relationship.

    Such things touch deeply on root issues in my life that are painful, and on response patterns that probably have something to with what sorts of things continually crop up. And of course there is always the whole thing of wanting our sense of value and worth to come from other people instead of Christ. I realize that in a sense, writing this, well, it certainly gives away that I have some areas where even at the age of 50, its like I am still a hurt and jealous, insecure child watching what everyone else has to make sure that i am not getting ripped off somehow – hardly makes me the sort of woman you’d come to for discipling and wisdom on how to be a mature woman of God.

    But scripturally, I realize that this is one of those issues that is a trust in God issue at core. And its one of those places that affords the evil one convenient handles to grab onto and mess with us. Its only in Him that such soul snarls can get worked out. I was thinking of the scripture where one of the disciples asked Jesus about another disciple’s future and Jesus responded by saying ” What is that to you? Come you after me”.

    When I looked this scripture up online, I came across John Piper’s article on the Desiring God site about the same subject, which delighted me and I think may prove a blessing to us all :

    1. Patricia,

      Oh, this is SO GOOD!!!!!!! I hope you might allow me to share this at some point, my sweet sister! So much wisdom here!!!! What a blessing you are to me! We all do have triggers – I know I do. I still have areas where I need to grow – and I know that I will never reach perfection this side of heaven. There is always so much more to learn! I have to be really careful about not focusing on what husbands “should” do. I get myself in trouble if I start allowing myself to have a bunch of expectations – especially ones that just don’t match my husband’s personality and style or where he is right now.

      I do so much better when I focus on just Jesus and my walk with Him. And, honestly, I can go a lot deeper in prayer and in learning at God’s feet when I am by myself in private prayer. I desperately need those times! That is where I grow and receive the most nourishment. And I can go at my own pace. It is very dangerous to compare – we don’t do a very accurate job. But we also don’t know God’s plans for each person – and His plans are different for each of us. So, you are so right – it doesn’t matter what the other person has or what I don’t have – my job is to follow Christ!

      LOVE THIS!!!!!!!

      You are such a blessing and a treasure to me!

  19. Thanks April! I for one very much enjoy the back and forth we all have going on here, as we speak of where we are at in our lives and have a chance to both give and recieve. I liked what you said about being able to go much deeper with Jesus in private prayer; made me realize afresh that while I wish he and I could share delight in the things of God together, it’s not true that I am spiritually impoverished if this doesn’t happen. God’s RICHES at Christ’s Expense, right? I don’t mind at all if you can make use of this in a future post. Thank you for being a blessing and so patient and nurturing with those of us who are still swerving all over the road in our spiritual driving 🙂

    1. Patricia,
      I love the dialogue and discussions we have here, as well. Such a blessing and encouragement to me!

      Honestly, so many people have a hard time fitting in time alone with God – much less couple time together to pray. If we have to choose – I would choose private prayer and private Bible study any day. That is where I grow the most and where I can most clearly deal with my own sins and allow God’s Spirit to work most powerfully in my heart without distractions.

      For me, there is also a danger of beginning to depend too much on my husband spiritually rather than only depending on Christ. I seem to do best when I realize that all of my faith is hanging on Christ, not my husband. I don’t know if that makes sense.

      I am so thankful that you are willing to allow me to share this. I believe it will be a blessing!

      Just this past month, I began to swerve a bit myself – and had to really just refocus on who God is, my identity in Christ, and LOTS of time in God’s Word and in fervent private prayer. We are all human and all in desperate need of God! I know I am. Apart from Him – there is literally nothing good in me at all.

      Much love!

  20. Sometimes I think a lot of us women need to check our motives regarding wanting our men to pray with us. I think it can easily become an idol and something of an emotional experience to feed our flesh.

  21. I think men are afraid of being judged by their wives and think they are ‘less than’ their spiritual appearing wives. Or maybe they feel we have it covered if we are praying for our family. These are some possibilities. Am I close in wondering these things?

  22. Hello!! April, first I just want to say THANK YOU for your AMAZING insights all throughout your blog and videos. You are a real treasure from heaven!

    I saw this post and discussed it with my husband to gather his thoughts, as I have some to share as well. He is an incredible man and a gift from God, who prays regularly with me and for me. I asked how he would explain why he prays with me:

    “I value prayer very much, because it is an important part of my spiritual walk with God. Therefore, prayer is an important part of my marriage because marriage is a spiritual thing. I believe that more men don’t pray with their wives because they don’t see marriage as something spiritual, but view marriage more like a natural thing or a cohabitation. Guys are WAY more likely to respond to affirmation and encouragement, for example “I love it when you pray”, or “I like that you are a man of prayer, can we pray together?”. Demeaning statements, like “I pray more than you.” “You never pray with me.” or ” ____ prays more than you do” — these statements will do ANYTHING BUT inspire men to pray with their wives, and neither does a demanding spirit.”

    I absolutely agree with my husband’s perspective. I believe as wives, we have been privileged with profound influence over our husbands. They may seem “strong” and unmoved, but the opinion of their wives can either inspire him to rise to the call of God or crush his spirit. Our husbands belong to the Lord, and we have no right to a demanding or entitled spirit. Loving, encouraging, and respecting our husbands is an act of worship unto the Lord — since our husbands belong to the Lord. All throughout the Bible, you see examples of worship and praise in spiritual warfare — and I believe with ALL MY HEART that burdens & yokes over our husbands are broken as we worship the Lord and have His praise on our lips. Praise is powerful! So speak life to your husband, about your husband, and in prayer over your husband. It does take a level of faith to see your husband as a man of God when you don’t feel like you see the fruit of that just yet. But know that your faith pleases God, He LOVES your faith! Pray for your husband, and take personal responsibility for yourself. A great book to consider is “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian

    Much love!

    1. Mialoobabadoo,


      THANK you and THANK your husband for sharing these insights! I hope you might allow me to share this comment in its entirety anonymously in a post at some point in the future. I may see if my editors might allow me to include part of your comment and your husband’s comment in my book that I am finishing revisions on right now – if you both would allow me to. 🙂


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